The Mental Health Benefits of Having Pets

Have you ever noticed that spending time with an animal can make you feel great?

Whether it’s the wagging tail of a dog greeting you when you come home, the soft purring of a cat curled up on your lap, or the calming sight of fish swimming in a tank, pets have an undeniable way of bringing joy into our lives, and that joy can make a big difference in your mental health. Pets offer us comfort and unconditional love, which can be protective in times when you’re struggling with your mental health. 

If you’ve ever wondered why so many people are drawn to pet ownership, it might surprise you just how much our furry (or scaly!) friends help improve our well-being, even if they’re a lot of work sometimes. Animals offer us far more than simply companionship - they become a part of our lives and our well-being, helping us to thrive mentally, emotionally, and even socially. 

Why We’re Drawn to Pets

Pets offer a deep sense of companionship, loyalty, and love. Animals don’t judge us or make us feel bad about ourselves; they simply love us. In a world that often feels overwhelming, pets provide an unwavering, safe source of affection and comfort. Taking care of a pet can remind us to take care of ourselves. After all - who’s going to take care of your beloved pet if you aren’t able to? Taking care of yourself helps you take care of your pet, and this can be helpful for those of us who feel stretched thin by responsibilities and expectations. 

The bond between humans and animals is truly unique, and the benefits of having a pet go beyond just companionship. Here are a few ways that having pets can benefit your mental health:

Manage stress

Studies have demonstrated that simply petting an animal can reduce stress. Stroking a cat’s fur or hugging a dog lowers your level of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, and promotes relaxation. Because of this, having a pet nearby can make stressful situations feel more manageable. 

In addition to lowering our stress hormone levels, pets offer us a reprieve from the stresses of daily life. Their presence provides an escape from our fast-paced world, encouraging us to slow down and live in the moment. Just watching your pet go about their day can be a soothing, calming experience.

Provide companionship

In moments of loneliness, having a pet by your side can make all the difference. Pets provide nonjudgmental companionship, offering unconditional love and support without any expectations. They are always there for us, whether we’re having a great day or a difficult one. 

For women who often juggle multiple roles—whether it's in the workplace, at home, or in relationships—having a pet can provide a sense of stability and comfort that feels grounding. The act of simply being in the presence of an animal has been shown to release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and reduces feelings of isolation.

Give us a routine

Caring for a pet adds structure to our day, giving us a sense of purpose and routine, which is especially helpful during periods of uncertainty. We tend to be creatures of habit, and having a routine can be protective for your mental health, especially when times are tough. Knowing that you need to take the dog out or give the cat his medicine adds structure and purpose to your day to day routine. Our pets’ routines can give us something positive to focus on, which can be calming.

Encourage physical activity

Moving your body can boost your mood, reduce anxiety, and even improve your energy levels.  Pets give us a perfect opportunity to engage in physical activity. This is especially true for pets that require lots of activity, like dogs. Pets keep us moving, whether we’re taking the dog for a walk, playing fetch, or chasing the cat around the house.. Physical activity has a profound impact on mental health, boosting mood, reducing anxiety, and improving overall energy levels. Even if you don’t have a dog, spending time with pets, playing, grooming, or caring for them, creates small but meaningful moments of movement and engagement.

Facilitate social connections

Pets help us connect with other people, which is essential to us as social animals. Think about it -  pets are great conversation starters! Whether it’s chatting with other dog owners at the park or striking up a conversation at the vet’s office, pets create opportunities for social interaction that we wouldn’t always get without them. Even for those of us who struggle with anxiety in social situations, pets can act as an icebreaker, making it easier to connect with others.

If you’re feeling isolated, particularly if you work from home or live alone, having a pet can fill that void. Surveys of pet owners have shown that people who own pets often feel a stronger sense of community and belonging, even if it’s just from connecting with fellow pet owners. Reducing loneliness and fostering a sense of inclusion and community can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. 

Help explore new interests

In addition to facilitating social connections, becoming a pet owner can introduce you to new hobbies and interests. Whether it’s learning about pet care, joining a community of pet lovers, or discovering a favorite walking route, pets open the door to new experiences that enrich our lives. Trying new things is powerful for our brains - it can help support our cognitive abilities, and be protective as we age, in addition to providing us with variety and fun. 

Encourage mindfulness and staying present

Animals live entirely in the present moment. Our pets can teach us to be more connected to the present rather than worrying about the future or stressing about the past. Pets don’t worry about what people think of them. They don’t care about your job or your love life, or that chore you’ve been avoiding. They just care about being with you, right now, which can be a helpful reminder to enjoy all of life’s moments, big or small. Pets encourage us to be more mindful of the here and now—something that can be incredibly healing for our mental health. Mindfulness is a powerful skill that can help with anxiety, depression, and even chronic pain relief. 

Show us unconditional love

There’s nothing like experiencing the unconditional love of a pet. We are the entire world to our beloved animals, and it’s clear to see when they’re delighted as you walk through the door, when they curl up next to you, or when they respond to your voice. Pets offer us unconditional love, even when we feel like we don’t deserve it, which can be especially powerful.

Give us a reason to keep going

Being a person is hard, and there are times when it’s tough to find a reason to keep going. Pets  can be a big source of comfort during tough times. Our pets give us a sense of stability in our lives, and can make us feel needed. Caring for pets can help us feel a sense of purpose that’s greater than ourselves, and that can make a big difference for people. After all, that’s why people are drawn to art, religion, and nature, to name a few. 

Pet ownership isn’t the only way to tend to your mental health, of course. Making time for regular self care, social connections, and working with a therapist are other ways to support your mental health. If you’d like to start working with a therapist, our clinicians are accepting appointments. Get started here.

How to Practice Reaching Out After Self Isolating

The problem with loneliness is it can be a self reinforcing perspective. 

We all feel lonely from time to time, but sometimes the loneliness grows so big, we don’t feel like we can escape it. When loneliness is that all consuming, our whole world view can become twisted by that loneliness, convincing us that our cruel, self-isolating thoughts are true. 

When we’re lonely, it can start to feel like there must be a reason for it, and that reason must be us. We start to feel like we’re broken and that it must be good, in a way, that we’re alone, because in such a deep depression it can feel hard to remember how to connect with others. 

The only way to heal our loneliness is by connecting with others–but like many unhelpful patterns, loneliness can become familiar, and the threat of the unknown can feel greater than the threat of loneliness. And the longer we self isolate, the harder it becomes to reach out to people. We feel shame at how long it’s been since we reached out, or fear that our loved ones will be upset with us–or worse, have no desire to have us back in their lives now that we’ve been out of them for so long. All of these things make it harder and harder to break out of self isolating once you’ve begun. 

But the secret truth is: you get a little grace when you’re struggling if you let people in. 

It can feel larger than it is. In your head, you may be remembering a text your friend sent a month ago that you never responded to. In your imagination, that friend is mad at you for ignoring them, and doesn’t want to hear from you now. 

In reality? Your friend has a hectic life too. The same thing has happened to them at one point–and it’s much more likely that they’ll be happy to get a message from you now, a month late, than to never get one ever again. And every time you give yourself a chance to be forgiven, you lay the foundation for more self kindness, and greater ease in relying on your support system. 

So how can you start to practice reaching out to others after self isolating? 

Start with a therapist: 

Therapy is a no-judgment zone, and can be a great starting point when you’re teaching yourself how to reach out. You can work through some of what caused you to self isolate, the fears reinforcing that isolation, and have a reliable support system to turn to when you start reaching out to loved ones in your life. While you have your own role in therapy, it’s not the type of reciprocal relationship we have elsewhere, so it can be lower risk to admit to a therapist than to a friend that you’ve been lonely and struggling. Then, with that practice and support under your belt, you can spread that practice elsewhere. 

Express gratitude for the relationships you reach out to: 

People can be much more forgiving than our imaginations give them credit for, but loneliness affects us all! There is a chance your friend or loved one may have felt rejected or dismissed or devalued in your absence–they may have taken your absence to be a reflection on them, rather than a sign you needed support. Letting your loved ones know you’ve missed them, that they’re important to you, and you’re grateful to be able to be honest and vulnerable with them can go a long way. It helps let your loved one know this time apart was not maliciously motivated, and can help reduce defensiveness so everyone can be open about what they’re feeling and what they need. 

Give yourself some grace: 

Don’t try to do everything at once. Small steps forward slowly and consistently are much better than big leaps that cause you to tumble. Reach out to one person at a time, add your regular activities back in one at a time, or try one new thing at a time. You don’t have to flood your calendar to stop self isolation. Call one more person this week, and start there! Don’t blame yourself for your loneliness–it’s common and normal to feel lonely. And it’s okay if it happens even when you’re reaching out to people. There’s nothing wrong with you. Lean into your support systems as you grow them.  

Do you struggle with reaching out to others, even when you really need it? You’re not alone! Working with a therapist can help you feel more comfortable reaching out instead of turning in when you’re struggling. Our therapists have appointments available now - click here to get started.  

How to Ask for Help When You Need It

Do you feel comfortable asking for help?

If you struggle with asking for help, you’re not alone. 

As humans, we’re literally built for community, but that doesn’t make it any easier to ask for help when you need it. In our culture, which is so focused on individualism and the self, it can feel jarring to reach out to others for support and help, even when you need it. 

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

As we grow up, it becomes harder and harder to ask for help. Part of this is because as we get older, we become more independent and are more capable of meeting our own needs. 

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, or lazy, or not good enough, or incapable, or anything negative. 

If you grew up with caregivers who found it difficult to ask for help, you might also find it hard to ask for help when you need it. If you’re someone who takes pride in their independence and self-sufficiency, it might be hard to admit to yourself, let alone others, that you need help or support. 

The idea that asking for help makes you weak or lazy is a fairly common worry for people, but remind yourself over and over that asking for help is a basic human need. We all do it, and the more you do it, the less strange it will feel. 

How to know when you need help

Remember that we all need help from time to time. We are built to live in communities where we help each other, even if that’s not how our society is currently structured. It’s natural to rely on others - no one can do everything on their own, forever. 

So, how can you even tell when you need help? It can be hard to even recognize when you’re in over your head if you’re not used to asking for support. Some signs that’ it’s time to call in help include: 

• Feeling constantly overwhelmed or burnt out

• Dealing with something difficult, like grief, stress, a traumatic event, or a mental health condition

• Being physically unable to do things for yourself

• Losing interest in things you care about 

• Emotions you don’t understand or that scare you

• Feeling unable to meet your needs 

So, how can you make it easier to ask for help when you need it? Try these suggestions: 

Practice checking in with yourself so you know how you feel

It’s hard to ask for help when you don’t know how you feel or what you need support with. Identifying how you’re feeling is an important first step, because it can clue you in to what you need. It takes practice to learn what certain emotions feel like for you, or the signs that indicate that you could use some assistance, but the more you make it a habit to check in with yourself, the easier it will be to figure out what you need. 

Think about what gets in the way of asking for help

When you need help, what is it that makes you feel like you can’t ask for help? Do you tell yourself stories like “I”m not good enough” or “Asking for help makes me lazy” or even “No one would want to help me, anyway”? We all have these knee-jerk reactions, about everything, and trying to untangle the helpful thoughts from the unhelpful ones can make a big difference. Remind yourself that we all need help from time to time. 

Know what you’re asking for

It’s hard to offer help to someone who isn’t sure what they’re asking for, so it’s helpful to know what you need help with in the first place. What is the issue you’re having trouble with? Are you asking for one favor, or do you need more long-term support? What are the smallest chunks you can break the need down into? 

Use DEAR MAN or other format to plan the conversation

There are many helpful ways to structure important conversations, but the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skill “DEAR MAN” can be a useful guide for structuring the conversation. DEAR MAN is an Interpersonal Effectiveness skill in DBT that helps you plan out what you’re going to say in a difficult conversation. 

There are different approaches, based on what your main goal is for the discussion, but the basic structure goes like this: 

• Describe the problem or situation

• Express how you feel about it

• Assert your need for help

• Reinforce what’s in it for the other person to help you

• Mindfully focus on your goal

• Appear confident

• Negotiate if necessary

Approach people you trust and have a relationship with

Asking for help can be trickier when you don’t have a relationship with the person you need help from. As you build up your confidence in asking for help, start by approaching people you already trust and have a good relationship with. Asking for help and getting it can help you feel more comfortable with asking for help in general, and that confidence can help you in moments where you need help from someone you don’t know as well. 

Don’t beat yourself up for needing help

Finally, be nice to yourself when you’re asking for help. You’re not stupid, or bad, or wrong, or lazy, or not good enough, or whatever it is that you feel when you ask for help. Don’t beat yourself up for needing support - it’s absolutely human to need help, and it’s okay to ask for it. You’re doing a hard thing, and you should be proud of yourself! 

What to do when you ask for help and are told no

Everyone has different capacities for helping others, and there might be a time when you ask for help and the person you’re asking says no. This doesn’t mean that you can’t ask for help when you need it! It can be discouraging to work up the nerve to ask someone for something, especially when you don’t usually ask for help. 

Remember that someone being unable to offer help doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you, that you aren’t worthy of help, or that you’re a burden. It usually just means that they don’t have the capacity to help you at the moment. It’s okay to ask someone else, even if you’ve already been turned down, because it’s still okay to need help. 

Do you struggle with asking for help from others, even when you really need it? You’re not alone! Working with a therapist can help you feel more comfortable asking for help when you need it. Our therapists have appointments available now - click here to get started.