4 Tips to Help You Cultivate Optimism

What does it mean to be optimistic?

Being optimistic is being able to find a positive outlook–even in negative situations. 

Did you just roll your eyes a bit? It can be hard to commit to optimism. The world today is filled with natural disasters, poverty, war, and various political and social crises. It can be hard to balance all of that news–news that we now get at the speed of light thanks to social media–and still remain optimistic. And that’s not even considering the events of your daily life. 

But, as far fetched as it might seem, being optimistic can not only allow you to enjoy your day to day life more, through finding those silver linings, but it can also: 

• Boost your physical health

• Boost your emotional health

• Facilitate greater achievements

• Decrease stress

• And even increase longevity 

What makes up an optimistic mindset?

Is it just ignoring bad things when they happen? Is it ignoring the bad feelings we get? Or pretending that things are great when they’re not?

Nope. 

Optimists aren’t in denial. They don’t ignore when negative things happen, nor do they refuse to let themselves feel any sort of negative or uncomfortable emotion. The difference between optimists and pessimists, is that when such a negative event occurs, optimists allow themselves to see both the negatives and the positives. 

Let’s say you’re going up for a new job. 

A pessimist might think, “What’s the point? Nothing good ever happens to me anyway.” Then, if they don’t get the job, that thinking would just be reaffirmed. They would see the negative outcome as an inevitability, and a pattern they can’t escape, rather than a one time instance. 

An optimist on the other hand, might think, “What’s the worst the could happen? I might as well try.” And then, if they didn’t get the job, instead of thinking “See? Trying is pointless.” they might think something like, “That stinks, but this must not be the right fit for me. Let’s see what I can use from the experience going forward for the next thing I try.” 

See the difference? 

It’s not denying the unfortunate event or ignoring the feelings of disappointment. Optimism in this case is seeing that not getting that job is an isolated incident, and one that can be reflected on and learned from. 

So, how can you shift your thinking?

It would be great if you could just say, “Okay! I’m going to be an optimist now!” Unfortunately, as is the case with any shift in mindset, it’s going to take a bit more work than that. Below are 4 things you can do to start reflecting on and shifting your own mindset to a more optimistic one: 

1). Examine where you find happiness: 

One reason pessimists are pessimistic is because happiness for them is attached to some external source, rather than an innate sense inside of them. They will be happy if they have the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect partner, the perfect social life, etc. The pressure for perfection leads to stress, can exacerbate anxiety and depression, and completely hinders their capacity for happiness when things aren’t perfect. 

Instead, learning to be happy as you are–and seeing those other things as wonderful, happy bonuses–can stop the catastrophizing thinking that comes with negative events (not getting a job, a break up, etc.) 

2). Practice Kindness:

It’s been shown that being kind or helpful to others can actually improve your mood. But kindness doesn’t have to be reserved to just acts of charity, it can also be about questioning your perspective. Kindness can be just imagining that everyone is trying their best, at any given time. We all have bad days. Keeping that in mind can help you offer more compassion and kindness to everyone you interact with. If someone isn’t friendly or accommodating to you, maybe it’s not because they are rude or hate you. Maybe it’s because they are having a terrible day. 

When you allow this room for compassion for others, you are also able to start to judge yourself less harshly. And, when things do go “wrong” it gives you a new perspective. Maybe the person hanging up abruptly actually had nothing to do with you. De-centering yourself like that can help to remind you that there are things outside of your control and that all you can do is make the best of the situation you’re in. 

3). Take time to notice what affects your mood: 

Are there things that make you feel happier and more optimistic? Add more of those into your life. Are there things that drag your mood down, and make you more pessimistic? Consider how to limit those things, if not remove them from your routine completely. 

For example: are you overwhelmed by negative sentiments as soon as you log into Twitter? Maybe it’s time to cut down the list of people you’re following. Narrow it down to people who post things that don’t sour your outlook or make you feel bad. 

4). Keep a gratitude journal: 

It can be easy to overlook all the things we love about our lives. Many of the things we’re grateful for go ignored and unacknowledged until we lose them. 

Instead, take a few minutes each day and make a list of the things that happened that day that you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it can be as simple as “someone held a door open for me while my hands were full” or “my coworker said I was doing a great job.”

Learning to recognize and appreciate all of those small, positive things in a day can help shift your mindset. Once you start noticing them you won’t be able to stop–and soon your outlook will be vastly more positive than it was before! 

Optimism, like many mindset shifts, is a fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of deal. Even if you don’t think those tips will work, pretend you do! Try it for a day, a week, a month. See what happens when you allow yourself to focus on the positive–even if it feels fake at first. If you need support in shifting your mindset to a more optimistic one, our counselors can guide you through the process. 

therapists in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

Feeling Stuck? Try These 6 Things

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you can’t move forward? There are all kinds of reasons that you might be feeling stuck in life, whether it be in your romantic relationships, your career, your platonic relationships, or any other area of your life. When you feel stuck, you feel like you can't move forward in any way, no matter what you try. Some people feel stuck in a relationship that’s no longer serving them. Some people feel stuck in a job that doesn’t suit their talents or their passion. Others might feel stuck in their own negative thoughts. Many creative folks have periods where they’re stuck and can’t come up with any new work or anything they’re proud of.  Any way you slice it, we’ve all felt stuck over something at one time or another. 

When you feel stuck, it can seem like an endless cycle. It can feel like you’re moving in circles or even backward, instead of toward the goal you’re working for. Being stuck can make you feel burned out, less confident, and desperate to make something work. Not exactly ideal conditions to make changes in your life, right? 

However, to get out of the cycle of stuck-ness, change has to happen somewhere. When you’re frustrated and overwhelmed, it can be hard to think of the next move to make. Instead of suffering from decision paralysis, try one of these options to see if they help you move forward: 

Don't keep doing the same thing

First of all, if nothing you’re doing is working, cut it out! You are not serving yourself by continuing on with a plan that’s going nowhere. You don’t need to prove anything by continuing on the path you’ve started down. If something doesn’t work for you, you’re allowed to try something else! Giving up on your initial plan might feel like a kind of failure, but you’re really just learning how to adapt to the situation you’re in. That’s a valuable skill.

Assess how you got here

You don’t want to try to move forward and end up in the same place again. To do that, though, you need to get tough with yourself: how did this situation happen in the first place? Reflect on the decisions you made and the actions you took that led to feel stuck. In order to learn from our missteps, we need to understand them. This step is hard, but it’s crucial to make sure you don’t end up stuck in the same cycle again. 

Change your perspective 

Can you look at your situation in a different way? Sometimes, getting someone else's opinion on things can help you see things in a new light. It’s valuable to get someone else’s opinion because we all have different ways of looking at the world. Maybe a friend or loved one (or therapist!) can help you see things from a new angle or come up with some new solutions to try. It can also be refreshing to get your feelings off your chest and open up to someone. At the very least, even if they can’t help you solve your problem, they can be a source of emotional comfort and support when you feel stuck. 

Take a break

Sometimes, you just need to recharge and try again later. It’s okay to stop trying for a bit and come back to the problem later. You don’t have to constantly make yourself miserable over being stuck. You’re allowed to take time to yourself. Rest is something that many of us don’t get enough of, so feeling stuck could be your body’s way of telling you to take a break. You might also find that stepping away from the problem can clear your mind and help you come at it with fresh eyes when you’re ready to deal with it again. 

Be gentle with yourself

Who's putting the pressure on you? Is it you, or is it someone else? Or maybe both? You don't have to be perfect. In fact, you can't be. When you're struggling, beating yourself up about it only does one thing: it makes you feel worse. Instead, be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best. If you have a hard time being gentle with yourself, pretend you’re talking to your best friend. How would you help them with this? 

Remind yourself that you have options when you feel stuck

Remember: you always have options, even when you feel backed into a corner and like you have nothing you can do. You probably even have more options than you think you do. If you’re having a hard time seeing what options you have, talking to a therapist might be a great next step! Therapists have a unique perspective and can help you work through issues you’re stuck on. Reach out to us today so we can help get you unstuck! 

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therapist in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

How to Tap Into and Listen to Your Intuition

What is Intuition?

Intuition sounds like a complex, magical thing. When we think about intuitive people there’s an air of fortune-telling or mysticism that comes along with the word, but all intuition really is is your feelings. Intuition is your gut instinct in any situation. 

You know that saying “you know more than you think you do”? That’s where intuition comes in. We have so much knowledge stored in our brains that we don’t access on a daily basis, so sometimes we forget it’s there. Your gut feelings, your intuition, is that knowledge coming back up. 

Past experiences are all stored in our brains, and while we may not be actively thinking about them, our brain can access them when it needs to. It uses those past experiences and cues from our environment and our sense of self and all comes together to give us those gut feelings we call intuition. 

Your body and your brain can interpret your environment faster than you can, so when you get a “bad feeling” it doesn’t mean you’re overreacting or being “crazy”–it means that there is something there, some element of your environment that triggered that knowledge in the back recesses of your brain before you could piece it together yourself. 

Our intuition doesn’t yell at us. It’s like a whisper in the back of our minds. Sometimes we can’t even explain what it’s trying to say–it’s just a feeling that something is off, that something needs closer attention, something drawing us in a particular direction. This is also why our intuition is so often ignored. If you aren’t intentional about listening to your intuition it can seem like a silly feeling, something you just need to shake off. 

Signs You Aren’t Listening to Your Intuition:

1. There’s constant discomfort in your stomach

   Yes! Turns out your gut feelings can actually have a physical effect on your actual gut. The mind-body connection is extremely powerful; our bodies know when something in our mind has been left unattended. And when we have ignored our feelings or anxieties, our body tries to force us to address them. These feelings manifest in physical symptoms, which in this case is most commonly stomach ache or distress. 

2. You feel like you’re lying

   When someone asks you how you are and you respond “Great!” because you can’t point to anything technically wrong in your life, does it actually feel great? If you’re looking for reasons why that “great” might be a lie, chances are you have missed something your intuition has been trying to tell you. Even if things are going well, there is a gut feeling there that you need to make a change, and when you ignore that feeling, what should feel great starts to feel off. 

3. You feel out of place socially

   Our intuition can play a huge role in our social lives if we let it. When we listen to our intuition socially, we’re able to find our place better, find the people we can really bond with. But often, we’re looking for the people who are right for us on paper, rather than in our guts. Maybe you spend time with your coworkers because you want to fit in at work, maybe you feel like you’re constantly adjusting yourself to fit into your social group, etc. Instead of making changes within yourself that aren’t true to who you are, listen to what your intuition is telling you about your social situation. Tap into that gut feeling when meeting new people. Do you click? Does it feel right? Or do you feel out of place?

How You Can Tap Into Your Intuition:

Learning to listen to our intuition can be an incredible turning point. It might be a big adjustment (especially if you’re a person who likes to make pro/con lists before making every decision) but tapping into the powerful knowledge we already have about ourselves can do wonders for our mental health. It helps us: 

• Feel more confident in our decisions

• Feel more confident in ourselves

• Feel more at ease in our social circles

• Feel more at peace in our day to day lives

• Improve health & sleep overall

So how can you start to tap into your intuition?

1. Practice Mindfulness

   when you make mindfulness a regular part of your routine, your intuition (and your ability to hear and heed your intuition) grows stronger. Find a few moments each day to commit to mindfulness. Whether it’s on your drive to work, while you’re brushing your teeth, just before you go to bed, etc. Whatever it is you decide to do mindfully, commit to that one activity entirely. Think about what you’re doing, what you’re feeling, the environment around you. When you actively practice noticing the present moment, it is easier to recognize your intuition when it tries to speak with you. 

2. Make low-risk gut decisions

   Not sure how reliable your intuition is? Test it out a bit while you grow comfortable with it. When low-pressure decisions come up (where are you going to eat, what should you wear, what book should you start next) make the decision based purely on whatever gut feeling you get. This can help you start to trust your own intuition, and allow you to rely on it when bigger decisions come along. 

3. Keep a dream journal

   Our dreams are often huge methods of communication for our intuition. Do you ever wake from a dream and feel like it was important? What were the feelings you got from the dream, what were the big things that stood out? Keep a paper journal or use the voice memo app to record what it was that stood out about those dreams. Then take some time to reflect on what these dreams could be trying to tell you. Not every dream is a secret message, but learning to pay attention to what our mind is trying to tell us as it processes the day’s events can help us hone our intuition! 

4. Pay attention to your energy

   When does your energy feel depleted? When does it feel recharged? Do you feel anxious in specific situations? Do certain people have the same effect on your energy every time you see them? This can be your intuitions way of telling you what is good for you to keep in your life and what needs to be reevaluated. 

Do you need some extra support in learning how to tap into and trust your intuition? We can help. Contact us today!

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therapist in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a psychotherapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

A Blessing for Career and Work Struggles

So many of us struggle with knowing what it is we are meant to do with our lives and career. We get up and go to work from 9 to 5 and wonder — is this it? Is this what my life is meant to look like? Life is full of so many trade offs — we choose the secure job over the interest that we’re passionate about but seemingly doesn’t make as much sense. Years later, we find ourselves feeling disconnected, wondering why and how we can get back to this place where we look forward to each day with excitement, how to live a life of fulfillment.

Recently, I have been enjoying the work of John O’Donohue, who was an Irish writer and poet. My favorite book of his, To Bless the Space Between Us, is a collection of blessings to help readers through struggles and everyday concerns of life. There is something deeply kind and wise about his words, something which is encouraging and inspires hope during times of transition, challenge, new beginnings.

If you are currently struggling with questions of what to do with your life, your work and where it is all leading, read the blessing below by John O’Donohue. May your work be guided by the light of you, may you feel encouraged knowing that there is a path for you forward, a unique place where you are meant to be in this world. I find this greatly encouraging and hope that you find it encouraging too.

Blessing of your work by John O’Donohue

May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work
You do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul.
May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light and renewal to those
Who work with you and to those who see and receive your work.
May your work never weary you.
May it release within you wellsprings of refreshment, inspiration and excitement.
May you be present in what you do.
May you never become lost in the bland absences.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake and alert, approaching your new day with dreams,
Possibilities and promises.
May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected.
May your soul calm, console and renew you.

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career counseling in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

35 Positive Affirmations for Anxiety and Depression That Will Transform Your Life

Thoughts affect your reality — they create an energy and perspective that shape your actions. Positive affirmations can help you adopt a positive mindset and changes in your life. Although there are many things in life we cannot choose, we can always choose new thoughts and perspectives — new ways of thinking and possibilities for the future.

Here are 35 positive affirmations from author and speaker Louise Hay, to inspire you and heal your life of anxiety, stress, and depression, to bring you comfort, joy, and peace.

“All is well in my world. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe!”

“It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”

“The point of power is always in the present moment.”

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

“I forgive myself and set myself free.”

“I am Divinely guided and protected at all times.”

“I trust the process of life.”

“Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.”

“I am loved, and I am at peace.”

“My happy thoughts help create my healthy body.”

“I love and approve of myself.”

“I have compassion for all.”

“I deserve all that is good.”

“I now live in limitless love, light, and joy.”

“It is safe for me to speak up for myself.”

“I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.”

“Today is a sacred gift from Life.”

“I cross all bridges with joy and ease.”

“I experience love wherever I go.”

“I do not have to prove myself to anyone.”

“I trust my intuition. I am willing to listen to that still, small voice within.”

“I am greeted by love wherever I go.”

“The past is over.”

“I welcome miracles into my life.”

“I am in the process of positive change.”

“Nourishing myself is a joyful experience, and I am worth the time spent on my healing.”

“Whatever I need to know is revealed to me at exactly the right time.”

“I trust the process of life.”

“I listen with love to my body’s messages.”

“I forgive myself for not being perfect.”

“All is well in my world. I am calm, happy and content.”

“I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.”

“Life is very simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.”

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me.”

“I am at home in my body.”

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Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

16 Calming Quotes to Relieve Stress and Anxiety

We all experience stress and anxiety in our lives, but when it begins to interfere with the quality of our lives, it’s time to let go. We worry about our relationships. We get anxious about work and what colleagues think of us. We worry about all that we say or do — things we’ve done in the past, things we might do in the future. Soon, many of us get caught into this trap of worry that we forget to live our lives as it was intended. We lose our flow.

So let go of all the ways you thought life would unfold. Let go of the struggle and fear. Let go and find a place of peace and transformation. Below are 16 stress-relieving quotes and perspectives to help.

“In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go.”

— Jack Kornfield

“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”

— Henry Miller

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

— Lao Tzu

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”

— Confucius

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.”

— Proverb

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”

— Wayne W. Dyer

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

— William James

“Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.”

— Hans Selye

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

— Joseph Campbell

“There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.”

— James Carroll

“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”

— Hermann Hesse

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”

— James Allen

“To experience peace doesn’t mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”

— Jill Bolte Taylor

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present. ”

— Eckhart Tolle

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clinical psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

15 Beautiful Quotes to Inspire Gratitude

There is power in gratitude. Life gets busy and we forget what we have. Gratitude recenters us, grounds us, focuses us on the richness in our lives.

Often times, its the simple things that can bring us joy. A smile we are grateful for. Ice cream sorbet on a hot summer’s night. Time spent with a friend. A hot shower at the end of a long day.

The truth is, we need to make gratitude a priority. It’s easy to get lost in doing that we forget to simply be. Moreover, gratitude invites other positives in your life, such as greater connection with others, kindness, improved resilience, decreased anxiety, increased self esteem and spirituality, improved sleep, and happiness.

Here are 15 beautiful gratitude quotes to help you reflect and to inspire you.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

— Marcel Proust

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet. ”

— Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”

— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

— Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

“Forget yesterday - it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow - you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift - today.”

— Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”

— Maya Angelou

“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”

— Kahill Gibran, The Prophet

“Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.”

— Deepak Chopra

“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.”

— Mary Davis

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

— Robert Brault

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

— Melody Beattie

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.”

— Kristin Armstrong

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

— William Arthur Ward

“The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.”

— Robert Holden

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clinical psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

7 Amazing Ways to Practice Gratitude

Gratitude helps us focus on our lives in a new way. It helps us to be present with our loved ones, and present in our lives. Rather than living in one’s thoughts and feeling trapped in feelings of anxiety, stress, or depression, we’re open and receptive to new ways of thinking and feeling. There’s something freeing about gratitude, and something amazing about how it can open up and expand our hearts.

The trouble is, its hard to be grateful. Trust me, as someone who has tried for years at it, it’s not easy! But the benefits of gratitude are worth it: we’re happier and lighter. We gain perspective on our life. And we’re present for it.

7 Amazing Ways to Practice Gratitude

1. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you are grateful for each day.

2. Think of a simple thing to be grateful for. It could be something as simple as ice cream on a hot summer day. In your mind, say, ‘Thank you for..!’

3. Observe and be mindful as you go about your day of the small things or people in life that cheer you up, make you feel better, or your life easier.

4. Smile at someone and help make their day brighter

5. Contribute your time and efforts toward a cause you care about. Over time you’ll notice that the more you give, the more you also receive. Funny how life works sometimes..

6. Choose a symbol, like a bracelet, necklace or a small stone. Whenever you touch it, think of something that you are grateful for. In this way, it serves as a meditative reminder to you throughout the day — something to help ground you no matter what the day brings. '

7. Do something nice for someone you love. It can be big or small. Sometimes its the small things that bring great joy and happiness.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

3 Life Changing Poems That You Need to Read

Walk Slowly by Danna Faulds

It only takes a reminder to breathe,
a moment to be still, and just like that,
something in me settles, softens, makes
space for imperfection. The harsh voice
of judgment drops to a whisper and I
remember again that life isn't a relay
race; that we will all cross the finish
line; that waking up to life is what we
were born for. As many times as I
forget, catch myself charging forward
without even knowing where I'm going,
that many times I can make the choice
to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk
slowly into the mystery.

Let it Go by Danna Faulds

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold:
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations – Let it all go.
Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now will
only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts
to flee from the very energy you long for. Let go.
Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes
through your days whether you received it gently
or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith; the mind may never find the
explanations that it seeks, but you will move forward
nonetheless. Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry
you to unknown shores, beyond your wildest dreams
or destinations. Let it all go and find the place of
rest and peace, and certain transformation.

Allow (Danna Faulds)

There is no controlling life. 
Try corralling a lightning bolt, 
containing a tornado. Dam a 
stream and it will create a new 
channel. Resist, and the tide 
will sweep you off your feet. 
Allow, and grace will carry 
you to higher ground. The only 
safety lies in letting it all in – 
the wild and the weak; fear, 
fantasies, failures and success. 
When loss rips off the doors of 
the heart, or sadness veils your 
vision with despair, practice 
becomes simply bearing the truth. 
In the choice to let go of your 
known way of being, the whole 
world is revealed to your new eyes.  

If you enjoyed these poems, check out Dana’s books, including Go In and In: Poems From the Heart of Yoga, Limitless, From Root to Bloom, and Breath of Joy.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

27 Inspirational Quotes That Will Give You Hope and Strength During Hard Times

There are joys in life but there are also sorrows. Sometimes these sorrows are of the every day kind — sad, but survivable. Other sorrows affect us so profoundly, so significantly and indelibly that we instinctively know life will never be the same. We wonder how we can make it through another day.

I have been through such times. I have also walked with children, adults, and families through such times. That is how I know that hope can be found in even the most difficult seasons of life. At the most painful moments in our lives, when everything is peeled away and stripped bare, when it seems that nothing is left, I know that there is hope.

Even the smallest amount can make the greatest difference. Hope and resilience are what help us set goals and affect change, to persevere in the face of life challenges and thrive.

So no matter what you’re going through, know that you are not alone. You’ll get through this.

Below are 27 hope quotes to give you strength and inspiration during hard times.

1. Out of difficulties grow miracles.

   — Jean de la Bruyère

2. There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.
   — Pearl S. Buck

3. You are full of unshaped dreams. You are laden with beginnings…There is hope in you…
   — Lola Ridge

4. Whether you’ve seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.

   — Martha Beck

5. We must accept infinite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. 
   — Martin Luther King, Jr.

6. I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. 
   — Anne Frank

7. A lesson for all of us is that for every loss, there is victory, for every sadness, there is joy, and when you think you've lost everything, there is hope.
   — Geraldine Solon

8. There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.
   — J.R.R. Tolkien

9. Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.
   — George Weinberg

10. We always kept in our hearts the most noble, beautiful feeling that sets human beings apart: Hope.
    — Manel Loureiro

11. Hope. It’s like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It’s a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it’s the only thing in the world keeping me afloat.
    — Tahereh Mafi

12. Everything that is done in this world is done by hope.
    — Martin Luther

13. If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

    — Martin Luther King Jr.

14. There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.
    — Dalai Lama XIV

15. The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
    — Barbara Kingsolver

16. To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.
    — Howard Zinn

17. We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreperably broken.”
    — John Green

18. We can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them.

    —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

19. To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

    —Arundhati Roy, The Cost of Living

20. Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature—the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.

    ― Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

21. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

    ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

22. “There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. 
    " Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope.” 
    ― Alexandre Dumas

23. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.
    ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

24. “It's going to be all right, sir," Harry said over and over again, more worried by Dumbledore's silence than he had been by his weakened voice. "We're nearly there ... I can Apparate us both back ... don't worry ..."
    "I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.” 
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

25. to love life, to love it even
    when you have no stomach for it
    and everything you've held dear
    crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
    your throat filled with the silt of it.
    When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
    thickening the air, heavy as water
    more fit for gills than lungs;
    when grief weights you like your own flesh
    only more of it, an obesity of grief,
    you think, How can a body withstand this?
    Then you hold life like a face
    between your palms, a plain face,
    no charming smile, no violet eyes,
    and you say, yes, I will take you
    I will love you, again. 
    ― Ellen Bass

26. A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.
    ― C. JoyBell C.

27. To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
    ― G.K. Chesterton

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depression, stress, and anxiety psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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