I Want to Start Therapy: What Do I Need to Know?

I’m thinking of starting therapy, what do I need to know?

Starting therapy can be overwhelming. If it’s been something in the back of your mind for a while, you might feel yourself stalling, rather than getting a jump on the process, simply because there’s no clear path to know when or how to get started with therapy. 

How do you know it will be helpful? How do you find a therapist that’s right for you? What should you prepare for, in your first session? How much of therapy takes place in therapy, and how much work will you have to do outside of your one on one time?

These are common questions, and we want to help you feel informed and prepared. Below are five blogs you may find helpful as you embark on this new journey: 

• Finding a Psychologist: What to Consider

• 9 Commonly Asked Questions About The Therapeutic Process

• What Do I Need to Know Before my First Therapy Session?

• Healing through Relationships: Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters

• How to Make the Most of Your Time Between Sessions

What types of therapy exist?

Therapy is not one size fits all. There are many different modalities and approaches your therapist may specialize in, and the speciality or approach you need may depend on your specific circumstances. At Hope+Wellness we have many different therapists with many different specialities, some of which you can find an introduction to below: 

• What is Spiritually Integrated Therapy?

• What You Should Know About Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: 5 Things You Should Know About It

• What You Should Know About EMDR

• What You Should Know About Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

How can therapy support me?

Therapy can offer a wide array of support–whether it be navigating a current crisis, exploring your identity, working on your communication skills, strengthening your relationships, therapy can offer the space and tools you need. While it’s definitely not an inclusive list, below are five ways therapy can help support you:

• How Can Therapy Help Me Navigate Big Life Changes?

• How Therapy Can Help Entrepreneurs Thrive Instead of Survive

• How Can My Therapist Help with My Chronic Pain?

• IMPROVE the Moment: Coping with Distress with DBT

• Who Can Benefit from Inner Child Work?

How can I navigate difficult moments in therapy?

While therapy can be transformational and validating, it’s not always easy. It can even be difficult to address things with your therapist sometimes! If your therapist says something that hurts your feelings, or you find yourself dreading going to therapy, it’s not always a sign that things aren’t working for you–it may be a sign that some uncomfortable conversations need to be had. These blogs can help you prepare to navigate those situations, and recognize when they’re a sign of a larger problem: 

• I'm Dreading My Next Therapy Session, What Now

• 3 Tips for Telling Your Therapist They Upset You

Are you interested in therapy? Our clinicians at Hope+Wellness offer therapy in our office and online. We serve the McLean, Great Falls, Falls Church, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC regions, as well as offering online services in DC, MD, VA, and all PSYPACT states. If you would like to talk to one of our therapists, please contact info@hope-wellness.com.

How Therapy Can Help Entrepreneurs Thrive Instead of Survive

Entrepreneurship can feel like a thrilling adventure, but let's be honest—it can also be incredibly lonely, high-pressure, and exhausting. 

If you're a business owner, you're likely juggling an endless to-do list, constantly making decisions, and facing uncertainty on a daily basis. It’s a lot of pressure to have the livelihoods of people rest on your shoulders! Starting a business is a ton of work, any way you slice it. It can be hard for non business owners to relate to what you’re going through, so working on your own business can be a lonely prospect, even when you’re passionate about it. While the excitement of building something from the ground up is undeniable, the weight of that responsibility can take a toll on your mental health. This is where therapy can be a game-changer. 

Working with a therapist doesn’t just help you survive as an entrepreneur—it helps you thrive. 

As an entrepreneur, therapy can make a real difference in your business and personal life, while meeting you right where you are. Here’s how:

Improve Work-Life Balance 

Entrepreneurs often blur the lines between work and life, especially when starting a business. It can seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day when you’re running your own business, and it can be hard to know when to stop when you still have so much to do. Pouring everything you have into your business can come at a steep cost to your health and your relationships. 

Therapy can help you step back, re-evaluate how you're balancing your time, and find ways to create more joy, meaning, and fulfillment across all areas of your life. A therapist helps you ensure that you're thriving not just professionally but also personally.

Take Creative Risks and Develop Business Instincts

Being an entrepreneur often requires taking risks, and that can be terrifying. Therapy offers a safe space to explore the fears and insecurities that might hold you back from reaching your full creative potential. Working with a therapist can help you learn more about your strengths and help you tune in to your sense of intuition, so you can trust yourself more and take those big leaps with confidence in your business. 

Freedom from Anxiety, Stress, and Depression

The weight of entrepreneurship can sometimes lead to anxiety, depression, or burnout. Stress is often a daily experience when you’re running your own business. Working with a therapist can give you the tools to navigate the mental health challenges that often accompany running a business, helping you gain freedom from the constant stress and pressure. When you're feeling overwhelmed, a therapist helps you ground yourself and find ways to ease the emotional burden, while giving you a safe space to discuss what’s going on. 

Find Your Voice as a Leader

You are the driving force behind your business, but do you feel confident in your leadership? Therapy can help you discover and develop your unique voice as a leader. Whether it's practice making tough decisions, learning how to build a team, and developing your management skills, therapy helps you refine your communication skills and grow into the kind of leader that inspires trust and connection. 

Connect to Your Core Values

Many entrepreneurs struggle with staying true to themselves amid the demands of running a business. Therapy allows you to understand and connect with your core values, which can help you find your "true north" so you can make decisions from a place of authenticity. Exploring what’s truly important to you can be a powerful guide in both your personal and professional life, because knowing what you value helps you make decisions that feel more aligned with who you are. 

Build a Community

Building a business can feel isolating, but therapy can help you find and connect with your people—whether that's your clients, a supportive community, or a business network. A therapist can also teach you how to communicate in a way that maximizes your impact as a business owner, helping you build relationships that truly matter in and out of work. 

Redefine Failure and Keep a Growth Mindset

All entrepreneurs face failure—it’s inevitable when you’re starting something new, both in big and small ways. Remember that failure doesn’t have to be something that stops you in your tracks. Through therapy, you can reframe how you view setbacks, seeing them as opportunities for growth instead of evidence of your limitations. You can learn from your past without punishing yourself for it, which can help you grow. Maintaining a growth mindset helps you stay adaptable and open to change, no matter what challenges come your way.

Enhance Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Skills

Running a business isn’t just about strategy; it’s about people, but we don’t always have the people skills we need to do things effectively. Developing emotional intelligence through therapy improves your ability to connect, influence, and lead others. You’ll learn how to communicate with empathy and foster an environment where both you and your team can thrive. Therapy can also help you practice emotional regulation, which is essential for effective leaders. 

Practice Stillness and Intuition

In the hustle of entrepreneurship, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself and what you need. Working with a therapist can help you to develop practices of stillness and reflection, allowing you to tune into your intuition. When you cultivate this practice, you’ll notice how it strengthens your decision-making and keeps you grounded, even when the chaos of running a business threatens to overwhelm you. Therapy offers you a chance to learn how to create kind, compassionate space for yourself — and others, which is essential for successful businesses. 

Celebrate Strengths 

As an entrepreneur, it's easy to focus on what’s not working or where you feel inadequate. Our brains naturally focus on the negative, and it takes real practice to notice and celebrate the positive. Therapy offers you a safe place to acknowledge and celebrate your successes and strengths, and build upon them. 

Get Support That Fits Your Schedule

One of the challenges of being a business owner is finding time for everything, including self-care. That’s why online therapy is a perfect fit for entrepreneurs. You can meet with your therapist from anywhere—whether you’re at home, at your office, or even traveling for work. Scheduling therapy sessions around your busy life gives you the flexibility you need, without sacrificing the mental health support that can help you thrive, in your personal life and in your business.

Achieve Alignment in Life and Business

Therapy helps you align your life and your business in a way that feels sustainable and fulfilling. You’ll gain the self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and leadership abilities you need to navigate challenges, seize opportunities, and create a business that supports the life you want to live.

Your journey as a business owner is unique—and you deserve the support that empowers you to keep moving forward. If you’re looking for a safe place to explore everything that comes with being an entrepreneur, working with a therapist can help. Our clinicians are accepting new clients, so reach out to us today to begin. 

What Parents Should Know About Teen Depression: A Compassionate Guide for Supporting Your Teen

Knowing that your teen is depressed can be scary as a parent. 

It can feel like it goes against everything you labor for as a parent to see them struggle to get out of bed, or lose interest in their hobbies, or pull away from their friends. You’re watching them lose sleep, watching their grades drop, and you want to help but you don’t know how. 

It’s a hard place to be, and the first thing to know is that you’re not alone. This is something lots of other parents have to manage, and while it can feel overwhelming, there are things you can do to help. Try to remind yourself that depression is treatable, so your teen won’t have to feel trapped in these feelings forever. 

First, how do you know when it’s time to be concerned?

Sometimes, regular parts of being a teenager can be difficult for parents because it’s such a drastic change from what they’re used to. Teens pulling away, sharing less of their interests with their parents, and spending more time privately is not uncommon for most teens. Their gaining more independence and developing a stronger sense of self, so they don’t need their parents in the same way they did as a small child.

So how do you know when they’re pulling away from you to explore their independence, and when they’re pulling away from everything because they’re depressed?

Unpredictable moods that seem to emotionally impact them as well: 

It’s easy to feel like teens are having mood swings when they get annoyed with us as parents, but feeling annoyed with their parents now and again isn’t itself a sign of concern. If your teen seems to be overwhelmed by their own feelings, like they can’t control them and it’s creating distress for them, that’s a sign for concern.  

Changes in sleep:

It’s normal for teens to need a lot of sleep, so sleeping in a lot probably isn’t a sign of concern–especially considering how early teens have to wake up for school, and how much mental and physical energy is taken up by school and extracurriculars, it makes sense they’re making the most of their weekends as time to sleep in. But have their sleep patterns changed dramatically? Are they having trouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep? Are they more than tired–do they seem groggy or fatigued even hours after they’ve woken up? Do they seem tired all the time, but are also unable to sleep? Fatigue and sleep difficulty can be symptoms of something larger. 

Drop in academic performance: 

While it may not necessarily indicate that your teen is depressed, if they’ve typically had a steady academic performance and are suddenly struggling or their grades are high one day and low the next, that indicates that something is preventing them from being able to function at their typical level. Are they struggling with a teacher or a subject? Is something happening at school that’s making them unable to focus on their schoolwork? Whether it’s because they’re struggling with feelings of depression, or another reason, unpredictable changes in academic performance can signal they need support somewhere. 

How to help: 

Remember, while what you’re going through is frightening and difficult, so is what your teen is going through. They might be confused and overwhelmed, and even feel hopeless. They may not know how to explain what’s happening to them, and it might be hard for them to admit that they need help. Your teen might be thinking things like “I have no reason to feel this way,” or “my parents are going to be so upset with me for all the schoolwork I’ve missed,” or “no one else is struggling like this, I’m such a failure.”

Internalizing these feelings of shame and fear can make it hard for them to reach out, which is why they may not ask you for help directly. That’s why it’s important for parents to be proactive in noticing these signs and offering support in ways that feel safe and affirming for their teen. Here are some gentle methods to supporting your teen through this: 

When you start to talk about what they’re going through, keep the conversation focused on their experience: 

Instead of making the conversation about how much you’re worried about them, let them know you’ve noticed they haven’t been themselves lately. Let them know you want to be there to help them feel safe and supported as they figure out what they need to get back to a place they feel good in. Make space to listen to them and what they’re experiencing, and let them know that while all the burdens they’re shouldering right now are hard, there are ways to get treatment so they won’t feel that weight forever. 

It may feel challenging to support your teen when you feel frustrated and afraid for the way their depression has been affecting them. However, your support is invaluable. Try not to be judgmental or critical, but to remain calm and compassionate.

Remember you’re there to support their needs, not fix their problems: 

It may feel passive to listen and support. As a parent, you can see what they need to do and all you may want to do is problem solve and resolve their issues for them. It is natural to feel this way. However, increasing your control over their behavior and problem solving for them can come across as judgmental, controlling, or invalidating. Your teen will need to learn how to manage their feelings and problem solve on their own. Your guidance, relationship, and support are essential during this time.

Acknowledge when they do something supportive for themselves, not just what you’re concerned about: 

Depression can result from a lack of positive experience in the environment. With the pressures of high school and college admissions, this can particularly be the case. Try to notice when your teen is engaging in healthy, positive behaviors such as spending time with friends, or going on a walk to relax and unwind. Spend quality time with them and encourage them to engage in activities that will improve their activity and functioning, such as taking a run, walking the dog, spending time with friends, engaging in a hobby. 

Encourage these opportunities without criticism or judgment. It’s understandable that your teen may be doing less of these activities, as that is a sign of depression. Gently let them know you understand, validating their feelings, while encouraging them to continue engaging in life’s activities.

Getting Your Teen the Help They Need

Try to learn more about the signs and symptoms of depression. Speak with other parents and connect with resources available to you. This can help with understanding how best to support your teen, particularly if you have not experienced depression yourself. Some helpful resources include:

• Child Mind Institute - Childhood and Teen Depression

• Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression

• Mayo Clinic - Teen Depression

• Trevor Project: a crisis intervention service for LGBTQIA+ youth.

Therapy can be a great source of support and treatment for depression. In therapy, your teen will have a safe place where they can work through their feelings and learn skills that have been found helpful and effective in managing depression. Many studies in particular, have found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for the treatment of depression. The journey may be difficult, but with love and care, your teen can find their way back to a steadier, happier self.

Our team of therapists at Hope+Wellness can help your teen navigate life with depression, and support them as they find ways to thrive. Whether you’d prefer a virtual appointment or to come into one of our offices in Northern Virginia or D.C., our clinicians have experience supporting college students during this time of change and growth. Contact us today to get started. 

Understanding Your Attachment Style to Improve Your Relationships

Have you ever noticed patterns that keep coming up in your relationships with others?

If you have, you’re not alone. These patterns can often be traced back to what’s called your attachment style. Your attachment style is the way that you form relationships with the people closest to you, and it’s heavily influenced by the way you were treated by your caregivers growing up. 

Being in relationships with other people can sometimes bring up complicated feelings, and even lead us to behave in ways we don’t always understand. When we experience disconnection in our relationships, some of us might tend to pull away, while others might cling even harder to the other person. Some of us might do some combination of both. Often, these reactions aren’t something that we think about - they’re fairly automatic responses that we’ve been using since childhood.

When we talk about attachment, we often think about romantic relationships, but romantic relationships aren’t the only relationships where attachment styles come into play. The way we attach to others affects all aspects of our lives, from friendships to workplace dynamics, and even how we connect with family members. 

Understanding your attachment style more deeply can be a key to not only improving romantic partnerships, but also deepening your connection with family, friends, coworkers, and your community as a whole.

Where our attachment styles come from

Attachment theory was initially developed by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s. It explored the emotional connection between a child and their primary caregiver. Bowlby’s work, which was later expanded on by developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth, identified distinct patterns of attachment in children. These patterns are largely determined by how caregivers respond to the child’s needs for comfort and security.

Throughout childhood, the ways our caregivers respond to our emotional needs teach us what to expect from others. Emotional connection is actually a matter of life or death for us when we’re young. Think about it - without the help of a caregiver, babies wouldn’t be able to survive on their own. The care we receive as children influences how we perceive relationships as we grow up, and we carry these relational patterns into adulthood. 

If our caregivers were emotionally available and attuned when we were children, we are more likely to form secure attachments. On the other hand, inconsistent or emotionally distant caregiving can lead to developing an insecure attachment style. These patterns don't just stay within the confines of childhood—they influence how we form and maintain all kinds of relationships later in life.

What are the different attachment styles?

There are four main attachment styles that people develop in childhood: Secure Attachment, and then what are known as insecure attachment styles, which include Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, and Disorganized Attachment. 

Anxious Attachment

Anxiously attached individuals often worry about being abandoned or not being loved enough. This fear stems from inconsistent caregiving—perhaps you received comfort and attention from your caregivers some of the time, but at other times, it was unavailable. As a result, you might feel a heightened need for reassurance in relationships.

In adult relationships, this may manifest as needing constant validation from friends, partners, or even colleagues, with a persistent fear that relationships could fall apart. You might feel overly sensitive to any perceived rejection or distancing. This can be overwhelming to deal with, especially if your partner also has an insecure attachment style, and lead to wedges in your relationships, which is the opposite of what you crave. 

Avoidant Attachment

People with an avoidant attachment style tend to downplay their emotional needs and prefer to be independent. This attachment style is often a result of caregivers being emotionally unavailable or dismissive of your needs when you were growing up. 

In adult relationships, you may feel uncomfortable with intimacy or vulnerability. You might prefer to keep relationships at arm’s length. This can affect romantic relationships as well as friendships, making it hard to connect deeply. You might find yourself pulling away from others when emotional closeness is expected. If your partner also has an insecure attachment style, the ways they try to gain closeness might feel suffocating to you, which leads to you pulling away further, making the cycle worse. 

Disorganized Attachment

A disorganized attachment style is often the result of trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving that fluctuates between comfort and fear. Children with this attachment style learn that their caregivers are sources of both safety and harm, creating confusion and anxiety around connection.

In adult relationships, disorganized attachment can show up as chaotic or unpredictable relationship patterns. You may feel drawn to relationships but fear being hurt, leading to push-pull dynamics or difficulty trusting others. Often, the inconsistency can be confusing for other people you’re in relationships with, and lead to further disconnection. 

Secure Attachment

A secure attachment style develops when your caregivers were consistently responsive to your emotional needs when you were young. Because of this, you learned that relationships are safe, stable, and nurturing. 

In adult relationships, those with a secure attachment style tend to have healthier relationship dynamics. You likely feel comfortable being vulnerable, can trust others, and can navigate conflict with confidence. Having a secure attachment style can be a protective factor during times of relationship stress and conflict, because you trust that you will eventually return to safety together. 

How our attachment styles show up in our relationships

While we often think of attachment in the context of romantic partnerships, your attachment style can influence different relationships, including:

• Friendships: An anxiously attached person might worry excessively about whether their friends truly like them, while someone with an avoidant style might struggle to be fully present in intimate friendships.

• Workplace: In professional environments, someone with disorganized attachment may experience heightened stress around authority figures or struggle with trust and communication, while securely attached individuals are more likely to collaborate confidently.

• Family: For those with avoidant attachment, emotional distance might extend into family dynamics, leading to feelings of isolation or disconnect.

How can you determine which attachment style you tend to fall into?

Understanding which attachment style you tend to experience can help you recognize negative patterns and explain why you tend to react in certain ways when you feel disconnected in your relationships. Determining which attachment style you gravitate toward takes self reflection on your patterns from childhood to now. 

You can begin by:

• Reflecting on your childhood experiences: How did your caregivers respond when you needed comfort or support? Were they consistently available, or were their responses unpredictable? Did you feel like you could rely on your caregivers for safety?

• Noticing patterns in your relationships: Do you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from others? Or do you tend to pull away when people get too close? Do you find yourself in a confusing push-pull pattern? 

• Taking an online assessment: There are online quizzes and self-assessments that can help you identify your attachment style. Keep in mind that anyone can make an online quiz, though. An online assessment might be a good starting point before you begin working with a mental health professional.

• Working with a therapist: Therapy can be an excellent place to dive deeper into your attachment patterns and explore the impact they have on your adult relationships. A therapist can help you reflect on your childhood experiences as well as your adult relationships, and help you determine which attachment style you tend to experience. 

Attachment style isn’t fixed

One important thing to note is that your attachment style isn't set in stone. Your attachment style is a relational trait that can change over time, especially as you grow in self-awareness and experience new, healthier relationships. You might also experience a different attachment style in different relationships. You might experience anxious attachment with your romantic partner, and avoidant attachment with a family member, for example. 

Whichever attachment styles you experience, it’s never too late to work toward security, trust, and deeper connection. By understanding your attachment style, you can create more meaningful, fulfilling relationships in every area of your life, from romantic partners to lifelong friends. 

Are you looking for more support in your relationships? Working with a therapist can help you explore your relational patterns and understand your attachment style. Our clinicians have appointments available - contact us today to get started.

The Mental Health Benefits of Having Pets

Have you ever noticed that spending time with an animal can make you feel great?

Whether it’s the wagging tail of a dog greeting you when you come home, the soft purring of a cat curled up on your lap, or the calming sight of fish swimming in a tank, pets have an undeniable way of bringing joy into our lives, and that joy can make a big difference in your mental health. Pets offer us comfort and unconditional love, which can be protective in times when you’re struggling with your mental health. 

If you’ve ever wondered why so many people are drawn to pet ownership, it might surprise you just how much our furry (or scaly!) friends help improve our well-being, even if they’re a lot of work sometimes. Animals offer us far more than simply companionship - they become a part of our lives and our well-being, helping us to thrive mentally, emotionally, and even socially. 

Why We’re Drawn to Pets

Pets offer a deep sense of companionship, loyalty, and love. Animals don’t judge us or make us feel bad about ourselves; they simply love us. In a world that often feels overwhelming, pets provide an unwavering, safe source of affection and comfort. Taking care of a pet can remind us to take care of ourselves. After all - who’s going to take care of your beloved pet if you aren’t able to? Taking care of yourself helps you take care of your pet, and this can be helpful for those of us who feel stretched thin by responsibilities and expectations. 

The bond between humans and animals is truly unique, and the benefits of having a pet go beyond just companionship. Here are a few ways that having pets can benefit your mental health:

Manage stress

Studies have demonstrated that simply petting an animal can reduce stress. Stroking a cat’s fur or hugging a dog lowers your level of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, and promotes relaxation. Because of this, having a pet nearby can make stressful situations feel more manageable. 

In addition to lowering our stress hormone levels, pets offer us a reprieve from the stresses of daily life. Their presence provides an escape from our fast-paced world, encouraging us to slow down and live in the moment. Just watching your pet go about their day can be a soothing, calming experience.

Provide companionship

In moments of loneliness, having a pet by your side can make all the difference. Pets provide nonjudgmental companionship, offering unconditional love and support without any expectations. They are always there for us, whether we’re having a great day or a difficult one. 

For women who often juggle multiple roles—whether it's in the workplace, at home, or in relationships—having a pet can provide a sense of stability and comfort that feels grounding. The act of simply being in the presence of an animal has been shown to release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and reduces feelings of isolation.

Give us a routine

Caring for a pet adds structure to our day, giving us a sense of purpose and routine, which is especially helpful during periods of uncertainty. We tend to be creatures of habit, and having a routine can be protective for your mental health, especially when times are tough. Knowing that you need to take the dog out or give the cat his medicine adds structure and purpose to your day to day routine. Our pets’ routines can give us something positive to focus on, which can be calming.

Encourage physical activity

Moving your body can boost your mood, reduce anxiety, and even improve your energy levels.  Pets give us a perfect opportunity to engage in physical activity. This is especially true for pets that require lots of activity, like dogs. Pets keep us moving, whether we’re taking the dog for a walk, playing fetch, or chasing the cat around the house.. Physical activity has a profound impact on mental health, boosting mood, reducing anxiety, and improving overall energy levels. Even if you don’t have a dog, spending time with pets, playing, grooming, or caring for them, creates small but meaningful moments of movement and engagement.

Facilitate social connections

Pets help us connect with other people, which is essential to us as social animals. Think about it -  pets are great conversation starters! Whether it’s chatting with other dog owners at the park or striking up a conversation at the vet’s office, pets create opportunities for social interaction that we wouldn’t always get without them. Even for those of us who struggle with anxiety in social situations, pets can act as an icebreaker, making it easier to connect with others.

If you’re feeling isolated, particularly if you work from home or live alone, having a pet can fill that void. Surveys of pet owners have shown that people who own pets often feel a stronger sense of community and belonging, even if it’s just from connecting with fellow pet owners. Reducing loneliness and fostering a sense of inclusion and community can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. 

Help explore new interests

In addition to facilitating social connections, becoming a pet owner can introduce you to new hobbies and interests. Whether it’s learning about pet care, joining a community of pet lovers, or discovering a favorite walking route, pets open the door to new experiences that enrich our lives. Trying new things is powerful for our brains - it can help support our cognitive abilities, and be protective as we age, in addition to providing us with variety and fun. 

Encourage mindfulness and staying present

Animals live entirely in the present moment. Our pets can teach us to be more connected to the present rather than worrying about the future or stressing about the past. Pets don’t worry about what people think of them. They don’t care about your job or your love life, or that chore you’ve been avoiding. They just care about being with you, right now, which can be a helpful reminder to enjoy all of life’s moments, big or small. Pets encourage us to be more mindful of the here and now—something that can be incredibly healing for our mental health. Mindfulness is a powerful skill that can help with anxiety, depression, and even chronic pain relief. 

Show us unconditional love

There’s nothing like experiencing the unconditional love of a pet. We are the entire world to our beloved animals, and it’s clear to see when they’re delighted as you walk through the door, when they curl up next to you, or when they respond to your voice. Pets offer us unconditional love, even when we feel like we don’t deserve it, which can be especially powerful.

Give us a reason to keep going

Being a person is hard, and there are times when it’s tough to find a reason to keep going. Pets  can be a big source of comfort during tough times. Our pets give us a sense of stability in our lives, and can make us feel needed. Caring for pets can help us feel a sense of purpose that’s greater than ourselves, and that can make a big difference for people. After all, that’s why people are drawn to art, religion, and nature, to name a few. 

Pet ownership isn’t the only way to tend to your mental health, of course. Making time for regular self care, social connections, and working with a therapist are other ways to support your mental health. If you’d like to start working with a therapist, our clinicians are accepting appointments. Get started here.

IMPROVE the Moment: Coping with Distress with DBT

One of the hard truths in life is that no matter how much self care, healing, or therapy you go through, there are still always going to be things in our lives we can’t control, and sometimes those things are going to be painful. From large scale things we can’t change, like death or disease, to small scale things like disappointing others or feeling heartbreak, there will always be things out of the orbit of our control. 

That loss of control we experience can make us feel helpless, or anxious, or depressed, or even scared. It’s hard to come to terms with things we can’t control, and it takes a lot of practice. And without learning how to practice, sometimes it feels easier in the moment to find ways to numb or distract ourselves instead–usually because we don’t have the resources to navigate these feelings any other way! And while distraction or self numbing can ease suffering in the short term, they don’t offer us long term solutions, and can create new obstacles for us to overcome when we’re finally ready to access what we’re feeling. 

Within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) there’s something called distress tolerance skills. These skills, habits and practices are things we can learn within a supportive environment, and they can help us learn to tolerate and navigate through distress, rather than be taken over by it. 

One of these skills is the IMPROVE the moment skill.  

As you may have guessed, IMPROVE is an acronym, to help you remember the components of the skill which include:

I: imagery. 

Imagine yourself in a different situation than where you are now. Take yourself somewhere safe, calming, reassuring, and grounding. As you imagine yourself there, try to tap into what those safe feelings are. Are you breathing deeply? Are you grounded in your environment?

Another option for Imagery is to imagine the best outcome of the scenario you’re currently in. What is the best option here? How can you get yourself there? 

M: Meaning

It can be easier to cope with pain when you’re also able to find meaning in your situation. Are you spiritual? Can you find spiritual meaning in your experience? You may need to talk to your spiritual advisors or community to explore this. 

P: Prayer

Prayer can be incredibly helpful in times of crisis, and it doesn’t have to be religious nature. If you consider yourself spiritual, prayer is a way to connect with your spirituality by simply putting intention behind your words or rituals in an effort to connect with something outside of yourself. 

R: Relaxation. 

What can you do in moments of distress to help yourself relax? Can you practice breathwork or grounding exercises? Can you engage in a full body scan, checking in with each part of your body to see where it needs attention and care, or where you’re holding your tension? Can you go for a walk? Try to keep a list of effective relaxation methods for yourself, so that you can easily refer to it in moments of high stress. 

O: One Thing in the Moment. 

Distress often forces us out of the present moment, ruminating on past mistakes or feeling anxious about the future. When you make an effort to simply bring your attention to what you’re doing in the present moment, you can help reduce that distress and rumination. 

V: Vacation. 

Can you find a way to take some distance from this experience? You may not be able to actually take a vacation, but finding ways to give yourself intentional breaks is key when managing distress. Staying in the thick of a distressing moment can actually make it harder to navigate through–giving yourself time to destress can help you gain perspective, and feel more able to manage what you need to. 

E: Encouragement. 

What you say to yourself matters! When you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, try to notice how it makes you feel. Probably bad! When you take time to say nice things to yourself like, “this sucks but I can get through it” how do you feel? You don’t need to say something overly positive that you don’t believe–but even just giving yourself kudos for getting through a hard situation can be very powerful. 

Are you interested in DBT? Our clinicians at Hope+Wellness offer DBT therapy in our office and online. We serve the McLean, Great Falls, Falls Church, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC regions, as well as offering online services in DC, MD, VA, and all PSYPACT states. If you would like to talk to one of our therapists, please contact info@hope-wellness.com

Supporting Your Mental Health During Your Freshman Year of College

Starting your freshman year of college is an exciting time, and it can also be overwhelming. 

Going to college is a huge transition, even if it’s one you’re ready for. For many, it’s their first time living on their own and being in charge of their own time. The academic work is harder. You have to learn how to manage your time and meet your own needs in a way that might be new to you. You might be living in a new city where you don’t know anyone, or even how to get around. And all of these changes happen in a few short weeks!

Life transitions, like starting college, can make a big impact on your mental health.

Why are life transitions, like going to starting your freshman year of college, so hard?

Even though change is a reality of life, it’s still hard to go through. You can even be really excited about the change and still have a hard time adapting to it. That’s because our brains love routine. When we interrupt the routine that our brain knows, it feels uncomfortable. It takes time to establish a new routine that feels safe and comforting, the way your old one did. 

You’re probably going to feel like a totally different person in a few months once your first semester of college is over, because college is an intense experience. In addition to the academic side, the social side of college and tasting adult independence for the first time can make a big change in how you move through the world. You might gain confidence, understand yourself better, and feel more capable than you do right now. 

Of course, not every college freshman is 18 years old and brand new to adulthood. Even if your freshman year of college isn’t the first time you had a taste of independence as an adult, finding a school-life balance that works for you might take some trial and error. 

Finding the right ways to take care of your mental health as an adult takes some trial and error. If you’re working on supporting your mental health during your freshman year of college, here are some things to keep in mind to help you: 

Put yourself out there

While college is academic, the social experience of higher education is an important piece for many people. It can be intimidating to have to build up a whole new social circle out of thin air. The nice thing about going to college is that everyone is kind of in the same boat - most people don’t know each other. Most people are looking to make new friends and social connections to help them through the next few years of school, and maybe beyond. The first few weeks of college, there will be numerous opportunities for you to meet new people. Even if you’re not typically a super social person, making the most of those first few months at school and going to events that interest you can help you meet new people. You don’t have to go to every little thing, but try to pick a few groups or clubs that interest you, and start there. 

If you’re living on campus, go to the activities your dorm throws until you meet some people and can plan your own activities. Keep your door open when you’re able to so people can drop by in the first few weeks of school and you can get to know them. If you’re living off campus, it can be especially important to go to events to meet people because you don’t have the opportunity to meet people in the dorms.

Don’t overload yourself 

While it’s important to join groups or try new things in college, it’s also critical that you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Don’t take more classes than you can handle. Don’t join more groups than you can actually commit to. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. You’ll have time to do the things you want to do. You don’t have to do it all fall semester freshman year. 

Setting boundaries can be helpful when you’re working to not overwhelm yourself. Whether it’s with your roommate(s), your friends, study partners, coworkers, or family, it’s okay to let people know what you’re able to do and what you’re not available for. 

Remember that everyone is feeling the same pressure 

The first few weeks of college are weird and they go by really fast. Everyone is feeling the same pressure to make friends and figure out who they are on campus. You’re not the only one who is going through this intense experience, and you’re certainly not the only one struggling. It might be helpful to remind yourself that most people are probably feeling pretty vulnerable, even if you find them intimidating. Be compassionate with yourself as you navigate this major transition. 

Lean on your support system

Freshman year of college is one of the first times you can lean on your support system as an adult. We all need sources of support in our lives, and knowing who your support system is can help you in moments when you’re struggling with your mental health. Think ahead of time who you can call or text for help when you need a friendly shoulder to lean on. Maybe it’s friends from home, family, a therapist from home if you have one, a former coworker, a former teacher, a family friend, or a spiritual leader. 

Your support system can also include yourself, and things that you do for yourself. It might also feel comforting to lean on things that make you feel better when you’re overwhelmed, like hobbies that calm you down or self care activities that help you feel replenished. 

Utilize campus resources

One of the great things about most college campuses is that they have tons of resources for students. In addition to clubs and student organizations, your college might offer mental health support on campus, whether it's with a therapist in the student health center or with a peer support person. Look into what kind of resources your school offers before you get there so you have an idea of where you can turn to for help. Try to familiarize yourself with where they are and how you can get an appointment so that’s one less thing to do when you’re emotionally activated. 

Go back to basics 

Life transitions are tough on our mental health, and going back to the basics of self-care can be a buffer against distress during this time. Make sure to get enough sleep, even when there’s a million things to do. Get enough to eat, stay hydrated, and move your body if you can in a way that feels good to you. Take your meds if you have any. Get outside if the weather allows for it. 

Make time for creativity and mindfulness, even if it’s just doodling for a few minutes between classes. Establishing good self care habits as you transition to college can help you have a more positive experience. 

Think big picture

It can be shocking to get to college and struggle academically or socially (especially if you didn’t struggle that way in high school), and it can make you feel like you’re messing things up or that you’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Try to keep in mind that not everything you’re concerned about will end up being a big deal to you. 

It can be hard to talk yourself down when you’re in a panic over a bad grade or a big exam but try to think if this will matter in 5 minutes, 5 months, and 5 years. Most situations aren’t actually going to knock you off track even if they feel intense at the time. You can acknowledge that this is tough right now, in the moment, and recognize that it likely will not totally ruin your life in the big picture. 

Work with a therapist 

If you’re starting your freshman year of college (or any year of college), it’s important to have a good support system in place, and that can include a mental health provider. Working with a therapist as your college experience begins can help you adjust to the change while still taking care of your mental health. It can also you give you at least one hour that’s just focused on your wellness every week, which can be helpful. 

Our team of therapists at Hope+Wellness can help you with the major life transition of starting your freshman year of college. Whether you’d prefer a virtual appointment or to come into one of our offices in Northern Virginia or D.C., our clinicians have experience supporting college students during this time of change and growth. Contact us today to get started. 

What is Spiritually Integrated Therapy?

When you think of wellness, what do you think?

Do you think of the food you eat, or the movement you enjoy? You might think of taking your medicine, or tending to your stress before it overpowers you. Maybe you even consider the frequency with which you get outside amongst nature. 

Do you consider your spiritual wellness?

Spiritual wellness asks us to explore our beliefs, our values, and how we connect with and interact with the world we live in. It asks us to think deeper than the present moment, and find a larger meaning to pursue. Being spiritually well can mean feeling in alignment with your beliefs and actions, and aid in reducing feelings of depression, anxiety, listlessness, or an overall lack of purpose. 

To engage with spiritual wellness, you don’t have to be religious. While religion is one pathway to spirituality, it is not the only one! Spirituality is simply a sense of connectedness to something greater than yourself, and it means different things to different people. For some it might be connecting with a higher power, for others it might be connecting with their community. Others may find their spirit fulfilled in nature, or through music. 

Other ways spirituality can be present in your life can include: 

• Meditation

• Prayer

• Yoga 

• Community gatherings

• Volunteer work

• Journaling

The purpose of spirituality is to help you connect with and make sense of your world. It helps to guide your path, to figure out what your values are and how to act with them in mind. Basically, spirituality is how we make sense of the world and the time we’re given in it. 

The mind, body, spirit connection

It’s commonly accepted (and well researched) that our thoughts (mental wellness) and our bodies (physical wellness) are connected. When one ails, so does the other, and vice versa. The wellness we feel overall can’t simply be split between mental and physical wellness, because they’re so intertwined. This helps us understand our wellness as holistic–we can’t just pick a single spot to treat when we aren’t well. We’re whole, complicated beings, and we need to honor that in ourselves. 

The mind, body, spirit connection then helps us understand that this connection, this symbiotic relationship doesn’t only exist between what we think and what we experience in our bodies–but it also includes our spiritual wellness.
Feeling empowered, alive, and connected to the world you exist in is a key part of what spirituality provides us–and it’s also a cornerstone to mental health. In understanding this connection, we can find new ways to care for ourselves by caring for our spirituality. 

What is Spiritually Integrated Therapy?

Within Spiritually Integrated Therapy, your therapist will make use of your spiritual beliefs and incorporate them into your care. Rather than being rooted in a single expression of spirituality or religion, spiritually integrated therapy will draw on your connection to your spirituality, to work within your core values and beliefs to help facilitate your growth and healing.

Spiritually integrated therapy can help you: 

• Find and feel a sense of love and compassion toward yourself

• Explore your sense of meaning and purpose in life

• Connect more deeply to your beliefs and values to heal old wounds

• Depend on spirituality as a source of strength and comfort

• Make space in your life to connect to something larger than yourself 

At Hope+Wellness, we believe in the healing power connecting with your spirituality and its potential to enhance your mental health and well-being. By incorporating spirituality into your life, you can find balance, reduce stress, and foster a deeper connection with yourself and the world around you. If you’re seeking additional support or guidance, our therapists are here to help you navigate your path to wellness. Contact us today to get started with one of our clinicians. 

Getting To Know Your Inner Child

Do you interact with your inner child?

We all have an inner child within us. These younger versions of ourselves can be powerful tools in understanding and healing emotional wounds from the past, which can help you feel safer and more confident in the present.  

Learning how to listen to your inner child isn’t a skill we often learn growing up, and it might seem a little strange at first. But the more you learn to tune into what this younger self wants, the easier it will be to recognize the times when your inner child needs support. For example, in moments when you find yourself reacting strongly to something minor, or feeling inexplicable sadness, your inner child might be trying to communicate with you.

What Is Your Inner Child?

Your inner child is the part of you that holds the experiences, emotions, and memories from your childhood. This mental version of yourself represents the little person you used to be—full of wonder, joy, hopes, secrets, fears, and insecurities. Your inner child carries with them both the joyful memories of childhood play and exploration, as well any pain and trauma of unmet needs, rejection, neglect, or abuse. 

As we get older, our inner child stays with us, and this younger version of ourselves can influence the way we respond to things in adulthood. Connecting with your inner child is about recognizing and honoring this younger you, as well as understanding what they need, and helping them to heal old wounds. 

Why does childhood stuff matter when we’re adults?

Childhood is a hugely significant time, where we develop, among other things, our sense of self, our beliefs about the world, and how we relate to others. We have needs as children, and it can be a matter of life or death when we don’t get our needs met as kids. In addition to our physical needs as small humans, we have emotional and relational needs when we’re young, like knowing that we’re loved and valued, that we’re safe, and that we’re good enough. 

When our childhood needs aren’t met—whether due to neglect, abuse, trauma, or even just well-intentioned but misguided parenting—we can carry these wounds into adulthood and they impact how we respond to things. 

These unresolved wounds from childhood often show up in what we believe about ourselves: that we’re not good enough, that love is conditional, or that the world is a dangerous place. These beliefs can play a role in many areas of our lives, from our careers to our romantic relationships, often in ways we’re not even consciously aware of.

Signs that inner child work can help you

We all have an inner child, so most people can benefit from inner child work or inner child therapy at some point. That being said, these are some signs that inner child work might be a good idea for you: 

• You find yourself stuck in repetitive emotional cycles—like feeling abandoned, unloved, or overly defensive—and don’t like the patterns you’re seeing

• You struggle with feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, or constant self-criticism 

• You have trouble forming or maintaining healthy relationships with others

• You struggle with deep-seated anxiety or fears that feel overwhelming or difficult to understand

All of these can be signs that your inner child needs your attention. 

Benefits of inner child work

If you’re not in the habit of listening to your inner child, you might be wondering what the benefits are of beginning this type of work. After all, digging into old wounds and traumas can be dysregulating. If you’re going to go through the emotional rollercoaster of bonding with your inner child, you want to know that it can actually help you. 

Inner child work can help you: 

• Heal old wounds and move forward from trauma by reparenting yourself with compassion

• Build resilience and navigate your life with more ease and confidence

• Learn to trust yourself, especially with the parts of you that have been hurt or neglected

• Increase self-awareness and learn how to meet your own needs kindly 

• Develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships that aren’t driven by past wounds

When inner child work is triggering

Inner child work can bring up painful memories and emotions, which can feel overwhelming at times. If you find yourself triggered, make sure to pause and breathe deeply to ground yourself in the present moment. 

Be compassionate with yourself when you're emotionally activated. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions when you’re unpacking serious topics like childhood wounds. Working with a therapist who is trained in modalities like Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and who has experience guiding inner child work can help you move through this process safely. 

How to get to know your inner child

Getting to know your inner child is a journey of self-discovery and healing. It’s about honoring the child within you, understanding their needs, and providing the care they’ve longed for. While the process can be challenging, the rewards—greater self-awareness, emotional freedom, and a more fulfilling life—are well worth the effort. Here’s how you can start: 

Practice self-reflection

The first step to getting to know your inner child is to start to notice it, and the best way to do that is to spend time reflecting. Take time to sit quietly and reflect on your childhood. What memories come up? What do you remember struggling with back then? What emotions are present? What physical sensations do you experience? What do you wish you could tell your younger self? What did you need as a child that you didn’t receive? 

Questions like these can give you insight into the needs and wounds of your inner child so you can start to anticipate when they’ll need extra support. If you know that your inner child has a deep fear of abandonment, you can start to anticipate emotional reactions from your inner child when this abandonment wound is activated. 

Keep an inner child journal

Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you connect with your inner child’s needs. 

You can use your journal as a place to validate and prioritize this younger version of yourself. You can journal like you’re writing as your younger self, or like you’re writing to your younger self, whichever feels better for you. It may even be helpful to record your observations from your self reflection in this journal so you can refer back to it. 

Try to use writing implements you liked when you were a kid when you use your journal. Maybe you’ll write in sparkly gel pen, or crayon, or even draw pictures to help illustrate things. 

Make time for play

Play is how we learn when we’re young, and it’s essential for our developmental well-being. You can utilize play as a way to get closer to your younger self and meet their needs. Your inner child thrives in moments of play and creativity. 

If you’re wondering where to start with play, think about the things that you enjoyed as a child.  Maybe you liked drawing, or dancing, or playing with toys. Maybe you were into playing sports. Maybe you always had your nose in a book. Whatever it is that used to bring you joy, start there to reconnect with your inner child’s joy and needs.

Keep the lines of communication open

Make it a habit to talk to your inner child regularly. Imagine speaking directly to your little self. What do they want to say? What do they need from you now? This dialogue can be incredibly healing.

When your younger self is no longer screaming for your attention, does anything shift for you? Keeping the lines of communication open with the younger versions of yourself can help you establish trust in yourself - that you won’t abandon yourself, even when it gets messy.  

If you’re interested in inner child work and need support, our therapists can help. Get in touch with us today to schedule an appointment!

5 Tips to Connect with Your Child Using Love Languages

Have you ever heard of Love Languages?

The idea was developed by Gary Chapman in response to several unhappy marriages (including his own) within his church’s congregation. Chapman’s five love languages include words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service, and the idea is that each person has one love language that means more to them when it comes to expressing and receiving affection. 

While love languages aren’t an exact science–it’s perfectly common for people to feel that multiple love languages resonate with them–they are a useful tool in remembering the intention that has to inform our most significant relationships. It can also help give some perspective when we feel people in our life are not valuing us or showing affection–perhaps they express love in a way different to yours, and they have been doing their best to show it consistently. 

In parenting, the idea of love languages can also be helpful in finding meaningful ways to connect with your child. 

By noticing how your child likes to express their affection toward friends, family, pets, and other loved ones, you can find meaningful ways to make sure your child feels seen and loved, which is crucial for them to develop a secure attachment style. Here are some ways you can tell which “love language” styles are the most meaningful & comforting for your child: 

Words of Affirmation: 

How it shows up in them: 

• Beaming when you tell them they’ve done a good job

• Giving lots of compliments to friends/family/loved ones  

• Repeating praise given to them over and over 

Ways you can engage with it:

• Put a note in their coat pocket/backpack/lunchbox 

• Tell them how much you love them at bed time/when you wake them up

• Tell them how much you missed them when greeting them 

• When they’ve done poorly/get a bad grade/etc, tell them how proud you are of them for trying 

Physical touch: 

How it shows up in them: 

• Greeting you with a hug

• Frequently asking to cuddle 

• Wanting to high five 

• Holding your hand/arm/leg/etc.

• Playing with your hair when sitting next to you

• Staying very close in your space 

Ways you can engage with it:

• Greet them with a hug! 

• Play with their hair 

• Ask them to snuggle up with you 

• Lay down next to them at the start of nap/bedtime 

• Rub their back when they’re upset

• Games like “this little piggy”, twister, piggyback rides 

• Make up a handshake with them

Receiving gifts: 

How it shows up in them: 

• Often making crafts, drawings, cards, etc. for others 

• Difficulty throwing away things given to them by others 

• Wanting to pick out “something special” for others or surprise them with a treat 

• Getting excited when you give them 

• Giving you handmade items 

Ways you can engage with it:

• Add a treat in their lunchbox now and then

• Have them help you pick gifts out for siblings/loved ones/etc

• Send them something in the mail 

• Give them something handmade 

• Tailor their gifts to their interests 

Quality time: 

How it shows up in them: 

• “Hey, watch this!”

• “Come here, I want to show you something!” 

• Wanting a friend to ride home on their bus 

• Wanting to go with you when you leave the house

• Always asking “what are you doing?” 

Ways you can engage with it:

• Bringing your child with you while you run errands

• Set aside time to play with them however they want 

• Journal together 

• Stop what you’re doing to talk to them when they get home 

• Read to/with them 

Acts of Service: 

How it shows up in them: 

• Asking you to tie their shoes

• Trying to help when you’re doing chores 

• Leaving water for the mailman when it’s hot 

• Helping their friend during a game 

• Helping a classmate with schoolwork 

Ways you can engage with it:

• Carrying them to bed/tucking them in

• Waking them up in the morning with breakfast 

• Brushing/doing their hair 

• Checking out library books for them

• Sitting down with them while they do homework

• Making their favorite meal

• Helping them practice for a sports game/music recital/etc.

Of course, a good mix of all of these love languages is best for your child’s relationship with you and developing secure attachment within relationships. Instead of picking one language with which to express your love to your child, pepper in their less used languages as well. And be sure to recognize when they are using these different methods to show love to you, and let them know it’s been lovingly received.

Are you looking for more support with parenting? Working with a therapist on parenting concerns can help you find more ways to cope and build your confidence as a parent. Get in touch with our office today to get started.