End of the Year Toolkit: 9 Blogs to Help You Make It to January

We’re in the final stretch of 2023. But the end of the year rush can be some of the most stressful few weeks of the season. While it can be a time of togetherness and generosity, it’s also a time that requires more from us, socially, financially, and emotionally. 

This is our end of the year tool-kit; all of the blogs we’ve written that can help get you through the last few weeks. 

To help get ready for family gatherings:

Family parties and traditions can be some of our favorite moments of the holiday season, but that doesn’t mean they come without their own set of worries. Because holiday events are often big parties, you’re likely to be in close quarters with not just the family and loved ones you’re close to, but some you have some rocky relationships with as well. 

Taking a little time to prepare for those encounters can help reduce your anxiety about them overall, and allow you to focus on what you can control. You can find ways to both care for yourself and your needs, and make time to be with those you care about. 

Read: How to Gently Set Boundaries With Your Family or: 5 Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety at Holiday Gatherings

To help manage seasonal depression: 

Winter is a tough time for a lot of us. The days are shorter and colder, we don’t want to be outside as much, and with the darkness falling so early in the day, it’s normal for us all to slow down a bit during winter. 

But when does it go from slowing down in a slower season to something to be concerned about? 

Read: 4 Signs That Your Funk Could Be the Result of Depression or: Self Care for Days You Can't Get Out of Bed

Give yourself the gift of self kindness this season:

Because we can be under so much stress in the final crunch of the year, and we’re often faced with awkward conversations with people we only see once a year at holiday parties, it can be easy to fall into self criticism during the holidays. 

Taking time to build in some body neutral practices and preparing yourself to slow down can help you offset that slide into criticism. 

Read: Keeping Peace with Your Body During the Holiday Season and: 4 Ways to Accept a Slower Pace in the Winter Season

To get ready for the new year: 

Whether you’re a new year, new start kind of person, or someone just looking to get to January so the holiday season will be wrapping up, we’ve got something for you! And, as the COVID rates are surging again, it never hurts to revisit old boundaries for managing your health. Use the new year as an excuse to reaffirm them. 

Read: 4 Ways to Deal with New Year Overwhelm or: 8 Ways to Upgrade Your Self-Care Routine in the New Year and Managing Covid Anxiety in the New Year

Remember, the holiday season doesn’t last forever, even though it seems endless when you’re dreading it. If you’re struggling with social anxiety this holiday season, working with a therapist can help. Contact our office today to make an appointment!

4 Best Practices for Fact Checking #InstaTherapy Content

Mental health is a popular topic on social media. 

And because mental health care can often be inaccessible for a number of reasons (finances, insurance barriers, location, family/community culture, etc.) that can be a great thing–talking about mental health openly can help to destigmatize the need for care, and to normalize the idea that we all have things to work on. 

But there are a few dangers to relying on social media exclusively for mental health care:

1. You don’t get the full therapy experience, which needs a relationship in which to provide space for healing

2. There’s no factual requirement for posting on social media–meaning the mental health information you’re getting, might not be accurate. 

That doesn’t mean there’s no good information out there on social media–Hope+Wellness is on Instagram where we share bite sized posts from topics we’ve covered on the blog, and we follow plenty of other mental health professionals on that platform who are doing great work! It just means you need to have a bit of care when taking in content related to mental health. 

So what can you do to vet how reliable a mental health resource is on social media?

First ask: Who is the source of this information? 

What are their qualifications? Are they a licensed provider? Are they actively practicing? Is their license bound to any sort of ethics board?

Qualified resources will have their credentials listed publicly. Their qualifications/license type should be either: 

1. Listed in their account bio 

2. Stated clearly on the website linked in their account bio

If you can’t find credentials listed in their account bio, click over to their website to check the home and about pages. Credentials should be easy to find and where you expect them to be–if they are hidden away somewhere that you have to dig for, that’s a warning sign. 

Next: Is what they’re sharing within their scope of practice?

What sort of mental health professional are they? What is their area of expertise and scope of practice? Is the information they are sharing within that scope–or is it unrelated to what they are professionally qualified for? 

For example, mental health professionals shouldn’t be giving the advice of a primary care doctor and vice versa. 

Qualified mental health care professionals should also be making it clear on their profiles that their online presence is intended as therapeutic education, not a replacement for the treatment they offer or a method of seeking diagnosis.  

Check the comments:

While this isn’t always helpful, it’s good to do a quick glance through comments of popular mental health content on social media. If others in the industry are disputing the information in the comments, that’s a good sign to proceed with caution; look up what’s being shared and read more information on it from reputable sources. 

Check in: do they get specific about clients?

Talking about common concerns from the general clients or population they see is one thing–that can be helpful in destigmatizing care or addressing misconceptions, etc. But no mental health professional should be describing their client cases or bragging about their client successes as a way to prove their legitimacy. 

If you’re questioning how specific they are, consider if the person they were talking about found the content; would they be able to identify themselves as the subject of the content? If so–it’s too specific, and actually a HIPAA violation. That’s a big red warning sign that they aren’t considering how their ethical practices need to be translated to social media! 

Keep these best practices in mind when engaging with mental health content on social media: 

• Be selective with who you follow: take your time to check their credentials and make sure they’re creating content within the scope of their practice

• Consider each post on it’s own–don’t just assume something is factual because it’s from a source you followed 

• Use information shared as a jumping off point; go further with resources they provide or begin to look into the topic from other reputable and reliable sources 

• Bring up anything you’re unsure about with your therapist! 

If you’re looking for support in the process of finding a therapist, contact us and we can help personally match you to a therapist based on your needs. 

What Does it Mean to Take Care of Yourself? 7 Blogs to Help You Practice

What does it mean to take care of yourself?

Is self care about making your life as easy as possible? Is it about making sure you’re always happy? Does it mean that every off feeling we have can be solved with a quick little treat? 

At this point, I think we all know self care is a little more complex than that! True self care isn’t about avoiding difficult situations or banishing “negative” feelings; it’s about making sure you’re doing what you can to provide yourself with the tools and skills you need to manage those hard moments and tricky feelings when they come up. Self care is about noticing what needs tending to, and finding appropriate, compassionate ways to tend to them. 

That’s, of course, much easier said than done. Self care requires a lot of skills we aren’t necessarily taught, and it asks us to patient and compassionate with ourselves and others as we develop those skills. Some of them are easier than others; it’s easier to get yourself to stretch or go for a walk when you feel your body to start to ache than it is to figure out how to express an unpleasant emotion to someone you care about. 

To help you practice, we’ve gathered 7 of our favorite posts that cover skills you may not even realize are self care practices: 

Do you struggle to motivate yourself to do boring life tasks?

Getting started is often the hardest part, especially when the task itself is so massive it feels like even if you start you’ll never finish.  When you tell yourself “I don’t have to finish the dishes, I just have to start them” you’re easing that pressure. Chances are? You’ll realize doing the dishes isn’t actually that bad and you’ll just finish them. And if not? Then some of your dishes are clean now when they weren’t before! 

Read How to Motivate Yourself to Do Boring Life Tasks. 

When you think of self care practices, do you ever consider your social media? 

For every positive aspect of social media, there’s an equal and opposite negative action. Yes you’re able to keep up with friends, but do you remember that their lives aren’t as perfectly curated or posed as they seem on social media? Do you forget to check in with loved ones because seeing a facebook update makes you feel like you’ve already caught up? Do you get stressed from the information overload that can come with mindless social media scrolling?

Read How to Stop Social Media from Making You Feel Bad About Yourself. 

Waking up with a ball of anxiety in your stomach every morning is not ideal.

It can leave you feeling like you don’t even want to get out of bed. That’s why it’s helpful to establish habits that you can use every day to carry you through on the days when your anxiety is spiraling out of control. It can be almost impossible to snap yourself out of an anxious spiral, especially without practice. That’s why it’s important to find anxiety-relieving methods that work for you and then practice them until they’re second nature to you. That way, the next time you’re feeling anxious and out of control, you have something to reach for to soothe yourself. 

Read Daily Habits to Help Manage Anxiety in a Healthy Way

Telling someone you’re upset by something they’ve done takes a lot of courage.

It can feel like a risk–like they could be mad or upset or maybe even react unpredictably. It’s important to remember that while their feelings matter, you can’t control them and it’s not your job to prevent them from experiencing unpleasant emotions. It’s only your job to be honest about how you’re feeling and stick around to work through it if that brings up unpleasant emotions. 

Read How to Tell Someone They've Hurt Your Feelings

How do you react when you feel angry?

For a lot of people, anger is a confusing emotion. Everyone feels anger, of course, but we often aren’t taught how to deal with anger in a healthy way when we are young. It can feel like the only way to respond to anger is through yelling or violence, but that’s a myth that stems from our anger-phobic culture. 

Read 6 Safe Ways to Express Anger. 

How does comparison harm us?

Most obviously, comparison usually makes us feel inadequate. Particularly when we’re comparing ourselves to a carefully curated version of someone else's life (like their instagram feed). We see amazing or exciting things people are sharing, and if we’re not in the middle of something amazing or exciting ourselves, it can make us feel like we fall short. 

But it isn’t just us that it harms. Too much comparison can also be damaging to your relationships. When you’re constantly putting yourself up against someone else–out of either admiration or jealousy–you’re not seeing the other person as a full person. You’re only seeing the one thing that is provoking an emotional reaction out of you (a picture of their vacation, a post about their promotion, etc.) It can lead to jealousy, even resentment in your relationship.

Read How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. 

Do you know how emotions feel in your body? 

Emotions aren’t only felt in the mind. Our bodies react to our environments just like our brains do, and it can be helpful to connect emotions with body sensations so we can better understand what’s going on within us. 

Read Learning How to Connect Emotions and Body Sensations.

Learning to care for yourself is a process and it can feel hard to do it alone. Working with a therapist can help teach you new ways to explore what your needs are and find healthy, supportive ways to tend to them. Get in touch with our office today to get started with one of our expert clinicians. 

6 Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion

6 Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion

The way that you treat yourself matters. Have you ever noticed the way that you talk to yourself? There are lots of reasons why we’re harder on ourselves than on anyone else. Some folks experienced abuse growing up that taught them not to expect any compassion. Others had caregivers who weren’t nurturing or who constantly criticized them. We hear a lot about self-love, especially in therapy spaces, but self-love isn’t always within reach for people. Starting with self-compassion can be a great way to build up your resilience and confidence. 

What is self-compassion?

Simply put, self-compassion is being nice to yourself. The idea of self-compassion is drawn from Buddhism. Being kind to yourself might sound really simplistic, but it can be a lot harder than it sounds. Many of us have a voice in our heads that chimes in when we mess up. That voice is called the Inner Critic, and it can be hard to notice it sometimes. There are times when we’re so immersed in beating ourselves up that we don’t even consider that there’s another option. However, there is always another option. Being kind, gentle, and understanding to yourself is always a choice you can make, it just takes practice to remember that that’s an option. 

Think about it: when someone has tried to motivate you by being mean to you, did that ever work? Probably not, right? It’s hard to get people to listen to you and respect you if you’re being a jerk all the time. The same is true for your brain! If you’re constantly being mean to yourself, eventually your brain will internalize the message that there is something wrong with you. You might even get to a place where you don’t want to try anything because you're sure you’ll mess it up somehow. If this is how you’re feeling, know that there is hope. Just as you learned to be unkind to yourself, you can learn how to be kind to yourself instead. It takes practice, and it won’t happen overnight, but you can begin to change your internal narrative that you’re not good enough. 

Here are some exercises you can to do cultivate more self-compassion:

Write down what your Inner Critic says

Sometimes we don’t even realize all the negative stuff our Inner Critic is saying. A great way to start to build up your self-compassion is to start to keep track of what your Inner Critic is saying. When you know what your Inner Critic is up to, you can focus on correcting those assumptions and silencing that voice in your head. Keep a note in your phone or a page in your journal where you write down what you say to yourself. Try to keep track for a few days so you can start to see patterns in your thinking. What are the common themes that you struggle with? How can you rewrite what your critic says in a more compassionate way? 

Write a letter to yourself

Writing can help us get in touch with our feelings and lessen the sense of shame we feel for our feelings. From a place of kindness and compassion, write yourself a letter. If it helps, imagine you’re writing to a younger version of yourself. What would you want them to know? Are there things you’re ashamed of or that you judge yourself for? Try to get it all out on the page. Sometimes the physical act of writing can help us begin to process our feelings and identify patterns in our thinking. 

Pretend you’re talking to your BFF

If you talked to your best friend the way you talk to yourself, they probably wouldn’t be your friend anymore. So why do you talk to yourself like that? Try to approach yourself with the same sense of compassion and gentleness that you would use with your friends. You deserve to be treated with respect, even from yourself. 

Forgive yourself

Is there something that you need to forgive yourself for? Holding on to this feeling of guilt and shame will only make you feel worse over time. Take a look at what is bringing those feelings up for you. Remind yourself that you were doing the best you could at the time. If there are things that you could have done differently, acknowledge that and remind yourself that you’re capable of changing. It might help to write this down in a journal so you can revisit it when that old shame pops it’s head up again. You are worthy of your own forgiveness. 

Remind yourself that perfection doesn’t exist

Perfectionism can distort our thinking. The idea that we have to do everything perfectly or not at all is destructive. You don’t have to be perfect, and that’s not a reasonable expectation to have of yourself. If your caregivers in the past demanded perfection, remind yourself that that’s not the only way. Holding yourself to impossible standards is a recipe for resentment, burnout, and shame. You are good enough just as you are right now. 

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness teaches us to connect with the present moment. When you’re in the middle of a self-shame spiral, it can be a game-changer to gently remind yourself to slow down, take some deep breaths, and focus on the present. Notice your thoughts without judging them. A mindfulness practice is a great way to practice not judging yourself. If you start to slip into judgment mode, gently let those thoughts pass. Remind yourself that you don't have to be perfect. 

Do things that bring you joy

You deserve to feel joy, and sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. Make time (as in, put it on your schedule) for doing things that bring you joy. Feeling joy + motivation can let you see yourself in a whole new light. Also, doing things you enjoy can be confidence-boosting - with practice you’ll eventually improve, and being good at something can be a powerful feeling. Even just the act of trying new things can make you feel happy, no matter what your skill level is. 

Being kind to yourself sounds simplistic, but it can be really tricky to break the habit of being mean to yourself. Cultivating self-compassion is something that takes time and effort. If you’re looking for guidance and support as you work on your self-compassion, a therapist can help you on this journey.

Our clinicians are trained in evidence-based treatments that can help change the way you treat yourself. Get in touch today to book a session!

3 Things Your Inner Child Needs to Hear from You

What is an inner child?

Have you heard the phrase inner child before? Do you know what it is? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like! It’s the childhood versions of yourself that you carry with you now. Think about it: as you age you don’t lose those past selves. When you turn eleven, your ten year old self doesn’t stop existing. She’s just now tucked away in the heart of your eleven year old self! 

But what does that really mean?

It means that while yes, we may be adults now, sometimes it is not our adult self reacting to what’s happening to us, but the hurt child inside of us. When you feel like you’re “overreacting” or “being crazy” what’s most likely happening is that an old wound from childhood, which never really healed, was activated again. And while your adult self may know logically, you are going to be okay and you don’t need to “freak out” that freak out you’re feeling is your inner child trying to get your attention. They’re shouting “hey! Something’s wrong! Help me!” 

Now, this doesn’t mean that every time you’re upset you should think “this is no big deal it’s just the little kid in me freaking out.” In fact the opposite! Minimizing it as just a childlike meltdown won’t help you–it will just brush the problem aside until it comes up again. And it will come up again until the wound is tended to, as you’ve already seen! 

Instead, imagine you are standing next to your inner child.

Picture your younger self, at eight years old, at ten, at twelve, etc. Whatever age it is that needs your attention. Think about the hurt they are feeling. Maybe even imagine you’re asking them. Ask them, “what’s wrong? What are you feeling?” 

You can have this conversation out loud yourself, or in your head, or in a journal if you find that’s helpful. The most important thing in the process is to show your inner child the kindness and patience you may not have gotten.

If you don’t know where to start, here are 3 things inner child needs to hear from you to facilitate that healing: 

I’m glad you’re here.

If you’re carrying around unhealed wounds from childhood, it’s likely you weren’t made to feel safe enough to ask for help. You might have been made to feel like a burden, which may have made it hard or even impossible for you to call attention to yourself when you needed an adult to step up and help you. That inner child inside you–even if they are just “talking” to you–may still have this fear. Welcome them, tell them you’re glad they are there–and you’re glad they shouted loud enough for you to hear them. You are happy to see them, and you want to help. 

It’s not fair that you feel this way. Or: It’s not fair that that happened to you. 

While you can make space to listen to your inner child, you can’t go back in time and fix whatever hurt them. This can feel painful to realize–for your adult self and your inner child. You can't fix the hurt! That’s natural. But sometimes all we can do, even for ourselves is to acknowledge the hurt.  You know as an adult that the way you were treated as a child wasn’t right, but that child in you still doesn’t know. They still think it’s how they deserve to be treated, or that it’s their fault. Letting them know it’s not your fault and it’s not fair can be an incredibly powerful way to start that healing. 

I’m proud of you for surviving. 

Many of us develop habits in childhood that help us survive our environments–both physically and emotionally. However, some of these habits can be things like protecting your feelings, avoiding vulnerability, trying to predict others feelings or actions, etc. All of these things can help protect a child in an emotionally volatile environment where they are punished for needing support. But as we age, those tools no longer serve us, and what was crucial for survival once now can get in the way of growth and happiness. Instead of resenting the child in you for developing these habits, let them know you’re proud of them for doing what they needed to do to survive. Let them know you understand their hesitation, but that it’s safe now and you’re there to help them drop those habits as they heal. 

Talking to your inner child isn’t the only way to work on healing! You can take some time to think about things you liked as a child, what brought you joy and made you feel safe, and incorporate those into your life now to show that inner child they are welcome and safe. You can choose to do things that seem silly because you know they will help feed that inner child. Go rollerskating, paint with your fingers, make some playdough! Your inner child will thank you.  

If you’re looking to go deeper into your inner child work, our therapists can help support you. Get in touch with us today to schedule an appointment!

4 Ways to Support Someone Struggling With Infertility

Sometimes, someone we love is going through something we have no experience with, but we still want to support them. That’s part of having relationships with people, romantic or otherwise - they’re built on care and mutual support. That’s why it’s so frustrating when someone is experiencing something that we can’t really help with, like losing a loved one, the end of a partnership, or even struggling with infertility. 

We still have a lot of cultural taboos in the United States, and talking about mental health, especially when it comes to the mental health of folks who can get pregnant, is difficult for many. Part of why it’s so hard to talk about pregnancy loss and infertility is because it’s still dismissed and not talked about openly.  We also tend to think that carrying a child to term is an easy, commonplace thing, but for some people, it just isn’t possible. As a society, however, we usually expect folks struggling with infertility to keep it to themselves. If someone you know has confided in you about infertility, that is a very big deal - that means they trust you enough to react appropriately and support them. 

The reasons that people experience infertility aren’t always understood, which can make the experience even more devastating. Some of the factors thought to be involved are genetic defects, viral or bacterial infections, hormone imbalances, and autoimmune disorders. However, much of the time there isn’t an easy answer as to why the person is struggling to conceive. 

It’s natural to want to support the people you care about, so if you know someone who is struggling with infertility, you’re probably looking for a way to genuinely help. Here are some ways to support someone experiencing infertility: 

Practice holding space

A lot of times our instinct is to help and protect the people we love, especially when they’re hurting. However, sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there and hold space for the emotions they’re going through. “Holding space” means being physically, mentally, and emotionally present for someone. It means putting your focus on someone to support them as they feel their feelings instead of focusing on your own. 

Don’t ask, “Have you tried x?”

They have probably been working closely with their physician to figure this out - while asking “Have you tried X?” might seem helpful, it’s just unnecessary. Assume that they know their body and their medical history better than you. We often feel the need to throw out solutions when someone is in pain, but that probably won’t make the person feel better, only ourselves. 

Watch what you say in general

Feeling like they can’t talk about their experience with infertility can make the experience even more lonely. Some common responses to hearing about infertility are, “You can always try again,” "Whose fault is it?", "What's wrong with you?" “How are you paying for all that?" “Have you considered adoption?” “Maybe it’s not meant to be.” Most people who say these things don’t intend to be cruel, but these statements can minimize the grief and sorrow that the person is feeling. Instead of saying something just to say something, think carefully about how your words will be interpreted. 

Limit the baby talk

If you have kids or are expecting a child, it’s natural to want to talk about it. However, there are probably plenty of folks in your life who can handle these conversations - don’t push them on a friend who is dealing with infertility. Know that your friend probably doesn’t really resent you for your family, but it’s tough to talk about all the same. Try to be as kind and understanding as possible, and don’t take it personally if the other person needs some space from baby and pregnancy talk. 

If you’re close with someone who is dealing with infertility, it can be confusing to know how to help. Remember to be kind and think about the other person’s needs and just hold space where you can. If you need more ideas for support in this area, our clinicians can help you come up with some. 

20 Journal Prompts for Grief + Loss

Do you take the time to journal?

Journaling can be a very valuable practice, and best of all it’s a pretty cheap way to process your feelings. You can start a journal that’s specific to your feelings of grief, or you can keep a general journal for all of your thoughts. There are also no rules on the actual how of journaling: you can journal by hand, via an app, in a note on your phone, or wherever works for you. Your journal, however you decide to keep it, is just a private space for you to write down what you’re feeling. It can take whatever form you want it to, whether it’s exploring and releasing the emotions you’re feeling, coming up with ways to cope, or tracking the things that are making you anxious. Journaling can be a fantastic, active way to engage with our emotions without letting them overpower us, especially complex emotions like grief that we don’t always have a ton of experience with. 

Grief is something that we all experience from time to time, but it’s a hard thing to talk about. It’s also important to remember that grief can be a response to all kinds of things, not just losing someone.  While most folks are familiar with the grief associated with loss or death, there are many kinds of grief out there - you can grieve after a divorce, career change, loss of a pet, or even after a move, and that’s not a complete list.  As a matter of fact, the definition of grief is not only the reaction to loss, but it can also encompass “the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” You can also experience anticipatory grief, which is grief caused by the anticipation of a loss. This kind of grief can be the result of losing someone after a long illness, worrying about loss as someone ages, or even after anticipating the kind of loss and destruction that a global pandemic can bring. Grief is a pretty universal experience, but everyone reacts in their own way to grief. 

Journaling can help with meaning-making during the grief process. An important task during the grieving process is to figure out what your new life looks like after experiencing loss. Using a journal to work through your thoughts and feelings can help you construct a new self-narrative. If writing about tough topics like grief and loss has you feeling emotional, that’s totally normal. In fact, crying is a natural way to relieve stress and regulate emotions - it’s a physiological function that we’re born with, so if you have the urge to cry or get upset, try to allow yourself to feel those feelings. Taking the time to journal your feelings can help you explore your internal world, express yourself in a safe, judgment-free zone, and make meaning of the situation causing you grief. 

If you’re grieving and looking to start a journal, you might be stuck on where to begin. Here are some prompts to help you get started:

• Today, I miss…

• When I feel upset, I can call…

• Today, I remembered…

• This experience has taught me…

• Do I have any regrets about this situation? 

• If I could say something to you, I would say…

• What are some ways you’ve expressed grief in the past? Did they feel helpful to you?

• What feelings am I looking forward to? What feelings do I want to leave behind? 

• Write a list of activities that you can engage in to make yourself feel better

• Do I feel comfortable asking for help? Why or why not? 

• Who is in my support system? 

• Make a list of ways you feel taken care of both by yourself and by others. 

• What’s a positive memory I have of this person or situation? 

• How did this person or experience make you feel? 

• If you are grieving the loss of a person, write down a list of things specific to them that you admired. 

• What creative ways do I use to express my feelings? If I can’t think of any, what are some I can try? 

• Make a list of a few different ways you can honor your loved one or your loss.

• When I am overcome by grief, here is a mantra or affirmation I can use to comfort myself: 

• Here are five ways I can be compassionate with myself today…

• Do I know anyone else who is grieving? How can I try to make them feel better today? 

You don’t need to write something for every one of these prompts, just pick one or two that speak to you and start there. You don’t have to write anything profound or perfect - just write what comes to you and try not to judge yourself too harshly. If a lot of complicated feelings come up while you do this, know that that’s okay. Journaling is a fantastic tool for self-reflection, but it can be an emotional process, especially when you’re journaling about something as emotionally fraught as grief, so be gentle with yourself. Remember, you’re doing this to help yourself feel better, so don’t make yourself feel worse during the process.

If you need more ideas for journaling prompts or questions to ask yourself as you go through the grieving process, our counselors can help you reflect + work through your grief in a way that works for you. 

---

therapists in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

24 Resources for Children and Teens with Anxiety and Their Families

We all experience anxiety, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and begin to interfere with your child’s daily functioning and quality of life. For example. some anxiety is healthy and natural when we are taking tests as it can help enhance performance. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, it can disrupt performance for children. Sometimes when anxious, children may begin to avoid certain triggering situations and events, such as peers, teachers, or school itself. The avoidance then serves to maintain the anxiety and to worsen it over time. As a parent, how can you help your child break free of anxiety, out of their mind and into their life?

It can be difficult to find resources to help. Here, we list websites, books, organizations, apps, and videos for valuable information and support.

organizations providing information and resources on child anxiety

These organizations provide invaluable information on anxiety and how to cope with it. They also provide listings of resources you may find helpful.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America - Anxiety and Depression in Children

https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/anxiety-and-depression

National Institute of Mental Health

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

Child Mind Institute

https://childmind.org/topics/concerns/anxiety/

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

websites providing helpful information, handouts, and resources on child anxiety

These websites provide helpful information, handouts, and resources on anxiety and learning to cope with it.

Youth Anxiety BC

https://youth.anxietybc.com/

Anxiety.org

https://www.anxiety.org/causes-and-symptoms-of-anxiety-in-children

Worry Wise Kids

http://www.worrywisekids.org/

Brave Online - Helping Young Kids Overcome Anxiety

http://www.brave-online.com/

Coping Cat Parents

https://www.copingcatparents.com/Child_Anxiety_Tales

Anxiety Canada

https://www.anxietycanada.com/

blogs and online communities on child anxiety

Websites and forums featuring individuals writing about their journeys toward overcoming anxiety.

Parenting Anxious Kids

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxious-kids/

Anxiety Free Child Blog

http://anxietyfreechild.com/blog/

Turn Around Anxiety Blog

https://www.turnaroundanxiety.com/blog/

mindfulness exercises for child anxiety

Mindfulness Exercises for Children and Teens

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/

Cosmic Kids Mindfulness Meditation Videos

https://www.cosmickids.com/mindfulness-meditation-videos-kids/

Mindfulness for Kids YouTube Video Resources

https://www.theottoolbox.com/2018/01/mindfulness-for-kids-youtube-videos.html

anxiety apps

Headspace for kids

https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works

Breathe2Relax

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/breathe2relax/id425720246?mt=8

Calm

https://www.calm.com/

books for anxiety

These books are often recommended to patients by child psychologists who treat anxiety in children, and are written by clinical experts in the field.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-do Guides for Kids)

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety

Helping Your Anxious Child

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens

What resources have you found useful in helping your child manage anxiety? If you have any other resources that might be helpful for others, let us know in the comments below!

---

Child Anxiety Treatment in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

3 Tips for Parenting a Child with Chronic Pain

It can be challenging to parent a child with chronic pain. Not only is it difficult to see your child in pain, but parents often feel helpless, stuck, and unsure of what to do to help ease the pain and mitigate its impacts on their child’s life and daily functioning. For instance, children with chronic pain often begin to miss school, become socially isolated, and feel increasingly depressed and anxious over time. So how can parents help support their children get back to life and functioning even in the face of pain?

1. Interdisciplinary Assessment and Treatment of Pediatric Chronic Pain

   One of the things that makes parenting a child with chronic pain so challenging is that what seems most intuitive and most natural when treating acute, short-term pain, such as rest, time off from school, can often worsen chronic pain. So it’s important to get a proper comprehensive evaluation done prior to treatment. You can find an interdisciplinary clinic which specializes in pediatric pain. These clinics specialize in appropriately assessing and diagnosing pain and will help you determine appropriate treatment. Specialists there can help your child learn to manage and maintain normal age-appropriate functioning despite the chronic pain.

   Because chronic pain is so complex, treatment must also be multifaceted and interdisciplinary to appropriately tailor treatment and target critical domains involved. Interdisciplinary programs often involve evaluation by a physician, psychologist, physical or occupational therapists. There are a few of these programs across the country, including here in Washington DC, at the Pain Medicine Care Complex at Children’s National Health Systems. Below is a list of a few programs with interdisciplinary pediatric pain programs:

   • Cincinnati Children’s Pain Management Clinic

   • Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children Pediatric Pain Management

   • Kennedy Krieger Institute Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program

   • Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania (CHOP) Pain Management Program

   • Boston Children’s Pain Treatment Center

   • Stanford Children’s Health Pediatric Pain Management

   • Seattle Children’s Pain Medicine Clinic

   • Cleveland Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Program

2. Work with your child’s physician, psychologist, and physical therapist to understand what activities can be tolerated by your child.

   Parents play an incredibly important role in treatment and in their child’s outcomes. The treatment of chronic pain is highly complex, so it is important to work hand in hand with your child’s specialist providers.

   It might seem counterintuitive, but oftentimes, parents are recommended by specialists to encourage normal, age appropriate activity by their children. It’s important that children maintain functioning despite the pain. It makes sense when you consider that children who begin to lose functioning such as frequent school absences, fall behind, become stressed, increasingly depressed, anxious, and socially isolated, which are factors that can all contribute to worsening pain. Therefore, parents are often asked to provide positive reinforcement and praise for engaging in normal daily activities. Avoid questioning about the presence of pain. Consider whether the pain may have secondary functions such as avoidance or escape from undesirable activities. Work closely with your child’s treatment team to understand how you can best support your child emotionally and behaviorally. Because pain is so complex, all lifestyle factors must be considered and targeted.

3. Help your child get good sleep

   Sleep is often significantly affected in children with chronic pain. Pain and discomfort can make it very difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can result in increased and worsening pain during the day. Therefore, it is important for parents to help promote healthy sleep behaviors and a regular sleep-wake schedule in their children. Healthy sleep hygiene includes:

   • Limiting use of the bed for sleep (and not homework, watching TV or other activities)

   • A consistent bedtime routine

   • Limiting use of electronics

   • Consistent bedtime and waketimes

   • Limiting intake of caffeine, tea, coffee

   It can help to work with a psychologist who specializes in working with children with chronic pain. Sleep is an important area to address as it impacts pain, mood, as well as energy and ability to function and attend school, all of which in turn are also related to pain.

In sum, chronic pain in children can be difficult and stressful to navigate, but with time, appropriate specialized care, and parental support, children with chronic pain can manage it and reclaim their lives again for greater health and happiness.

Please read blog disclaimer below; this blog does not replace medical advice.

---

pediatric psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

List of Emotions

Sometimes you might feel an emotion, but not have the words to explain or identify what it is that you are feeling.

If this is the case, know that it is natural. We all have different backgrounds and life experiences. For example, some of us may have grown up in a household where emotions weren’t discussed much, and it isn’t until we are adults faced with life itself when we realize and begin to work on this gap. Others of us may begin to struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety from a young age, requiring a greater understanding of coping skills and emotions than others your age.

The purpose of emotions

Emotions can be positive or negative and can occur at different levels of intensity and frequency. Emotions can serve different purposes, including providing information to us about certain situations, or communicating to others how we feel. Emotions can also serve to motivate us or to help us avoid dangerous situations or potential threats. What’s fascinating about emotions is that they involve a mind body connection, as what we experience is processed in our minds and felt in our bodies and physiological responses. In other words, emotion is multidimensional.

The trouble with emotions is that they are not always right and can sometimes be misleading. For example, some people may feel generalized anxiety and tension all day even in the absence of any threat. Others may be prone to feelings of depression and tend to interpret different situations with a negative thoughts, thus in turn creating greater feelings of depression.

Practicing emotion identification and regulation

Developing a greater awareness of your emotions can help you develop ways to cope with difficult emotions that arise, make healthy decisions, enhance relationships with others, and develop a proactive sense of mastery over your life. Identifying emotions and how you feel in a given situation is often the first critical step towards figuring out how best to manage them.

Below is a list of emotions to help you identify how you may be feeling

Abandoned

Abhor

Absorbed

Acceptance

Aching

Admiration

Adoration

Adrift

Affection

Afraid

Aggravated

Aggressive

Agitated

Agony

Alarmed

Alert

Alienated

Alive

Alone

Amazed

Ambitious

Ambivalent

Amused

Angry

Angst

Anguished

Animated

Animosity

Annoyed

Antagonistic

Anticipating

Antsy

Anxiety

Anxious

Apathetic

Apologetic

Appalled

Appreciative

Apprehensive

Ardent

Aroused

Ashamed

Astonished

Astounded

Attachment

Attraction

Aversion

Awe

Awful

Awkward

Baffled

Bashful

Befuddled

Bemused

Betrayed

Bewildered

Bitter

Blah

Blessed

Bliss

Blithe

Blue

Boastful

Bold

Bored

Bothered

Brave

Breathless

Brooding

Bubbly

Bugged

Calamitous

Calm

Camaraderie

Captivated

Carefree

Caring

Ccutious

Certain

Chagrin

Challenged

Cheerful

Choked

Clueless

Cocky

Cold

Collected

Comfortable

Commiseration

Committed

Compassionate

Complacent

Composed

Concern

Concerned

Confident

Conflicted

Confused

Consternation

Contemplative

Contempt

Content

Contentment

Contrite

Cordial

Courage

Courageous

Cowardly

Cozy

Crabby

Crafty

Cranky

Craving

Crazy

Crestfallen

Cross

Cruel

Crummy

Crushed

Curious

Cynical

Dark

Defeated

Dejected

Delighted

Delirious

Denial

Depressed

Derisive

Desire

Desolation

Despair

Despondent

Detached

Determined

Detestation

Devastated

Devotion

Disappointed

Disbelief

Discouraged

Disdain

Disgraced

Disgruntled

Disgust

Disgusted

Disheartened

Disillusioned

Disinterested

Disliked

Dismal

Dismay

Dismayed

Disoriented

Dispirited

Distaste

Distracted

Distress

Distressed

Distrusting

Disturbed

Doleful

Dopey

Doubtful

Down

Downcast

Drained

Dread

Dreadful

Dreading

Dreary

Dubious

Dumbfounded

Eager

Earnest

Ease

Ebullient

Ecstatic

Edgy

Elated

Embarassed

Embarrassed

Embarrassment

Emotional-Detest

Empathic

Emptiness

Empty

Enchanted

Enchantment

Energetic

Engrossed

Enigmatic

Enjoyment

Enlightened

Enlightenment

Enmity

Enraged

Entertainment

Enthralled

Enthusiasm

Enthusiastic

Envious

Envy

Euphoria

Euphoric

Exasperated

Excited

Excitement

Excluded

Exhausted

Exhilarated

Exhilaration

Expectant

Expectation

Exuberance

Exuberant

Fanatical

Fascinated

Fatigued

Fear

Fearful

Feisty

Felicitous

Fervor

Fight-Or-Flight

Flabbergasted

Floored

Fondness

Foolish

Foreboding

Fortunate

Frazzled

Free

Fretful

Frightened

Frisky

Frustrated

Fulfilled

Fulfillment

Furious

Gay

Genial

Giddy

Glad

Gleeful

Gloomy

Goofy

Grateful

Gratified

Greedy

Grief

Groggy

Grouchy

Grudging

Grumpy

Guarded

Guilt

Guilty

Gung-Ho

Gusto

Hankering

Happy

Harassed

Hate

Hateful

Hatred

Heartache

Heartbroken

Helpless

Hesitant

Hollow

Homesick

Hopeful

Hopeless

Horrified

Hostile

Hot

Humiliated

Humored

Hurt

Hyper

Hysterical

Impatient

Incensed

Indifferent

Indignant

Indignation

Infatuated

Infatuation

Inferior

Infuriated

Inner Peace

Innocent

Insecure

Inspired

Insulted

Intense

Interest

Interested

Intimacy

Intimidated

Intoxicated

Intrigued

Introspective

Invidious

Invigorated

Irascible

Irate

Ire

Irritability

Irritated

Isolated

Jaded

Jealous

Jealousy

Jittery

Jocular

Jocund

Jolly

Jovial

Joy

Joyful

Jubilant

Jumpy

Keen

Kind

Lazy

Lblissful

Left Out

Lethargic

Liberated

Liberation

Lighthearted

Liking

Listless

Lively

Loathsome

Lonely

Longing

Lost

Love

Loved

Lovesick

Loyal

Lucky

Lust

Mad

Mean

Meditative

Melancholic

Melancholy

Mellow

Mercy

Merry

Miffed

Mildness

Mirth

Mischievous

Miserable

Mollified

Moody

Morbid

Mortified

Motivated

Mournful

Mourning

Moved

Mystified

Nasty

Nauseous

Needed

Needy

Neglected

Nervous

Neutral

Nonplussed

Nostalgic

Numb

Obscene

Obsessed

Offended

Optimistic

Outrage

Outraged

Overwhelmed

Pacified

Pain

Panic

Panicked

Panicky

Paranoia

Paranoid

Passion

Pathetic

Peaceful

Peevish

Pensive

Perky

Perplexed

Perturbation

Perturbed

Pessimistic

Petrified

Petty

Petulant

Pity

Playful

Pleased

Pleasure

Positive

Possessive

Powerful

Powerless

Preoccupied

Pride

Protective

Proud

Provoked

Psyched

Pumped

Puzzled

Quiet

Quizzical

Rageful

Rapture

Rattled

Reassured

Receptive

Reflective

Regretful

Rejected

Relaxed

Relief

Relieved

Relish

Reluctance

Remorse

Repugnance

Resentful

Resentment

Resignation

Resolved

Responsible

Restless

Revolted

Revulsion

Rotten

Sad

Safe

Sanguine

Sassy

Satisfied

Scandalized

Scared

Scornful

Secure

Self-Conscious

Selfish

Sensitive

Sensual

Serendipitous

Serene

Settled

Sexy

Shaken

Shame

Shamed

Sheepish

Shock

Shocked

Shy

Sick

Silly

Sincere

Skeptical

Sluggish

Small

Smoldring

Smug

Snappy

Solemn

Solicitous

Somber

Sore

Sorrow

Sorry

Sour

Sparkly

Speechless

Spirited

Spiteful

Sprightly

Startled

Stirred

Stressed

Strong

Stung

Stunned

Stupefied

Submissive

Succor

Suffering

Suffocated

Sullen

Sunny

Superior

Sure

Surprised

Suspicious

Sweet

Sympathetic

Temperamental

Tender

Tense

Terrific

Terrified

Terror

Testy

Thankful

Thirst

Thoughtful

Threatened

Thrilled

Timid

Tired

Titillation

Tormented

Torn

Torture

Touched

Tranquil

Traumatized

Trembly

Trepidation

Triumphant

Troubled

Trust

Trusting

Uncertain

Uncomfortable

Uneasy

Unhappy

Upbeat

Upset

Uptight

Vehement

Vengeful

Vexed

Vicious

Vigilant

Vindicated

Vindictive

Warm

Wary

Weak

Weary

Weird

Welcome

Woe

Wonder

Wonderful

Worn-Out

Worried

Worry

Worthless

Wrathful

Wretched

Yearning

Zeal

Zest

Isn’t it incredible how many emotions there are? Moods are incredibly complex, as they can often involve many different emotions at once and in different shades and intensities. Emotions color our lives in beautiful ways, but at their worst and most intense can also be difficult to suffer through. If this is the case, try working with a therapist who can help support you toward feeling balanced again, able to take negative moods as they come and to celebrate positive moods for the joy they bring.

---

DBT, mood management, depression treatment psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!