5 Things to Do When You Feel Triggered

5 Things to Do When You Feel Triggered

You’ve probably heard the word “triggered” before - it’s everywhere these days. Whether it’s a trigger warning or someone explaining that they’ve been triggered, more and more folks are becoming aware of the effects their emotional responses have on their day to day life. 

You may have experienced this yourself at some point. Have you ever had an experience where something happened, and your emotional reaction seemed way out of proportion with what was going on? 

An intense emotional reaction can be distressing. It’s a lot of work, mentally and physically, to be upset, and when a trigger comes seemingly out of nowhere, it can really throw you for a loop. 

What does being triggered mean?

When someone is triggered, that means that they are experiencing an intense emotional reaction to something. Triggers can be almost anything - something someone said or did, a smell or noise, a memory

Triggers don’t always have to be negative! There are times when something triggers a strong emotional response of joy, excitement, or happiness. However, it’s more common for people to be talking about a negative or unpleasant emotion when they discuss triggers and how to avoid them, because it’s much more uncomfortable to feel distressed than it is to feel happy. 

We have strong emotional reactions sometimes as humans, like when someone you care about passes away. When something is really emotional, we are wired to have a strong reaction to it. However, not every situation will cause such a strong reaction. When people find themselves having really strong emotional reactions to situations that don’t call for it, it can be upsetting. 

A trigger is something that is hard to avoid in daily life. Anything can be a trigger for someone, because everyone’s experiences are different. That’s why triggers are so hard to avoid - they’re a part of everyday life and relationships.

Things that trigger folks tend to be related to things like:

• unpleasant memories

• being confronted

• experiencing rejection or betrayal

• feeling unwelcome or vulnerable

• boundaries being crossed

• feeling controlled or taken advantage of

Any of these scenarios can trigger a strong emotional reaction.

What does being triggered feel like? 

When you’re triggered, it can feel intense. Many people experience an increase in their heart rate and breathing rate. You may also feel like your head is spinning, start to break out in a sweat, or feel like your stomach is upset. 

When your body is triggered, it goes into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode to help protect you. It’s an automatic reaction that comes from our evolutionary history, and was originally designed to keep us safe.

This high level of emotional intensity can be uncomfortable to experience on a regular basis. 

When you’re constantly breaking into fight or flight mode, it’s exhausting. Looking for danger around every turn is draining, and it can leave you feeling fatigued, irritable, and distressed. Feeling a high level of stress can also cause adverse physical symptoms after a while. Our bodies aren’t designed to be under extreme stress for long periods of time, so it can be hard on your body to feel constantly ready for danger. 

Although a trigger can be unavoidable, there are ways you can be more prepared when they come up, so you’re not left in so much distress each time. Here are some ways to cope when you feel triggered: 

Remind yourself where and when you are

A trigger is something that can throw you back into a painful or traumatic memory without much warning. When this happens, it can be hard to make sense of what is really happening, and what is your memory. Orienting yourself to the present moment can be helpful when you’re feeling swept up in a painful memory. 

You can do this in a few ways. You could look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re grown up now and that you’re safe. Some people use things like tattoos or scars to remind themselves that they’re not a younger version of themselves. 

If you feel like you’re having an experience outside of your body, try to gently use your senses to check in with the present. Grounding exercises can be helpful here, such as using your senses to bring yourself back to the present. 

Remember that feelings are morally neutral

You aren’t a bad person for having intense feelings. It can be hard to deal with intense emotions, especially when they’re coming up all the time. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel what you feel. Feelings are morally neutral, they aren’t good or bad. This doesn’t mean that you can’t want to change your feelings. It just means that the emotions you feel don’t say anything about your value as a person. You’re allowed to have feelings, so don’t be hard on yourself for having them. 

Take a break if you can

Being triggered is intense and overwhelming. If you’re able to, try to get yourself to a nice quiet space where you can calm back down. 

Try using your breath to slow your mind back down. Being triggered can also make you feel like you’re short of breath, so it’s important to make sure to focus on breathing in and out, nice and slow. Spending a few minutes regulating your breath can go a long way toward calming you down. It’s hard to make choices when you’re in an emotionally heightened state, so giving yourself time and space to calm down can make a difference. 

Try to find some humor

Being triggered or being reminded of something traumatic isn’t funny. But sometimes there are ways to find humor in what’s going on around you. Finding something to laugh about can help diffuse the tension of what you’re dealing with and make you feel less distressed. Is there anything silly about what’s going on? Can you take a moment and laugh at yourself a bit? 

Use affirmations

Another way to interrupt the trigger response is to use affirmations or self-talk. The way you talk to yourself matters. A lot of us are way meaner to ourselves than we think, and when you’re in distress those mean thoughts can be excruciating. When your mind starts to do its own thing and criticize you or you feel like you can’t handle something, try to interrupt it. You can use affirmations consciously to shift your thinking. Try saying to yourself, “I’m doing the best that I can right now,” “I am safe,” or “I know I can handle whatever comes my way.”

Are you looking for more ways to deal with triggers or other strong emotional reactions? Working with a therapist can help you learn more about what specifically is a trigger for you and how you can deal with those triggers in a way that works for you. Contact our office today to get started.