HOPE+WELLNESS BLOG
little snippets and advice for
everyday challenges many people share
How Routines Can Support You in Tough Times
Whether you’re going through a stressful time in your work or personal life, or if there’s something upsetting happening in the news, a routine can help you stay grounded and help manage stress.
What does your day-to-day routine look like these days?
Developing a routine that you enjoy might seem like tired old advice, but it’s a classic for a reason. Routines really do make a difference, especially during tough times.
Whether you’re going through a stressful time in your work or personal life, or if there’s something upsetting happening in the news, a routine can help you stay grounded and help manage stress.
Why are routines good for mental health?
Routine can help you feel a sense of control and give you structure during times when you feel powerless or confused. When things are unpredictable or stressful, a routine can help anchor you and give you ways to take care of yourself.
The holiday season is a great example. During the holidays, many people have to make plans to travel or host family members; find childcare, petcare, or house sitting services; find the cash to buy gifts for your friends and family; make time for work and personal celebrations; take time off work or cover shifts for people who are taking time off; and more, on top of everything else already on their plates. That’s stressful! It can be hard to get everything done that needs to be done while still taking care of yourself.
Part of why routines are so supportive is that they become habitual. When something is a habit, it takes less brainpower to get it done, leaving your mind free to focus on other things. That can be a big help in tough times!
What makes up a routine?
A routine is something that you do regularly, whether it’s on a daily, weekly, monthly basis (or another timeframe entirely). For the purposes of this post, we’re focusing on daily and weekly routines, which can help you more in day-to-day life. The things you add to your routine should be things that you know you can do, which can help build confidence and support your self-esteem.
To develop a routine that supports your mental health in tough times, you don’t need to make drastic changes. Your routine should be unique to you and your needs. Some people might prefer a routine as simple as this:
Take medication
Eat 3 meals and snack in between
Move your body
Do something creative
Go to sleep around the same time every day
There are some people who like to have their days planned down to the minute, but for some people that causes more stress than it relieves. However you structure your routine, it should work for you.
Here are 3 ways routines can help support you in tough times:
Support your overall wellbeing
Routines can help support your mental health by making sure you’re meeting your needs, like taking your medication or making sure you have enough to eat. The small daily tasks that keep us functioning well can often be some of the first things to go during times of stress, and that make stress feel even worse.
By following a routine that works for you, you’ll be able to meet your needs without having to focus too much time and energy on them. When your basic needs are met consistently, life is a lot less overwhelming.
Give your days structure
A lack of structure can make dealing with things like depression or anxiety even more difficult. Our brains love to focus on the negative if we give them nothing else to do. This used to be helpful, when we were scanning around for threats as hunter-gatherers, but it’s less than helpful when the focus on the negative becomes all you can think about.
Having structure in your day to day life can help you break out of the negative thinking patterns and focus on the things that are important to you.
Provide comfort when you’re struggling
A routine is one aspect of a support system, and it can be a valuable piece of the puzzle. When you’re struggling, a routine can help you figure out exactly how you’ll get through each day. In tough times, you’re much more likely to be closer to the edge of your window of tolerance, and it takes less to get pushed over the edge.
A routine can give you comfort in knowing that you have a plan. When life feels like it’s out of control, going through your daily routine can help you ground yourself and regain some sense of control back, even if it’s just on a personal level.
Developing a routine that is supportive to you can take some time to find what works best for you. Working with a therapist can provide even more support during tough times. Contact our office today to schedule an appointment.
Masking: What It Is and How It Shows Up
“Masking” is a term that refers to the process of suppressing your natural behaviors in order to blend in with those around you. It’s a self preservation technique for neurodivergent people, where they work to mimic the behaviors of neurotypical people around them in order to both fit in and avoid punishment for not blending in.
Do you know what masking is?
“Masking” is a term that refers to the process of suppressing your natural behaviors in order to blend in with those around you. It’s a self preservation technique for neurodivergent people, where they work to mimic the behaviors of neurotypical people around them in order to both fit in and avoid punishment for not blending in.
For folks on the autism spectrum, they often learn through harsh, negative, even possibly traumatic feedback from those around them that they’re behaviors are seen as annoying, inappropriate, or unwelcome in some way. Masking is the attempt to fit in without punishment or ridicule, by hiding the unpalatable of “difficult” parts of yourself. Because so many social rules are unspoken, neurodivergent folks, particularly folks on the autism spectrum, may need to rely on mimicking the behavior of the people around them in hopes of not violating those social rules when it isn’t clear what they are.
Masking might be so ingrained in the way someone behaves that they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Things like forcing yourself to make eye contact, even when it’s naturally very distressing, or clenching your hands in fists in your pockets to avoid fidgeting or stimming in some way are both common examples of how masking shows up. Some people don’t realize that they are masking their behaviors, they just have a persistent feeling that they are constantly trying and failing to meet uncommunicated expectations.
The habit of masking is a survival habit in a way–because so many behaviors associated with neurodivergence are stigmatized, and due to the ableism built into our culture, neurodivergent folks may find it necessary to mask in order to avoid bullying or harassment or even discrimination.
While masking can make it look like folks are adapting to the expectations of different settings, all that is really happening is certain people are learning to suppress parts of themselves. It’s motivated by fear and shame and a desire to avoid isolation. Because of this, folks on the spectrum can start to feel as though they are the issue, rather than our culture’s unwillingness to make space for them. It can start to feel as though people are overly burdened by your own natural and soothing behaviors, which causes you to suppress them, to feel shame about them, and consequently to feel shame about yourself. Folks who mask experience higher levels of stress, increased anxiety, increased depression, and have higher rates of suicidal thoughts than they’re neurotypical peers. There is also significant emotional burnout that comes from masking, leaving little to no energy for anything other than trying to be “normal.”
Masking also presents a unique challenge when it comes to recognizing and diagnosing ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and ADHD (attention hyper deficit disorder) in young girls and women. It’s not that young girls aren’t neurodivergent, but the way they’re socialized makes it harder to recognize the traditional criteria in their behavior.
For example, being hyper aware of their body and expectations of how they should act is something frequently socialized into girls, so how can you distinguish masking and the pressures of a patriarchal society?
Adding race in also complicates the ability to recognize traditional criteria. Just as women are required to make themselves small in our culture; people of color often feel required to make themselves palatable for their white peers. Black women have to be composed in all situations or they’re labeled the Angry Black Woman and if Black men are loud or large, they’re labeled dangerous.
The diagnostic criteria for ASD and ADHD was modeled after young white men, and didn’t take sexist or racist social factors into account. ADHD, ASD, and other neurodevelopmental conditions often look different in girls or women and go unrecognized by clinicians.
Here at Hope +Wellness we test all people but one of our specialties is in testing girls and women. We are here to help you with this — many of the individuals we test are women who have experienced many years of symptoms going unrecognized, undiagnosed, untreated, and all the associated emotional impacts — looking for answers and relief.
Take a look at our testing & evaluation services if you’re looking for support!
What to Do When You’re Burned Out
Burnout leaves you feeling exhausted, depleted, and hopeless, which can make it harder to get started doing anything that will help you feel better. Coping with burnout doesn’t have to be complicated, though, and there are some simple steps you can take to start feeling better.
Do you know what to do when you’re burned out?
Burnout is something that many of us are all too familiar with, especially since the onset of the pandemic. While many of us know on some level that we’re burned out, it’s less clear what to do when you are burned out. A complicating factor with treating burnout is that it leaves you feeling exhausted, depleted, and hopeless, which can make it harder to get started doing anything that will help you feel better. Coping with burnout doesn’t have to be complicated, though, and there are some simple steps you can take to start feeling better.
What is burnout, anyway?
Burnout is excessive and long-term stress. It’s easy to confuse burnout with stress, but they’re a little different. Stress is generally about a specific thing or situation, and it has an end. Burnout, on the other hand, is long-term. Burnout lasts until we do something about it, even if the situation that originally stressed us out has passed.
Anything that causes lots of stress can lead to burnout. Some situations that can lead to burnout include:
Being a caregiver or parent
Struggling with relationship problems
Having to work multiple jobs
Being in a rigorous academic program
Having to deal with too much at work
What does burnout feel like?
Burnout is a message from your body that you’re doing too much, going too hard, and you need to listen before you cause serious damage. As you can imagine, it doesn’t feel good!
Some of the physical and mental symptoms of burnout are:
Feeling cynical, helpless, trapped, or defeated
Getting sick more frequently
Procrastination
Struggling with self-doubt
Problems with concentration or memory
Being exhausted and drained all the time
Coping with substances
Becoming more detached and isolated from the people in your life
Feeling consistently bored or overwhelmed
Irritability
Loss of motivation for things that are important or meaningful to you
Frequent aches and pains (like headaches or stomach aches)
Changes in appetite
Shifts in your sleeping patterns
Why is burnout so common?
Burnout is common because our culture values work/productivity above personal happiness. Our worth is often tied to our jobs and how much we can produce. Being busy is rewarded and not being busy is seen as lazy. With inflation rising and the economic unpredictability from the pandemic, many people are working more than ever and having less time to recuperate.
Being stressed for a long period of time is harmful, both mentally and physically. Our bodies aren’t meant to be stressed for months and months on end, and when they are, it can cause problems, from mood swings to health problems like heart disease.
Dealing with burnout takes a two pronged approach of treatment and prevention.
Burnout always has a cause, but it’s not always easy to figure out what that cause is. Understanding the cause of your burnout can be key to prevent it from happening again. Figuring out what is making you feel burned out can help you focus on relieving the symptoms of burnout so you can make yourself feel better.
What can you do to feel better right now?
The first step to treating burnout is to ease the symptoms and start feeling better. It might seem like there’s nothing you can change, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes there’s not much you can do about a situation, but other times you can make changes that will help you feel better. Try approaching the problem after a few good meals and a good night of rest. When you’re feeling slightly less depleted, try to think about where the burnout is coming from.
It can feel bad to have to cancel plans or to ask for help, but remember that you’re not meant to go through life alone. Even if you feel like you’re the only one who can do certain things, you deserve to have a break too. Go through what’s on your plate and cancel or reschedule a few things. Ask for help from the people in your community.
It can also be helpful to let people know what’s going on with you so you don’t feel so alone. Most of us have dealt with burnout at some point, and it can be comforting to know that someone has gone through something similar and come out of it.
How to prevent burnout in the future
Once you understand a little bit more about where the source of your burnout is coming from, you can work on strategies to prevent it from happening again. If you struggle with being assigned too much at work, you can work with your boss to clarify your job responsibilities and learn how to delegate. If you are burned out from caregiving, you can call in your support system and ask for help.
Do you tend to be a people pleaser? When you struggle to ask for help, it can lead to burnout because you feel you have to take everything on yourself. No one can do everything alone, but it takes practice to feel comfortable asking for help from your support system.
Make it a habit to celebrate what’s going right. Our brains naturally try to focus on the negative to keep us safe, but sometimes they overdo it. It takes effort to focus on the positive sometimes, but when you make it a habit to celebrate what’s going right, it can help you feel less hopeless about the future.
Finally, it’s crucial to give yourself breaks. Schedule time off in your calendar. Take all of your vacation and sick days. Switch shifts with people to give yourself some time away. Say no to plans when you’re overwhelmed.
The way that we work and live in the modern world is pretty tough, and it doesn’t give us a lot of time to ourselves. It’s important to take time off regularly and use it to replenish your energy. This is hard because a lot of us spend our free time running errands or completing tasks, not resting. It can take time to learn how to really rest in a way that replenishes you, but it is possible.
What to do when you’re burned out and can’t take a break or change jobs
Work is a frequent source of burnout. While it can be fun to imagine just leaving your job and never coming back, that’s not always possible for people. Most of us need our jobs to keep the bills paid and keep a roof over our heads. If you’re burned out at work and you can’t take a break or change jobs, you’re not alone. There are some things you can do to help feel less burned out.
Start with setting boundaries. Talk with someone you work for like a manager or supervisor and explain what you’re experiencing. Your employer should have an interest in supporting your mental health, because employees who are burned out aren’t as productive. Your productivity doesn’t define you, but it may be something your boss cares about. Using this logic can help persuade your boss to help take some things off your plate or find solutions where they can. Try to set boundaries like when you will respond to work messages or how much you can realistically handle.
It may also be helpful to challenge your sense of urgency. Are the things causing you stress really urgent, or do you just feel like it is? Try to assess whether you’re pressuring yourself to do too much. Remember it’s okay to have boundaries, and not everything needs to be done right away. In most situations, what is happening is not an emergency, even if the people around us are behaving like it is.
Finally, take good care of yourself when you’re burned out. Treat yourself like you would when you’re not well, because you’re not well when you’re burned out. Get enough sleep, eat enough food, drink enough water, take enough time for yourself, do things that make you happy, move your body, and spend time with people you love.
Burnout is unpleasant, but it is treatable. Working with a therapist can help you cope with burnout and find solutions to prevent it from happening again. Get in touch with our office today to get started.
How to Make a Coping Skills Toolbox
However you cope, it can be helpful to make a coping skills toolbox to use when you’re upset or emotionally activated. Keeping a dedicated container with some helpful items and reminders inside can make a big difference when you’re having an unpleasant emotional experience.
What’s your go-to coping skill when you’re upset or emotionally activated?
We all have different ways that we cope in stressful or emotional times. Sometimes the ways we cope are strategies we learned when we were young to protect ourselves. Others might be skills we’ve learned as we’ve grown up and experienced different situations. Sometimes coping skills are supportive, and sometimes we outgrow coping skills that used to work. There are even times where we use coping skills that end up causing more emotional distress down the line.
However you cope, it can be helpful to make a coping skills toolbox to use when you’re upset or emotionally activated. Keeping a dedicated container with some helpful items and reminders inside can make a big difference when you’re having an unpleasant emotional experience. Everyone is different and copes differently, so the suggestions we have for a coping skills toolbox are just a jumping off point.
Using more supportive coping skills than the ones you’ve relied on for years can be tricky in the moment, when you’re outside of your window of tolerance and emotionally activated. It’s hard to rely on newer coping skills that we learn because the old ones are hard-wired into our brains. It takes our brains time to make the connections that help us form new habits. That’s why practice is crucial.
One of the keys to developing new coping skills is to practice using them when you’re not already upset or emotionally activated. Your ability to think clearly lessens the further you go outside of your window of tolerance, so thinking of ways to comfort yourself in the moment can be close to impossible sometimes. Having a go-to resource that you can rely on when you’re distressed can make coping with the situation and moving forward a bit easier.
Here are some suggestions for what to keep in your coping skills toolbox, so you can pull it out the next time you’re emotionally activated and need soothing.
Mindfulness Exercises
When you’re upset, it is hard to focus on what is happening in the present moment. When putting together your coping skills toolbox, try adding some mindfulness exercises or activities to help you reduce your stress and worry and focus on what’s happening right now. If there’s an exercise or activity that is helpful to you, write down some instructions or a reminder of what to do on an index card or piece of paper to help guide you in the moment.
Some items that you can add to your toolbox to help you cope in stressful moments are:
Deep breathing exercises, like box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing
Meditation tracks on a meditation app
Progressive muscle relaxation exercises
Coloring pages
A journal to write in and a pen
Distractions
When you’re upset, sometimes the most supportive thing to do is to distract yourself until the painful or distressing emotions pass. Distraction can become unsupportive when it’s the only coping skill you use, but there’s nothing wrong with distracting yourself from time to time when you’re upset.
Here are some items for your coping skills toolbox that may help distract you:
Movies to watch
Music to listen to
Games to play
Puzzles
A playlist of funny videos
Hobbies, like crafting or baking
Movement Ideas
Movement can be helpful in times of high stress and emotion. Movement is not only a distraction, but it can help release feel-good hormones throughout your body that can make you feel less distressed. You don’t have to move in a way that punishes yourself or your body, but some people do find that intense movement can be really helpful when they’re super emotionally activated.
Here are some items you can keep in your coping skills toolbox to encourage movement:
Yoga mat
Foam roller or muscle massager
Sneakers
Gardening tools
A list of exercise videos you like
Guides for stretching
Calming Sensory Objects
Using your senses is a powerful way to calm down or comfort yourself during intense emotional distress. Try to engage one or all of your senses during upsetting moments by keeping some sensory objects in your toolbox. Some items might be hard to keep all in one box, so leaving yourself a reminder of what objects to grab can be helpful in the moment.
Some ideas for sensory objects that can be comforting are:
Candles, lotion, or other comforting scented objects
Soft blankets or pillows
Calming music
A pen to click
Fidget spinners or stim toys
Soft toys or a stress ball to squeeze
Cuddly stuffed animals
Candies, mints, lozenges, gum
A warm beverage mix like tea or cocoa
Silly putty or slime
Weighted blanket
Photos of people you care about
Reminders
If there’s a coping skill that you want to remember to use when you’re emotionally activated, write it down on an index card or slip of paper and add it to your toolbox. You can pull out the card when you need to and remember what to do to make yourself feel better. It may also be helpful to keep some affirmations handy in your coping skills toolbox that you can repeat to yourself in distressing moments.
It may also be helpful to leave a reminder for yourself that this difficult moment won’t last forever - eventually it will pass. Emotions are like waves, and they do eventually recede, even when they’re uncomfortable. Finding ways to help yourself cope until the difficult emotions fade can help you feel more prepared for next time.
Therapy is a great opportunity to learn and practice new coping skills that you can add to your coping skills toolbox. Get in touch with our office today to set up an appointment!
7 Things to Do When You’re Lonely
Loneliness has a serious impact on our lives, but there are things you can do to cope with loneliness and to minimize its effects.
Do you struggle with feeling lonely?
We all feel lonely from time to time, but studies show that loneliness is an increasingly large problem for mental and physical wellbeing. Since the pandemic, loneliness has increased.
Loneliness and social isolation are often thought to be the same thing, but there’s actually an important difference. As the CDC explains, “Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the amount of social contact. Social isolation is a lack of social connections. Social isolation can lead to loneliness in some people, while others can feel lonely without being socially isolated.” You can become lonely from social isolation, but social isolation is not a requirement for loneliness.
Why are we lonely?
Everyone has moments where they feel lonely. When loneliness doesn’t pass, it can be very distressing. Part of the reason why loneliness is so prevalent is that, as a culture, we tend to value independence, often at the expense of our health. Humans are meant to live and be supported in communities, as we’re social creatures. When society tells you that success means being able to do everything on your own, it can be hard to let go of that message.
A study from Harvard shows that “36% of all Americans—including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children—feel “serious loneliness.” While we were lonely before the pandemic, the stress and isolation of the early pandemic days and the way it shifted how we live and work had a serious impact on loneliness. It was hard enough before the pandemic to get everything done that you needed to and make time for social connections. Now 3 years later, we’re exhausted mentally and physically from coping, and it might feel even harder to maintain the social connections that keep us from feeling lonely.
It’s also been shown in studies that marginalized groups, like Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, immigrants, LGBTQ folks, and disabled people, tend to feel loneliness at higher rates than non-marginalized groups. Discrimination, oppression, barriers to healthcare and other services, and stigma are some reasons why marginalized groups are more likely to experience loneliness and social isolation.
What does loneliness feel like?
You probably already know that loneliness doesn’t feel great. Feeling lonely is a negative emotion, so it can be distressing and painful. Remember, you don’t have to actually be socially isolated to feel lonely. You can be surrounded by people and feel lonely.
Often, loneliness isn’t actually about not having people in your life, but not having strong connections to the people in your life. We all like to feel seen and like we matter to other people. When you don’t have a lot of people who you can connect with in a real way, it can feel like no one understands you.
Being lonely has real, measurable effects on health and wellbeing. Loneliness can lead to:
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders
An increased risk for dementia
Heart disease and stroke
Thoughts of suicide
Premature death
Sleep problems
Substance use
Loneliness has a serious impact on our lives, but there are things you can do to cope with loneliness and to minimize its effects.
How can you cope with feeling lonely? Here are 7 suggestions:
Join things
One of the best ways to build connections with people is to put yourself out there and join things. This might seem like something you will never do, but it really does make a difference. It’s going to be impossible to build new connections if you don’t try some new things, or you would have made those connections already. Even though it seems intimidating, try joining a club, organization, hobby group, or class. Start small, and go from there as you build confidence in your ability to put yourself out there.
The key here is to find something that is important to you or that you really connect with. If you really love animals, call your local animal shelter or humane society to see if they need help, or sign up to be a part time pet sitter. If you like to read, check out your local bookstore to see if they have any upcoming events, or a book club you can join. If you’re interested in art, see if there are any art classes or events at local galleries that you can check out.
Be kind to yourself
Being lonely is tricky enough, so try not to be hard on yourself for feeling the way you feel. Even though it’s painful, it’s okay to feel what you feel. You deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion, from others as well as from yourself.
Social media also has a big impact on loneliness. When you can see an endless stream of pictures of other people having fun together, it can make you feel even more alone. Remember that you’re not seeing the full picture of what’s going on through someone’s social media posts. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially on social media.
Explore the reasons behind your loneliness
Coping with the feeling of loneliness can be such a big task that it’s easy to forget to explore why loneliness is there in the first place. However, it’s worth looking into the reasons behind your loneliness so you can prevent it in the future.
Do you feel like you don’t have friends or loved ones who understand you? Are you having interpersonal problems? Does social media make you feel left out or less than? Do you worry that everyone is judging you and that is what makes it hard to reach out? When you can pinpoint the reasons behind why you feel lonely, you can make some changes. If no one understands you, it might be time to explore some groups that have similar interests. If you are having interpersonal problems, working with a therapist can help you find new ways to relate to people and how to explore conflict in a healthy way. It will take a lot of introspection and compassion, but exploring what’s behind your loneliness gives you a road map of how to fix it.
Invest in your current relationships
When you’re lonely, it can be easy to talk yourself out of reaching out to the people in your life. You might feel like they don’t want to hear from you or that they’re too busy for you. Remember that you can’t read minds, though! Your assumption about how they’ll respond might be way off, and the only way to find out is to ask. Reach out to the people you already know to connect and make plans, or even just to share that you’re feeling lonely and thinking of them.
When your loved ones reach out to you to ask how you’re doing, it’s okay to let them know that you’re feeling lonely. Talking about it can release some of the shame that you may not even realize you were holding onto. It’s also easier to ask for help from someone who already knows what’s going on. You might be surprised to find out that the people in your life are also feeling lonely, as it’s extremely common these days.
Find something you like to do solo
Spending time by yourself is more enjoyable when you have something you like to do. Explore some new hobbies or activities to see what you like doing on your own. Maybe you really like taking your dog for long walks, or maybe doing a puzzle is more your speed. Try things like: playing an instrument, collaging, painting, drawing, knitting/crocheting, crossword puzzles, reading, thrifting, gardening, cooking or baking, hiking, journaling, bird watching,
Ask for help
Loneliness doesn’t have to last forever, but it can feel hard to break out of feeling isolated. When you’re struggling with being lonely, it’s okay to reach out for support. Friends and family can probably relate to what you’re going through, and the people that care about you probably want to help. We’re not meant to go through life alone, and it’s okay to ask your community for support.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends or loved ones, try talking to your primary care physician about what you’re going through. They might even have some resources to point you toward so you can meet new people and strengthen your current connections. A therapist can also be a great resource when coping with loneliness, because you can explore the reasons behind your feelings as well as new ways to cope.
Go out of your comfort zone
This is such frustrating advice, because no one wants to really go outside their comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable! However, you don’t always have to go too far out of your comfort zone to make new connections. Start with a little baby step out of your comfort zone.
Instead of keeping to yourself the next time you walk around your neighborhood, try leaving your headphones at home and saying hi to anyone you walk by. Pick one social event a month that you’re going to check out. Google free events in your area or through interest groups that you care about. Many cities and towns have event calendars on their websites so you can find things going on, and you can also find events listed on Eventbrite and Facebook. See if you can pick one new thing to try and see how that feels.
Coping with feeling lonely can be hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a therapist can help teach you new ways to cope and explore ways to build community and support. Get in touch with our office today to get started with one of our expert clinicians.
Mindfulness Tips for When You’re Having a Bad Day
When you’re in the middle of a bad day, you might feel like there’s nothing you can do to feel better in the moment. Depending on the situation, that might be true. However, mindfulness can be a helpful tool to have in your mental toolbox for when tough stuff comes up. Relying on mindfulness can help you make the most of your bad day and gain a sense of peace.
We all have those not so good days. Whether it’s because of something that happened at work, a fight with your partner, an uncomfortable family situation, or something else entirely, bad days happen. There is no way to avoid the occasional bad day - we can only control our reaction to it. When we're caught up in the idea that we're having a ‘bad day’ it can become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. We suddenly notice that every red light takes too long to change or that people are misunderstanding us more than usual. When we’re already agitated, it takes very little to push us the rest of the way over the edge. That’s where mindfulness can come in handy on a bad day.
When you’re in the middle of a bad day, you might feel like there’s nothing you can do to feel better in the moment. Depending on the situation, that might be true. However, mindfulness can be a helpful tool to have in your mental toolbox for when tough stuff comes up. Relying on mindfulness can help you make the most of your bad day and gain a sense of peace.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness can be a transformative practice that helps you learn to sit with your thoughts and focus fully on the here and now. Instead of worrying about the future or overanalyzing things that already happened, mindfulness is focused on what is happening now. The most important part of mindfulness is remembering not to judge yourself. When you’re actively trying to focus on the present, you will notice a million different thoughts trying to get your attention. It’s okay if they do. Mindfulness is a practice, and it takes time to learn how to let your thoughts move past without engaging them. If you notice your focus slipping, gently remind yourself that you’re focused on the present moment. It can help to have an affirmation to repeat to yourself when this happens to gently redirect your attention. Try something like “I’m focusing on the present moment now,” or paying attention to your breathing to help you stay present.
How can mindfulness help with a bad day?
Mindfulness teaches us to notice without judgment. When you’re having a bad day, you might have a hard time admitting that it’s a bad day, because that sounds like giving up or giving in. However, we can’t change anything if we don’t recognize it first. Admitting it’s a bad day won’t make it any worse, it just means you can acknowledge it and try to move on from there.
Do a body scan
Where are these bad day feelings living in your body? Do you feel a heaviness in your chest or gut? Do you feel tension in your neck? Close your eyes and scan your whole body, from the top of your head down to your toes and see where the discomfort is hanging out for you. When you recognize that your feelings can be felt in your body, you can have a little more compassion for yourself. After all, if you have an ache or pain, it’s okay to treat that! It’s the same with emotional or mental pain.
Remind yourself of the facts
Mindfulness can also help us realize that our feelings aren’t facts. We might feel like our world is ending on a bad day, but what do the facts say? Take a deep breath and separate your feelings from what’s actually going on. Remind yourself that you’ve had bad days before and you’ve gotten through every single one. If it helps, remind yourself that all days end and this one will too.
Get it out on paper
Sometimes no matter how hard we try to focus on the present, our thoughts continue to jumble up in our heads and make us feel worse. When that happens, it can be helpful to talk or write out what you’re feeling. Grab a journal or make a voice memo in your phone and let yourself write or talk for a few minutes. Try setting a timer and give yourself that amount of time to write about it, and when you’re done, imagine closing the cover of your journal or pushing the stop button on your phone as letting go of those thoughts. It might take some practice to help you get used to dumping your thoughts and worries this way, but it can be freeing to get them all out of your head so you can focus on feeling better.
Distract yourself
When you’re in the middle of a distressing day, a distraction might be helpful to take your mind off things. Not all distractions are bad - if it helps you to stop ruminating on what’s wrong with your day, it can be a game changer. Try distracting yourself with joyful movement, cooking, making art, cleaning, or something else that is fun but also challenging.
Use your senses to self-soothe
If you’re feeling extremely distressed, soothing yourself can be essential. Try using your senses to soothe yourself. Pick 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Keep going through these until you feel less agitated. You can also do breathing exercises like box breathing to help calm yourself down.
Having a bad day is no fun, but it’s the reality from time to time. Instead of being stuck when those days come up, adding in mindfulness skills to your mental health toolbox can help support you so you can get back to feeling like yourself in no time. If you’re looking for support starting a mindfulness practice, our therapists can help find what works best for you. Contact us today to book a session.
5 Reasons Why Crying is Good For You
Many of us think of crying as a negative thing, but crying is actually an important function, physically and mentally. Crying is an often cathartic release that can improve mood, sleep, and relationships, and lower stress levels when you’re feeling emotionally triggered.
5 Reasons Why Crying is Good For You
When was the last time you had a good cry?
Many of us think of crying as a negative thing, but crying is actually an important function, physically and mentally. Crying is an often cathartic release that can improve mood, sleep, and relationships, and lower stress levels when you’re feeling emotionally triggered.
Not everyone is a crier. While some folks cry easily and regularly, others rarely cry, if at all.
There are a few reasons for this. First, everyone is different, and everyone experiences emotions differently. Some people are just wired to be more sensitive to crying than others, and that’s okay. A common reason why people are afraid to cry is because they feel like if they start, they’ll never stop. If you never let yourself have the kind of cathartic release that crying can bring, you’ll start to feel overwhelmed by the emotions you’re pushing down.
Others feel that crying is a sign of weakness. It’s also important to point out the gender roles at play here. Women are far more likely to cry than men, and crying is often seen as feminine or unprofessional. According to the American Psychological Association, the average woman cries 30-64 times a year, compared to men who cry 5-17 times a year on average. These beliefs encourage people who cry easily to not be taken seriously, especially in the workplace or in leadership roles.
Of course, sometimes crying isn’t a positive experience. Sometimes crying is a result of pain or distress that can’t be relieved by tears alone. Context matters with crying - for a good cry, it helps to be somewhere you feel safe and comfortable, rather than somewhere public or with people you don’t know well. It’s much more preferable to cry at home on the couch with your best friend than to cry in a conference room full of strangers.
What is it about crying that is good for you? Here are 5 reasons:
Crying relieves stress
Not only is a bout of crying a helpful emotional release, but it can also help remove stress hormones from your body through your tears. That’s right! Tears actually have functions other than to communicate distress. Research has shown that cortisol, a stress hormone, is released in tears and that crying in and of itself may lower cortisol levels, which can reduce stress in the body. Crying also releases oxytocin and endorphins, both of which can reduce pain and leave you feeling good.
Crying improves relationships
Crying serves an important function for infants - it alerts their caregivers that they need something. From the time we’re born, crying helps us build connections with others. Vulnerability is scary but it can bring you closer to your loved ones when you experience it together. Think of a time when a loved one was vulnerable and cried in front of you. This can often trigger empathy and leave you feeling even closer than you did before.
Tears are good for your vision
When you produce tears, they help keep your eyes lubricated and healthy. One type of tear, called reflex tears, are a direct response to debris in the eye. These tears move whatever the dangerous or uncomfortable thing is out of your eye to keep it from becoming irritated or injured. Some people deal with chronic dry eyes, where their eyes don’t produce enough of the moisture needed to stay comfortable and see correctly. Crying can help moisten up your eyes if you struggle with dry eyes.
Crying is a way to physically process emotions
Crying is often associated with grief and sadness, because it’s a release from those painful emotions. Crying is itself a physical way to process emotions. Our emotions are not just stored in our minds; our bodies hold onto emotion and trauma. This is why engaging the body when approaching healing work can be so helpful. When you’re emotionally activated and you’re feeling out of control, a crying session might help flush out the uncomfortable emotions so you can approach things with a clear head instead of acting without thinking.
Crying allows you to calm down
Sometimes it’s hard to calm yourself down when you’re feeling emotionally activated. Crying is a way you can practice self-soothing, because it activates your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). When your PNS is online, your body goes into rest mode, and can help you feel more calm. This can help you feel more clear headed and lower the drive to do something out of urgency or because you’re upset. Activating your parasympathetic nervous system can also help improve sleep because it switches your body from fight or flight mode to relax mode, which can make it easier to settle down for the night.
So, go ahead and have a good cry. You’ll probably feel better afterwards!
If you’re struggling with your mental health or experiencing a lot of crying that isn’t normal for you, talking with a therapist can be helpful. Get in touch with our office today to book an appointment.
5 Practices for When You Feel Off and Don't Know Why
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re just feeling off and you don’t know why? Here are five things to try when that happens.
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re just feeling off and you don’t know why?
Maybe you feel a bit tired, even if you got enough rest. Maybe you’ve got no appetite, even though you have a fridge full of food you enjoy eating. Maybe you just feel a bit down and aren’t sure why.
When we’re not feeling good, the best thing to do is to tend to whatever it is that’s causing it. But when we don’t know why we’re feeling off, it can be hard to figure out what self care practices would be helpful, and which would be nice but ultimately ineffective in helping you address the problem.
While much of self care relies on regular habits–refilling your prescriptions, taking your medication, feeding yourself with food that nourishes your body and soul, making intentional space for relationships, finding joyful and gentle ways to move your body, taking dedicated time outside of your comfort zone, etc–we can still do as needed self care in addition to all of these wonderful habits when we need a little extra care and intention.
So what can we do when we’re feeling off and don’t know why?
1). Try a body scan
It might seem silly, but there may be tension, pain or discomfort that you’re not noticing in your body, but that could be impacting you all the same. Something like a headache, if it’s mostly affecting your eyes you may just think you feel tired. Taking time to breathe deeply and go over each part of your body slowly to check in with how it feels can help bring your attention to things you may have been overlooking. This is also a good self-check in practice to incorporate into your regular routine! Try starting or ending your day with one.
2). Get water and a snack and check in with yourself in 15 minutes
Being hungry or dehydrated can impact your energy levels, your ability to focus, it can give you head or stomach pains, leave you feeling achy all over, worsen your mood and more. When you can’t figure out why you’re feeling “off” get yourself a big glass of water and a filling snack, like peanut butter toast or a protein bar. Then check in with yourself in ten or fifteen minutes to see how you’re feeling. It may just be that your attention wasn’t present in your body and you weren’t noticing your hunger or thirst cues.
3). Release what’s on your mind
If there’s something nagging at the back of your mind, it could be throwing you off. Even if you think it’s not a big deal, pushing away our feelings never makes them go away. It’s possible that neglected emotional discomfort could be yelling for your attention through physical discomfort. Take a few minutes to write a stream of consciousness in a journal, or call a friend you can vent to, in order to release those feelings. Choosing someone you trust to talk to about it can also help you gain perspective on whatever you’re experiencing, but even just voicing the feelings out loud helps to relieve how all consuming they can feel.
4). Try to sit with the feeling
Instead of brushing it off as an “off day” after you’ve given other self care a try, really take time trying to sit with that feeling to find where it’s coming from. Are you unhappy? Are you resentful? Are you bored? Maybe that off feeling isn’t so much about something happening right now, but a more general discontentedness with some area of your life. Ask yourself, what parts of the day do you feel this “off” feeling the most strongly? Is there anyone who helps to ease it? Anyone to exacerbates it? Are there parts of your daily routine where you can’t seem to focus on anything but that “off” feeling? You may need a change in your life. Getting curious about when and how you feel that “off” feeling can help lead you to areas of your life that maybe need more intention from you. Perhaps the communication in your relationship hasn’t been as intimate or connected as you would like, and that’s leaving you feeling off centered, even if nothing is technically “wrong.” For this sort of exercise, remind yourself there is no right or wrong way to feel. If you’re not feeling content with something, that doesn’t mean you’re greedy or ungrateful, it just means you’re ready to find something that will work better with you.
5). Take the day off from your regular responsibilities
A sick day or a mental health day, or just a day where you turn your phone off and don’t look at any notifications that pop up. Clear your day for rest and rejuvenation. When you’re not bogged down by responsibilities, where are you naturally drawn? Maybe you sincerely do want to do some mindful chores, to take care of your space as a way to thank it for taking care of you. Maybe you want to focus on your physical wellbeing and have a nice long shower, go for a walk, do some stretching, and cook a big nourishing meal. Instead of trying to solve the problem of what’s “wrong”, give yourself permission to follow what calls to you–you may be unknowingly meeting some of those neglected needs!
If you want some extra figuring out where this feeling is coming from, working with a therapist can help you. Give our office a call today to get more information or to schedule an appointment.
6 Safe Ways to Express Anger
Part of the experience of an emotion is sitting through it - there’s really no way around experiencing the emotion if you want to move forward from it. Think of other emotions you feel. When you’re sad, you might cry, or cuddle a pet, or take a nap. Those are all safe ways to cope with sadness. There are options for you to express anger in safe ways too.
How do you react when you feel angry?
For a lot of people, anger is a confusing emotion. Everyone feels anger, of course, but we often aren’t taught how to deal with anger in a healthy way when we are young. It can feel like the only way to respond to anger is through yelling or violence, but that’s a myth that stems from our anger-phobic culture.
Why are we afraid of anger?
Think about what comes up for you when you think about anger. For a lot of folks, those memories, emotions, and sensations are related to painful or frightening experiences. Feeling painful emotions is uncomfortable, so lots of us do whatever we can to avoid dealing with them, even if we don’t do that consciously. Many of us are in the habit of repressing our anger to the point where we might not think we feel it at all.
Our culture has one very narrow view of anger: anger can be felt by a man, and he can respond to the anger he feels with violence. Whether that violence is a yelling match, hurting themselves, or hurting others, the typical reaction to anger that we see in the media is one that is out of control and scary. Our culture follows this script and encourages anger in men, and represses anger in women.
Many women don’t feel that they experience anger at all, because women aren’t socialized to express anger. Women are often forced to hide their anger or ignore it entirely because our society doesn’t give women the option to be angry. Think of stereotypes like calling a woman “crazy” when she’s upset about something in a relationship, or the racist stereotype of the “angry Black woman.” Anger isn’t something women are allowed to feel like any other emotion - either we are forced to repress it, or it becomes our whole identity.
Why can’t we just ignore anger?
The problem with repressing emotions is that they never stay repressed permanently. They always come up at one point or another, often when you’re least prepared to deal with them. Repressed anger doesn’t feel good. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it can have powerful effects when it’s not properly expressed. Repressing anger can lead to major swings in mood, increased irritability, and even anxiety and depression.
Anger is a normal emotion. We all feel it from time to time. Like all emotions, it comes and it goes, and doesn’t last forever when we allow ourselves to feel it (versus repressing it). When any emotion comes up, we can notice it and find ways to cope with that emotion. Part of the experience of an emotion is sitting through it - there’s really no way around experiencing the emotion if you want to move forward from it. Think of other emotions you feel. When you’re sad, you might cry, or cuddle a pet, or take a nap. Those are all safe ways to cope with sadness. There are options for you to express anger in safe ways too.
Here are some suggestions for safe ways to express anger:
Use your voice
This doesn’t mean to get in a yelling match with someone. This just means to use your voice to express the intensity of what you’re feeling. Maybe this means you go for a drive in the car and scream-sing along to a playlist. Maybe it means you scream into your pillow for a bit. It could also mean talking it over with someone if that feels supportive to you.
Get moving
Anger is an intense emotion, and can often feel like it’s bursting out of you or like it’s causing energy to build up inside of you. A great way to deal with the excess energy that often comes up with anger is to move your body and tire yourself out. Try dancing around to music that makes you feel powerful. Or maybe go for a run or a brisk walk. Any kind of intense movement that gets you moving and your blood pumping can be helpful here to work through the feeling of anger.
Be destructive (strategically)
The urge to be violent when angry is often a way to get rid of the painful excessive energy that anger can bring. This urge can be met in ways that aren’t unsafe or scary, thankfully! Here are some ideas for how to be destructive in a safe, strategic way to help relieve some anger:
Safely throw or squeeze or hit or break something
Visit a smash room and break some things
Hit or kick a punching bag
Squeeze play dough or a stress toy
Knead dough or pound meat
Throw something soft (or maybe throw a toy for a pet to chase)
Break down cardboard boxes
Pound on a drum set
Practice progressive muscle relaxation
Anger can cause a lot of tension to spring up in the body. When you’re responding to anger, it can be helpful to notice where the anger is living in your body. This not only helps you identify what anger feels like so you can spot it when it comes up in the future; it also lets you know where to focus your attention for relaxation. To help you find where the anger is living in your body, you can do a body scan and practice mindfulness that engages the body, like progressive muscle relaxation. There are lots of guided body scan meditations available for free on platforms like Spotify, YouTube, and Insight Timer that you can try to get in the habit of scanning your body for signs of anger. Once you’ve spotted the anger in your body, you can focus on relaxing that area. Progressive muscle relaxation can help you slowly shift your body from a state of tension to a state of calm and safety.
Find your safe place
Anger can feel scary and out of control. When intense emotions like anger come up, it can be helpful to remind yourself that you are safe and in control of yourself. Where is a place you can go mentally to remind yourself that you’re safe? Some people choose a beach or mountains as their safe place, and others prefer a room in their house or a space from their childhood home.
When you feel an intense emotion, imagine you’re in your safe place. If it helps, carry a reminder of this with you or save a picture on your phone to help you mentally return to your safe place. This can be helpful with lots of distressing emotions, not just anger!
Are you looking for more support in coping with anger? It’s hard to know how to express anger safely when you’ve spent your whole life ignoring it. Our therapists can help you find ways that work for you to safely process and express your anger. Get in touch with our office today to get started!
Exploring & Expressing Anger Safely
Anger is often a secondary emotion–which means if comes as a result of another, often more vulnerable feeling. While anger is what is being expressed in that case, the feeling at the root could be hurt, shame, betrayal, etc.
However, anger still tells us a lot of information, and isn’t an emotion to be afraid to feel or express
There’s no such thing as a bad emotion.
Yes, read it again! None of our emotions on their own are good or bad. Now, that doesn’t mean that they can’t make us feel bad (or uncomfortable) in some way, but all an emotion is really doing is giving us information. And all of that information is important–even the information we don’t like to learn.
Our feelings basically act as response cues to the environment around us. They let us know if we’re safe, if we’re valued, if our wants and needs are being met, etc. If that sounds confusing (how can a feeling let you know if your needs are being met?) let’s look at an example. Say you’ve spent an evening laughing with your friends, feeling happy. That good feeling, while it might seem basic, is telling you information! It’s letting you know:
You are comfortable around the people you’re with
Your true self is safe to come out in this environment
You’re able to participate fully in the moment, indicating you feel seen and valued
You’re fulfilled/rejuvenated by the social connections you’ve made
That all might seem obvious at the moment, but it’s actually a lot of information for one feeling to give you! Uncomfortable emotions, though we don’t enjoy experiencing them as much, give us the same amount of information. While they can feel “bad” they’re still important to pay attention to, so we can attend to our needs.
Let’s look at anger.
Anger is often a secondary emotion–which means if comes as a result of another, often more vulnerable feeling. While anger is what is being expressed in that case, the feeling at the root could be hurt, shame, betrayal, etc.
However, anger still tells us a lot of information, and isn’t an emotion to be afraid to feel or express. One function it can serve is informing you when you’re being mistreated. If someone says something cruel to you and you get upset, there may be another emotion at the root, but your anger can also be a signal that you know how you deserve to be treated, but that you are presently being mistreated. That’s not a bad thing–your anger is actually looking out for you in that scenario. It’s letting you know, hey, I know this isn’t okay and I deserve better!
Anger becomes a problem when we are so afraid of it, we don’t give ourselves space to explore or express it. If we’re under the impression that anger is bad or scary, we’re not likely to engage with it when we feel it; instead we’re more likely to feel shame and try to shove it away. Or, if our anger has been shoved aside too long, it may bubble up and explode in a more volatile way than if we had given it the attention it needed when it first appeared.
When we don’t treat it as something dangerous, anger can be useful to us.
Give yourself a moment to think about why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. As yourself:
What happened just before I started feeling this way?
What was it that made me feel this way?
Am I feeling angry or is there another emotion at the root of this feeling? (Insecurity, sadness, shame, etc.)
Does this remind me of some way I’ve been mistreated in the past?
When you’ve given yourself a chance to explore what it is you’re feeling, communicating to others what you need or what upset you will be easier.
But sometimes we need to let ourselves feel the anger before we’re ready to pick it apart.
That doesn’t mean lashing out or having an outburst, but there are other ways to let yourself feel and express that anger without endangering yourself or others. Giving yourself time to feel your feelings before picking them apart helps you not to overanalyze yourself.
Sometimes we’re angry because we haven’t had enough to eat or sleep and we keeping getting held up by small inconveniences, until suddenly we’re angry! In those cases, too much introspection probably won’t be helpful. You need a snack, a nap, and a moment to release the built up frustration so that you can go about your day. Some ways you can release that anger or frustration can include:
Music:
Whether you play an instrument yourself, or if you just like to blast it in your room and sing along, screaming along or playing loudly can help release the tension that has built up.
Art:
Creating art can be both a physical release by working with your hands and other materials (like painting), a way to be destructive while also creative (like collaging) and even a physical stress relief (using clay with your hands, etc.). It also allows you to express whatever it is you’re feeling without having to put words to it–there are many other ways we can communicate, and visually is one way! Using art to express anger is a great way to explore it, release it and communicate it.
Moving your body:
Any way you like! It could be dancing, going for a run or hike, or anything that can take that anger and use it as physical exertion so it feels like you’re expelling it out of your body. Exercising also helps to release those feel good chemicals in our brain as well, so you can literally help improve your mood by moving your body.
Journaling:
You don’t have to express everything perfectly in your journal, or even know what you want to write about–it’s a space all for you. You can let yourself vent when you’re mad to get it out, and later, when you’re feeling calm and settled, you can look at what was upsetting you to see if there’s anything within your control that you can do about it.
Remember: Anger is just a feeling, feeling it isn’t good or bad.
Give yourself time and space to release those feelings and explore what they’re telling you before trying to communicate that with others. And while anger can be useful, communicating in anger is not, so using one of these ways to find expression or release first, before communicating to others about what you need can help you stay grounded and focused on your own needs,
Working with a therapist can help you understand what your anger is telling you and find healthy ways to express it. Contact our office today to get started.
Hope+Wellness is a mental health practice specializing in the treatment of depression, mood, stress, and anxiety in kids, teens, and adults. This is a blog about living well and finding meaning and purpose in the face of difficult challenges. This is a blog about finding hope.
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- Dec 28, 2022 4 Ways to Deal with New Year Overwhelm Dec 28, 2022
- Dec 23, 2022 4 Ways to Accept a Slower Pace in the Winter Season Dec 23, 2022
- Dec 19, 2022 Cultivating Strong Community Ties for Better Mental Health Dec 19, 2022
- Dec 12, 2022 Separating Healing from Healthism Dec 12, 2022
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November 2022
- Nov 30, 2022 6 Safe Ways to Express Anger Nov 30, 2022
- Nov 28, 2022 Exploring & Expressing Anger Safely Nov 28, 2022
- Nov 18, 2022 3 Tips for Cultivating A More Positive Relationship With Yourself Nov 18, 2022
- Nov 10, 2022 Learning How to Connect Emotions and Body Sensations Nov 10, 2022
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October 2022
- Oct 31, 2022 What is a Glimmer? Finding the Opposite of a Trigger Oct 31, 2022
- Oct 24, 2022 4 Ways to Cope with Being Disliked Oct 24, 2022
- Oct 11, 2022 8 Blogs to Help You Manage Your Emotions Oct 11, 2022
- Oct 3, 2022 4 Practical Ways to Build New Habits Oct 3, 2022
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September 2022
- Sep 27, 2022 Spending Time with Your Inner Child this Autumn Sep 27, 2022
- Sep 20, 2022 3 Ways to Build Interoceptive Awareness Sep 20, 2022
- Sep 14, 2022 Getting Started with Hiking for Mental Health Sep 14, 2022
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August 2022
- Aug 31, 2022 How to Tell the Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Care Aug 31, 2022
- Aug 22, 2022 5 Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature Aug 22, 2022
- Aug 16, 2022 How Well Can You Predict What Will Make You Happy? Aug 16, 2022
- Aug 8, 2022 What is a Trauma Response? Aug 8, 2022
- Aug 1, 2022 4 Ways to Practice Accountability in Your Relationships Aug 1, 2022
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July 2022
- Jul 25, 2022 What is Emotional Regulation? Jul 25, 2022
- Jul 18, 2022 5 Ideas for Soothing Your Nervous System in Tough Times Jul 18, 2022
- Jul 13, 2022 3 Tips to Manage Regret More Mindfully Jul 13, 2022
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June 2022
- Jun 30, 2022 5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Worth Jun 30, 2022
- Jun 29, 2022 Codependence vs Interdependence in Relationships Jun 29, 2022
- Jun 21, 2022 What Internalized Messages Do Your Still Believe About Yourself? Jun 21, 2022
- Jun 16, 2022 Can I Have a Healthy Relationship with My Body Without Loving It? Jun 16, 2022
- Jun 6, 2022 4 Ways To Widen Your Window Of Tolerance Jun 6, 2022
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May 2022
- May 25, 2022 Quieting Your Inner Critic by Living your Values May 25, 2022
- May 17, 2022 Understanding Your Window of Tolerance May 17, 2022
- May 12, 2022 How to Make the Most of Your Time Between Sessions May 12, 2022
- May 2, 2022 5 Ideas for Starting a Self-Development Practice May 2, 2022
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April 2022
- Apr 25, 2022 7 Ways to Spend Your Time for Better Mental Health Apr 25, 2022
- Apr 18, 2022 6 Things to Do When You Make a Mistake Apr 18, 2022
- Apr 12, 2022 Emotional Exhaustion: What Is It & What Can You Do About It? Apr 12, 2022
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March 2022
- Mar 28, 2022 5 Ways to Deal With Being Ghosted Mar 28, 2022
- Mar 23, 2022 Gentle Movement Tips for A Healthier Relationship with Exercise Mar 23, 2022
- Mar 15, 2022 5 Things to Do When You Feel Triggered Mar 15, 2022
- Mar 7, 2022 How to Be There for A Friend with Chronic Pain Mar 7, 2022
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February 2022
- Feb 28, 2022 8 Tips for Hard Conversations in Your Relationship Feb 28, 2022
- Feb 21, 2022 How (& Why) You Should Get Clear on Your Values Feb 21, 2022
- Feb 15, 2022 6 Tips To Help You Feel Your Feelings Feb 15, 2022
- Feb 8, 2022 6 Ways Cooking Together Builds Intimacy Feb 8, 2022
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January 2022
- Jan 31, 2022 3 Ways to Celebrate Platonic Relationships This February Jan 31, 2022
- Jan 25, 2022 6 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations with Your Partner Jan 25, 2022
- Jan 19, 2022 5 Tips to Start Journaling for the First Time Jan 19, 2022
- Jan 11, 2022 Reaffirming Your Covid Boundaries Jan 11, 2022
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December 2021
- Dec 23, 2021 8 Ways to Upgrade Your Self-Care Routine in 2022 Dec 23, 2021
- Dec 20, 2021 Making Big Life Decisions In Scary Times Dec 20, 2021
- Dec 13, 2021 6 Little Ways to Improve Your Romantic Relationship Dec 13, 2021
- Dec 6, 2021 Keeping Peace with Your Body During the Holiday Season Dec 6, 2021
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November 2021
- Nov 29, 2021 How to Gently Set Boundaries With Your Family Nov 29, 2021
- Nov 22, 2021 How to Motivate Yourself to Do Boring Life Tasks Nov 22, 2021
- Nov 15, 2021 How to Tell if You’re in a Codependent Relationship Nov 15, 2021
- Nov 1, 2021 Listening to Your Intuition After Trauma Nov 1, 2021
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October 2021
- Oct 25, 2021 What Forgiveness Is and Isn’t Oct 25, 2021
- Oct 19, 2021 Who Can Benefit from Inner Child Work? Oct 19, 2021
- Oct 15, 2021 What are Coping Skills and Why Do I Have Them? Oct 15, 2021
- Oct 11, 2021 How to Move Through Grief with Kindness and Self-Compassion Oct 11, 2021
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September 2021
- Sep 27, 2021 Finding Meaning When Life Is Scary or Confusing Sep 27, 2021
- Sep 17, 2021 Self Care for Days You Can't Get Out of Bed Sep 17, 2021
- Sep 10, 2021 How Affirmations Can Help You Be Kinder To Yourself Sep 10, 2021
- Sep 3, 2021 Helpful Tools for Managing Adult ADHD Sep 3, 2021
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August 2021
- Aug 30, 2021 7 Ways to Get To Know Yourself Better Aug 30, 2021
- Aug 23, 2021 3 Tips for More Effective Communication with Your Teen Aug 23, 2021
- Aug 16, 2021 5 Ways to Cultivate Creativity Aug 16, 2021
- Aug 9, 2021 3 Coping Skills for Managing Depression Aug 9, 2021
- Aug 3, 2021 5 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism Aug 3, 2021
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July 2021
- Jul 27, 2021 How to Tell Someone They've Hurt Your Feelings Jul 27, 2021
- Jul 19, 2021 How ADHD Presents In Adult Women Jul 19, 2021
- Jul 13, 2021 5 Coping Strategies to Try When You’re Feeling Anxious Jul 13, 2021
- Jul 6, 2021 4 Tips for Dealing With a Friend Breakup Jul 6, 2021
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June 2021
- Jun 28, 2021 Naming Your Emotions Jun 28, 2021
- Jun 14, 2021 How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Jun 14, 2021
- Jun 7, 2021 How to Unlink Your Self-Worth From Your Job Status Jun 7, 2021
- Jun 1, 2021 4 Myths About Grief Jun 1, 2021
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May 2021
- May 24, 2021 5 Reasons You Might Consider Ending a Friendship May 24, 2021
- May 18, 2021 Setting Boundaries: Why You Should & What to Say May 18, 2021
- May 10, 2021 6 Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion May 10, 2021
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April 2021
- Apr 30, 2021 Exploring Perfectionism and Being Ok With ‘Good Enough’ Apr 30, 2021
- Apr 26, 2021 3 Things Your Inner Child Needs to Hear from You Apr 26, 2021
- Apr 12, 2021 What to Teach Your Child About Worry Apr 12, 2021
- Apr 6, 2021 6 Tips to Help Improve Your Sleep Apr 6, 2021
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March 2021
- Mar 26, 2021 7 Lesser Known Signs of ADHD Mar 26, 2021
- Mar 18, 2021 Managing Cognitive Distortions Mar 18, 2021
- Mar 15, 2021 10 More Cognitive Distortions to Be Aware Of Mar 15, 2021
- Mar 4, 2021 What is All or Nothing Thinking? Mar 4, 2021
- Mar 1, 2021 8 Common Cognitive Distortions to Watch Out For Mar 1, 2021
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February 2021
- Feb 15, 2021 4 Signs That Your Funk Could Be the Result of Depression Feb 15, 2021
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January 2021
- Jan 28, 2021 6 Things Not to Say to Someone Struggling with Infertility Jan 28, 2021
- Jan 7, 2021 Managing Covid Anxiety in the New Year Jan 7, 2021
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August 2020
- Aug 21, 2020 7 Ways to Remember Your Lost Loved One Aug 21, 2020
- Aug 17, 2020 6 Ways People Have Described What Depression Feels Like Aug 17, 2020
- Aug 10, 2020 4 Ways to Support Someone Struggling With Infertility Aug 10, 2020
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July 2020
- Jul 31, 2020 Mindfulness To Help Anxiety Jul 31, 2020
- Jul 30, 2020 Learning to Reparent Your Inner Child Jul 30, 2020
- Jul 17, 2020 Daily Habits to Help Manage Anxiety in a Healthy Way Jul 17, 2020
- Jul 1, 2020 Racial Justice Resources Jul 1, 2020
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June 2020
- Jun 19, 2020 Processing Non-Death Related Grief Jun 19, 2020
- Jun 5, 2020 How Creativity Helps Mental Health Jun 5, 2020
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May 2020
- May 29, 2020 20 Journal Prompts for Grief + Loss May 29, 2020
- May 22, 2020 4 Ways to Add Mindfulness to Your Daily Routine May 22, 2020
- May 15, 2020 How Grounding Techniques Can Help With Anxiety May 15, 2020
- May 3, 2020 6 Journaling Prompts to Help You Examine Your Relationships May 3, 2020
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April 2020
- Apr 18, 2020 5 Ways to Show Some Self-Compassion Apr 18, 2020
- Apr 5, 2020 Why Conflict In Your Relationship Can Be A Good Thing Apr 5, 2020
- Apr 5, 2020 4 Tips to Help You Cultivate Optimism Apr 5, 2020
- Apr 1, 2020 How to Craft a Joyful Daily Routine Apr 1, 2020
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March 2020
- Mar 6, 2020 Feeling Stuck? Try These 6 Things Mar 6, 2020
- Mar 5, 2020 How to Figure Out What You Want in a Partner Mar 5, 2020
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February 2020
- Feb 23, 2020 How to Cope With Losing Relationships as a Result of Your Chronic Illness Feb 23, 2020
- Feb 7, 2020 Well Rounded Wellness: Exploring the Health Benefits of Spirituality Feb 7, 2020
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January 2020
- Jan 28, 2020 Ways to Cope with Depression After Pregnancy Loss Jan 28, 2020
- Jan 16, 2020 Is Perfectionism Holding You Back? Jan 16, 2020
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December 2019
- Dec 28, 2019 5 Ways Chronic Illness can Affect Your Mental Health Dec 28, 2019
- Dec 20, 2019 How to stop social media from making you feel bad about yourself Dec 20, 2019
- Dec 6, 2019 How to Tap Into and Listen to Your Intuition Dec 6, 2019
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November 2019
- Nov 26, 2019 7 Ways to Communicate More Effectively in Your Relationship Nov 26, 2019
- Nov 15, 2019 What parents of anxious children should know about anxiety Nov 15, 2019
- Nov 9, 2019 5 Signs CBT is Right for You Nov 9, 2019
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October 2019
- Oct 30, 2019 Mindfulness for Stress Relief Oct 30, 2019
- Oct 22, 2019 10 Mindfulness Apps to Improve Your Life Right Now Oct 22, 2019
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September 2019
- Sep 2, 2019 Live with Happiness by Identifying Your Values Sep 2, 2019
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July 2019
- Jul 21, 2019 11 Mindful Quotes for Serenity and Clarity Jul 21, 2019
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June 2019
- Jun 18, 2019 A Blessing for Career and Work Struggles Jun 18, 2019
- Jun 2, 2019 Accepting Yourself Unconditionally, As You Are Jun 2, 2019
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May 2019
- May 26, 2019 5 Things to Know if Your Teen is Dealing with Depression May 26, 2019
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February 2019
- Feb 24, 2019 17 Quotes on Love and Letting Go That'll Help You Move Forward and Heal Again Feb 24, 2019
- Feb 17, 2019 25 Inspiring Quotes That'll Help You Cultivate More Peace, Presence, and Joy in Your Life Feb 17, 2019
- Feb 10, 2019 35 Positive Affirmations for Anxiety and Depression That Will Transform Your Life Feb 10, 2019
- Feb 3, 2019 18 Beautiful Quotes About Intimacy and Love Feb 3, 2019
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January 2019
- Jan 28, 2019 18 Quotes to Inspire Self-Kindness and Self-Compassion Jan 28, 2019
- Jan 20, 2019 4 Tips for Coping with Depression Jan 20, 2019
- Jan 14, 2019 19 Powerful Brene Brown Quotes on Embracing Vulnerability, Love, and Belonging Jan 14, 2019
- Jan 6, 2019 16 Calming Quotes to Relieve Stress and Anxiety Jan 6, 2019
- Jan 3, 2019 7 Ways to Cope When Life is Hard: DBT IMPROVE the moment Jan 3, 2019
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December 2018
- Dec 27, 2018 4 Ways to Train Your Brain for Greater Happiness and Success Dec 27, 2018
- Dec 18, 2018 19 Inspiring Acceptance Quotes on Moving Forward and Letting Go Dec 18, 2018
- Dec 3, 2018 3 Simple Ways to Cultivate Kindness and Self-Compassion Dec 3, 2018
- Dec 2, 2018 29 Life Changing Quotes from Eckhart Tolle to Help You Cultivate Peace and Awaken to Your Life's Purpose Dec 2, 2018
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November 2018
- Nov 22, 2018 12 Quotes to Inspire You to Focus on Yourself Instead of Others Nov 22, 2018
- Nov 20, 2018 15 Beautiful Quotes to Inspire Gratitude Nov 20, 2018
- Nov 18, 2018 3 Ways to Find Meaning and Purpose in Your Life Nov 18, 2018
- Nov 14, 2018 7 Amazing Ways to Practice Gratitude Nov 14, 2018
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October 2018
- Oct 30, 2018 3 Life Changing Poems That You Need to Read Oct 30, 2018
- Oct 28, 2018 5 Things You Need to Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Oct 28, 2018
- Oct 16, 2018 15 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes That Will Help You Feel Less Alone Oct 16, 2018
- Oct 10, 2018 24 Resources for Children and Teens with Anxiety and Their Families Oct 10, 2018
- Oct 5, 2018 3 Tips for Parenting a Child with Chronic Pain Oct 5, 2018
- Oct 4, 2018 12 Quotes That Describe What It's Like to Live with Bipolar Disorder Oct 4, 2018
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September 2018
- Sep 29, 2018 27 Inspirational Quotes That Will Give You Hope and Strength During Hard Times Sep 29, 2018
- Sep 26, 2018 List of Emotions Sep 26, 2018
- Sep 24, 2018 21 Mindfulness Quotes Sep 24, 2018
- Sep 19, 2018 26 Depression Resources for Kids, Teens, and Parents Sep 19, 2018
- Sep 18, 2018 28 Anxiety Resources for Adults Sep 18, 2018
- Sep 16, 2018 15 Quotes That Describe What Depression Feels Like Sep 16, 2018
- Sep 13, 2018 How to Find the Right Psychologist for You Sep 13, 2018
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August 2018
- Aug 8, 2018 3 Ways to Grow from Pain Aug 8, 2018
Caring for an animal can be a lot of work, so why do so many people adopt pets? There are lots of reasons, but a big one is that pets are good for your mental health! Here’s why.