6 Signs It's Time for Couples Counseling

Is it time for you and your partner to start couples counseling?

When you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, it can feel hopeless and frightening. You might wonder what you can do to repair the connection you have and feel like a team again. Couples counseling can make a big difference in the way you communicate and connect with your partner.

There’s no perfect time to start couples counseling, but it’s true that couples often wait for a very long time to get support after they start having problems. The negative patterns that lead to disconnection have more time to get ingrained the longer you wait to change them. Relationship therapy can help you unpack those patterns, no matter when you and your partner choose to come in. 

There are a lot of misconceptions about couples therapy that can lead to couples waiting to get support.

First, couples counseling doesn’t have to be a last resort. You don’t even have to be going through something serious to start couples counseling. It can even be a good idea to start therapy before you have major issues, so that you have a solid foundation of communication skills and healthy conflict patterns when things come up.

Next, attending couples therapy doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with your relationship or that you’ve failed in any way. Relationships are hard, and when there’s dysfunction in our important relationships, it can impact all parts of your life. Seeing a therapist to help your relationship 

It’s also important to note that couples counseling isn’t a quick fix. Therapy of any type takes work, and there are times when it will be hard or distressing. But there are also major benefits of couples therapy, including: 

• Learning and practicing tools for healthy communication

• Repairing and rebuilding emotional connection

• Finding growth as a couple

• Discussing current areas of improvement 

• Establishing a stable foundation for the future

• Strengthening intimacy

• Regaining warmth, closeness, and support

• Finding ways to resolve issues causing distress

• Making decisions in alignment with each other and your values

• Feeling confident in your ability to get through future issues

What brings couples to couples counseling?

There are lots of reasons why couples seek out couples therapy. While counseling can be immensely helpful during moments of relationship crisis, it’s not the only thing that brings couples to therapy. 

These are just some of the reasons why couples start therapy:

• Communication issues

• Emotional distance

• Intimacy issues

• Affairs & infidelity

• General relationship dissatisfaction

• Navigating conflict

• Rebuilding trust

• Work-life balance difficulties

• Parenting differences

• Difficulties with in-laws or family members

• Substance use

• Differences in values

• Family planning and whether to have children

• Managing parenting differences

• Fairly dividing household and relationship labor

• Blended family dynamics

• Codependency

There’s no right or wrong reason to start seeing a couples counselor. But if you’re wondering when it’s time to start couples counseling with your partner, here are some signs: 

It’s been on your mind

If you’re reading this article, clearly this topic is on your mind. Of course, you don’t have to act on every thought you have, but if this is something you keep coming back to, it can be a sign that it’s the right time to talk about it with your partner and look for a relationship counselor. 

Trust has been broken

It’s really hard to be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. Trust being broken between romantic partners can be hard to recover from, but it’s a lot harder without the support and guidance of an experienced couples therapist. If you’re struggling with trust in your relationship, therapy can help you work through the painful emotions and rebuild trust and safety. 

You don’t communicate well with each other

Like trust, communication is essential for healthy relationships. If you don’t communicate well, it can feel impossible to interact, even about small things. Feeling like you can’t talk to the person you love can be heartbreaking! Couples counseling can help you discover your negative communication patterns and practice healthier ways to communicate with one another.  

You’re stuck in conflict

It’s normal to have conflict in relationships, but it’s not normal to fight all of the time. Even when you disagree, it’s possible to end conflicts so that you don’t get caught in a cycle of fighting. Research actually shows that most conflicts between couples can’t be easily solved and are perpetual, so it’s crucial to learn how to move forward from those moments. Relationship therapy can help you handle conflict in a healthier way.

There’s emotional distance

Disconnection can be painful in romantic relationships. When there’s a lack of intimacy, whether that be emotional or physical or both, it’s distressing and often hard to talk about. A couples therapist can help you find ways to have hard conversations while helping each other feel safe. 

You’re going through a big life transition

Life transitions are major sources of stress, and stress can wreak havoc on our close relationships. If you’re already at your limit with stress, finding time for therapy might not seem appealing, but it can be a game-changer to give yourself another source of support when you’re going through a difficult time. 

Are you interested in couples counseling? Our clinicians at Hope+Wellness offer therapy for couples in our office and online. We serve the McLean, Great Falls, Falls Church, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC regions, as well as offering online services in DC, MD, VA, and all PSYPACT states. Get in touch with us here to get started.