IMPROVE the Moment: Coping with Distress with DBT
One of the hard truths in life is that no matter how much self care, healing, or therapy you go through, there are still always going to be things in our lives we can’t control, and sometimes those things are going to be painful. From large scale things we can’t change, like death or disease, to small scale things like disappointing others or feeling heartbreak, there will always be things out of the orbit of our control.
That loss of control we experience can make us feel helpless, or anxious, or depressed, or even scared. It’s hard to come to terms with things we can’t control, and it takes a lot of practice. And without learning how to practice, sometimes it feels easier in the moment to find ways to numb or distract ourselves instead–usually because we don’t have the resources to navigate these feelings any other way! And while distraction or self numbing can ease suffering in the short term, they don’t offer us long term solutions, and can create new obstacles for us to overcome when we’re finally ready to access what we’re feeling.
Within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) there’s something called distress tolerance skills. These skills, habits and practices are things we can learn within a supportive environment, and they can help us learn to tolerate and navigate through distress, rather than be taken over by it.
One of these skills is the IMPROVE the moment skill.
As you may have guessed, IMPROVE is an acronym, to help you remember the components of the skill which include:
I: imagery.
Imagine yourself in a different situation than where you are now. Take yourself somewhere safe, calming, reassuring, and grounding. As you imagine yourself there, try to tap into what those safe feelings are. Are you breathing deeply? Are you grounded in your environment?
Another option for Imagery is to imagine the best outcome of the scenario you’re currently in. What is the best option here? How can you get yourself there?
M: Meaning
It can be easier to cope with pain when you’re also able to find meaning in your situation. Are you spiritual? Can you find spiritual meaning in your experience? You may need to talk to your spiritual advisors or community to explore this.
P: Prayer
Prayer can be incredibly helpful in times of crisis, and it doesn’t have to be religious nature. If you consider yourself spiritual, prayer is a way to connect with your spirituality by simply putting intention behind your words or rituals in an effort to connect with something outside of yourself.
R: Relaxation.
What can you do in moments of distress to help yourself relax? Can you practice breathwork or grounding exercises? Can you engage in a full body scan, checking in with each part of your body to see where it needs attention and care, or where you’re holding your tension? Can you go for a walk? Try to keep a list of effective relaxation methods for yourself, so that you can easily refer to it in moments of high stress.
O: One Thing in the Moment.
Distress often forces us out of the present moment, ruminating on past mistakes or feeling anxious about the future. When you make an effort to simply bring your attention to what you’re doing in the present moment, you can help reduce that distress and rumination.
V: Vacation.
Can you find a way to take some distance from this experience? You may not be able to actually take a vacation, but finding ways to give yourself intentional breaks is key when managing distress. Staying in the thick of a distressing moment can actually make it harder to navigate through–giving yourself time to destress can help you gain perspective, and feel more able to manage what you need to.
E: Encouragement.
What you say to yourself matters! When you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, try to notice how it makes you feel. Probably bad! When you take time to say nice things to yourself like, “this sucks but I can get through it” how do you feel? You don’t need to say something overly positive that you don’t believe–but even just giving yourself kudos for getting through a hard situation can be very powerful.
Are you interested in DBT? Our clinicians at Hope+Wellness offer DBT therapy in our office and online. We serve the McLean, Great Falls, Falls Church, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC regions, as well as offering online services in DC, MD, VA, and all PSYPACT states. If you would like to talk to one of our therapists, please contact info@hope-wellness.com
Within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) there’s something called distress tolerance skills. These skills, habits and practices are things we can learn within a supportive environment, and they can help us learn to tolerate and navigate through distress, rather than be taken over by it. One of these skills is the IMPROVE the moment skill