4 Tips to Help You Cultivate Optimism

What does it mean to be optimistic?

Being optimistic is being able to find a positive outlook–even in negative situations. 

Did you just roll your eyes a bit? It can be hard to commit to optimism. The world today is filled with natural disasters, poverty, war, and various political and social crises. It can be hard to balance all of that news–news that we now get at the speed of light thanks to social media–and still remain optimistic. And that’s not even considering the events of your daily life. 

But, as far fetched as it might seem, being optimistic can not only allow you to enjoy your day to day life more, through finding those silver linings, but it can also: 

• Boost your physical health

• Boost your emotional health

• Facilitate greater achievements

• Decrease stress

• And even increase longevity 

What makes up an optimistic mindset?

Is it just ignoring bad things when they happen? Is it ignoring the bad feelings we get? Or pretending that things are great when they’re not?

Nope. 

Optimists aren’t in denial. They don’t ignore when negative things happen, nor do they refuse to let themselves feel any sort of negative or uncomfortable emotion. The difference between optimists and pessimists, is that when such a negative event occurs, optimists allow themselves to see both the negatives and the positives. 

Let’s say you’re going up for a new job. 

A pessimist might think, “What’s the point? Nothing good ever happens to me anyway.” Then, if they don’t get the job, that thinking would just be reaffirmed. They would see the negative outcome as an inevitability, and a pattern they can’t escape, rather than a one time instance. 

An optimist on the other hand, might think, “What’s the worst the could happen? I might as well try.” And then, if they didn’t get the job, instead of thinking “See? Trying is pointless.” they might think something like, “That stinks, but this must not be the right fit for me. Let’s see what I can use from the experience going forward for the next thing I try.” 

See the difference? 

It’s not denying the unfortunate event or ignoring the feelings of disappointment. Optimism in this case is seeing that not getting that job is an isolated incident, and one that can be reflected on and learned from. 

So, how can you shift your thinking?

It would be great if you could just say, “Okay! I’m going to be an optimist now!” Unfortunately, as is the case with any shift in mindset, it’s going to take a bit more work than that. Below are 4 things you can do to start reflecting on and shifting your own mindset to a more optimistic one: 

1). Examine where you find happiness: 

One reason pessimists are pessimistic is because happiness for them is attached to some external source, rather than an innate sense inside of them. They will be happy if they have the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect partner, the perfect social life, etc. The pressure for perfection leads to stress, can exacerbate anxiety and depression, and completely hinders their capacity for happiness when things aren’t perfect. 

Instead, learning to be happy as you are–and seeing those other things as wonderful, happy bonuses–can stop the catastrophizing thinking that comes with negative events (not getting a job, a break up, etc.) 

2). Practice Kindness:

It’s been shown that being kind or helpful to others can actually improve your mood. But kindness doesn’t have to be reserved to just acts of charity, it can also be about questioning your perspective. Kindness can be just imagining that everyone is trying their best, at any given time. We all have bad days. Keeping that in mind can help you offer more compassion and kindness to everyone you interact with. If someone isn’t friendly or accommodating to you, maybe it’s not because they are rude or hate you. Maybe it’s because they are having a terrible day. 

When you allow this room for compassion for others, you are also able to start to judge yourself less harshly. And, when things do go “wrong” it gives you a new perspective. Maybe the person hanging up abruptly actually had nothing to do with you. De-centering yourself like that can help to remind you that there are things outside of your control and that all you can do is make the best of the situation you’re in. 

3). Take time to notice what affects your mood: 

Are there things that make you feel happier and more optimistic? Add more of those into your life. Are there things that drag your mood down, and make you more pessimistic? Consider how to limit those things, if not remove them from your routine completely. 

For example: are you overwhelmed by negative sentiments as soon as you log into Twitter? Maybe it’s time to cut down the list of people you’re following. Narrow it down to people who post things that don’t sour your outlook or make you feel bad. 

4). Keep a gratitude journal: 

It can be easy to overlook all the things we love about our lives. Many of the things we’re grateful for go ignored and unacknowledged until we lose them. 

Instead, take a few minutes each day and make a list of the things that happened that day that you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it can be as simple as “someone held a door open for me while my hands were full” or “my coworker said I was doing a great job.”

Learning to recognize and appreciate all of those small, positive things in a day can help shift your mindset. Once you start noticing them you won’t be able to stop–and soon your outlook will be vastly more positive than it was before! 

Optimism, like many mindset shifts, is a fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of deal. Even if you don’t think those tips will work, pretend you do! Try it for a day, a week, a month. See what happens when you allow yourself to focus on the positive–even if it feels fake at first. If you need support in shifting your mindset to a more optimistic one, our counselors can guide you through the process. 

therapists in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

11 Mindful Quotes for Serenity and Clarity

So often we hear messages from society that we need to be fitter, prettier, more youthful, wealthier and to reach some future state of being in order to be happy but the truth is that peace and contentment are available to you in the here and now.

It takes committed insight and intention to connect with life as it is and to see reality clearly rather than your distortions of it. Mindfulness helps you cultivate an awareness and peace with life, in the present moment, as it is. It releases you from the patterns of negative thinking, feeling, and behaving that cause you pain and suffering and helps you reconnect to yourself, to become awakened to serenity and calmness that sustains you throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Below are 11 Mindful Quotes for Serenity and Clarity

“Gratitude reminds us to be like plants, which turn toward, not away from the light.”

— Mary Jane Ryan

“We find out what we really value in the daily decisions that we make, so we might do well to stop occasionally and respectfully ask ourselves: What truly matters? Asked regularly and fearlessly, it is the single question that will help you get to the heart of your life.”

— James E. Ryan

“When you know who you are; when your mission is clear and you burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will, no cold can touch your heart; no deluge can dampen your purpose. You know that you are alive.”

— Chief Seattle

“When we let go of the need to prove ourselves, nothing and no one can disturb the quiet and peace of our minds.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better than the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“If we can dance like fire, we’d never get burned.”

— Ben Harper

“You are worthy. You are not broken; you are, in fact, beautifully whole. No matter what you’ve been through, you have the power to write a brave, new ending. It will take work. It will take courage. But healing is possible, and the gift of your trauma is that it creates resiliency and reveals your strength.”

— Liz Arch

“Mindfulness is being aware of, or bringing attention to, this moment in time, on purpose and with intention. So w hen we go for a mindful walk and really notice every little detail around us — trees, cars, little flowers growing out of small cracks, a pretty cat crossing the road — rather than creating “To Do Lists,” we may feel truly enchanted with life.”

— Patrizia Collard

“Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

35 Positive Affirmations for Anxiety and Depression That Will Transform Your Life

Thoughts affect your reality — they create an energy and perspective that shape your actions. Positive affirmations can help you adopt a positive mindset and changes in your life. Although there are many things in life we cannot choose, we can always choose new thoughts and perspectives — new ways of thinking and possibilities for the future.

Here are 35 positive affirmations from author and speaker Louise Hay, to inspire you and heal your life of anxiety, stress, and depression, to bring you comfort, joy, and peace.

“All is well in my world. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe!”

“It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”

“The point of power is always in the present moment.”

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

“I forgive myself and set myself free.”

“I am Divinely guided and protected at all times.”

“I trust the process of life.”

“Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.”

“I am loved, and I am at peace.”

“My happy thoughts help create my healthy body.”

“I love and approve of myself.”

“I have compassion for all.”

“I deserve all that is good.”

“I now live in limitless love, light, and joy.”

“It is safe for me to speak up for myself.”

“I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.”

“Today is a sacred gift from Life.”

“I cross all bridges with joy and ease.”

“I experience love wherever I go.”

“I do not have to prove myself to anyone.”

“I trust my intuition. I am willing to listen to that still, small voice within.”

“I am greeted by love wherever I go.”

“The past is over.”

“I welcome miracles into my life.”

“I am in the process of positive change.”

“Nourishing myself is a joyful experience, and I am worth the time spent on my healing.”

“Whatever I need to know is revealed to me at exactly the right time.”

“I trust the process of life.”

“I listen with love to my body’s messages.”

“I forgive myself for not being perfect.”

“All is well in my world. I am calm, happy and content.”

“I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.”

“Life is very simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.”

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me.”

“I am at home in my body.”

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Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!