Spending Time with Your Inner Child this Autumn

What’s your inner child?

Your inner child is all of the younger versions of yourself that still live inside of your mind. Imagine yourself like a tree–as the tree grows, it creates rings on the inside of it, marking how many growth cycles it’s been through. Your inner child is like that, the rings of your growth. You don’t abandon each version of yourself as you get older, you simply build upon it. 

Their hopes, their needs, their dreams, their fears, and their wounds all live within you, making you responsible for them. We call this sort of responsibility the reparenting of your inner child because it allows for you, now grown, to provide the care and support your younger self needed to that younger version of you inside of yourself. You are parent and child at once. 

Why is connecting to them important?

Taking time to connect with your inner child allows you to tap into those needs and fears and wounds. Wounds left untended from our childhood don’t just go away, they seep into our adult lives & relationships. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re trying to tend to those wounds through our behaviors! That’s why taking intentional time to get to know your inner child, and explore where they might be hurting is so important. 

What does it mean to care for your inner child?

Taking time to care for your inner child is about taking intentional time with yourself. Notice your emotional reactions to things, and make an effort to investigate where those instincts come from. Often at the root of an emotional reaction is a childhood wound–one we may or may not be aware of. And remember as you take this time: what you find may seem insignificant to an adult but can be a major moment for a child. When we’re children, experiences are all new. That means we’re not able to apply the logic of context to a situation, and may draw the wrong conclusions. Be kind to your inner child and remember that their feelings are real and huge to them. It’s not your job to logic those feelings away, but to offer a safe space to name them, sit with them, and explore what those feelings say about your emotional needs. 

Use the changing of the seasons as an excuse to make plans with your inner child. 

As the weather cools, it’s finally starting to feel like autumn! There are many ways you can connect to your inner child throughout the year, but why not have a little seasonal fun with it? Here are just a few ideas on how you can use the changing of the seasons as an opportunity to connect with your inner child: 

Visit a corn maze: 

This is both a fun group activity (get all your friend’s inner children to come along to!) or an opportunity for some one on one, mindful time with your inner child. Walk through the maze as they would, what choices would they make? How would they have fun? Indulge their playful spirit! 

Pick out & decorate pumpkins:

Getting creative with your inner child is a great way to allow them to express themselves, and seasonal decorating is just one way to do it! You can let them get their hands messy and carve a pumpkin, or you could keep it whole and have some fun painting it. Let your inner child guide the creative process, and see what they come up with! 

Make your own Halloween costume: 

Just one more creative way to connect to your inner child’s playfulness and creativity. Who would your inner child want to be for Halloween? Did they have a hero or a favorite character? How would they like to dress up as them? Would they have fun piecing the costume together, DIY style? 

Go apple picking: 

Spending time in nature is great both for you and your inner child! Go for an autumn hike or go to an apple orchard to spend an afternoon walking around, smelling the crisp air, stepping on crunchy leaves, and picking delicious apples to bring home with you. Maybe you and your inner child can bake them into an apple pie for a sweet treat later! 

If you’re looking to go deeper into your inner child work, our therapists can help support you. Get in touch with us today to schedule an appointment!

5 Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

5 Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

Have you ever felt mentally refreshed after spending time outside?

The idea that getting some fresh air can be beneficial to health is not a new one. It’s go-to advice for many people, because being outside in nature actually is good for you in a number of ways. 

Physically, moving your body can help you release stress, process emotions, and feel more energized. Mentally, spending time outside in nature can leave you feeling more mindful of the present moment and connected to the world around you, which can boost feelings of happiness. 

Most of us spend almost all day staring at some screen or another, and it takes its toll on our mental and physical well-being. Our bodies haven’t evolved to support us as we sit and stare at a screen, so spending all day doing that can lead to some pretty serious aches and pains. Heading outside when you have the chance is a nice change of scenery!

Nature means different things to different people. You don’t have to be deep in a forest or at the top of a mountain to benefit from nature - you can get just as much from a walk down the street as a long hike. What matters is being present to enjoy the moment and notice what’s happening around you. 

Why is nature so good for mental health? Here are 5 mental health benefits of spending time in nature: 

Helps you practice mindfulness 

Research has shown that feeling connected with nature plays a role in how it benefits you. The more strongly you feel connected to nature and the environment around you, the more positive impact on your wellbeing.

To feel more connected to nature, practice noticing your surroundings, and using your senses to take in all the information that nature has to offer. Focus on each sense one at a time to help make sense of what you’re experiencing and as a bonus it will help keep you in the present moment to enjoy it while it’s happening. 

Lowers your stress level

Life moves pretty fast, and it’s hard to keep up sometimes. Stress is something that we all deal with, but we don't all deal with it well. Some coping skills are more supportive than others, and spending time outside might help you feel less stressed than your other options. 

For example, if you’re stressed about work, you can cope in a number of ways. Just to name a few, you could vent to your friends, zone out in front of the TV, move your body, engage in a hobby, or practice positive affirmations. You could also go outside and let nature help. 

Spending time noticing what’s going on around you - which plants are growing, what animals you see or hear, the feeling of the breeze on your face - gives you something else to focus on while you calm down. In fact, research has found that being outside lowers levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, so the stress-lowering powers of nature can actually be measured. 

Improves concentration 

If you feel like you have a hard time concentrating on things these days, you’re not alone. Research has reported that our attention spans are getting shorter with the popularity of screen time and social media. In 2000, the human attention span was measured to be approximately 12 seconds, and by 2015 it had shrunk to just 8.2 seconds. 

Fortunately, spending time outside can help improve concentration and other cognitive abilities, so when you’ve had enough screen time, try heading outside.  

Gives a sense of wonder and awe

Life is a beautiful, wonderful mystery, and spending time in nature can reinforce that. Nature is often beautiful, awe inspiring, and helps us feel connected to something larger than ourselves. When we spend time in nature, we can see the ways that everything interacts with each other and realize that we are part of the interaction too. 

We can walk on ground that’s been there for millennia, and gaze up at trees that have been growing for hundreds or even thousands of years. Nature can inspire gratitude, wonder, and awe, which are all beautiful parts of being alive. 

Changes your perspective 

Nature can give us a perspective that is otherwise too abstract for our minds to understand. We often think of time in terms of the human lifespan, but nature is on a different timeline. Nature takes her time, and the bigger picture is slowly revealed. 

Think of the Grand Canyon, which started with water flowing in a river on a flat plain, and slowly dug away at the rock to form one of the most beautiful canyons in the world. Nature doesn’t worry about anyone else’s timeline. Day by day, you probably couldn’t see the changes in the rock, but after thousands of years, the difference is clear. 

Zooming out and thinking of the big picture can help you manage worries and uncomfortable feelings, because you know they won’t last forever. 

So, the next time you have a few minutes, get outside. See how it feels!

Spending time in nature has many mental health benefits, and it’s a coping skill you can keep in your mental health toolbox for when you need it. If you’re looking for other skills and tools to help support your mental health, working with a therapist can help you find what works for you.  

How to Craft a Joyful Daily Routine

Are you intentional with your daily routine? Or do you find yourself just going through the motions?

When a routine feels like drudgery, instead of something you’re excited about, it can feel as though joyful moments are few and far between in your daily life. The key is working in new joyful moments into your day, either by altering your current routine, or creating a new one altogether. 

First: What Brings Joy into Your Life? 

Take a few moments to reflect on your typical day. What parts of your day do you enjoy the most? Is it enjoying a hot cup of coffee in the morning? Is it calling a friend on your commute home from work? 

Make a list of these moments. If you can’t think of them now, keep a notepad with you, or start a note on your phone to keep track of them as they happen throughout the day. 

When you have your list of things that bring joy into your day, make not of how frequently you do those things. Rate it on a scale of one to three:

• 1: rarely do you do this

• 2: you do this somewhat regularly

• 3: you do this all the time

Take a look at the things you’ve given a one or a two. Do you not do them often because they don’t improve your mood that much, or have you just not found a way to work them into your day more regularly? 

Write out how you usually spend your time each day. It doesn’t have to be super detailed, but give yourself a general outline of what goes on. Where can you add in those 1’s or 2’s? Can you shift your routine around to make more room for them? 

For example, if your favorite part of the morning is sitting and reading with a fresh cup of coffee, consider giving yourself more time to do it! Can you alter your nighttime routine to include setting your coffee maker to brew automatically in the morning, or shower at night to free up time in the morning? Maybe set your clothes out the night before so you don’t have to take time away from your morning routine figuring out what to wear. 

When you’ve found what parts of your day make you the happiest, try combining them with parts of your routine you don’t enjoy. 

For example, a friend struggled to motivate herself to maintain her morning and night hygiene routine. Getting up, brushing her teeth, washing her face, etc. It just wasn’t fun for her! So she didn’t like doing it, which made those two parts of her days seem like a burden. 

What she did love was setting aside time to listen to her favorite music, and playing with her cat. So, in order to make her routine more joyful, she combined all three! Now, when she needs to get that hygiene routine going, she puts on her favorite album. She gives herself a few minutes to sit and enjoy it (or dance around) before migrating into the bathroom while it continues to play on. And when she brushes her teeth, she plays with her cat’s laser pointer. So while she’s doing something boring, that she disliked before, she’s able to enjoy it! 

Finally, consider what is missing from your routine. 

Once you’ve identified your favorite parts of your day (and hopefully found ways to brighten up your least favorite parts) consider: is your daily routine missing something? 

Ask yourself “What sorts of things do I enjoy doing when I have free time?” 

Maybe you like trying new restaurants. Or patronizing local coffee shops. Maybe you like to learn or craft, or are a film buff. Think of your hobbies. Make a list similar to the first one, where you rank these hobbies on a scale of one to three, using the same scale.

Now, how can you add them into your routine? 

You might not be able to add in everything you want to, but you can probably make some small adjustments! If you love being outside and going to local coffee shops, find one nearby. Choose one day a week to walk there and have your morning coffee routine take place there. 

If you like to learn, think about what subjects interest you most. Even if you’re busy you can find ways to add some learning into your day. Maybe there’s a podcast on the subject you can listen to while you commute, or shower or cook. 

Or, leave some space, either in your daily routine or at least once a week, where nothing is structured or scheduled. Use that time to follow your whims and passions. What can you do during that time to bring yourself some more joy? 

Crafting a joyful routine is all about small, intentional decision making.

 Rather than just trying to get through the day and achieve as much as you can, try to shift your mindset. Think instead, what will make me feel most fulfilled at the end of this day? What will leave me feeling joyful and excited to start again tomorrow? 

Crafting a joyful routine is a wonderful act of self care. If you need help figuring out how to add more joy into your daily routine, our therapists can help. Get in touch today!

therapist in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!