The Mental Health Benefits of Having Pets

Have you ever noticed that spending time with an animal can make you feel great?

Whether it’s the wagging tail of a dog greeting you when you come home, the soft purring of a cat curled up on your lap, or the calming sight of fish swimming in a tank, pets have an undeniable way of bringing joy into our lives, and that joy can make a big difference in your mental health. Pets offer us comfort and unconditional love, which can be protective in times when you’re struggling with your mental health. 

If you’ve ever wondered why so many people are drawn to pet ownership, it might surprise you just how much our furry (or scaly!) friends help improve our well-being, even if they’re a lot of work sometimes. Animals offer us far more than simply companionship - they become a part of our lives and our well-being, helping us to thrive mentally, emotionally, and even socially. 

Why We’re Drawn to Pets

Pets offer a deep sense of companionship, loyalty, and love. Animals don’t judge us or make us feel bad about ourselves; they simply love us. In a world that often feels overwhelming, pets provide an unwavering, safe source of affection and comfort. Taking care of a pet can remind us to take care of ourselves. After all - who’s going to take care of your beloved pet if you aren’t able to? Taking care of yourself helps you take care of your pet, and this can be helpful for those of us who feel stretched thin by responsibilities and expectations. 

The bond between humans and animals is truly unique, and the benefits of having a pet go beyond just companionship. Here are a few ways that having pets can benefit your mental health:

Manage stress

Studies have demonstrated that simply petting an animal can reduce stress. Stroking a cat’s fur or hugging a dog lowers your level of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, and promotes relaxation. Because of this, having a pet nearby can make stressful situations feel more manageable. 

In addition to lowering our stress hormone levels, pets offer us a reprieve from the stresses of daily life. Their presence provides an escape from our fast-paced world, encouraging us to slow down and live in the moment. Just watching your pet go about their day can be a soothing, calming experience.

Provide companionship

In moments of loneliness, having a pet by your side can make all the difference. Pets provide nonjudgmental companionship, offering unconditional love and support without any expectations. They are always there for us, whether we’re having a great day or a difficult one. 

For women who often juggle multiple roles—whether it's in the workplace, at home, or in relationships—having a pet can provide a sense of stability and comfort that feels grounding. The act of simply being in the presence of an animal has been shown to release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and reduces feelings of isolation.

Give us a routine

Caring for a pet adds structure to our day, giving us a sense of purpose and routine, which is especially helpful during periods of uncertainty. We tend to be creatures of habit, and having a routine can be protective for your mental health, especially when times are tough. Knowing that you need to take the dog out or give the cat his medicine adds structure and purpose to your day to day routine. Our pets’ routines can give us something positive to focus on, which can be calming.

Encourage physical activity

Moving your body can boost your mood, reduce anxiety, and even improve your energy levels.  Pets give us a perfect opportunity to engage in physical activity. This is especially true for pets that require lots of activity, like dogs. Pets keep us moving, whether we’re taking the dog for a walk, playing fetch, or chasing the cat around the house.. Physical activity has a profound impact on mental health, boosting mood, reducing anxiety, and improving overall energy levels. Even if you don’t have a dog, spending time with pets, playing, grooming, or caring for them, creates small but meaningful moments of movement and engagement.

Facilitate social connections

Pets help us connect with other people, which is essential to us as social animals. Think about it -  pets are great conversation starters! Whether it’s chatting with other dog owners at the park or striking up a conversation at the vet’s office, pets create opportunities for social interaction that we wouldn’t always get without them. Even for those of us who struggle with anxiety in social situations, pets can act as an icebreaker, making it easier to connect with others.

If you’re feeling isolated, particularly if you work from home or live alone, having a pet can fill that void. Surveys of pet owners have shown that people who own pets often feel a stronger sense of community and belonging, even if it’s just from connecting with fellow pet owners. Reducing loneliness and fostering a sense of inclusion and community can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. 

Help explore new interests

In addition to facilitating social connections, becoming a pet owner can introduce you to new hobbies and interests. Whether it’s learning about pet care, joining a community of pet lovers, or discovering a favorite walking route, pets open the door to new experiences that enrich our lives. Trying new things is powerful for our brains - it can help support our cognitive abilities, and be protective as we age, in addition to providing us with variety and fun. 

Encourage mindfulness and staying present

Animals live entirely in the present moment. Our pets can teach us to be more connected to the present rather than worrying about the future or stressing about the past. Pets don’t worry about what people think of them. They don’t care about your job or your love life, or that chore you’ve been avoiding. They just care about being with you, right now, which can be a helpful reminder to enjoy all of life’s moments, big or small. Pets encourage us to be more mindful of the here and now—something that can be incredibly healing for our mental health. Mindfulness is a powerful skill that can help with anxiety, depression, and even chronic pain relief. 

Show us unconditional love

There’s nothing like experiencing the unconditional love of a pet. We are the entire world to our beloved animals, and it’s clear to see when they’re delighted as you walk through the door, when they curl up next to you, or when they respond to your voice. Pets offer us unconditional love, even when we feel like we don’t deserve it, which can be especially powerful.

Give us a reason to keep going

Being a person is hard, and there are times when it’s tough to find a reason to keep going. Pets  can be a big source of comfort during tough times. Our pets give us a sense of stability in our lives, and can make us feel needed. Caring for pets can help us feel a sense of purpose that’s greater than ourselves, and that can make a big difference for people. After all, that’s why people are drawn to art, religion, and nature, to name a few. 

Pet ownership isn’t the only way to tend to your mental health, of course. Making time for regular self care, social connections, and working with a therapist are other ways to support your mental health. If you’d like to start working with a therapist, our clinicians are accepting appointments. Get started here.

I Hurt My Friend's Feelings, What Do I Do Now?

Hurt feelings are never an easy thing to navigate in a relationship, especially in an intimate relationship of any kind–whether that’s a romantic relationship, a sibling, a close friend, etc. And while we’ve touched on how to let someone know they’ve hurt your feelings, we haven’t yet explored what you should do if you’re the one who hurt your loved ones feelings. 

As you navigate your response, try to keep a few things in mind: 

All relationships have conflict. 

We can only avoid conflict by avoiding our true feelings in a relationship, so it’s not necessarily a sign that the relationship is a bad one. And hurting someone’s feelings doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. We’re all wounded and trying our best, and sometimes we misstep. 

It was brave for your loved one to tell you that their feelings were hurt. 

While it’s completely understandable for your own feelings to smart when you hear they’ve felt hurt by you, try to remember they’re being vulnerable with you because they trust the relationship can survive the conflict. Which brings us to the third reminder…

Taking time to talk to you about their hurt feelings is a sign that your relationship means a lot to your friend or loved one, not the other way around. 

If they didn’t care about your relationship, working toward repair for a stronger relationship wouldn’t matter. While it can feel like they’re upset at you when you’re getting through this, hold that security close when you feel vulnerable, and remind yourself that working through this is the goal for both of you. 

With those reminders in mind, here are three things you can do when you’ve hurt a loved ones feelings: 

Work to understand before saying your piece: 

Give your loved one space to explain why their feelings are hurt. What was it that you said or did that hurt them? What was happening in that moment for them? Rather than jumping right into what it was you intended, let them share with you how they experienced the situation. When you understand what was happening for them, you can more clearly understand the impact of your own behavior. Remember, they’re being very vulnerable with you. Give them space to say what they need and really try to hear them before saying your piece. 

When it is your turn, explain don’t defend: 

Everyone accidentally hurts their friend’s or loved ones from time to time. We’re all working through our own wounds and communication blocks, so misunderstandings are common–especially in close relationships where your most vulnerable insecurities are more prone to be triggered. 

Instead of getting defensive over the intention of your words, trust that your friend knows you didn’t intend to hurt them–they probably wouldn’t be vulnerable enough to share their feelings with someone they thought wanted to hurt them. It’s fine to explain how you were experiencing the situation simply, without blaming them for misunderstanding, but understand that your intentions for an interaction might not match the impact of your behavior within that interaction. It’s important to apologize for how your words or behavior were actually received if it didn’t line up with how you intended them.  

Figure out what to do if something like this comes up again: 

What makes you feel safe being vulnerable with one another? What was it exactly that brought this conflict up? How can you be mindful of what you’ve learned about one another as you go forward in your relationship? Present conflicts often dig at old wounds, so if you can work together to understand where the root of the pain is coming from, you can work together to avoid this sort of conflict or hurt feelings in the future. 

Do you struggle to communicate when someone lets you know that you’ve hurt their feelings? We can help support you. Reach out today to get in touch with one of our clinicians! 

7 Things to Do When You’re Lonely

Do you struggle with feeling lonely?

We all feel lonely from time to time, but studies show that loneliness is an increasingly large problem for mental and physical wellbeing. Since the pandemic, loneliness has increased.

Loneliness and social isolation are often thought to be the same thing, but there’s actually an important difference. As the CDC explains, “Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the amount of social contact. Social isolation is a lack of social connections. Social isolation can lead to loneliness in some people, while others can feel lonely without being socially isolated.” You can become lonely from social isolation, but social isolation is not a requirement for loneliness. 

Why are we lonely?

Everyone has moments where they feel lonely. When loneliness doesn’t pass, it can be very distressing. Part of the reason why loneliness is so prevalent is that, as a culture, we tend to value independence, often at the expense of our health. Humans are meant to live and be supported in communities, as we’re social creatures. When society tells you that success means being able to do everything on your own, it can be hard to let go of that message. 

A study from Harvard shows that “36% of all Americans—including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children—feel “serious loneliness.” While we were lonely before the pandemic, the stress and isolation of the early pandemic days and the way it shifted how we live and work had a serious impact on loneliness. It was hard enough before the pandemic to get everything done that you needed to and make time for social connections. Now 3 years later, we’re exhausted mentally and physically from coping, and it might feel even harder to maintain the social connections that keep us from feeling lonely. 

It’s also been shown in studies that marginalized groups, like Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, immigrants, LGBTQ folks, and disabled people, tend to feel loneliness at higher rates than non-marginalized groups. Discrimination, oppression, barriers to healthcare and other services, and stigma are some reasons why marginalized groups are more likely to experience loneliness and social isolation. 

What does loneliness feel like?

You probably already know that loneliness doesn’t feel great. Feeling lonely is a negative emotion, so it can be distressing and painful. Remember, you don’t have to actually be socially isolated to feel lonely. You can be surrounded by people and feel lonely. 

Often, loneliness isn’t actually about not having people in your life, but not having strong connections to the people in your life. We all like to feel seen and like we matter to other people. When you don’t have a lot of people who you can connect with in a real way, it can feel like no one understands you.

Being lonely has real, measurable effects on health and wellbeing. Loneliness can lead to: 

• Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

• An increased risk for dementia

• Heart disease and stroke

• Thoughts of suicide

• Premature death

• Sleep problems

• Substance use

Loneliness has a serious impact on our lives, but there are things you can do to cope with loneliness and to minimize its effects. 

How can you cope with feeling lonely? Here are 7 suggestions: 

Join things 

One of the best ways to build connections with people is to put yourself out there and join things. This might seem like something you will never do, but it really does make a difference. It’s going to be impossible to build new connections if you don’t try some new things, or you would have made those connections already. Even though it seems intimidating, try joining a club, organization, hobby group, or class. Start small, and go from there as you build confidence in your ability to put yourself out there. 

The key here is to find something that is important to you or that you really connect with. If you really love animals, call your local animal shelter or humane society to see if they need help, or sign up to be a part time pet sitter. If you like to read, check out your local bookstore to see if they have any upcoming events, or a book club you can join. If you’re interested in art, see if there are any art classes or events at local galleries that you can check out. 

Be kind to yourself 

Being lonely is tricky enough, so try not to be hard on yourself for feeling the way you feel. Even though it’s painful, it’s okay to feel what you feel. You deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion, from others as well as from yourself. 

Social media also has a big impact on loneliness. When you can see an endless stream of pictures of other people having fun together, it can make you feel even more alone. Remember that you’re not seeing the full picture of what’s going on through someone’s social media posts. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially on social media. 

Explore the reasons behind your loneliness

Coping with the feeling of loneliness can be such a big task that it’s easy to forget to explore why loneliness is there in the first place. However, it’s worth looking into the reasons behind your loneliness so you can prevent it in the future.

Do you feel like you don’t have friends or loved ones who understand you? Are you having interpersonal problems? Does social media make you feel left out or less than? Do you worry that everyone is judging you and that is what makes it hard to reach out? When you can pinpoint the reasons behind why you feel lonely, you can make some changes. If no one understands you, it might be time to explore some groups that have similar interests. If you are having interpersonal problems, working with a therapist can help you find new ways to relate to people and how to explore conflict in a healthy way. It will take a lot of introspection and compassion, but exploring what’s behind your loneliness gives you a road map of how to fix it. 

Invest in your current relationships

When you’re lonely, it can be easy to talk yourself out of reaching out to the people in your life. You might feel like they don’t want to hear from you or that they’re too busy for you. Remember that you can’t read minds, though! Your assumption about how they’ll respond might be way off, and the only way to find out is to ask. Reach out to the people you already know to connect and make plans, or even just to share that you’re feeling lonely and thinking of them. 

When your loved ones reach out to you to ask how you’re doing, it’s okay to let them know that you’re feeling lonely. Talking about it can release some of the shame that you may not even realize you were holding onto. It’s also easier to ask for help from someone who already knows what’s going on. You might be surprised to find out that the people in your life are also feeling lonely, as it’s extremely common these days. 

Find something you like to do solo

Spending time by yourself is more enjoyable when you have something you like to do. Explore some new hobbies or activities to see what you like doing on your own. Maybe you really like taking your dog for long walks, or maybe doing a puzzle is more your speed. Try things like: playing an instrument, collaging, painting, drawing, knitting/crocheting, crossword puzzles, reading, thrifting, gardening, cooking or baking, hiking, journaling, bird watching, 

Ask for help

Loneliness doesn’t have to last forever, but it can feel hard to break out of feeling isolated. When you’re struggling with being lonely, it’s okay to reach out for support. Friends and family can probably relate to what you’re going through, and the people that care about you probably want to help. We’re not meant to go through life alone, and it’s okay to ask your community for support. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends or loved ones, try talking to your primary care physician about what you’re going through. They might even have some resources to point you toward so you can meet new people and strengthen your current connections. A therapist can also be a great resource when coping with loneliness, because you can explore the reasons behind your feelings as well as new ways to cope. 

Go out of your comfort zone

This is such frustrating advice, because no one wants to really go outside their comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable! However, you don’t always have to go too far out of your comfort zone to make new connections. Start with a little baby step out of your comfort zone. 

Instead of keeping to yourself the next time you walk around your neighborhood, try leaving your headphones at home and saying hi to anyone you walk by. Pick one social event a month that you’re going to check out. Google free events in your area or through interest groups that you care about. Many cities and towns have event calendars on their websites so you can find things going on, and you can also find events listed on Eventbrite and Facebook. See if you can pick one new thing to try and see how that feels. 

Coping with feeling lonely can be hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a therapist can help teach you new ways to cope and explore ways to build community and support. Get in touch with our office today to get started with one of our expert clinicians.