Leaning Into the Season: How to Embrace Rest in Winter

Do you feel a bit at odds with yourself during winter?

In a world that prioritizes productivity above all else, the natural rhythm of winter can feel at odds with our cultural expectations. While there are of course the serious concerns of seasonal affective disorder and managing the ways in which that impacts our daily wellness, but winter can often feel like a challenge because it’s asking us to remember that we’re beings of nature, not machines who can work at an endless pace. Winter demands we slow down and rest, and we struggle the most when we’re not able to engage with those needs.  

What if winter isn’t a time to push through, but an invitation to slow down? Even if we can’t get there fully, like bears hibernating until spring, can we meet our need for slowness and rest this season halfway? Can we learn to welcome a season of rest? Embracing rest during this season can be a radical act of self-care and healing.

What are the Barriers to Rest?

Our relationship to rest is shaped in part by the social and cultural norms we’ve internalized, by observing them in action in those around us. In a society reliant on white supremacist capitalist ideals, we’ve learned that we earn worth through productivity and accomplishment. The extension of that thought, is that instead of deserving rest because we exist and all beings need rest, we must earn it. We are praised for being busy, for hustling, and idealize those who  “push through” adversity, when in reality many folks cannot push through the obstacles in their path because they are systemic inequalities that only compound any obstacles encountered. 

The function of this is to keep us tired, lacking self esteem, not knowing how to take care of ourselves because it has never been a priority, and constantly feeling as though we need to prove our worthiness through running ourselves ragged. (If you’re interested in exploring the connection between capitalist culture and white supremacy, Tricia Hersey, founder of the Nap Ministry, explores just that in her book Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto.) 

This cultural relationship to rest is only one part, but often our personal and family histories only reinforce this toxic imbalance. Think of the environment you grew up in, did those in a caretaking role prioritize rest for themselves? Was rest viewed as a reward, or something that was nice when you were able to do it, but not a necessity? 

We’re often getting the same anti-rest messages on a micro level in our families and communities as we are from our culture at large. It may not be on purpose–while there is a larger function to keeping folks exhausted within capitalism, the lack of rest, or the inability to prioritize rest on a micro level is often due to the constraints of capitalism, where people are struggling to pay their bills, while working more than ever. 

Recognizing these patterns can help us understand why leaning into rest feels so difficult. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these histories and begin rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us.

The Challenges of a Slower Season

While it can be a calling to slow down and embrace rest, winter presents its own set of obstacles to navigate. The shorter, darker days make it hard to maintain energy and motivation through the day, while Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can negatively impact mood, sleep, and daily health. Because of this–and our toxic relationship to rest–winter often becomes a season of struggle. We push ourselves to maintain the rhythms of our usual lives, even when our bodies,our minds, and our environment are all signaling the need to slow down.

But humans aren’t machines, and we can’t try to operate as though we are. We’re beings of nature, and just like everything in nature, we need seasons to rest. Nothing in nature grows or blooms all year long, so how could we?. This season of rest lays the foundation for growth and renewal in the spring. What if we allowed ourselves the same grace?

Unpacking the roots of our discomfort with rest is a powerful act of healing. 

Tips for Embracing Rest in Winter:

Give yourself grace if these practices don’t come naturally to you–we’re all unlearning and remaking our relationship with rest the best way we’re able to. Don’t give up on them if they’re hard. Give yourself permission to let go of the need to achieve:

1. Honor Your Natural Rhythms: Listen to your body and mind, and notice when they’re asking for rest. Try to take note of what your body’s patterns are. When do you have the most energy? Can you embrace that as your “productivity” time, and allow yourself moments of rest and ease in the times your energy wanes or struggles to show up? Can you shift your daily routine for a season to make room for these needs? 

2. Create Rest Rituals: Build small moments of rest into your day. They can be small things like lighting a candle, brewing a cup of tea, or spending a few minutes in quiet reflection. Try to keep a list of small ways you find rest through your days that you can turn to when you mind itself is too tired to come up with one. You can also use these small moments to signal to your body that it’s time to transition into resting mode.

3. Remember rest serves a function: We are socialized to see rest as a luxury, or even a waste of time. But without rest, we cannot fully show up in other areas of our lives. Rest allows our mind to wander, strengthening our creativity and sense of self, and allows us time to tend to our body, which has needs that can’t be met when we’re productive. Remember rest nourishes you and enables you to show up more fully in other areas of your life.

4. Seek Connection: You are not alone in your need for rest. Can you give a friend or loved one permission to rest with you, and in turn be granted permission from them to rest? Winter can feel isolating, and that isolation can make it hard to treat ourselves with the kindness we deserve. Relying on loved ones can be mutually beneficial as you start to rework your relationship with rest. 

Embrace the Gift of Winter

Winter invites us to pause, reflect, and restore. By leaning into this season and embracing rest, we can learn to honor the natural rhythms of our lives, and feel more assured in ourselves and our self worth. 

Are you struggling to keep up with the demands of everyday life during the winter? You’re not alone, and working with a therapist can help give you an outlet and find ways to cope in the winter months. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians. 

4 Ways to Accept a Slower Pace in the Winter Season

4 Ways to Accept a Slower Pace in the Winter Season

Winter is here, and with it is a season that leaves many of us feeling confused. 

Around us, the world begins to slow down, but we carry on with the same pace we keep in the warmer months. The days are shorter, but instead of lessening our loads, we often work from dawn to dusk or later and wonder why we’re so tired. Accepting a slower pace in the winter might seem impossible, but slowing down for the season can make a huge difference in your mental health. 

In addition to the stress of the end of the year and the holiday season, many people deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder at this time of year. There are lots of theories as to why winter plays a role in Seasonal Affective Disorder. It may have something to do with a lack of Vitamin D from sunlight in the darker months, especially if you live in the northern hemisphere. We are affected by our environments, even if we like to imagine that with modern technology we’re past being at the mercy of Mother Nature. 

What is rest? 

If you’re not sure how to actually get real rest, you’re not alone. Lots of times, this is because rest isn’t what we think it is. Rest can be defined as “ceasing work and worry, or being, rather than doing.”

Real rest is different from the type of rest we often imagine. Rest isn’t just sleeping or not doing work. We might think of rest as sitting in front of the TV with a favorite show on, scrolling social media, but that isn’t actually a restful activity, and it does nothing to replenish us when we need it. By this time of the year, many of us are feeling burned out or wondering where our sense of inspiration or play has gone. 

We are animals, just like all the ones around us, and we have different needs in each season. The capitalist way we live and work, which focuses on money above all else, requires us to abandon our needs in order to keep working, so many of us don’t feel like we have any other option. Most of us don’t have the option to lighten our workloads in the winter, which can make it harder to listen to the needs of your body during this season. 

What if instead of struggling against the expectations you have for yourself this winter, you allow yourself to slow down and adopt the pace that feels comfortable for you? Here are 4 ways to accept a slower pace in the winter season: 

Change Your Expectations

Explore where you can scale back during the winter months. You might think it’s silly to try to lighten your load this winter because you’ve made it through every winter before this one. Just because you made it through doesn’t mean it was less of a burden to keep up your summer activity level in the wintertime. You deserve to have real, quality rest and replenishment so that you can feel your best throughout the rest of the year. 

When you accept that rest can be as important as work, it feels easier to allow yourself to rest. Rest is work, even. When we don’t rest as we should, we become burned out, irritable, and uninspired. By making time for rest regularly, you ensure that you are rejuvenated and ready to handle what comes your way. When you don’t make time for rest, your body will find a time, and it’s probably going to be as inconvenient as possible. Be proactive and rest before your body tells you it needs it. 

Prioritize rest

As mentioned above, rest is complicated and most of us aren’t very good at it. There is too much going on all of the time for many of us to fully relax or turn off our brains. This is a time of year that was designed for rest though. Look at the animals in your neighborhood who are much less active in the winter than in the summer. Lots of them even hibernate during the winter, because it’s better for survival to shut down for a few months than to struggle all winter to feed themselves. 

Take a leaf out of Mother Nature’s book this year and change the way you think about rest. What are activities that leave you feeling rested, rejuvenated, and relaxed? Try setting time limits on certain apps on your phone to help lessen the temptation to scroll. If you’re not sure where to start with rest, focus on your body. Where is there tension or sensation? What does your body need in the moment to feel rested? Listening to your body’s needs can help guide you toward rest that’s actually restful. 

Lean on your connections with others

We are social beings as humans, and so making connections with others comes naturally to us. It feels healing to make secure connections with others. This is especially true in hard or lean times, which winter often is. Throughout human history, people have been working together to survive the winter and we’re no different. We need community and connections to feel like our best selves. It can feel way harder to be social in the winter, so this is often something that people put on the back burner until the weather is nice again. 

This year, see how you can lean on the connections you have with others during the winter. Try to focus on spending time with people who make you feel calm, safe, and validated. If it feels okay to you, explain that you struggle in the winter and are trying to lean on your support system during this time. Lots of people also have a hard time during the winter, so being open about how you experience winter may even make them feel better about how they feel in the wintertime. 

Find moments of joy in the season

Winter can seem bleak or unforgiving, but there will always be moments of joy that you can pick up on, no matter what the season is. Some people find the way the snow falls in the winter to be really beautiful and moving. Others enjoy the holidays that come with the winter season. Do your best to be on the lookout for moments of joy this winter. Maybe it’s watching your dog jump through snow piles like a bunny. Maybe it’s making a big batch of warm soup for someone you care about. Maybe it’s the way light sparkles on the snow. 

Holding onto these moments of joy and beauty can help you feel more capable of handling the darkness that comes with this season. If you want, you can start a photo album or note on your phone where you keep track of the things that brought you joy recently. That way, in less-joyous moments, you can look back through and remind yourself that the darkness doesn’t last forever. 

Are you struggling to keep up with the demands of everyday life during the winter? You’re not alone, and working with a therapist can help give you an outlet and find ways to cope in the winter months. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians.