What to Do When Life Feels Meaningless

Life is often challenging, and there are times where you might feel like life has no meaning. 

When life feels meaningless, it can be scary. You might feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling like you aren’t sure what it all means. You might wish you could go back to how things were before you started questioning everything. 

It’s normal to have questions about what your purpose is to wonder about greater meaning. We all go through times where we question if we’re on the right path or where we come to a realization or go through an experience that changes our worldview. 

Why does life feel meaningless?

The feeling that life is meaningless can develop from many things. Sometimes, a sense that life is meaningless can be accompanied by other signs of depression or other mood disorders, like feeling hopeless, sad, or disinterested in things you used to enjoy. A therapist or your primary care doctor can help you assess whether you’re dealing with something more serious, like a mood disorder. 

Questioning meaning in your life can also come from: 

• Feeling unfulfilled at work and in life

• Wondering if anything you do makes a difference

• Is there something else? 

• Going through stressful experiences 

• Struggling to figure out what it is you want 

Life means something different to everyone, so when life feels meaningless, everyone will require something different. Only you have your unique combination of experience, perspective, values, and temperament, and so rediscovering meaning when life feels meaningless will take some exploring. 

What can you do when life feels meaningless? Remember, you’re not alone, and you won’t feel this way forever. Here are 6 suggestions for what you can do when life feels meaningless: 

Reconsider what makes a good life 

There are times in life where your worldview shifts and you question what you previously believed. Often, we feel a lot of pressure to have a perfect life, and feeling like you can’t measure up can make it harder to feel like you have a purpose. 

Sometimes, reconsidering what it is that makes a good life can be a helpful exercise. What is actually important to you, and not just what you think others want to hear? What would make you feel happy and fulfilled? Where are the small places that you find joy in your day to day life, and how can you expand those moments of joy? It might take a while for you to come up with an answer that feels right for you, but don't be afraid to explore what a good life means to you.

Get to know yourself better

We all grow and change over time, and it can be surprising to realize that you don’t really know yourself that well. It can be helpful to really consider who you are from time to time, so you can feel more comfortable in your skin and confident in who you are. 

Getting to know yourself won’t happen overnight, but start with curiosity and compassion. Try writing in a journal or starting a mindfulness practice to help you connect with yourself on a regular basis. 

Determine your values 

One way to work your way back toward meaning in your life is to determine what your values are. When you know what is important to you on a fundamental level, it can be easier to make decisions and answer questions about life. 

For example, if you know that community is an important value of yours, you can take small steps to strengthen your community, like reaching out to loved ones to connect or attending local events to meet new people. 

Work on self compassion

It takes a lot of effort to be nice to yourself, but it’s important. There is enough negativity in the world that you’ll have to deal with, and you don’t need to add to it. Whenever you’re going through something hard, be as nice to yourself as you can possibly be. 

Sometimes feeling like life is meaningless can be compounded by not being kind to yourself and leave you even more distressed. Whenever you notice you’re being unkind to yourself, take a pause and a few deep breaths, and try to respond to yourself like you’d respond to a friend. 

Connect with something bigger than yourself 

One of the beautiful things about being a human is that we have the ability to connect with something bigger than ourselves. We can experience awe and joy and wonder, and making those a priority can help you to rediscover meaning when life feels meaningless. 

Some people connect deeply with things like nature, hobbies, religion, art, music, activism. Try to think of things in your past that have inspired awe or wonder for you. What about those experiences can you replicate? 

Work with a professional

Existential questions like “What is the meaning of all of this?” and “What is my purpose?” are difficult to answer. Working with a trained therapist can help you explore what is meaningful to you and empower you to find answers while offering support and expertise.  

Therapy can help you learn more about current patterns in your thinking that contribute to your distress and find ways to shift them into more supportive patterns. Many people find that working with a therapist helps them find a greater sense of peace and purpose. 

If you’re interested in working with one of our Washington, DC, Northern Virginia, or Maryland therapists, get in touch with our office today to set up an appointment. 

Finding Meaning When Life Is Scary or Confusing

 Finding Meaning When Life Is Scary or Confusing

It’s no secret that life for the past 18 months have been a lot different than any of us could have imagined. When life is scary or confusing (or both!) it can seem like it will go on like this forever. We’ve now spent the better part of 2 years putting our lives on hold because of the pandemic, which is still raging on. Tensions seem to be at an all time high. We’re all sick of the way things are, and we’re all trying to deal with it in our own way. Gone are the days when we all baked bread and stayed home - we all have had to find ways to move forward in this new reality, and that can be exhausting. If you’re feeling tired or numb right now, you’re not alone. 

When life is overwhelming, it can sometimes seem like there’s no point to anything. There is a sense of overwhelming hopelessness that can get out of control quickly. While there are plenty of things to be confused or concerned about right now, it is possible to still feel a sense of purpose.

Finding meaning can look different for everyone. Some people find meaning through creativity. Others use religion to make meaning of the world around them. Many people find meaning in their communities or in nature.When life is scary, restoring your sense of purpose can be a deep comfort. 

If you’re looking for ways to find meaning in life right now, here are 5 ideas: 

Join a community

Humans are social creatures. We are wired for connection! When things get tough, community can be a valuable resource for support. It might not be as easy to join an in-person community right now, but there are many options out there for virtual communities. Try local Facebook groups or Meetup groups. If there are any causes out there that are important to you, look into joining a community focused around that. Working together with other people who care about something as much as you do can go a long way to restoring your faith in humanity. 

Explore your values

When was the last time you explored what’s important to you? Values are what we consider to be important in life. Everyone’s values are different. Some people value privacy, and others prefer to share. Some people value promptness, and others are chronically late. There are a million different values that we can have, but it can be a helpful exercise to make a list of values that are especially resonant for you. Your values may shift over time, and that’s okay! Change is natural. That’s why it’s helpful to explore your values every so often, so you know what is important to you. Understanding your values can help you make decisions, come up with goals, and manage uncertainty. 

Try acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean approval. For example, you might feel frustrated that you’re caught in a rainstorm. But spending time being frustrated that you’re soaked doesn’t do anything to change the fact that it’s raining. Accepting that it’s raining doesn’t mean you approve of the rain - it just means that it’s happening. When you stop struggling against something, sometimes it has less power. Instead of spending your time focused on what is bringing you distress, what would shift if you accepted it? 

It’s also important to note that acceptance doesn’t mean that nothing will ever change or improve. Acceptance just means you’re not struggling against reality. To follow the rainstorm example, acceptance doesn’t mean that it will rain forever. 

Check cognitive distortions 

Sometimes what your brain tells you is not the truth. We all deal with faulty thinking sometimes, but it can be distressing when we don’t realize it’s happening. When you notice yourself thinking in extremes or having distressing thoughts, take a moment to check your thoughts for cognitive distortions. 

Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that aren't true, but that we believe. They can sneak up in a number of ways - “should” statements, all or nothing thinking, personalizing minimizing, jumping to conclusions, and discounting the positive are just some of the ways that cognitive distortions can show up. Remember, thoughts aren’t facts! 

Get to know yourself

Have you gotten to know the new you? We’ve all changed over the last year and a half, and many of us are still getting to know these new versions of ourselves. Crisis and chaos can lead to shifts in the way that we interact with the world and with ourselves, so take some time to explore what’s changed for you over this time. Are your values the same, or have they shifted? Do you have the same friends? What’s been meaningful to you over the past 18 months? 

Some ways to get to know yourself better are to journal, go to therapy, get an assessment, practice mindfulness, and try new things. 

As mentioned above, people find meaning in all sorts of ways. Spiritual practices or religion may help you find the meaning you’re looking for. Other people find meaning out in nature or spending time outdoors. What makes you feel inspired and curious? Follow that thread to find meaning. 

If you’re still struggling to find meaning when life is scary or confusing, therapy can be a great option. A trained therapist can help you find insights and solutions that work for your specific situation so you can get back to feeling like your old self again. Get in touch today to book a session.