Supporting Your Mental Health During Your Freshman Year of College

Starting your freshman year of college is an exciting time, and it can also be overwhelming. 

Going to college is a huge transition, even if it’s one you’re ready for. For many, it’s their first time living on their own and being in charge of their own time. The academic work is harder. You have to learn how to manage your time and meet your own needs in a way that might be new to you. You might be living in a new city where you don’t know anyone, or even how to get around. And all of these changes happen in a few short weeks!

Life transitions, like starting college, can make a big impact on your mental health.

Why are life transitions, like going to starting your freshman year of college, so hard?

Even though change is a reality of life, it’s still hard to go through. You can even be really excited about the change and still have a hard time adapting to it. That’s because our brains love routine. When we interrupt the routine that our brain knows, it feels uncomfortable. It takes time to establish a new routine that feels safe and comforting, the way your old one did. 

You’re probably going to feel like a totally different person in a few months once your first semester of college is over, because college is an intense experience. In addition to the academic side, the social side of college and tasting adult independence for the first time can make a big change in how you move through the world. You might gain confidence, understand yourself better, and feel more capable than you do right now. 

Of course, not every college freshman is 18 years old and brand new to adulthood. Even if your freshman year of college isn’t the first time you had a taste of independence as an adult, finding a school-life balance that works for you might take some trial and error. 

Finding the right ways to take care of your mental health as an adult takes some trial and error. If you’re working on supporting your mental health during your freshman year of college, here are some things to keep in mind to help you: 

Put yourself out there

While college is academic, the social experience of higher education is an important piece for many people. It can be intimidating to have to build up a whole new social circle out of thin air. The nice thing about going to college is that everyone is kind of in the same boat - most people don’t know each other. Most people are looking to make new friends and social connections to help them through the next few years of school, and maybe beyond. The first few weeks of college, there will be numerous opportunities for you to meet new people. Even if you’re not typically a super social person, making the most of those first few months at school and going to events that interest you can help you meet new people. You don’t have to go to every little thing, but try to pick a few groups or clubs that interest you, and start there. 

If you’re living on campus, go to the activities your dorm throws until you meet some people and can plan your own activities. Keep your door open when you’re able to so people can drop by in the first few weeks of school and you can get to know them. If you’re living off campus, it can be especially important to go to events to meet people because you don’t have the opportunity to meet people in the dorms.

Don’t overload yourself 

While it’s important to join groups or try new things in college, it’s also critical that you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Don’t take more classes than you can handle. Don’t join more groups than you can actually commit to. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. You’ll have time to do the things you want to do. You don’t have to do it all fall semester freshman year. 

Setting boundaries can be helpful when you’re working to not overwhelm yourself. Whether it’s with your roommate(s), your friends, study partners, coworkers, or family, it’s okay to let people know what you’re able to do and what you’re not available for. 

Remember that everyone is feeling the same pressure 

The first few weeks of college are weird and they go by really fast. Everyone is feeling the same pressure to make friends and figure out who they are on campus. You’re not the only one who is going through this intense experience, and you’re certainly not the only one struggling. It might be helpful to remind yourself that most people are probably feeling pretty vulnerable, even if you find them intimidating. Be compassionate with yourself as you navigate this major transition. 

Lean on your support system

Freshman year of college is one of the first times you can lean on your support system as an adult. We all need sources of support in our lives, and knowing who your support system is can help you in moments when you’re struggling with your mental health. Think ahead of time who you can call or text for help when you need a friendly shoulder to lean on. Maybe it’s friends from home, family, a therapist from home if you have one, a former coworker, a former teacher, a family friend, or a spiritual leader. 

Your support system can also include yourself, and things that you do for yourself. It might also feel comforting to lean on things that make you feel better when you’re overwhelmed, like hobbies that calm you down or self care activities that help you feel replenished. 

Utilize campus resources

One of the great things about most college campuses is that they have tons of resources for students. In addition to clubs and student organizations, your college might offer mental health support on campus, whether it's with a therapist in the student health center or with a peer support person. Look into what kind of resources your school offers before you get there so you have an idea of where you can turn to for help. Try to familiarize yourself with where they are and how you can get an appointment so that’s one less thing to do when you’re emotionally activated. 

Go back to basics 

Life transitions are tough on our mental health, and going back to the basics of self-care can be a buffer against distress during this time. Make sure to get enough sleep, even when there’s a million things to do. Get enough to eat, stay hydrated, and move your body if you can in a way that feels good to you. Take your meds if you have any. Get outside if the weather allows for it. 

Make time for creativity and mindfulness, even if it’s just doodling for a few minutes between classes. Establishing good self care habits as you transition to college can help you have a more positive experience. 

Think big picture

It can be shocking to get to college and struggle academically or socially (especially if you didn’t struggle that way in high school), and it can make you feel like you’re messing things up or that you’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Try to keep in mind that not everything you’re concerned about will end up being a big deal to you. 

It can be hard to talk yourself down when you’re in a panic over a bad grade or a big exam but try to think if this will matter in 5 minutes, 5 months, and 5 years. Most situations aren’t actually going to knock you off track even if they feel intense at the time. You can acknowledge that this is tough right now, in the moment, and recognize that it likely will not totally ruin your life in the big picture. 

Work with a therapist 

If you’re starting your freshman year of college (or any year of college), it’s important to have a good support system in place, and that can include a mental health provider. Working with a therapist as your college experience begins can help you adjust to the change while still taking care of your mental health. It can also you give you at least one hour that’s just focused on your wellness every week, which can be helpful. 

Our team of therapists at Hope+Wellness can help you with the major life transition of starting your freshman year of college. Whether you’d prefer a virtual appointment or to come into one of our offices in Northern Virginia or D.C., our clinicians have experience supporting college students during this time of change and growth. Contact us today to get started. 

Coping Strategies for Managing Grief and Loss

Grief is a fact of life, but that doesn’t make it easy to deal with.

We will all feel grief at some point in our lives, because life involves change, and change activates grief. You can grieve for many reasons, including the death of a loved one, but that’s not the only source of grief in life. Grief commonly comes up around experiences that involve a lot of change, like moving, changing jobs, becoming a parent, struggling with infertility, dealing with chronic conditions, changes in relationship status, and more. 

To our brains, change is loss, and loss means grief. 

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.

Grief doesn’t even always have stages. We commonly hear that grief has 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance, but those stages were actually developed to describe what people go through as they face death, not to describe grief itself. While many grievers will feel like they relate to these stages, they’re not the only way grief shows up. Sometimes people have a hard time connecting what they’re experiencing to their grief, because they’re expecting grief to look the way it does on TV. In reality, grief is different for each person. 

For some things, the grief never goes away. We tend to imagine that grief lessens over time, and while the intensity can often decrease, many people who grieve have to find ways to integrate their grief into their new life. Instead of grief lessening over time, it’s more like your life grows and expands around the grief. Even this process can bring up grief, because it marks a change, and change often feels like loss. 

The truth about managing grief

Managing grief successfully means finding a way to accept that grief is a part of your life now. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to approve of the way you’re feeling, just that you don’t let yourself struggle against it anymore. Struggling to accept reality can cause a lot of distress that can be alleviated with acceptance. 

Learning how to ride the waves of grief is like learning how to manage any other intense emotion. It takes time and effort, and often the help of a professional to support you through it. 

In our culture, grief is a topic that’s often avoided. 

We assume grief should be private, or that there’s nothing that can be done when someone is grieving. Our cultural inability to talk about loss and grief leads to people feeling like they can’t share what they’re going through, which can make the distress of grief feel even worse. 

Thankfully, there are ways to help you feel less emotionally out of control when you’re going through grief. If you’re trying to find ways to manage grief, try these coping strategies: 

Release your expectations of yourself

Grief is different for everyone and everyone responds differently, so there’s no “right” way to grieve. Don’t beat yourself up for what you’re feeling as you grieve. Try to notice when you have expectations for yourself (often you’ll notice them when you start a thought with “I should…”) so you can become aware of how these expectations are making you feel. Grief is hard enough without giving yourself unreasonable standards to meet. 

Grief is one of the most intense emotions that we can feel. It’s going to take a lot of time and self compassion to cope with your new reality. You’re not going to be able to function the way you did when you weren’t grieving, and that’s okay. 

Ask for support to meet your basic needs

An important part of managing grief is finding ways to meet your basic needs. If you’re not taking care of yourself, everything else will feel so much worse. However, when you’re grieving, it can be hard to do even “simple” things like get out of bed, or finding something to eat. That’s why calling in reinforcements can be helpful. 

Is there someone in your life who can help make sure you’re getting enough to eat, taking your meds, and getting lots of sleep? It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Lots of people want to be able to help, but don’t know where to start so making specific requests can actually be helpful when calling in extra support. 

Bring in a professional

Grief is complicated, and it has a far reaching impact in our lives. Sometimes, that means it’s best to get professional support as you navigate this experience. Whether it’s one on one therapy with a counselor who’s experienced in treating grief, or a group therapy session with other grievers, bringing in a professional to help you through this time can make a world of difference. 

A therapist who is experienced in grief counseling can help you make sense of your new world, cope with overwhelming emotions, and be more compassionate with yourself. 

Find ways to express the intense emotions you’re feeling

Emotions are intense, and they can lessen in intensity when we find ways to express them. Grief might leave you with less energy than normal, so you may need to adjust some activities to meet yourself where you are in this moment, but there are ways to express intense emotions, such as: 

• Exercise

• Somatic techniques, like breathwork

• Mindfulness

• Making art or using your creativity

• Crying

• Journaling 

• Talking it over with someone you trust

• Exploring spirituality and deeper meaning

Distract yourself 

Finally, grief is so hard, and it’s okay to distract yourself in moments when it’s particularly distressing. Distraction is a perfectly valid coping skill that can be a big help in times of intense grief. Here are some distractions to try: 

• Play a game (board game, video game, puzzles, etc.)

• Read a book

• Take a nap

• Get into a new show

• Make a playlist for someone you love

• Go see a movie

• Play with a pet or child

• Clean your space

• Bake or cook something

• Creating art of any kind

Are you looking for more support as you cope with grief? Working with a therapist can help you navigate the complexities of grief with self-compassion. Get in touch with our office today to get started.