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Anxiety, ACT, Values and Meaning Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith Anxiety, ACT, Values and Meaning Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith

Live with Happiness by Identifying Your Values

Sometimes in life, we feel lost and confused, unsure of which direction to go in our lives. Should we go to this school or that school? Should we stay with this person or leave? Well-meaning friends and family may give us advice and feedback, but we end up feeling even more lost among all their opinions and perspectives. Many people also find it difficult to make their own decisions, as they want so much for others to be happy, that they’ve learned to set aside their own desires for that of others.

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Sometimes in life, we feel lost and confused, unsure of which direction to go in our lives. Should we go to this school or that school? Should we stay with this person or leave? Well-meaning friends and family may give us advice and feedback, but we end up feeling even more lost among all their opinions and perspectives. Many people also find it difficult to make their own decisions, as they want so much for others to be happy, that they’ve learned to set aside their own desires for that of others.

Complicating things are feelings of anxiety or stress. For instance, your anxiety may make it difficult to go out with friends or to do the things you would like to do in your life such as travel or meet new people, out of fear and avoidance.

What Are Values?

According to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based treatment for anxiety and depression, one of the keys to a meaningful and fulfilling life is to examine your personal values. Values are attitudes that guide your emotions and behavior. They represent what is important to you. By clarifying them, you identify what is important to you. This can help guide your life decisions and actions so that they are consistent with what you truly find important in life, even when stress and anxiety get in the way.

How to Clarify and Claim Your Values

Being aware of your values and setting specific intentions related to them can help you build a rich and meaningful life. Start with a list of common values, such as love, friendship, meaning, loyalty, wealth, acceptance, adventure, adversity. Then give yourself 5-10 minutes to read through the list and select your top values. It can be helpful to select the values that resonate with you immediately and to not overthink it. It is also important to know that you can have values in different areas of your life — including friendship, family, romantic relationships, work, education, spirituality, and personal development. Therefore, you can clarify different sets of values in each of these domains. When selecting your values, ask yourself questions such as what type of friend or family member you would like to be. What is important to you in a romantic relationship and what type of values would you like to live out?

Why Clarifying Values is Important

Values can provide a north star for you as you go about your daily life and make decisions. By clarifying and being intentional about making decisions and acting in ways consistent with your values, you are creating a meaningful and fulfilling life. When things are in alignment, you are content and feel peace with your decisions even in the face of stress or other people’s opinions. You also feel fulfilled even when experiencing anxiety, because you know that an action such as attending a party and meeting new people is something important to you even if it may provoke anxiety.

Life is Short

When it comes down to it, life is short. We each have a limited time here on this earth. It’s important to have an awareness of what you want out of life and to live intentionally with meaning, purpose, and clarity each day. Values help illuminate a path forward for you toward achieving your best life.


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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed therapist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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11 Mindful Quotes for Serenity and Clarity

So often we hear messages from society that we need to be fitter, prettier, more youthful, wealthier and to reach some future state of being in order to be happy but the truth is that peace and contentment are available to you in the here and now.

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So often we hear messages from society that we need to be fitter, prettier, more youthful, wealthier and to reach some future state of being in order to be happy but the truth is that peace and contentment are available to you in the here and now.

It takes committed insight and intention to connect with life as it is and to see reality clearly rather than your distortions of it. Mindfulness helps you cultivate an awareness and peace with life, in the present moment, as it is. It releases you from the patterns of negative thinking, feeling, and behaving that cause you pain and suffering and helps you reconnect to yourself, to become awakened to serenity and calmness that sustains you throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Below are 11 Mindful Quotes for Serenity and Clarity

Gratitude reminds us to be like plants, which turn toward, not away from the light.
— Mary Jane Ryan
We find out what we really value in the daily decisions that we make, so we might do well to stop occasionally and respectfully ask ourselves: What truly matters? Asked regularly and fearlessly, it is the single question that will help you get to the heart of your life.
— James E. Ryan
When you know who you are; when your mission is clear and you burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will, no cold can touch your heart; no deluge can dampen your purpose. You know that you are alive.
— Chief Seattle
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When we let go of the need to prove ourselves, nothing and no one can disturb the quiet and peace of our minds.
— Iyanla Vanzant
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better than the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.
— Oprah Winfrey
If we can dance like fire, we’d never get burned.
— Ben Harper
You are worthy. You are not broken; you are, in fact, beautifully whole. No matter what you’ve been through, you have the power to write a brave, new ending. It will take work. It will take courage. But healing is possible, and the gift of your trauma is that it creates resiliency and reveals your strength.
— Liz Arch
Mindfulness is being aware of, or bringing attention to, this moment in time, on purpose and with intention. So w hen we go for a mindful walk and really notice every little detail around us — trees, cars, little flowers growing out of small cracks, a pretty cat crossing the road — rather than creating “To Do Lists,” we may feel truly enchanted with life.
— Patrizia Collard
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Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.
— Thich Nhat Hanh

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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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A Blessing for Career and Work Struggles

So many of us struggle with knowing what it is we are meant to do with our lives and career. We get up and go to work from 9 to 5 and wonder — is this it? Is this what my life is meant to look like? Life is full of so many trade offs — we choose the secure job over the interest that we’re passionate about but seemingly doesn’t make as much sense.

So many of us struggle with knowing what it is we are meant to do with our lives and career. We get up and go to work from 9 to 5 and wonder — is this it? Is this what my life is meant to look like? Life is full of so many trade offs — we choose the secure job over the interest that we’re passionate about but seemingly doesn’t make as much sense. Years later, we find ourselves feeling disconnected, wondering why and how we can get back to this place where we look forward to each day with excitement, how to live a life of fulfillment.

Recently, I have been enjoying the work of John O’Donohue, who was an Irish writer and poet. My favorite book of his, To Bless the Space Between Us, is a collection of blessings to help readers through struggles and everyday concerns of life. There is something deeply kind and wise about his words, something which is encouraging and inspires hope during times of transition, challenge, new beginnings.

If you are currently struggling with questions of what to do with your life, your work and where it is all leading, read the blessing below by John O’Donohue. May your work be guided by the light of you, may you feel encouraged knowing that there is a path for you forward, a unique place where you are meant to be in this world. I find this greatly encouraging and hope that you find it encouraging too.

Blessing of your work by John O’Donohue

May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work
You do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul.
May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light and renewal to those
Who work with you and to those who see and receive your work.
May your work never weary you.
May it release within you wellsprings of refreshment, inspiration and excitement.
May you be present in what you do.
May you never become lost in the bland absences.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake and alert, approaching your new day with dreams,
Possibilities and promises.
May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected.
May your soul calm, console and renew you.


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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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Accepting Yourself Unconditionally, As You Are

So many of us are able to love and to feel compassion for others, but what about ourselves? So often, we feel inadequate — we are all too familiar with our weaknesses and judge ourselves for our bodies, mistakes we’ve made, things we’ve said and done, feeling guilty and undisciplined for all the tasks we haven’t done, our level of productivity — the list goes on.

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You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.
— Eckhart Tolle

So many of us are able to love and to feel compassion for others, but what about ourselves? So often, we feel inadequate — we are all too familiar with our weaknesses and judge ourselves for our bodies, mistakes we’ve made, things we’ve said and done, feeling guilty and undisciplined for all the tasks we haven’t done, our level of productivity — the list goes on. We never feel quite good enough, never feel comfortable in our own skin. So we work on exercising and becoming thinner, smarter, more productive — working toward an end goal of who we ultimately want to be.

The problem is this day never seems to come. Somehow, it always feels as if it is beyond the horizon. It’s healthy to strive toward improvement, but when we are always striving for the next level or chasing an ideal, we end up on a treadmill which never seems to end. We are not able to appreciate the happiness that is available here and now. We are not able to awaken to the power that is currently within us.

What if you accepted and loved yourself unconditionally and radically? What if you directed the love that you feel so naturally for others toward yourself? And what if you did this today, here, now?

The truth is that you’re not perfect, but none of us are. Each of us longs to be seen and to be loved and valued. We each seek to find our place in the world. You’re human, and all the messy and imperfect and beautiful things that this means. Yes, you’ve made mistakes. Yes, you might be overweight. But you’re also awesome and wonderfully made as you are.

Love yourself today, and all the things you are seeking to change. Acceptance has a paradoxical quality to it. It’s funny how it works. Because once you accept, change is able to occur. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re happy with where you are currently at. Nor does it mean that you will stagnate. Instead, acceptance is the very soil through which you will blossom and grow. It’s the foundation of change.

So let go of criticism and judgment. It feels so much more natural and comfortable, but it is holding you back. Let your foundation in life be one of acceptance and love. Let it flow and guide you to your highest and greatest purpose and being.


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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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5 Things to Know if Your Teen is Dealing with Depression

It can be scary and overwhelming to learn that your teen is depressed. You want to support your child, but don’t quite know how. You watch them struggle to get up in the morning in order to make it on time to school. They aren’t getting much sleep and don’t seem to find much enjoyment in things anymore.

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It can be scary and overwhelming to learn that your teen is depressed. You want to support your child, but don’t quite know how. You watch them struggle to get up in the morning in order to make it on time to school. They aren’t getting much sleep and don’t seem to find much enjoyment in things anymore. You worry about their grades and how this will impact college admissions. Nothing you’ve tried seems to help. When they were younger, you were able to swoop in and help. But now that they are older, they don’t seem interested in it.

One of the first things to know is that you’re not alone. Many other parents are worried and experiencing similar struggles with their teen. The second thing to know is that depression is treatable and there are things that parents can do to best support their child. Below are 5 ways to help if your teen is dealing with depression.

  1. Be Supportive

Listen to your teen. Let them know you are there for them to listen and support them. Try to understand things from their perspective. Empathize and try to validate their feelings without supporting any unhealthy behavior. For example, you could say, “it sounds like you’ve been feeling really low, and I know it must be difficult to get through each day. How can I support you?”

It may feel challenging to support your teen when you feel frustrated and afraid for the way their depression has been affecting them. However, your support is invaluable. Try not to be judgmental or critical, but to remain calm and compassionate.

2. Avoid Trying to Control or Fix Their Problems for Them

It may feel passive to listen and support. As a parent, you can see what they need to do and all you may want to do is problem solve and resolve their issues for them. It is natural to feel this way. However, increasing your control over their behavior and problem solving for them can come across as judgmental, controlling, or invalidating. Your teen will need to learn how to manage their feelings and problem solve on their own. Your guidance, relationship, and support are essential during this time.

3. Encourage Positive Behaviors and Coping

Depression can result from a lack of positive experience in the environment. With the pressures of high school and college admissions, this can particularly be the case. Try to notice when your teen is engaging in healthy, positive behaviors such as spending time with friends, or going on a walk to relax and unwind. Spend quality time with them and encourage them to engage in activities that will improve their activity and functioning, such as taking a run, walking the dog, spending time with friends, engaging in a hobby. Encourage these opportunities without criticism or judgment. It’s understandable that your teen may be doing less of these activities, as that is a sign of depression. Gently let them know you understand, validating their feelings, while encouraging them to continue engaging in life’s activities.

4. Learn about depression

Try to learn more about the signs and symptoms of depression. Speak with other parents and connect with resources available to you. This can help with understanding how best to support your teen, particularly if you have not experienced depression yourself. Some helpful resources include:

Child Mind Institute - Childhood and Teen Depression

Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression

Mayo Clinic - Teen Depression

5. Get Your Teen Treatment

Therapy can be a great source of support and treatment for depression. In therapy, your teen will have a safe place where they can work through their feelings and learn skills that have been found helpful and effective in managing depression. Many studies in particular, have found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for the treatment of depression.

Your teen may or may not be interested in therapy. This is normal. Try to involve them in your search for a therapist. Have them look through websites and meet with different therapists to get a sense of fit and connection. While the therapist will meet with teens for one on one sessions, its also important you feel comfortable with the therapist and will be able have time meeting one on one with the therapist as a parent for guidance on how best to support your child.

Overall, it can be overwhelming when your teen begins to experience symptoms of depression, but know that much can be done to help support them.


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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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Acceptance, Calming, Quotes, Letting Go Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith Acceptance, Calming, Quotes, Letting Go Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith

17 Quotes on Love and Letting Go That'll Help You Move Forward and Heal Again

We all experience pain and heartbreak in our lives. It can be difficult to let go of past hurt and disappointments. With depression, we are often stuck in the past, and with anxiety, we are often worried about the future. The key to happiness is letting go and living in the present to feel more peace and enjoyment in life. Below are 17 letting go quotes that’ll help you move forward through difficult times and heal again.

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We all experience pain and heartbreak in our lives. It can be difficult to let go of past hurt and disappointments. With depression, we are often stuck in the past, and with anxiety, we are often worried about the future. The key to happiness is letting go and living in the present to feel more peace and enjoyment in life. Below are 17 letting go quotes that’ll help you move forward through difficult times and heal again.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.
— Hermann Hesse
In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.
— Deepak Chopra
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
— Alexander Graham Bell
There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.
— Jessica Hatchigan
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
— Lao Tzu
Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
— Oprah Winfrey
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.
— JK Rowling
We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
— Joseph Campbell
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.
— Steve Maraboli
When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.
— Gerald G. Jampolsky
If you didn’t love him, this never would have happened. But you did. And accepting that love and everything that followed it is part of letting it go.
— Sarah Dessen
Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.
— Tony Schwartz
Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.
— Stephen King
Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.
— Ann Landers
Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.
— Haruki Murakami
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
— Deborah Reber

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Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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25 Inspiring Quotes That'll Help You Cultivate More Peace, Presence, and Joy in Your Life

As we go about our days and work toward happiness, success, and freedom, we often forget to tune into life itself. We fall out of touch with our connection to others and to something larger than ourselves. We become stuck in thoughts about the future or past that we forget that life is happening now.

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As we go about our days and work toward happiness, success, and freedom, we often forget to tune into life itself. We fall out of touch with our connection to others and to something larger than ourselves. We become stuck in thoughts about the future or past that we forget that life is happening now.

These 25 quotes on mindfulness and spirituality remind us how to increase greater wisdom, peace, presence, and joy in our lives.

The past has no power over the present moment
— Eckhart Tolle
Step out of the circle of time and into the circle of love.
— Rumi
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practise compassion.
— The Dalai Lama
One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you”…whatever you’re feeling. Send random texts, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it…cause a smile today for someone else…and give plenty of hugs.
— Steve Maraboli
You and your purpose in life are the same thing. Your purpose is to be you.
— George Alexiou
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.
— Eckhart Tolle
Part of spiritual and emotional maturity is recognizing that it’s not like you’re going to try to fix yourself and become a different person. You remain the same person, but you become awakened.
— Jack Kornfield
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
— Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.
— Albert Einstein
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
— Kahlil Gibran
It is the inner life that is to spark the change in consciousness that will permit us to advance.
— Brother Wayne Teasdale
Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.
— Eckhart Tolle
Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.
— Eckhart Tolle
Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.
— Eckhart Tolle
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you.
— Eckhart Tolle
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you.
— Eckhart Tolle
Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.
— Eckhart Tolle
In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.
— Eckhart Tolle
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
— Denis Waitley
At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
— Henry Miller
Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you.
— Eckhart Tolle
You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.
— Henry David Thoreau
When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.
— Marcus Aurelius
Awakening is not changing who you are, but discarding who you are not.
— Deepak Chopra

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!


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35 Positive Affirmations for Anxiety and Depression That Will Transform Your Life

Thoughts affect your reality — they create an energy and perspective that shape your actions. Positive affirmations can help you adopt a positive mindset and changes in your life. Although there are many things in life we cannot choose, we can always choose new thoughts and perspectives — new ways of thinking and possibilities for the future.

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Thoughts affect your reality — they create an energy and perspective that shape your actions. Positive affirmations can help you adopt a positive mindset and changes in your life. Although there are many things in life we cannot choose, we can always choose new thoughts and perspectives — new ways of thinking and possibilities for the future.

Here are 35 positive affirmations from author and speaker Louise Hay, to inspire you and heal your life of anxiety, stress, and depression, to bring you comfort, joy, and peace.

All is well in my world. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe!
It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.
The point of power is always in the present moment.
Every thought we think is creating our future.
I forgive myself and set myself free.
I am Divinely guided and protected at all times.
I trust the process of life.
Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.
I am loved, and I am at peace.
My happy thoughts help create my healthy body.
I love and approve of myself.
I have compassion for all.
I deserve all that is good.
I now live in limitless love, light, and joy.
It is safe for me to speak up for myself.
I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.
Today is a sacred gift from Life.
I cross all bridges with joy and ease.
I experience love wherever I go.
I do not have to prove myself to anyone.
I trust my intuition. I am willing to listen to that still, small voice within.
I am greeted by love wherever I go.
The past is over.
I welcome miracles into my life.
I am in the process of positive change.
Nourishing myself is a joyful experience, and I am worth the time spent on my healing.
Whatever I need to know is revealed to me at exactly the right time.
I trust the process of life.
I listen with love to my body’s messages.
I forgive myself for not being perfect.
All is well in my world. I am calm, happy and content.
I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.
Life is very simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.
As I say yes to life, life says yes to me.
I am at home in my body.

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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Love, Quotes, Vulnerability, Intimacy Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith Love, Quotes, Vulnerability, Intimacy Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith

18 Beautiful Quotes About Intimacy and Love

Intimacy is often confused with sex, but in actuality it involves feeling deeply emotionally connected with another person and a desire to be deeply known. Intimacy is not something achieved quickly, but rather something that continues to mature and develop over time.

Intimacy is often confused with sex, but in actuality it involves feeling deeply emotionally connected with another person and a desire to be deeply known. Intimacy is not something achieved quickly, but rather something that continues to mature and develop over time, like a garden or fine wine. Although intimacy is something many of us long for, not all of us find or experience it in our relationships. This is because intimacy involves being vulnerable — taking emotional risks and working through the fear of allowing another person to see you as you truly are. It involves trust, caring, acceptance, safety, and connection. To nurture intimacy is to be willing to show all sides of yourself, to embrace differences, to grow from conflict, and to choose our partners — the individuals we share our hearts with — wisely.

Below are 18 quotes on intimacy and love demonstrating their beauty and timelessness.

It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.
— John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
I wonder if this is how people always get close: They heal each other’s wounds; they repair the broken skin.
— Lauren Oliver
Most people are slow to champion love because they fear the transformation it brings into their lives. And make no mistake about it: love does take over and transform the schemes and operations of our egos in a very mighty way.
— Aberjhani
True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.
— ichael Bassey Johnson
The deepest moments of intimacy occur when you’re not talking.
— Patricia Love
Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens; darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be a place where we can hide from our weaknesses, but rather where we can safely let them go. It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery of an intimate relationship, because it takes the strength to endure a kind of psychic surgery, an emotional and psychological and even spiritual initiation into the higher Self. Only then can we know an enchantment that lasts.
— Marianne Williamson
They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
Love is like breathing. You take it in and let it out.
— Wally Lamb
Intimacy is a totally different dimension. It is allowing the other to come into you, to see you as you see yourself.
— Osho
Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved.
— John O'Donohue
Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive. At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to protect ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth or to hide. To dive into life or to avoid it. Intimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth at that moment.
— Geneen Roth
It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.
— Jane Austen
If you love a person and live the whole life with him or with her, a great intimacy will grow and love will have deeper and deeper revelations to make to you. It is not possible if you go on changing partners very often. It is as if you go on changing a tree from one place to another, then another; then it never grows roots anywhere. To grow roots, a tree needs to remain in one place. Then it goes deeper; then it becomes stronger. Intimacy is good, and to remain in one commitment is beautiful, but the basic necessity is love. If a tree is rooted in a place where there are only rocks and they are killing the tree, then it is better to remove it. Then don’t insist that it should remain in the one place. Remain true to life – remove the tree, because now it is going against life.
— Osho
If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend.
— Henri Nouwen
Real intimacy is only possible to the degree that we can be honest about what we are doing and feeling.
— Joyce Brothers
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
— Maya Angelou
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
— Ann Landers
To grow in our ability to love ourselves we need to receive love as well.
— John Gray

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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Quotes, Self-Compassion Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith Quotes, Self-Compassion Dr. Victoria Chialy Smith

18 Quotes to Inspire Self-Kindness and Self-Compassion

Sometimes it’s hard to accept who we are. We struggle with feeling comfortable in our own skin. We’re hard on ourselves and can’t help but see all the flaws. What’s needed is compassion — not only for others, but ourselves. Here are 18 quotes to inspire self-compassion and peace.

hope+wellness victoria chialy smith top psychologist mclean arlington

Sometimes it’s hard to accept who we are. We struggle with feeling comfortable in our own skin. We’re hard on ourselves and can’t help but see all the flaws. What’s needed is compassion — not only for others, but ourselves. Here are 18 quotes to inspire self-compassion and peace.

Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.
— Christopher Germer
You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
— Louise L. Hay
Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.
— Kristin Neff
Painful feelings are, by their very nature, temporary. They will weaken over time as long as we don’t prolong or amplify them through resistance or avoidance. The only way to eventually free ourselves from debilitating pain, therefore, is to be with it as it is. The only way out is through.
— Kristin Neff
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
— Joseph Campbell
This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.
— Kristin Neff
Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, so that we can give from our surplus, our abundance. When we nurture others from a place of fullness, we feel renewed instead of taken advantage of.
— Jennifer Louden
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
It is a beautiful experience being with ourselves at a level of complete acceptance. When that begins to happen, when you give up resistance and needing to be perfect, a peace will come over you as you have never known.
— Ruth Fishel
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.
— Dalai Lama
Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.
— Christopher Germer
It’s like a mother, when the baby is crying, she picks up the baby and she holds the baby tenderly in her arms. Your pain, your anxiety is your baby. You have to take care of it. You have to go back to yourself, to recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get a relief.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Talk to yourself as you would someone you love.
— Brene Brown
If you do not respect your own wishes, no one else will. You will simply attract people who disrespect you as much as you do.
— Vironika Tugaleva
To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight.
— e.e. cummings
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
— Jack Kornfield
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.
— Kristen Neff

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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Hope+Wellness is a mental health practice specializing in the treatment of depression, mood, stress, and anxiety in kids, teens, and adults. This is a blog about living well and finding meaning and purpose in the face of difficult challenges. This is a blog about finding hope.