4 Tips for Coping with Depression

Everything feels harder when living with depression. You drag yourself out of bed and force yourself to get through the day. Friends invite you to go out, but you find yourself preferring to stay in. You try to participate in your usual activities, but they no longer spark joy. Around you, everyone seems to know where their life is heading, and what it all means. You feel empty, as if life is meaningless.

Depression can be tough to live with, but the good news is that there are ways to manage symptoms and improve your life.

Get active

Emotions and behaviors are related. For example, when you’re feeling depressed (i.e., emotion), you may prefer to isolate from friends and family (i.e., behavior). In this way, emotions can lead to behaviors. However, the opposite is also true. This means that engaging in behaviors and positive activities such as spending time with friends, can lead to improvements in mood. Try it out — create a list of positive activities to do when you’re feeling depressed, and get active.

Improve Sleep

Research demonstrates strong associations between sleep and mood. For instance, depression is linked to insomnia and sleep disruption, and individuals with insomnia are at higher risk for depression. Improvements in sleep hygiene can thus help, including having a regular sleep routine, turning off electronics an hour before bed, and implementing regular sleep and wake times.

Increase Social Support

Depression can make you want to isolate from others, but the opposite — spending time with friends and family — is what can actually help. Spend time developing stronger connections with others and get help and support.

Challenge Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is a hallmark feature of depression. Oftentimes depression can cause you to believe these thoughts and over identify with them. It is thus important to begin identify negative thoughts, to challenge and replace them with more balanced or positive thoughts. This can be tough to do since depression can color your thoughts and mood. However, treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help either manage negative thoughts or form new perspectives on them.

---

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

19 Powerful Brene Brown Quotes on Embracing Vulnerability, Love, and Belonging

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor whose work on vulnerability, shame, empathy has inspired millions of people to embrace imperfection, to hope and love wholeheartedly. Her words are especially powerful for those of us who never quite comfortable in our own skin, who feel as if we have to ‘hustle’ for love or worthiness. If you’ve ever felt this way — felt as if you’re never quite enough — read her words and be reminded that we’re all in this together. You’re beautiful in your vulnerability. You’re worthy. You belong.

Brene Brown Quotes on Vulnerability, Love, and Belonging

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

— Brené Brown

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”

— Brené Brown

“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

— Brené Brown

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

— Brené Brown

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

— Brené Brown

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

— Brené Brown

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

— Brené Brown

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.”

— Brené Brown

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.”

— Brené Brown

“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”

— Brené Brown

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

— Brené Brown

“Numb the dark and you numb the light.”

— Brené Brown

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

— Brené Brown

“Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable.”

— Brené Brown

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

— Brené Brown

“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.”

— Brené Brown

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

— Brené Brown

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness–it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

— Brené Brown

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

— Brené Brown

---

Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

16 Calming Quotes to Relieve Stress and Anxiety

We all experience stress and anxiety in our lives, but when it begins to interfere with the quality of our lives, it’s time to let go. We worry about our relationships. We get anxious about work and what colleagues think of us. We worry about all that we say or do — things we’ve done in the past, things we might do in the future. Soon, many of us get caught into this trap of worry that we forget to live our lives as it was intended. We lose our flow.

So let go of all the ways you thought life would unfold. Let go of the struggle and fear. Let go and find a place of peace and transformation. Below are 16 stress-relieving quotes and perspectives to help.

“In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go.”

— Jack Kornfield

“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”

— Henry Miller

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

— Lao Tzu

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”

— Confucius

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.”

— Proverb

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”

— Wayne W. Dyer

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

— William James

“Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.”

— Hans Selye

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

— Joseph Campbell

“There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.”

— James Carroll

“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”

— Hermann Hesse

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”

— James Allen

“To experience peace doesn’t mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”

— Jill Bolte Taylor

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present. ”

— Eckhart Tolle

---

clinical psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

7 Ways to Cope When Life is Hard: DBT IMPROVE the moment

Sometimes painful events happen in our lives that we can’t change. Death. Serious illness. Mistakes you’ve made and now can’t take back. Disappointment. Heartbreak. In times like this, it’s hard to know what to do and how to cope. We feel helpless and out of control. We’re often tempted to avoid, to numb, to turn toward substances, self-harm, or other activities. In the short term, they help us cope. But in the long term, they are destructive and only add to our suffering.

In these circumstances, there is a certain amount of pain that is just there and which we must learn and work to tolerate and live with. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers strategies to help you tolerate distress during difficult times, in the moment — to continually turn the mind toward acceptance and healthy ways of coping with pain.

DBT Distress Tolerance: IMPROVE the Moment

Sometimes the best thing we can do in situations where we don’t have control over the outcome or the current situation is to avoid making things worse. According to DBT, one way to tolerate high levels of distress and suffering is with the acronym IMPROVE the moment, which stands for the following.

I: Imagery. Imagery is when you imagine yourself in a different situation other than the one you are in. You could imagine yourself in a safe place, a beautiful place, or simply another place that’s different than the one you’re in. Imagine a beautiful beach, a peaceful forest, in a safe place, or visualize yourself as okay and doing well.

M: Meaning. Finding meaning in the situation can help you cope with the worst of pain. This means trying to find spiritual meaning if you are spiritual. You can read books, speak to spiritual mentors or teachers, such as priests or rabbis. You can spend time writing or with friends reflecting on what the lesson could be in this, what the greater purpose might be. From finding meaning, you’ll find that you’ll have greater compassion for others in pain and better able to cope with pain yourself.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

— Viktor E. Frankl

P:Prayer. Prayer can be incredibly helpful in times of crisis; it is a spiritual practice that is not necessarily religious. There are different ways to pray. One way is with words, in which you can pray to a higher power. You can talk and release some of your distress and grief. Another way to pray is by opening up. It’s not so much with words, but with your heart and emotions. Open your heart up to compassion and kindness, love and peace.

R: Relaxation. Sometimes in crises, we get tense and stressed out so it can help to relax. There are different ways to relax, including getting a massage, going on walks, and meditation. Focus on your breath and how it feels as is moves through your nose, down your throat, and your chest as it rises. Sometimes tensing and then releasing your muscles can also help.

O: One Thing in the Moment. It can help to completely and totally throw yourself into the present moment. When we’re distressed, we’re often thinking about the past, or caught up in fears bout the future. Fully bring your attention into whatever activity you are doing and participate in it completely.

V: Vacation. Vacations can help to destress and obtain some perspective on distressing situations. You can take a full vacation, a mini vacation, or a vacation around town. Vacations can be as brief as 5 minutes from the office. The key is to rest and to take care of yourself.

E: Encouragement. The things you say to yourself can affect how you feel. Try it — say “I can’t do this, I’m horrible, this is awful.’ How do you feel? Compare that to, “This is awful but I can do this. I can find my way. I’m not perfect but 'I’m strong.’ Encouragement can be very powerful.

it’s often said that the only way through grief or pain is through it — not around it, not above or below it, but through. With the IMPROVE set of DBT distress tolerance skills, you can do this, you can make it through this period of your life to greater life and hope.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

— Viktor E. Frankl

---

clinical psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

4 Ways to Train Your Brain for Greater Happiness and Success

Life is hard and it can be painful. As humans faced with this pain and difficulty, we can get stuck in it, and feel heavy and burdened. When faced with barriers, we feel overwhelmed. When things get uncomfortable or distressing, we begin to avoid the discomfort — until eventually we forget what is truly important to us and our lives. Some of us lose hope and forget our dreams. Others give up dreaming altogether.

But there is a way forward.

ACT — Acceptance and Commitment Therapy — teaches us how to move from avoidance to acceptance and valued directions in our lives. Using it, we can train our minds to become more flexible, open, and able to accept the pain that life brings, all while moving towards our values — the things we find truly important in our lives.

Research shows that the human brain is plastic. It can be trained to learn new skills and patterns of thinking, which in turn influence new actions in your life. It’s not easy — it takes time, support, patience, and consistent practice — but it can be done.

A good place to start training your mind is with the acronym DARE. According to ACT, DARE stands for the following:

D: Defusion. Acknowledge your thoughts. Observe them. Recognize them for what they are — thoughts, and rather than seeing through them, let them pass like leaves on a stream.

A: Acceptance of discomfort. Make room for unpleasant emotions. Breathe into them. Make room for them and allow space for them in order to do what matters to you.

R: Realistic goals. Break down large goals into smaller, actionable tasks. Gain the necessary skills to achieve goals. Problem solve ways to obtain resources needed for goals. Adjust goals so that they are specific, measurable, and able to be accomplished. This will help you increase success and enable continued patterns of achieving goals.

E: Embrace values. Explore what is important to you. What would success, happiness, and living a whole life mean to you and what would it specifically look like? Connect your goals to your values. Are your goals serving a greater purpose for you? Do you feel that they are meaningful? Do they move you toward the person and life you want to live?

It might not be easy, but change is possible. The question then, is whether you are wiling to take the first initial steps towards change and to embrace the discomfort that goes along with it, if it means that you would be moving towards the greater, fuller life you envision for yourself.

(The source of the above acronym is from Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap. If you found this post helpful, I highly recommend checking his work out or finding a therapist who practices Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help support you toward your desired goals.)

---

psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

19 Inspiring Acceptance Quotes on Moving Forward and Letting Go

It can be hard to accept what is difficult, something you would rather not be the case. It can be hard to accept life’s disappointments — things you feel as if you will never get past or move on from.

But the truth is that it is possible. I know not only through my work as a psychologist, but also because I’ve been there. If you can accept what is, if you can face it, then you can move forward through it and find greater peace and wholeness.

Below are 19 acceptance quotes to help you move forward and let go.

“I think that you never fall out of love with somebody, you just let go and move on.”

— Ashley Rickards

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.”

— Lao Tzu

“There’s no point in arguing and loving someone who doesn’t want to be with you and doesn’t want to keep you in his life.. the real person will try harder to reach out and work for the best and what’s supposed to be done to their relationship.. but things are not so good this time, it’s time to try letting go.”

— Ressha

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

— Steve Maraboli

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

— Deborah Reber

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

— Stephen King

“What happens when you let go, when your strength leaves you and you sink into darkness, when there’s nothing that you or anyone else can do, no matter how desperate you are, no matter how you try? Perhaps it’s then, when you have neither pride nor power, that you are saved, brought to an unimaginably great reward.”

— Mark Halperin

“They say when you really love someone, you should be willing to set them free. So that is what I am doing. I will step back and you will move on. I will let you go….Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere, like a warm and comforting glow.”

— Tabitha Suzuma

“Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.”

— Lee Goff

“Letting go of someone we love is the hardest thing we will ever do. Some people never surrender to love for the fear of being hurt. But to not have loved, to not have felt the immense joy it brings, would have been a far worse kind of death.”

— Goldie Hawn

“Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.”

— Tere Arigo

“Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger.”

— Sara Evans

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”

— Ann Lander

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.”

— Haruki Murakami

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

— Steve Maraboli

“The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go.”

— C. JoyBell C.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

— Lao Tzu

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”

— J.K. Rowling

---

Falls church psychologist, therapist in tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

3 Simple Ways to Cultivate Kindness and Self-Compassion

Sometimes we make mistakes that we beat ourselves up for to no end. The voice in our head gets louder and louder and just. wont. stop. Why did you think that was a good idea? it says. How could you have been so selfish? Often times, these thoughts lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and depression. It isn’t surprising to learn that those of us who experience this may have had childhoods deeply impacted by abuse or chronic stress or family dysfunction.

How then, do you learn to love yourself, to change the internal voice and feelings about yourself from criticism and loathing to one of love and compassion? It may be counter intuitive for many of us to feel as if it is okay to love oneself, rather than to judge or criticize. But in fact, to love oneself with kindness and self-compassion, with warmth and gentle support is healthy.

No you’re not perfect. You’re human. And you make mistakes. And that’s okay! You’re loved and valued, and this is unconditionally true, no matter what you’ve done or what you’ve been through. You’re so much more than your worst mistakes.

So how do you begin cultivating kindness and self-compassion?

1. Practice mindfulness.

   Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment, non-judgmentally, and with acceptance. Mindfulness is a powerful way to cultivate kindness and self-compassion because it helps you realize that you’re not your thoughts. Instead, you are the person observing your thoughts. You are the observer. The harsh self-critical thoughts are just that — thoughts — and not necessarily true. Moreover, mindfulness helps increase calm and reduce suffering and stress.

2. Practice Loving Kindness

   As you meditate, send feelings of loving kindness toward yourself and for your loved ones, friends, or others. To do this, in your mind you can try reciting loving and kind wishes to yourself or others in your life. For example, you could say, “May I experience peace today, and greater awareness of the goodness of others.” “May I practice gratitude and take time to slowly enjoy my day.” You can also think of what you would say to a small child or a friend, and say them to yourself. For example, “You’ve been through a lot this past year. It’s okay if you’re feeling down. I’m here for you. I love you.” Practice this for at least one minute each day and slowly you’ll feel more compassion and connectedness.

3. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Know that it’s okay to be human and to be imperfect. Actually, there is no one in this world who is perfect and we are all flawed and in this together. Know that there is a beauty in imperfection and vulnerability and in our humanity that is far greater than any perfection. Vulnerability not only increases our connectedness with others, but it allows us to see others and ourselves with softer, kinder eyes. Not eyes of harshness or judgment, but of love and humanity.

The process of becoming the people we are fully meant to be and toward being kinder and more compassionate and loving to ourselves is a lifelong journey. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. These three tips help provide a beginning point, but it can help to work with a supportive therapist to provide a safe space to work through some of these difficult emotions toward greater health and wholeness.

---

arlington psychologist, therapist in tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

29 Life Changing Quotes from Eckhart Tolle to Help You Cultivate Peace and Awaken to Your Life's Purpose

Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher with multiple New York Times bestselling books, including The Power of Now and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. What is powerful about his books is the element of his own personal lived experience, in which he discusses his many years spent in a deep depression to a state of inner transformation and peace. Although our culture often promotes happiness as the result of reaching towards future goals, Eckhart Tolle teaches that happiness is available in the present and now, and that in fact, the gift of the present moment is all that really exists.

On the Present Moment

“The past has no power over the present moment.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it - don’t let the feeling turn into thinking. Don’t judge or analyze. Don’t make an identity for yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of “the one who observes,” the silent watcher. This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence. Then see what happens.”

— Eckhart Tolle

On Anxiety and Peace

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“All the things that truly matter, beauty, love, creativity, joy and inner peace arise from beyond the mind.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Whenever you become anxious or stressed, outer purpose has taken over, and you lost sight
of your inner purpose. You have forgotten that your state of consciousness is primary, all else secondary.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Don’t look for peace. Don’t look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender”

— Eckhart Tolle

“With stillness comes the benediction of Peace.”

— Eckhart Tolle

On Change

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”

— Eckhart Tolle

On Gratitude

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“The significance is hiding in the insignificant. Appreciate everything.”

— Eckhart Tolle

On Awakening to Yourself

“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to “die before you die” —- and find that there is no death.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became possessed by thought.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Even a stone, and more easily a flower or a bird, could show you the way back to God, to the Source, to yourself. When you look at it or hold it & let it be without imposing a word of mental label on it, a sense of awe, of wonder, arises within you. Its essence silently communicates itself to you and reflects your own essence back to you.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“You are here to enable the divine purpose of the Universe to unfold. That is how important you are!”

— Eckhart Tolle

“Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.”

— Eckhart Tolle

“To recognize one’s own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence.”

— Eckhart Tolle

mclean psychologist, therapist in tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

12 Quotes to Inspire You to Focus on Yourself Instead of Others

Sometimes it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. Around you, everyone else seems to know what they want out of life. They’re finding the right relationships and advancing their careers, but you feel lost, unsure of yourself and what direction to head towards. It’s hard to know who you are and where you belong in the world.

You try and do your best but it never seems to be enough. There’s so much pressure to achieve and you find yourself trying to fit within certain molds or expectations.

When you’re feeling this way, it helps to go within. Spending time focusing on others drains your energy and can take away from what your own sense of purpose and passions. So focus instead on what’s important to you, and what you bring to your own life. Because you’re the only person in this world who can be you, which is awesome. We each have our own paths and contributions in life. So spend time working to discover that which is within yourself, the greatness, light, and cultivate that spark.

Here are 12 Quotes to Inspire You to Focus on Yourself Instead of Others

“The way you step up your game is not to worry about the other guy in any situation, because you can’t control the other guy. You only have control over yourself. So it’s like running a race. The energy that it takes to look back and see where the other guys are takes energy away from you. And if they’re too close, it scares you. So, that’s what I would say to my team all the time: Don’t waste your time in the race looking back to see where the other guy is or what the other guy is doing. It’s not about the other guy. It’s about what can you do. You just need to run that race as hard as you can. You need to give it everything you’ve got, all the time, for yourself.”

— Oprah

“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow”

— Unknown

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s trying its best to make you somebody else is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting. ”

— EE Cummings

“Sometimes it takes dealing with a disability — the trauma, the relearning, the months of rehabilitation therapy — to uncover our true abilities, and how we can put them to use for us in ways we may have never imagined. ”

— Senator Tammy Duckworth

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into the flames of achievement.”

— Unknown

“What if you simply devoted this year to loving yourself more?”

— Unknown

“I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and continue to learn with all your might.”

— Daisaku Ikeda, Discussions on Youth

“Life on earth is a whole, yet it expresses itself in unique time-bound bodies, microscopic or visible, plant or animal, extinct or living. So there can be no one place to be. There can be no one way to be, no one way to practice, no one way to learn, no one way to love, no one way to grow or to heal, no one way to live, no one way to feel, no one thing to know or be known. The particulars count.”

— Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don’t waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually people will see what you are great at doing, and if you are truly great, success will come chasing after you.”

— Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

“Don’t always be appraising yourself, wondering if you are better or worse than other writers. “I will not Reason and Compare,” said Blake; “my business is to Create.” Besides, since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of Time, you are incomparable.”

— Brenda Ueland, If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit

“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”

— Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

---

mclean psychologist, therapist in tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

15 Beautiful Quotes to Inspire Gratitude

There is power in gratitude. Life gets busy and we forget what we have. Gratitude recenters us, grounds us, focuses us on the richness in our lives.

Often times, its the simple things that can bring us joy. A smile we are grateful for. Ice cream sorbet on a hot summer’s night. Time spent with a friend. A hot shower at the end of a long day.

The truth is, we need to make gratitude a priority. It’s easy to get lost in doing that we forget to simply be. Moreover, gratitude invites other positives in your life, such as greater connection with others, kindness, improved resilience, decreased anxiety, increased self esteem and spirituality, improved sleep, and happiness.

Here are 15 beautiful gratitude quotes to help you reflect and to inspire you.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

— Marcel Proust

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet. ”

— Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”

— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

— Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

“Forget yesterday - it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow - you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift - today.”

— Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”

— Maya Angelou

“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”

— Kahill Gibran, The Prophet

“Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.”

— Deepak Chopra

“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.”

— Mary Davis

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

— Robert Brault

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

— Melody Beattie

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.”

— Kristin Armstrong

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

— William Arthur Ward

“The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.”

— Robert Holden

---

clinical psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!