3 Ways to Find Meaning and Purpose in Your Life

Some days, it can be hard to feel a sense of purpose in our lives.

We go through our days on autopilot. Everything feels as if it is a box to be checked. We have the job we want. The cars and the house. And yet somewhere inside, we wonder, what is this all leading to? What is the point of any of this? Where is the meaning in life?

In fact, meaning and purpose are adaptive and associated with improved emotional and physical outcomes. Meaning and purpose do not only arise out of discovery and development of your own unique gifts and talents, but also through service and connection to others and the greater community.

Here are 3 ways to cultivate passion and purpose in your life.

1. Use your pain and suffering for something greater

Sometimes life brings difficult events that are difficult to overcome. We walk through deep and dark places, grappling to make sense of the pain. Pain that seems senseless can be especially difficult to bear.

It’s counterintuitive, but you can use pain to grow and to discover your greater purpose. By turning toward the pain and embracing it, you can find the greater lessons within them, using them as an opportunity to turn wounds to wisdom. Sorrow and pain don’t have to be life defining, but instead, used as opportunities to move in a different direction.

So rise above the pain to use it for something greater. Oprah suffered a miscarriage at 14 to become one of the most influential women in the media. Charlize Theron grew up with an abusive father to become a celebrated actress. Amy Bleuel founded Project Semicolon, a mental health nonprofit presenting hope to individuals struggling with suicide, to honor her father’s passing due to suicide. There is a greater purpose to your pain, and your job is to find it. Struggles happen to strengthen you.

“Your purpose is hidden within your wounds.”

— Rune Lazuli

2. Focus on Running Your Own Race

Everyone has their own unique purpose in life. The truth is that you’re awesome — a collection of billions of cells, made of stardust. There’s only one person in this world who has the life and destiny you can live and its you. So spend time running your own race as hard and as well as you can.

“You are the only you that will ever be. You’re kind of a big deal.”

— Jen Sincero

3. Tell Your Story

Research shows that those who are able to create meaning out of suffering, and to create a new narrative of their lives after loss, live with greater purpose and fulfillment. Spend time thinking about how struggles and loss have helped you change and grow to overcome life’s adversities. Work to make sense of your experiences. Share your journey to help others feel less alone. Along the way, you’ll find connection, community, and purpose. To see this in action, check out The Mighty, which features a community of individuals, blogging and facing chronic health issues and mental illness together.

“Hardships prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary life.”

— C.S. Lewis

child psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

7 Amazing Ways to Practice Gratitude

Gratitude helps us focus on our lives in a new way. It helps us to be present with our loved ones, and present in our lives. Rather than living in one’s thoughts and feeling trapped in feelings of anxiety, stress, or depression, we’re open and receptive to new ways of thinking and feeling. There’s something freeing about gratitude, and something amazing about how it can open up and expand our hearts.

The trouble is, its hard to be grateful. Trust me, as someone who has tried for years at it, it’s not easy! But the benefits of gratitude are worth it: we’re happier and lighter. We gain perspective on our life. And we’re present for it.

7 Amazing Ways to Practice Gratitude

1. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you are grateful for each day.

2. Think of a simple thing to be grateful for. It could be something as simple as ice cream on a hot summer day. In your mind, say, ‘Thank you for..!’

3. Observe and be mindful as you go about your day of the small things or people in life that cheer you up, make you feel better, or your life easier.

4. Smile at someone and help make their day brighter

5. Contribute your time and efforts toward a cause you care about. Over time you’ll notice that the more you give, the more you also receive. Funny how life works sometimes..

6. Choose a symbol, like a bracelet, necklace or a small stone. Whenever you touch it, think of something that you are grateful for. In this way, it serves as a meditative reminder to you throughout the day — something to help ground you no matter what the day brings. '

7. Do something nice for someone you love. It can be big or small. Sometimes its the small things that bring great joy and happiness.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

3 Life Changing Poems That You Need to Read

Walk Slowly by Danna Faulds

It only takes a reminder to breathe,
a moment to be still, and just like that,
something in me settles, softens, makes
space for imperfection. The harsh voice
of judgment drops to a whisper and I
remember again that life isn't a relay
race; that we will all cross the finish
line; that waking up to life is what we
were born for. As many times as I
forget, catch myself charging forward
without even knowing where I'm going,
that many times I can make the choice
to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk
slowly into the mystery.

Let it Go by Danna Faulds

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold:
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations – Let it all go.
Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now will
only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts
to flee from the very energy you long for. Let go.
Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes
through your days whether you received it gently
or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith; the mind may never find the
explanations that it seeks, but you will move forward
nonetheless. Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry
you to unknown shores, beyond your wildest dreams
or destinations. Let it all go and find the place of
rest and peace, and certain transformation.

Allow (Danna Faulds)

There is no controlling life. 
Try corralling a lightning bolt, 
containing a tornado. Dam a 
stream and it will create a new 
channel. Resist, and the tide 
will sweep you off your feet. 
Allow, and grace will carry 
you to higher ground. The only 
safety lies in letting it all in – 
the wild and the weak; fear, 
fantasies, failures and success. 
When loss rips off the doors of 
the heart, or sadness veils your 
vision with despair, practice 
becomes simply bearing the truth. 
In the choice to let go of your 
known way of being, the whole 
world is revealed to your new eyes.  

If you enjoyed these poems, check out Dana’s books, including Go In and In: Poems From the Heart of Yoga, Limitless, From Root to Bloom, and Breath of Joy.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

5 Things You Need to Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may have been a term you’ve heard before when researching therapy options, but what is it and what does it mean? What’s so amazing about it?

1. CBT has been shown to be effective for a wide range of presenting concerns, including depression and anxiety. It has also been found to contribute to significant improvements in functioning and quality of life.

2. CBT has been studied extensively in both research and clinical practice. Its efficacy is evidence based and scientifically informed. There is much scientific evidence showing that CBT is effective in producing meaningful change and improvements for clients.

3. One of the core principles of CBT is that anxiety, depression, and problems with mood are related to unhelpful behaviors and patterns of thoughts. People can thus learn new, healthy ways of thinking and coping to effectively relieve symptoms and improve their lives.

4. Psychologists and clients work together collaboratively to develop goals and to actively target symptoms. Time is spent examining present-day issues, thoughts, and behaviors.

5. Skills clients develop through CBT may include learning how to face fears, , problem solving difficult situations, recognizing patterns of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, and ways to calm the mind and body.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

15 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes That Will Help You Feel Less Alone

15 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes That Will Help You Feel Less Alone

It’s hard to live with depression, anxiety, and stress and it can feel lonely at times, as if others cant or dont understand. But the truth is that there are people out there who do, who have been through their own journeys and struggles. Here are some quotes that will help you feel less alone.

“I fight for my health every day in ways most people don’t understand. I’m not lazy. I’m a warrior.”

“Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade.”

— Rudyard Kipling

“Failure is a great teacher and, if you are open to it, every mistake has a lesson to offer.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“Your illness is not your identity. Your chemistry is not your character.”

— Pastor Rick Warren

“Even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.”

— Charlie from “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”

“’I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’”

— J.R.R. Tolkien from “The Fellowship of the Ring“

“You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.”

— Max Lucado

“In the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.”

— Albert Camus

“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”

— Steve Maraboli

“One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. Not unlike a tour of Afghanistan (though the bombs and bullets, in this case, come from the inside). At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.”

— Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.”

— John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

“There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.”

— Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

“But no matter how much evil I see, I think it’s important for everyone to understand that there is much more light than darkness.”

— Robert Uttaro

“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”

— Joubert Botha

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

— Amy March

Which of the quotes was your favorite? Did any of them resonate with you? Let us know in the comments below; we’d love to hear from you.

therapist serving mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

24 Resources for Children and Teens with Anxiety and Their Families

We all experience anxiety, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and begin to interfere with your child’s daily functioning and quality of life. For example. some anxiety is healthy and natural when we are taking tests as it can help enhance performance. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, it can disrupt performance for children. Sometimes when anxious, children may begin to avoid certain triggering situations and events, such as peers, teachers, or school itself. The avoidance then serves to maintain the anxiety and to worsen it over time. As a parent, how can you help your child break free of anxiety, out of their mind and into their life?

It can be difficult to find resources to help. Here, we list websites, books, organizations, apps, and videos for valuable information and support.

organizations providing information and resources on child anxiety

These organizations provide invaluable information on anxiety and how to cope with it. They also provide listings of resources you may find helpful.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America - Anxiety and Depression in Children

https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/anxiety-and-depression

National Institute of Mental Health

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

Child Mind Institute

https://childmind.org/topics/concerns/anxiety/

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

websites providing helpful information, handouts, and resources on child anxiety

These websites provide helpful information, handouts, and resources on anxiety and learning to cope with it.

Youth Anxiety BC

https://youth.anxietybc.com/

Anxiety.org

https://www.anxiety.org/causes-and-symptoms-of-anxiety-in-children

Worry Wise Kids

http://www.worrywisekids.org/

Brave Online - Helping Young Kids Overcome Anxiety

http://www.brave-online.com/

Coping Cat Parents

https://www.copingcatparents.com/Child_Anxiety_Tales

Anxiety Canada

https://www.anxietycanada.com/

blogs and online communities on child anxiety

Websites and forums featuring individuals writing about their journeys toward overcoming anxiety.

Parenting Anxious Kids

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxious-kids/

Anxiety Free Child Blog

http://anxietyfreechild.com/blog/

Turn Around Anxiety Blog

https://www.turnaroundanxiety.com/blog/

mindfulness exercises for child anxiety

Mindfulness Exercises for Children and Teens

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/

Cosmic Kids Mindfulness Meditation Videos

https://www.cosmickids.com/mindfulness-meditation-videos-kids/

Mindfulness for Kids YouTube Video Resources

https://www.theottoolbox.com/2018/01/mindfulness-for-kids-youtube-videos.html

anxiety apps

Headspace for kids

https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works

Breathe2Relax

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/breathe2relax/id425720246?mt=8

Calm

https://www.calm.com/

books for anxiety

These books are often recommended to patients by child psychologists who treat anxiety in children, and are written by clinical experts in the field.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-do Guides for Kids)

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety

Helping Your Anxious Child

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens

What resources have you found useful in helping your child manage anxiety? If you have any other resources that might be helpful for others, let us know in the comments below!

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Child Anxiety Treatment in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

3 Tips for Parenting a Child with Chronic Pain

It can be challenging to parent a child with chronic pain. Not only is it difficult to see your child in pain, but parents often feel helpless, stuck, and unsure of what to do to help ease the pain and mitigate its impacts on their child’s life and daily functioning. For instance, children with chronic pain often begin to miss school, become socially isolated, and feel increasingly depressed and anxious over time. So how can parents help support their children get back to life and functioning even in the face of pain?

1. Interdisciplinary Assessment and Treatment of Pediatric Chronic Pain

   One of the things that makes parenting a child with chronic pain so challenging is that what seems most intuitive and most natural when treating acute, short-term pain, such as rest, time off from school, can often worsen chronic pain. So it’s important to get a proper comprehensive evaluation done prior to treatment. You can find an interdisciplinary clinic which specializes in pediatric pain. These clinics specialize in appropriately assessing and diagnosing pain and will help you determine appropriate treatment. Specialists there can help your child learn to manage and maintain normal age-appropriate functioning despite the chronic pain.

   Because chronic pain is so complex, treatment must also be multifaceted and interdisciplinary to appropriately tailor treatment and target critical domains involved. Interdisciplinary programs often involve evaluation by a physician, psychologist, physical or occupational therapists. There are a few of these programs across the country, including here in Washington DC, at the Pain Medicine Care Complex at Children’s National Health Systems. Below is a list of a few programs with interdisciplinary pediatric pain programs:

   • Cincinnati Children’s Pain Management Clinic

   • Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children Pediatric Pain Management

   • Kennedy Krieger Institute Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program

   • Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania (CHOP) Pain Management Program

   • Boston Children’s Pain Treatment Center

   • Stanford Children’s Health Pediatric Pain Management

   • Seattle Children’s Pain Medicine Clinic

   • Cleveland Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Program

2. Work with your child’s physician, psychologist, and physical therapist to understand what activities can be tolerated by your child.

   Parents play an incredibly important role in treatment and in their child’s outcomes. The treatment of chronic pain is highly complex, so it is important to work hand in hand with your child’s specialist providers.

   It might seem counterintuitive, but oftentimes, parents are recommended by specialists to encourage normal, age appropriate activity by their children. It’s important that children maintain functioning despite the pain. It makes sense when you consider that children who begin to lose functioning such as frequent school absences, fall behind, become stressed, increasingly depressed, anxious, and socially isolated, which are factors that can all contribute to worsening pain. Therefore, parents are often asked to provide positive reinforcement and praise for engaging in normal daily activities. Avoid questioning about the presence of pain. Consider whether the pain may have secondary functions such as avoidance or escape from undesirable activities. Work closely with your child’s treatment team to understand how you can best support your child emotionally and behaviorally. Because pain is so complex, all lifestyle factors must be considered and targeted.

3. Help your child get good sleep

   Sleep is often significantly affected in children with chronic pain. Pain and discomfort can make it very difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can result in increased and worsening pain during the day. Therefore, it is important for parents to help promote healthy sleep behaviors and a regular sleep-wake schedule in their children. Healthy sleep hygiene includes:

   • Limiting use of the bed for sleep (and not homework, watching TV or other activities)

   • A consistent bedtime routine

   • Limiting use of electronics

   • Consistent bedtime and waketimes

   • Limiting intake of caffeine, tea, coffee

   It can help to work with a psychologist who specializes in working with children with chronic pain. Sleep is an important area to address as it impacts pain, mood, as well as energy and ability to function and attend school, all of which in turn are also related to pain.

In sum, chronic pain in children can be difficult and stressful to navigate, but with time, appropriate specialized care, and parental support, children with chronic pain can manage it and reclaim their lives again for greater health and happiness.

Please read blog disclaimer below; this blog does not replace medical advice.

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pediatric psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

12 Quotes That Describe What It's Like to Live with Bipolar Disorder

It can be tough to live with bipolar disorder, which makes one prone to moods so incredibly varied, nuanced, and intense that most humans do not experience. Moods can be exhilarating and intoxicating, and yet also darkly devastating — sometimes all at once. This is why bipolar is somewhat of a misleading term — it implies that a person experiences two extremes of emotion, when the reality is that moods occur in different subtleties in their nature.

I like to think of emotions like a color palette — different colors can be mixed to create various shades and tones of mood. With bipolar, this ability is heightened so much so that moods themselves can be difficult to survive.

So what’s it like to live with bipolar disorder? Why is it associated with such a high rate of suicide? What are the struggles individuals with bipolar disorder face every day? What are some of the highs and lows and why is it so strongly associated with creativity?

Below are 12 quotes that describe different sides of bipolar disorder.

“I have a chemical imbalance that, in its most extreme state, will lead me to a mental hospital… I outlasted my problems. I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I’m still surviving it, but bring it on.”

— Carrie Fisher

“I was actually manic a lot of the times that I would take on workloads, and I would say, ‘Yes, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.’ I was conquering the world, but then it would all come crashing down and I would be more depressed than ever.”

— Demi Lovato

“When under the strain of bipolar’s strongest symptoms, we certainly can make selfish decisions, but that doesn’t make us selfish people. In fact, because we have struggled and known such depths of darkness, our compassion runs deeper.”

— Lyss Trayers

“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one’s marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against— you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”

— Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.”

— Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother

“Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.”

— Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life

“She was a free bird one minute: queen of the world and laughing. The next minute she would be in tears like a porcelain angel, about to teeter, fall and break. She never cried because she was afraid that something ‘would’ happen; she would cry because she feared something that could render the world more beautiful, ‘would not’ happen.”

— Roman Payne, The Wanderess

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.”

— Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Compared to bipolar’s magic, reality seems a raw deal. It’s not just the boredom that makes recovery so difficult, it’s the slow dawning pain that comes with sanity - the realization of illnesss, the humiliating scenes, the blown money and friendships and confidence. Depression seems almost inevitable. The pendulum swings back from transcendence in shards, a bloody, dangerous mess. Crazy high is better than crazy low. So we gamble, dump the pills, and stick it to the control freaks and doctors. They don’t understand, we say. They just don’t get it. They’ll never be artists.”

— David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“I know the empathy borne of despair; I know the fluidity of thought, the expansive, even beautiful, mind that hypomania brings, and I know this is quicksilver and precious and often it’s poison. There has always existed a sort of psychic butcher who works the scales of transcendence, who weighs out the bloody cost of true art.”

— David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“I mean, that’s at least in part why I ingested chemical waste - it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself. To present the CliffNotes of the emotional me, as opposed to the twelve-column read.

I used to refer to my drug use as putting the monster in the box. I wanted to be less, so I took more - simple as that. Anyway, I eventually decided that the reason Dr. Stone had told me I was hypomanic was that he wanted to put me on medication instead of actually treating me. So I did the only rational thing I could do in the face of such as insult - I stopped talking to Stone, flew back to New York, and married Paul Simon a week later.”

— Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

“Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”

— Vincent van Gogh

The symptoms that go along with bipolar disorder can make it a very difficult illness to cope with. Not only can it be challenging for individuals, but for their loved ones as well. If you feel as if you may be experiencing symptoms, know that you are not alone and that help is out there. If you’re looking for ways to find a psychologist in your local area, check out my blog post on How to Find the Right Psychologist For You.

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bipolar treatment and management in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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27 Inspirational Quotes That Will Give You Hope and Strength During Hard Times

There are joys in life but there are also sorrows. Sometimes these sorrows are of the every day kind — sad, but survivable. Other sorrows affect us so profoundly, so significantly and indelibly that we instinctively know life will never be the same. We wonder how we can make it through another day.

I have been through such times. I have also walked with children, adults, and families through such times. That is how I know that hope can be found in even the most difficult seasons of life. At the most painful moments in our lives, when everything is peeled away and stripped bare, when it seems that nothing is left, I know that there is hope.

Even the smallest amount can make the greatest difference. Hope and resilience are what help us set goals and affect change, to persevere in the face of life challenges and thrive.

So no matter what you’re going through, know that you are not alone. You’ll get through this.

Below are 27 hope quotes to give you strength and inspiration during hard times.

1. Out of difficulties grow miracles.

   — Jean de la Bruyère

2. There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.
   — Pearl S. Buck

3. You are full of unshaped dreams. You are laden with beginnings…There is hope in you…
   — Lola Ridge

4. Whether you’ve seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.

   — Martha Beck

5. We must accept infinite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. 
   — Martin Luther King, Jr.

6. I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. 
   — Anne Frank

7. A lesson for all of us is that for every loss, there is victory, for every sadness, there is joy, and when you think you've lost everything, there is hope.
   — Geraldine Solon

8. There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.
   — J.R.R. Tolkien

9. Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.
   — George Weinberg

10. We always kept in our hearts the most noble, beautiful feeling that sets human beings apart: Hope.
    — Manel Loureiro

11. Hope. It’s like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It’s a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it’s the only thing in the world keeping me afloat.
    — Tahereh Mafi

12. Everything that is done in this world is done by hope.
    — Martin Luther

13. If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

    — Martin Luther King Jr.

14. There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.
    — Dalai Lama XIV

15. The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
    — Barbara Kingsolver

16. To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.
    — Howard Zinn

17. We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreperably broken.”
    — John Green

18. We can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them.

    —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

19. To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

    —Arundhati Roy, The Cost of Living

20. Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature—the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.

    ― Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

21. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

    ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

22. “There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. 
    " Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope.” 
    ― Alexandre Dumas

23. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.
    ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

24. “It's going to be all right, sir," Harry said over and over again, more worried by Dumbledore's silence than he had been by his weakened voice. "We're nearly there ... I can Apparate us both back ... don't worry ..."
    "I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.” 
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

25. to love life, to love it even
    when you have no stomach for it
    and everything you've held dear
    crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
    your throat filled with the silt of it.
    When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
    thickening the air, heavy as water
    more fit for gills than lungs;
    when grief weights you like your own flesh
    only more of it, an obesity of grief,
    you think, How can a body withstand this?
    Then you hold life like a face
    between your palms, a plain face,
    no charming smile, no violet eyes,
    and you say, yes, I will take you
    I will love you, again. 
    ― Ellen Bass

26. A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.
    ― C. JoyBell C.

27. To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
    ― G.K. Chesterton

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depression, stress, and anxiety psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

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List of Emotions

Sometimes you might feel an emotion, but not have the words to explain or identify what it is that you are feeling.

If this is the case, know that it is natural. We all have different backgrounds and life experiences. For example, some of us may have grown up in a household where emotions weren’t discussed much, and it isn’t until we are adults faced with life itself when we realize and begin to work on this gap. Others of us may begin to struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety from a young age, requiring a greater understanding of coping skills and emotions than others your age.

The purpose of emotions

Emotions can be positive or negative and can occur at different levels of intensity and frequency. Emotions can serve different purposes, including providing information to us about certain situations, or communicating to others how we feel. Emotions can also serve to motivate us or to help us avoid dangerous situations or potential threats. What’s fascinating about emotions is that they involve a mind body connection, as what we experience is processed in our minds and felt in our bodies and physiological responses. In other words, emotion is multidimensional.

The trouble with emotions is that they are not always right and can sometimes be misleading. For example, some people may feel generalized anxiety and tension all day even in the absence of any threat. Others may be prone to feelings of depression and tend to interpret different situations with a negative thoughts, thus in turn creating greater feelings of depression.

Practicing emotion identification and regulation

Developing a greater awareness of your emotions can help you develop ways to cope with difficult emotions that arise, make healthy decisions, enhance relationships with others, and develop a proactive sense of mastery over your life. Identifying emotions and how you feel in a given situation is often the first critical step towards figuring out how best to manage them.

Below is a list of emotions to help you identify how you may be feeling

Abandoned

Abhor

Absorbed

Acceptance

Aching

Admiration

Adoration

Adrift

Affection

Afraid

Aggravated

Aggressive

Agitated

Agony

Alarmed

Alert

Alienated

Alive

Alone

Amazed

Ambitious

Ambivalent

Amused

Angry

Angst

Anguished

Animated

Animosity

Annoyed

Antagonistic

Anticipating

Antsy

Anxiety

Anxious

Apathetic

Apologetic

Appalled

Appreciative

Apprehensive

Ardent

Aroused

Ashamed

Astonished

Astounded

Attachment

Attraction

Aversion

Awe

Awful

Awkward

Baffled

Bashful

Befuddled

Bemused

Betrayed

Bewildered

Bitter

Blah

Blessed

Bliss

Blithe

Blue

Boastful

Bold

Bored

Bothered

Brave

Breathless

Brooding

Bubbly

Bugged

Calamitous

Calm

Camaraderie

Captivated

Carefree

Caring

Ccutious

Certain

Chagrin

Challenged

Cheerful

Choked

Clueless

Cocky

Cold

Collected

Comfortable

Commiseration

Committed

Compassionate

Complacent

Composed

Concern

Concerned

Confident

Conflicted

Confused

Consternation

Contemplative

Contempt

Content

Contentment

Contrite

Cordial

Courage

Courageous

Cowardly

Cozy

Crabby

Crafty

Cranky

Craving

Crazy

Crestfallen

Cross

Cruel

Crummy

Crushed

Curious

Cynical

Dark

Defeated

Dejected

Delighted

Delirious

Denial

Depressed

Derisive

Desire

Desolation

Despair

Despondent

Detached

Determined

Detestation

Devastated

Devotion

Disappointed

Disbelief

Discouraged

Disdain

Disgraced

Disgruntled

Disgust

Disgusted

Disheartened

Disillusioned

Disinterested

Disliked

Dismal

Dismay

Dismayed

Disoriented

Dispirited

Distaste

Distracted

Distress

Distressed

Distrusting

Disturbed

Doleful

Dopey

Doubtful

Down

Downcast

Drained

Dread

Dreadful

Dreading

Dreary

Dubious

Dumbfounded

Eager

Earnest

Ease

Ebullient

Ecstatic

Edgy

Elated

Embarassed

Embarrassed

Embarrassment

Emotional-Detest

Empathic

Emptiness

Empty

Enchanted

Enchantment

Energetic

Engrossed

Enigmatic

Enjoyment

Enlightened

Enlightenment

Enmity

Enraged

Entertainment

Enthralled

Enthusiasm

Enthusiastic

Envious

Envy

Euphoria

Euphoric

Exasperated

Excited

Excitement

Excluded

Exhausted

Exhilarated

Exhilaration

Expectant

Expectation

Exuberance

Exuberant

Fanatical

Fascinated

Fatigued

Fear

Fearful

Feisty

Felicitous

Fervor

Fight-Or-Flight

Flabbergasted

Floored

Fondness

Foolish

Foreboding

Fortunate

Frazzled

Free

Fretful

Frightened

Frisky

Frustrated

Fulfilled

Fulfillment

Furious

Gay

Genial

Giddy

Glad

Gleeful

Gloomy

Goofy

Grateful

Gratified

Greedy

Grief

Groggy

Grouchy

Grudging

Grumpy

Guarded

Guilt

Guilty

Gung-Ho

Gusto

Hankering

Happy

Harassed

Hate

Hateful

Hatred

Heartache

Heartbroken

Helpless

Hesitant

Hollow

Homesick

Hopeful

Hopeless

Horrified

Hostile

Hot

Humiliated

Humored

Hurt

Hyper

Hysterical

Impatient

Incensed

Indifferent

Indignant

Indignation

Infatuated

Infatuation

Inferior

Infuriated

Inner Peace

Innocent

Insecure

Inspired

Insulted

Intense

Interest

Interested

Intimacy

Intimidated

Intoxicated

Intrigued

Introspective

Invidious

Invigorated

Irascible

Irate

Ire

Irritability

Irritated

Isolated

Jaded

Jealous

Jealousy

Jittery

Jocular

Jocund

Jolly

Jovial

Joy

Joyful

Jubilant

Jumpy

Keen

Kind

Lazy

Lblissful

Left Out

Lethargic

Liberated

Liberation

Lighthearted

Liking

Listless

Lively

Loathsome

Lonely

Longing

Lost

Love

Loved

Lovesick

Loyal

Lucky

Lust

Mad

Mean

Meditative

Melancholic

Melancholy

Mellow

Mercy

Merry

Miffed

Mildness

Mirth

Mischievous

Miserable

Mollified

Moody

Morbid

Mortified

Motivated

Mournful

Mourning

Moved

Mystified

Nasty

Nauseous

Needed

Needy

Neglected

Nervous

Neutral

Nonplussed

Nostalgic

Numb

Obscene

Obsessed

Offended

Optimistic

Outrage

Outraged

Overwhelmed

Pacified

Pain

Panic

Panicked

Panicky

Paranoia

Paranoid

Passion

Pathetic

Peaceful

Peevish

Pensive

Perky

Perplexed

Perturbation

Perturbed

Pessimistic

Petrified

Petty

Petulant

Pity

Playful

Pleased

Pleasure

Positive

Possessive

Powerful

Powerless

Preoccupied

Pride

Protective

Proud

Provoked

Psyched

Pumped

Puzzled

Quiet

Quizzical

Rageful

Rapture

Rattled

Reassured

Receptive

Reflective

Regretful

Rejected

Relaxed

Relief

Relieved

Relish

Reluctance

Remorse

Repugnance

Resentful

Resentment

Resignation

Resolved

Responsible

Restless

Revolted

Revulsion

Rotten

Sad

Safe

Sanguine

Sassy

Satisfied

Scandalized

Scared

Scornful

Secure

Self-Conscious

Selfish

Sensitive

Sensual

Serendipitous

Serene

Settled

Sexy

Shaken

Shame

Shamed

Sheepish

Shock

Shocked

Shy

Sick

Silly

Sincere

Skeptical

Sluggish

Small

Smoldring

Smug

Snappy

Solemn

Solicitous

Somber

Sore

Sorrow

Sorry

Sour

Sparkly

Speechless

Spirited

Spiteful

Sprightly

Startled

Stirred

Stressed

Strong

Stung

Stunned

Stupefied

Submissive

Succor

Suffering

Suffocated

Sullen

Sunny

Superior

Sure

Surprised

Suspicious

Sweet

Sympathetic

Temperamental

Tender

Tense

Terrific

Terrified

Terror

Testy

Thankful

Thirst

Thoughtful

Threatened

Thrilled

Timid

Tired

Titillation

Tormented

Torn

Torture

Touched

Tranquil

Traumatized

Trembly

Trepidation

Triumphant

Troubled

Trust

Trusting

Uncertain

Uncomfortable

Uneasy

Unhappy

Upbeat

Upset

Uptight

Vehement

Vengeful

Vexed

Vicious

Vigilant

Vindicated

Vindictive

Warm

Wary

Weak

Weary

Weird

Welcome

Woe

Wonder

Wonderful

Worn-Out

Worried

Worry

Worthless

Wrathful

Wretched

Yearning

Zeal

Zest

Isn’t it incredible how many emotions there are? Moods are incredibly complex, as they can often involve many different emotions at once and in different shades and intensities. Emotions color our lives in beautiful ways, but at their worst and most intense can also be difficult to suffer through. If this is the case, try working with a therapist who can help support you toward feeling balanced again, able to take negative moods as they come and to celebrate positive moods for the joy they bring.

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DBT, mood management, depression treatment psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!