21 Mindfulness Quotes

Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment, non judgmentally, with awareness, on purpose. So often in our lives, we find ourselves thinking of the past, or racing ahead with thoughts of the future that we find ourselves missing out on the present moment — which really is all we have. How wonderful would it be to be fully present in the moment with a loved one? To fully connect to the joy of being alive?

It’s all possible through mindfulness.

so How do you practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness can be learned, practiced, and cultivated through various techniques. The beauty of mindfulness is that you can practice it anywhere!

I am someone who struggles with mindfulness. It doesn’t come naturally! But my daily practice of mindfulness has helped me immensely. Here are some useful methods to practice mindfulness:

mindful breathing

One method is by focusing on your in-breaths and out-breaths. When you breathe in, recognize it is your in breath. With you breathe out, recognize it is your outbreath. Focus your mind on your breath. Enjoy your breath, savor it. Don’t force it into anything other than what it is. I like to say, “breathing in, I know I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.” You can practice saying what helps you feel calm and connected to your breath.

Awareness of your body

Another way to practice mindfulness is to focus on your body on your in-breaths and out-breaths. As you breathe in, become aware of your body. Feel the peace and harmony throughout your mind and body.

mindfulness quotes

Below are some mindfulness quotes which capture some of its beauty and power in our lives. There is a wisdom that comes with mindfulness. Try it out and share any of your thoughts or what has helped for you in the comments below.

1. “Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.”
   – Thích Nhất Hạnh, author of The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

2. “Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life.”
   – Thích Nhất Hạnh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

3. “The things that matter most in our lives are not fantastic or grand. They are moments when we touch one another.”
   – Jack Kornfield, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are

4. “Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already.”
   – Pema Chödrön, How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind

5. “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” 
   ― Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation

6. “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” 
   ― Thich Nhat Hanh, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices

7. “Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance.” 
   ― Amit Ray, Mindfulness Living in the Moment - Living in the Breath

8. “Look at other people and ask yourself if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.”
   – Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

9. “The way to live in the present is to remember that ‘This too shall pass.’ When you experience joy, remembering that ‘This too shall pass’ helps you savor the here and now. When you experience pain and sorrow, remembering that ‘This too shall pass’ reminds you that grief, like joy, is only temporary.”
   – Joey Green

10. In today’s rush, we all think too much — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.”
    – Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

11. “I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. I wish the days to be as centuries, loaded, fragrant.”

    –Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Essential Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson

12. “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
    - Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

13. “As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise, you will miss most of your life.”
    – Buddha

14. “Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” 
    – Louis L’Amour

15. “All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.”
    – Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

16. “The habit of spending nearly every waking moment lost in thought leaves us at the mercy of whatever our thoughts happen to be. Meditation is a way of breaking this spell.”
    – Sam Harris, Waking Up

17. “There are two types of seeds in the mind: those that create anger, fear, frustration, jealousy, hatred and those that create love, compassion, equanimity and joy. Spirituality is germination and sprouting of the second group and transforming the first group.”
    – Amit Ray

18. “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”
    – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

19. “If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.“
    – Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages in Water

20. “Mindfulness is about love and loving life. When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that.”
    –Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living

21. “You have a treasure within you that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.”
    – Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

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stress management, anxiety treatment, and mindfulness-based therapist in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

26 Depression Resources for Kids, Teens, and Parents

It’s hard to know what to do when your child is feeling depressed — how to find out what’s going on, where to turn, who to go to for help. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, wanting to support them but not quite sure how.

Below are some resources that may be helpful to kids and teens experiencing depression and their parents.

Associations

Anxiety and Depression Association of America — Anxiety and Depression in Children

Depression and Bipolar Association of America

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry - Depression Resource Center

National Alliance on Mental Illness - Guide to What Families Need to Know About Adolescent Depression

Organizations

Many of these organizations are dedicated to the transforming the lives of children and teens living with depression, providing education, guides, and support.

Child Mind Institute — Depression: Helpful guides, Ask An Expert, and Stories of How Kids and Teens Coped with Depression

National Institute of Mental Health — Teen Depression

Balanced Mind Parent Network: Information for parents raising children with mood disorders to answers, support, and stability

HealthLink BC - Depression in Children and Teens

The Whole Child: Great guides which are developmentally categorized by age group

Teen Mental Health.org - Depression

The Jed Foundation: accessible resources to support mental health and reduce stigma in teens and young adults. started by parents who lost their youngest son Jed to suicide.

Families for Depression Awareness

Research Studies and Clinical Trials

NIMH Research Studies (Enrolling Nationally): Studies to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illness

Hotlines and Crisis Resources

If you are experiencing a life threatening emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255: Provides 24/7 free and confidential support

National Safe Place: Provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for young people in crisis through a network of qualified agencies, trained volunteers and businesses

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386: Crisis Intervention and suicide prevention for LGBT youth

PRS CrisisLink Hotline and Textline : 703-527-4077 or Text "CONNECT" to 855-11: Free confidential line open 24/7 serving Northern Virginia and Washington DC, staffed with crisis line workers who care and can connect you to referrals

Books

• Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens: A Workbook to Break the Nine Thought Habits That Are Holding You Back by Mary Alvord and Anne McGrath

• Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Helping You Manage Mood Swings, Control Angry Outbursts, and ... with Others (Instant Help Book for Teens) by Sheri van Dijk

• How To Get Unstuck From The Negative Muck: A Kid's Guide To Getting Rid Of Negative Thinking by Lake Sullivan PhD

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, Joan Declaire

• How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

• How to Talk so Teens Will Listen and Listen so Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

• The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Themby Elaine Aron

Helpful Articles

Can Preschoolers Be Depressed? (NY Times)

A Teenager’s Guide to Depression by HelpGuide.org

What resources have you found helpful for your child or teen? If you have any other resources that might be helpful for others, let us know in the comments below!

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child and teen depression treatment in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

28 Anxiety Resources for Adults

We all experience anxiety, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and begin to interfere with your daily functioning and quality of life. It can be difficult to find resources to help. Here, we list websites, books, organizations, apps, and videos for valuable information and support.

Organizations

These organizations provide invaluable information on anxiety and how to cope with them. They also provide listings of resources you may find helpful.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America

https://adaa.org/

American Psychological Association

http://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety/index.aspx

National Institute of Mental Health

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

National Alliance on Mental Illness

https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders

Websites

These websites provide helpful information, handouts, and resources on anxiety and learning to cope with it.

Anxiety BC

https://www.anxietybc.com/

Anxiety.org

https://www.anxiety.org/

Anxiety Boss

https://anxietyboss.com/

PsychCentral

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/anxiety/

Blogs and Community

Websites and forums featuring individuals writing about their journeys toward overcoming anxiety.

The Mighty - Anxiety

https://themighty.com/topic/anxiety/

Thought Catalog - Anxiety

https://thoughtcatalog.com/tag/anxiety/

Healthy Place: Anxiety Schmanxiety

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Director’s Messages.

Offers the latest news on mental health research and a nice overview

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/about/director/messages/index.shtml

Psych Central: Fearless: Breaking Anxiety Down

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/fearless/

Reddit/Anxiety

https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/

Mindfulness Exercises for Anxiety (Online)

Mindfulness Exercises

https://mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com/exercises/

22 Mindfulness Exercises for Adults

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-exercises-techniques-activities/

Anxiety Apps

Headspace

https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works

Breathe2Relax

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/breathe2relax/id425720246?mt=8

Calm

https://www.calm.com/

Books for Anxiety

These books are often recommended to patients by psychologists who treat anxiety, and are written by clinical experts in the field.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes and Spencer Smith

ACT Made Simple: An Easy to Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Russ Harris and Steven Hayes

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety by John Forsyth and Georg Eifert

Mastery of Your Anxiety by Michelle Craske and David Barlow

Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic by David Barlow

Videos

15 Best TED Talks for Anxiety, Stress, and Fear

Clinical Trials

Opportunities to participate in clinical trials and NIH funded studies to better understand anxiety and develop effective treatments.

National Institute of Mental Health - Clinical Trials

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/trials/anxiety-disorders.shtml

What resources have you found helpful in managing your anxiety? If you have any other resources that might be helpful for others, let us know in the comments below!

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Anxiety treatment in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

15 Quotes That Describe What Depression Feels Like

People who are depressed often feel sad, experience changes in appetite and sleeping, and as if they are dragging themselves through a heavy quicksand. Things which used to hold enjoyment are no longer pleasurable, and life becomes empty and devoid of meaning. One of the most difficult symptoms of depression is also the loneliness that one experiences. When feeling depressed, it can often feel as if no one in the world can possibly understand what you are going through, as if there is no way out.

But the truth is that there are people out there who do understand, who have experienced depression, who have made it through the darkness, and survived. Below are 15 quotes describing what depression feels like.

1. “I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?”

   ― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

2. “I don't want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead.” 

   ― Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye

3. “Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That's above and beyond everything else, and it's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.”

   ― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

4. “because wherever I sat—on the deck of a ship or at a street café in Paris or Bangkok—I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air.”

   ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

5. “I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.”

   ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

6. “When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.”

   ― Elizabeth Gilbert

7. “Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.”

   ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

8. “The sun stopped shining for me is all. The whole story is: I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can't get away from it. Not ever.”

   ― Nina LaCour, Hold Still

9. “And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.”

   ― Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year

10. “Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it's a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”

    ― J.K. Rowling

11. “It seemed silly to wash one day when I would only have to wash again the next.

    It made me tired just to think of it.”

    ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

12. “I saw the world in black and white instead of the vibrant colours and shades I knew existed.”

    ― Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits

13. “Depression presents itself as a realism regarding the rottenness of the world in general and the rottenness of your life in particular. But the realism is merely a mask for depression's actual essence, which is an overwhelming estrangement from humanity. The more persuaded you are of your unique access to the rottenness, the more afraid you become of engaging with the world; and the less you engage with the world, the more perfidiously happy-faced the rest of humanity seems for continuing to engage with it.”

    ― Jonathan Franzen, How to Be Alone

14. “If you are chronically down, it is a lifelong fight to keep from sinking ”

    ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

15. "Sleep just isn't sleep anymore, it's an escape."

    — Unknown

Depression Treatment and management

If you are feeling this way, it’s time to get help. Either medication or psychotherapy alone can bring relief from depression symptoms. However, the combination of both medication and psychotherapy has been found to be particularly effective, with significant rates of improvement.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based treatment that has been found to be effective for depression as well as to prevent its future relapse. Research supports it use with individuals of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. CBT focuses on targeting unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, to promote positive behaviors and emotions. It is a problem focused, and goal oriented form of therapy, in which you are supported in developing effective strategies to decrease symptoms and to address identified goals.

CBT in McLean, Falls Church, Arlington and Vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

How to Find the Right Psychologist for You

How does one find a psychologist? Not only an effective one, but one who truly cares and connects with you?

I recently wrestled with this question as I helped a family member find a psychologist for their care. Although I myself am a clinical psychologist, the experience on this other end of things was rather eye opening. I was surprised to learn that many psychologists in private practice can and do accept insurance and that they were sometimes of a similar quality of the ones who charged more. In other words, price charged did not necessarily predict quality, and the effectiveness of the practicing psychologist seemed to be based on the particular individual.

I was also surprised to discover how difficult to find a provider who cared — and how much it meant to finally find one who truly did and what a difference it made in our lives.

With that, I’ve decided to write a guide based on my professional and personal experiences as a clinical psychologist as to how to find the right psychologist for you.

1. Develop an Understanding of What You are Looking For

At the start of your search, it can help to reflect on the particular issues you are currently struggling with. This can inform the type of psychologist you are looking for, including what treatments they may specialize in.

For example, if you are struggling with feelings of sadness or hopelessness, try looking for a psychologist with clinical interest or specialization in working with patients struggling with similar symptoms, such as depression.

Once you understand what your needs are, it can help to develop an understanding of psychological treatment options and the current evidence-base underlying them. It can be tough to understand what’s out there, but fortunately, there are websites that psychologists committed to high quality treatments have developed, to help consumers understand their options.

For example, the Society of Clinical Psychology, has developed this helpful resource on Effective Treatments for Psychological Conditions describing research evidence for psychological treatments. If you click on ‘Browse Diagnoses’, and then ‘Depression’, you’ll see that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the leading treatments for depression.

If you are looking for a psychologist for your child, find a psychologist with focused training and expertise in working with children. Clinical Child Psychologists often have years of specialized experience in working with children, parents, and the family system.

This information on treatment approaches can help inform your search for a therapist, as you would now understand that you are looking for a clinician who specializes in CBT for Depression, or a child psychologist who specializes in these domains.

Here, it’s important to note that this information isn’t the only factor involved in finding a clinician — instead, it’s just one initial piece of the puzzle.

2. Consider What Your Preferences Are

Would you prefer working with a male or female psychologist?

Are you open to cash only practices or do you prefer to go to providers who accept your insurance?

How far are you willing to drive to see your therapist?

What setting do you prefer? A community clinic, hospital, or independent practice?

These factors all inform your search and will help you identify potential clinicians to work with.

If cost is an issue, are you willing to seek care from predoctoral clinicians currently in training? These predoctoral clinicians are often supervised by the clinicians with years of experience, a passion for mental health care, and a commitment to their work and training the next generation of psychologists. In addition, it is also a source of highly affordable psychological testing and evaluation services.

Some local training clinics in the Washington DC metropolitan area include:

• The University of Maryland Psychology Clinic in College Park, MD

• The University of Maryland, Baltimore County Psychology Training Clinic in Baltimore, MD

• George Mason University Center for Psychological Services in Fairfax, VA

• American University Psychotherapy Training Clinic in Washington, DC

3. Begin Developing a List of Potential Licensed Clinicians. Ask around.

Do you have any health care providers that you currently respect and enjoy seeing, whose care seems comprehensive and genuine? If so, ask them if there are any psychologists they would recommend. Often times, providers in the same community know of other providers who are well known for their clinical skill and effectiveness.

You can also ask family members and friends for any potential referrals. This is a great method as you can get their firsthand experience and perspective, which can be invaluable in your search.

4. Search Online for Clinicians in Your Community

There are a number of websites online where you can search through listings of psychologists in your area and region. Using your understanding of your goals for therapy (e.g., current symptoms, available evidence-based treatments), and preferences (e.g., payment, child vs adult specialization, distance from your home), you can search through the following websites.

There are so many therapists that it can be overwhelming to look through directories. But as you look through, try looking at their personal statements to see if you connect with it, or to look at their education, training, and work experiences, as these would deeply inform their therapeutic approach and style.

Below, I have listed national websites of providers, as well as ones specific to the Northern Virginia region.

• Psychology Today’s Find a Therapist

• Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies: Find a CBT Therapist Directory

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Find a Therapist

• American Psychological Association Psychologist Locator

• National Register’s Find a Psychologist

• GoodTherapy.org Find a Therapist

It’s important to note that these directories often do not lists psychologists who work in hospitals and who see patients on an outpatient psychology basis. The care at these centers is often covered by insurance, and can be highly evidence-based and state-of-the-art, with specialty clinics. Many of these clinicians are highly dedicated to their work and to their patients, training top psychologists around the country. Check out the below links if you are interested in pursuing care through this route.

• Children’s National Health System Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences

• Kennedy Krieger Institute Behavioral Psychology Outpatient Programs

• Johns Hopkins Psychiatry Outpatient Clinics

• Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Clinic

• Georgetown University Hospital Women’s Mental Health Clinic

If you are interested in using your insurance to pay for therapy, you can search through insurance databases and cross reference with information from the directories listed above.

5. Contact Potential Therapists

Finding a psychologist to work with takes time. Compatibility is important and provides the foundation for therapy, so it is natural to spend time speaking and meeting with different therapists.

Sometimes you can call a therapist and get a sense of how you might like working with them on the phone. During this time, you can ask them if they use evidence-based therapies, and what their policies for fees and scheduling are, and if they are accepting new patients.

6. Meet Your Therapist

If you enjoyed speaking with a psychologist over the phone, schedule a time to meet with them. Often the first session is a time when you both are getting to know each other. The psychologist will likely ask you questions to get a better understanding of what brings you to therapy. Based on their assessment, they will be able to determine whether they can help you or not, and help you develop goals for therapy together.

Above all, finding a therapist is a highly personal process. Finding a match is dependent on so many factors, including style, personality, values, preferences. This is also where the magic and art of therapy come in. Because at the end of the day, therapy is so much more than a manual, a given approach, or educational background. It’s a relationship. It’s an alliance. It’s a partnership. One that can make all the difference in helping to support you or your child through challenges and difficult times to hope again.

So good luck on your search! If you have any additional thoughts or ideas on helpful ways to find the right psychologist, please comment below. I’d love to hear from you!

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cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) in mclean, falls church, arlington, and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

3 Ways to Grow from Pain

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

— Rumi

Life is beautiful but it is also hard — painfully so. We lose our loved ones. We try and we fail. We struggle. We experience disappointment. We lose hope. 

Suffering is an inevitable part of life, touching each of us in different ways. Some of us may be new to it, struggling to know what to do with the pain in what had otherwise been a quiet, peaceful existence. Others may find themselves more embittered and hardened. When working through darkness, it can be difficult to see how we will ever survive it.

But hope and life again are possible. I know this from my life as a clinical psychologist working with survivors of car accidents, cancer, health crises, and depression. But I also know it from personal experience. The pain is real, but it doesn't have to defeat you. It's not easy, and it may be one of the most challenging seasons of your life to work through, but when you get through it—and you will—it can make you even more strong and beautiful. 

The question is, how? How is it that some people experience heartbreak and tragedy and make it out stronger and wiser? How do you transcend the pain and turn it into something good, something whole, something beautiful?

In other words, how do you turn garbage into flowers?

“You are the gardener, and you have in your hands the power to transform garbage into flowers, into fruit, into vegetables... The same thing is true of your happiness and your sorrow. Sorrow, fear, and depression are all a kind of garbage.  These bits of garbage are part of real life, and we must look deeply into their nature.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

As Thich Nhat Hanh indicates in the quote above, you have the ability to choose what to do with the pain. Although the pain serves as a catalyst for growth, it itself does not lead to growth.  Instead, how we respond to pain an suffering can make all the difference. We must garden and transform it.

1. Embrace it

It's natural to run from the pain and avoid it. But sometimes avoiding and resisting emotions can make them worse. Like a Chinese finger trap, we can get caught in them, and they can intensify.

It can help to spend time reflecting on your emotions and processing the event. What if you turned toward your pain and examined it with compassion and curiosity? What if life can be worth living even with suffering in it? What if multiple things could be true at once—that darkness and light can coexist in life?

2. Find meaning

When we experience difficult times, our fundamental sense of meaning is shattered. Everything we thought we knew has shifted. We may feel as if life is meaningless.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

— Viktor E. Frankl

A fundamental aspect of experiencing a difficult, traumatic event then, is making sense of the loss, and working to find meaning and purpose from your pain and suffering. Oftentimes, this search to make sense of the suffering, can lead to significant spiritual growth and strengthened faith. Finding meaning and purpose and reflecting on lessons learned through pain can provide comfort, lead to a greater sense of control, and renewed hope. Participate in activities that bring you joy and solace. Volunteer to help others who may be going through similar journeys.

3. Get support

When going through a difficult time, some of us may want to spend time alone from others. But the opposite — spending time with others who can support you — is important. It's okay to be vulnerable and need others. Let others know how they can help support you. Accept their flowers and meals. Find someone to walk beside you.

 It will take time and effort, but over time this storm in your life will pass. There is hope through embracing pain, finding meaning from it, and getting support. 

What type of suffering and pain have you been experiencing? What has helped you cope with it? I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your comments here.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in McLean, Falls Church, arlington, and Vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!