Making Friends as an Adult: A Guide for 2025

Are you looking to make new friends in 2025? 

Friendships are one of the most enriching parts of life. They offer us joy, refuge, care, support, connection, and understanding. Life truly would not be the same without friendships. The tricky part is making friends. 

For many women, making friends as an adult feels overwhelming, or maybe even impossible. We’re all dealing with demanding jobs, caregiving responsibilities, and navigating a world that often feels chaotic, so finding the time and energy for developing new friendships or maintaining old ones can feel like another item on an already overflowing to-do list. Important relationships, like friendship, take work, and meaningful relationships are worth the effort. 

If you’re longing for closer friendships or struggling with making friends, you’re not alone. It’s often a vulnerable process, but it is possible to develop connections that feel fulfilling and joyful.

Why we need friendships

As humans, we’re designed to be social and build connections with others. It’s an essential part of our makeup - we require relationships with others for our mental health and well-being. Studies consistently show that having close friends can reduce stress, improve mood, and even contribute to better physical health. 

For women, in particular, friendships often provide a unique form of emotional intimacy and support that may not be found elsewhere. There’s nothing like spending time with someone who just gets it, and where you can simply be yourself. A close friend can be someone to lean on in tough times, celebrate with during successes, or simply share laughter and companionship when the world feels out of control. Our friends often become our chosen families, and our support networks would not be the same without them. 

Despite the importance of friendships, women are often put in positions that make it hard to prioritize them. Emotional labor—the invisible work of managing feelings, mediating conflicts, and tending to others—is frequently expected of women both at work and at home. This can leave little bandwidth for nurturing their own needs, including friendships. Many women also experience guilt for prioritizing their personal lives over professional or family obligations, making the pursuit of new friendships feel like a luxury rather than the necessity that it is. 

Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?

Making friends as an adult isn’t always easy, the way it was when you were a kid. When you were younger, you likely had built-in opportunities to form connections through school, extracurriculars, or community activities. As an adult, those automatic social structures often disappear. If you want to find people, you have to find ways to seek them out, which can be overwhelming. It’s scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable enough to make a new friendship, even when it’s something you want to do. 

You may feel awkward initiating conversations or fear rejection, especially if you’ve experienced hurt or betrayal in past friendships. Making friends isn’t the whole story, either - once you have friendships, you have to maintain them, and maintaining relationships takes effort. Maintaining friendships as an adult is harder than ever due to busy schedules with work and family, particularly for long distance friendships. 

All of these factors can create a sense of isolation that’s hard to break out of—but it’s not insurmountable. Be kind to yourself and validate that this process feels weird and emotionally activating. Pat yourself on the back for stepping outside of your comfort zone and going after what you want. 

Making friends as an adult may require some creativity, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Here are some ways to approach it with ease and fun:

Explore shared interests

One of the simplest ways to connect with new people is through shared activities or interests. Look for local classes, workshops, or meetups that align with your hobbies or interests. Whether it’s a book club, yoga class, gardening group, or volunteer opportunity, engaging in activities you already enjoy can help you meet like-minded people who already care about the things you care about. Having something in common gives you a great jumping off point to get to know folks better. 

Make technology work for you

Technology is a powerful tool for building connections, and we have options at the push of a button. Apps like Bumble BFF, Meetup, and local community platforms can help you find people with similar interests or in similar life stages. Social media groups, like those on Facebook or Reddit, can also be great places to connect with others who share your passions or live in your area. Online meetups are also a great way to be accessible to folks who can’t make it to in person activities!

Reconnect with old friends

Sometimes the best way to build new connections is to rekindle old ones. Do you have any old friends who you’d like to rebuild your connection with? Sometimes friends drift apart just by nature of growing up and moving down different paths, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t ever be close again. Try reaching out to former friends or acquaintances with whom you’ve lost touch to see where they stand. A simple message or invitation for coffee can reignite a meaningful connection.

Be honest about your goals

If you’re looking for new friends, tell people that! Being honest and authentic will be relatable to people - after all, you’re not the only person looking to make friends as an adult! Talking about what you want isn’t shameful.  Be honest about the kind of connection you’re looking for and open about your interests and values. This vulnerability can help create deeper, more genuine relationships that have a solid foundation of trust. 

Don’t be mean to yourself

If making friends as an adult feels hard, remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth or likability. It’s simply a challenging aspect of modern life that many of us struggle with. Be gentle and kind with yourself and recognize that building meaningful relationships takes time and effort. Even small steps, like joining a group or sending a friendly message, can lead to rewarding connections little by little. 

Work with a mental health professional

If you’re finding it difficult to build or maintain friendships, therapy can be a valuable resource. A therapist can help you identify patterns in your relationships, explore barriers to connection, and develop skills to improve your social interactions so you can build the relationships you deserve. Therapy can also provide a safe space to process feelings of loneliness or rejection and build confidence in forming new relationships.

Once you’ve started to form connections, the next step is nurturing those relationships. Here are some tips for deepening new friendships:

Check in regularly: Set aside time to connect with your friends, whether through a weekly phone call, monthly coffee date, or a shared activity. If you have a hard time remembering things like checking in with friends, add a reminder in your phone or on your to-do list, so you have a prompt every day to reach out to someone. 

Show them you care by listening: Show genuine interest in your new friends’ lives by asking questions and being present during conversations. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, slow down and listen to what they’re saying to understand it. Everyone likes to be listened to, and it can help grow a sense of connection between you. 

Be consistent: Friendships thrive on reliability and trust. Following through on plans and showing up for your friends builds a strong foundation.

Have fun together: Don’t forget that friendships are supposed to be a source of fun! Make an effort to celebrate your friends’ milestones and achievements, no matter how small. These moments of joy can strengthen your bond.

Making friends as an adult is hard, but it can make a real difference in your overall well-being. If you’re looking for more support as you navigate new relationships, working with one of our therapists can help. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians. 

10 Blogs to Read for More Intimate Friendships

Friendships are some of the most important relationships we have in life. 

Some we’ve known since childhood, and they’ve been with us through family stress, romantic ups and downs, personal identity struggles, career changes, and more. 

Some friendships we find in adulthood, once we’ve learned more about ourselves and we’re able to show up more authentically. Even if these friends haven’t been around as long, they can be just as special and significant as childhood friends. 

No matter how we came to find these relationships, they occupy a special spot in our lives. 

When things go wrong in life, we call our friends to commiserate. When good things happen, we want to celebrate with them! Often our relationships with friends are some of the strongest, most authentic relationships we have because they are based simply on enjoying time spent together. There is no sense of obligation as there can be with family, or pressure to please like we can often feel with romantic partners. These relationships become a space in which we can be fully ourselves and find support we can’t get in other places. 

Because of this, friendships can feel like an easy, magical piece of our lives. But like any other relationship, in order to have true intimacy, the relationship will sometimes require hard (or uncomfortable) work! We live in a culture that values romantic relationships as the most significant relationships in a person’s life, so there are a lot of spaces and resources to find support for difficult times in your romantic relationship. But there aren’t as many for platonic relationships–even though they too can be some of the longest lasting and most significant relationships in our lives. 

We believe that all relationships are important–you need a garden of support in your life, and many different relationships to fulfill the many different parts of you. 

But supportive friendships take work. Like when you have to:

Let your friends know when they’ve hurt your feelings:

“Telling someone you’re upset by something they’ve done takes a lot of courage, so be proud of yourself for it. It can feel like a risk–like they could be mad or upset or maybe even react unpredictably. It’s important to remember that while their feelings matter, you can’t control them and it’s not your job to prevent them from experiencing unpleasant emotions. It’s only your job to be honest about how you’re feeling and stick around to work through it if that brings up unpleasant emotions.”

Read the full blog here.

Stop yourself from comparing yourself to your friends:

“Too much comparison can also be damaging to your relationships. When you’re constantly putting yourself up against someone else–out of either admiration or jealousy–you’re not seeing the other person as a full person. You’re only seeing the one thing that is provoking an emotional reaction out of you (a picture of their vacation, a post about their promotion, etc.) It can lead to jealousy, even resentment in your relationship.”

Read the full blog here.

Set a difficult boundary: 

“Because discussing boundaries can make us feel so vulnerable, some of us have a tendency to react drastically when they are violated. There can be an urge to cut people off automatically–an attitude of “if they can’t respect my boundary they can’t be in my life.” Which is appropriate when a boundary has been repeatedly ignored or violated! However, if it’s the first time it’s happening, it likely was not done out of malice. Address the issue directly, and move on if there is no improvement.”

Read the full blog here. 

Make space for an experience you can’t relate to:

“Do you have a loved one who deals with chronic pain? If you don’t experience chronic pain, it can be hard to understand just how much it can impact someone’s life. While for most people, pain is unusual, a sign that something needs to be tended to immediately, for folks who manage chronic pain, it is a constant state.” 

Read the full blog here. 

“We’ve talked about this before, and went over four helpful ways to support someone struggling with infertility, but what about things that aren’t helpful? Learning what questions or topics to avoid to be respectful of the pain your loved one is experiencing is just as important as learning methods of support.”

Read the full blog here. 

Practice accountability: 

“When you’re close with someone, there’s a level of vulnerability. The people we are close to have the power to bring a lot of love and positivity into our lives, but they also have the power to hurt us more deeply than acquaintances or strangers. If you’re not sure you can trust the other person to be honest with you, admit when they’re wrong, and take steps to repair the relationship when necessary, it’s harder to feel close to them.”

Read the full blog here.

Make some hard decisions when a friendship has run its course: 

“Ending a relationship of any kind is never easy. As humans, we are wired for connection, so it can be confusing and painful to end a connection that was special to you. Sometimes, ending a friendship will come after having conversations with each other about boundaries or expectations. You might feel better if you approach them with a conversation first instead of just ending things right there. There might also be situations where you feel better ending the friendship without talking about it first. Whatever way works for you and your situation, know that it is okay to feel a bunch of conflicting feelings about ending a friendship. You might feel relieved to not have to deal with them anymore. You might feel sad remembering the good times you had together. You might be angry at the way they treated you. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay.”

Read the full blog here. 

“Platonic relationships aren’t given much significance in our culture (part of the American individualistic culture that prioritizes upward mobility and building your own life) which is why we don’t talk about platonic breakups, not because they don’t happen–or because they don’t need to happen. And with how common ghosting is within romantic relationships, it’s no wonder that silently exiting friendships seems to be the only way we know how to end all sorts of other relationships, friendships included.”

Read the full blog here.

“Adjusting to the fact that you can’t rely on that person the way you once did takes work and time. It might be hard to open yourself up to a close friend for a while, and that’s okay. It’s a big adjustment, and it’s okay to follow whatever timeline you need. If you’re struggling with a friendship breakup, know that you’re not alone. So many people have been through this kind of pain, and whatever reaction you’re having is valid.”

Read the full blog here. 

Remember, while important conversations and learning to sit with discomfort is crucial for all intimate relationships, we should also make space for joy and celebration of those relationships too! Or else, what is all of that work for?

Adult relationships can get messy sometimes, and it can be a relief knowing that you’ll be able to talk it all through with someone who gets it. Get in touch with us today to get started!

3 Ways to Celebrate Platonic Relationships This February

3 Ways to Celebrate Platonic Relationships This February

Romantic relationships get a lot of attention this time of year, because Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. When we think of demonstrating our love for others, we usually think of romantic relationships first. There are lots of cultural scripts that encourage us to prioritize romantic relationships above platonic ones. It’s becoming more and more common for folks to celebrate friendships, but it can also be hard to find the time or the energy, especially in the middle of winter. 

There’s only so much energy to go around right now. We’re coming up on our third spring in this pandemic, and burnout is everywhere. When you’re burned out, the idea of doing anything, let alone the emotional labor required to maintain relationships, can be too much. If you’re feeling that way right now, you’re not alone. It’s okay to reassess what you’re able to handle relationship wise right now, and set new boundaries if necessary. 

It’s also important to note that some people simply aren’t interested in romance for whatever reason. Some folks like their independence as a single person, others might be aromantic or somewhere else on the ace spectrum. It can be jarring sometimes to see someone not following certain cultural expectations, like getting married and having 2.5 kids, but it’s also helpful for everyone to see that there’s not just one way to live your life. It’s possible to deviate from the script, and seeing someone do that can be eye opening and even give you permission to do that yourself. 

Another cultural expectation is that friendship goes on the back burner once you reach adulthood and start forming a life of your own. Some folks certainly prefer to search for a romantic partner and prioritize that relationship above the other ones in their lives, especially if they have a family together. That’s not the only way to manage relationships in adulthood, though. Some people prefer to focus on non-romantic relationships, and that’s a fine choice too. But because it’s kind of expected for folks to overlook friendships, it can be hard to find resources for how to nurture those relationships. 

Investing in our platonic relationships can help us feel more confident and secure in romantic relationships. As you nurture the relationships and connections you have outside of your romantic life, it will feel less scary being abandoned by a romantic partner. It’s often frightening to imagine what you’ll do without your partner or without a future partner, but romance isn’t the only way to make connections that can support you during hard times. Family, friends, and even coworkers can help you see that there are lots of people out there who care about you and who you can lean on, even if your romantic relationship ends. 

However you choose to structure and prioritize your relationships, it can be fun to celebrate them every once in a while. It’s pretty easy to find lists or ideas for how to celebrate romantic love, but it’s tougher to find ideas for non-romantic relationships.

If you’re looking for ways to celebrate the platonic loves in your life, here are 3 ideas to consider:

Along with Valentine’s Day, celebrate Palentine’s Day

There’s no rule saying you can’t celebrate all kinds of love this February! Enjoy Valentine’s Day, but consider celebrating your buddies too. Palentine's Day is a made up holiday focused on celebrating friendship, inspired by Galentine’s Day, a fictional holiday from the TV show Parks & Rec, that is focused on “ladies celebrating ladies.” Palentine's Day is a gender neutral way to celebrate the pals in your life (after all, not everyone’s pals are ladies!). You don’t have to throw a party or make everything perfect, but setting aside a specific time to celebrate friendships can really lift the spirits. Even if you can’t meet in person, you can send love notes to your pals telling them what you love about them. 

Make a scrapbook or online photo album with some of your cherished memories

Most of us have thousands of pictures on our phones, but how often do we go back and remember what we were taking photos of? If it’s been a while since you’ve held physical photos, getting some favorites printed can be a sweet way to remind yourself of the people you love. Deciding what photos to print can also be a nice excuse to go scrolling through your pics and reminisce about your memories. If you’re not into printing physical copies or if that’s not accessible for you, try creating an online scrapbook or photo album every once in a while to give you a reason to revisit your memories, especially with the people you love. Sharing photos, whether physical or digital, is another nice way to show people you’re thinking of them. 

Send your friends a love note

At this point, we’re all pretty tired of meeting up with our people virtually or over the phone. We’ve been semi-isolated for a few years now, and all our usual methods of communication are kind of getting old. To spice things up, send your loved ones some snail mail! It’s always fun to get an unexpected surprise in the mail, and getting a little love note from someone you care about can make someone’s whole week! Sending snail mail also lets you be a little more creative than an email, text, or video call. You can include more than just a note, you can decorate the envelope, write on fancy paper, even seal it with wax! Have fun with it and your loved ones will have fun receiving it. 

If you’re looking for more ways to nurture your relationships, whether romantic or platonic, talking with a therapist can help you discover what your needs are and how to ask for them, as well as give you a safe space to process any issues that come up in your relationships.

Adult relationships can get messy sometimes, and it can be a relief knowing that you’ll be able to talk it all through with someone who gets it. Get in touch with us today to get started!