How Mindful Communication Can Improve Your Relationships

How often do you feel like you’re fully aware of the present moment?

It’s hard to stay in the present moment these days. There are always a million and one things pulling our attention away from the here and now. This is especially true when we’re communicating with other people. It’s easy to get caught up in emotions, or to think about what you’re going to say next, or get distracted by something on your mental to-do list. Practicing mindful communication can be a helpful way to improve your relationships. 

What is mindful communication?

Mindful communication occurs when you make a conscious effort to remain grounded in the present moment while you communicate with others. Staying completely in the present moment without getting distracted by something - a text, a random thought, a response to what the other person is saying, anxiety - isn’t easy. It takes practice and self compassion. 

It’s hard to give 100 percent of our attention to something because there are so many things to do, and it seems like there’s not enough time to get everything done. We often feel like multitasking is our only choice, to do everything we need and want to do. Think about how many times you’ve done multiple things at once - having a conversation while driving, cooking dinner and talking - it happens all the time. 

Mindfulness is a practice that’s focused on training yourself to spend more time in the present moment. It’s not about making every moment of your life mindful, because that’s not entirely realistic. There are going to be times where you’re not fully focused on what’s going on. That’s okay! You don’t need to choose between being 100 percent mindful or 0 percent. You can find a balance that works for you.

There are many benefits to mindfulness, including the ways that mindful communication can enhance relationships. Here are 4 ways that mindful communication can help you improve the relationships that matter to you:

Enhanced listening skills

It’s hard to listen well when you’re distracted and not fully grounded in the present moment. When you’re distracted, you’ll miss out on some of what’s being said, especially the non-verbal aspects of communication like body language. Giving the other person your undivided attention can help you understand what they’re saying more effectively, and help them to feel heard and validated.

Increased empathy

Maintaining your sense of empathy when talking to people you care about can make difficult conversations go a lot smoother. A big piece of mindfulness is being compassionate with yourself when you slip up. Learning how to be kind to yourself can help you extend that kindness to others. 

Remembering that the person you’re talking to has their own side and their own stuff going on can make it easier to see where they’re coming from. People also tend to want to open up when they’re being treated with kindness and empathy. Staying mindful when you communicate can help you notice when you’re getting frustrated or dysregulated instead of reacting first. 

Reduced reactivity

Mindfully communicating with others can help to lessen moments of reactivity. Instead of saying something you’ll regret later, you can recognize when you’re getting carried away by emotions and gently remind yourself to return to the present. You can notice when you’re feeling closed off or reactive, so you can choose to react differently. This can also be helpful with lowering defensiveness and other unhelpful patterns of conflict in relationships. 

Improved trust

Trust is hugely important in relationships, and mindful communication can help you build trust. Knowing someone will give you their full attention when you talk makes it easier to open up. It’s helpful to relationships to be open and honest, because that shows the other person that they can be open and honest as well. 

Are you wondering where to start? Try these strategies for mindful communication:

• Manage distractions - Put your phone away, turn away from the computer, lower the volume on anything playing, make sure you won’t be bothered

• Listen to understand, not to respond - focus on what they’re saying, not what you’ll say back

• Take turns talking - when you know your turn to speak will come, it’s less tempting to interrupt to try to get your point across.

• Be thoughtful about what you say - think about what you want to say before you say it so that your meaning doesn’t get distorted. Consider your tone and your language.

• Think about your goal for the conversation - what are you hoping to get out of communicating?

Making time for mindfulness can make a big difference in how you feel and in how you relate to others. Working with a therapist can help you practice mindfulness skills and find more ways to improve the relationships you care about. If you’re interested in working with one of our Maryland, Virginia, or Washington DC therapists, get in touch with our office today! 

Tending to Plants for Better Mental Health

Have you ever considered the benefit of taking care of something else as part of your own self care process? 

It may sound counterintuitive, but it’s true: creating routines where you tend to something else (a pet, a garden, a community project) benefits not just what you’re tending to, but your own mental wellness. Today we’re going to look at tending to plants specifically, but many of the benefits can come from making space to tend to other things (pets, community spaces, etc.) as well. 

So, how do indoor plants help our mental health? Here are 4 ways that caring for houseplants can help you care for your mental health: 

It helps promote mindfulness:

When you’re taking care of your plants, you have a chance to focus your attention on the nurturing that is taking place. Instead of your mind wandering around in a thousand different directions, you’re focused on the task at hand: which plants need care today? What do they need? Sunlight? Water? Do any need to be repotted or trimmed back? When you let your mind stay in the present moment, you reduce the opportunity for negative thoughts to land and stick in your mind. Taking care of your houseplants gets you into a regular mindfulness practice, which you can then bring to other areas of your life. It allows you to take the opportunity to slow down. We live in a hustle dominated culture, but that hustle isn’t always what is best for us! Tending to your plants requires care and attention so you have to slow down. . 

They give you reminders for your own care

Your plants need regular things like water and sunlight to survive; what are the things you need daily? You need things like food, water, and sunlight too, but what else? You need joyful movement, supportive relationships, opportunities for creativity and fun. Are your needs being met?

And sometimes your plant will need a change and you won’t know exactly what it will need. You might have to try a few different things to find the best way to take care of your plants; did you give it too much water? Not enough sunlight? A combination of both? It can be tricky to figure out what your plant needs and if you wind up giving it the wrong thing, just remember it’s all part of the learning process. This is also true for you. 

Easy companionship

Plants are living things! They have needs you have to get to know them to meet, they contribute to the well being and beauty of your space, and it’s important for the relationship between you and your houseplants that what each of you bring to the home is valued. 

But they aren’t like pets who require constant care and attention. Houseplants need us–we’ve taken them out of their natural habitat so it’s our responsibility to take care of them, but unlike a dog who might need multiple walks a day, someone to clean up after them, someone to devote a good portion of their day to petting and playing with the dog, etc. plants just need a good space to be in and someone to check in on them to make sure they’re getting enough water and sun. That makes them a good option for people who want something to take care of but don’t have the time or money to commit to a pet.  

They remind you small steps matter

Your plant isn’t going to fully grow overnight; it needs regular care. Watering it once and putting it in the window isn’t enough. This is a helpful reminder to us about our own wellness and growth: it’s a constant, daily practice. And each time we tend to our plants (or ourselves) matters and aids in the growth. 

Tending to houseplants has many mental health benefits, and it’s a coping skill you can keep in your mental health toolbox for when you need it. If you’re looking for other skills and tools to help support your mental health, working with a therapist can help you find what works for you. 

Mindfulness Tips for When You’re Having a Bad Day

We all have those not so good days. Whether it’s because of something that happened at work, a fight with your partner, an uncomfortable family situation, or something else entirely, bad days happen. There is no way to avoid the occasional bad day - we can only control our reaction to it. When we're caught up in the idea that we're having a ‘bad day’ it can become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. We suddenly notice that every red light takes too long to change or that people are misunderstanding us more than usual. When we’re already agitated, it takes very little to push us the rest of the way over the edge. That’s where mindfulness can come in handy on a bad day.

When you’re in the middle of a bad day, you might feel like there’s nothing you can do to feel better in the moment. Depending on the situation, that might be true. However, mindfulness can be a helpful tool to have in your mental toolbox for when tough stuff comes up. Relying on mindfulness can help you make the most of your bad day and gain a sense of peace. 

What is mindfulness? 

Mindfulness can be a transformative practice that helps you learn to sit with your thoughts and focus fully on the here and now. Instead of worrying about the future or overanalyzing things that already happened, mindfulness is focused on what is happening now. The most important part of mindfulness is remembering not to judge yourself. When you’re actively trying to focus on the present, you will notice a million different thoughts trying to get your attention. It’s okay if they do. Mindfulness is a practice, and it takes time to learn how to let your thoughts move past without engaging them. If you notice your focus slipping, gently remind yourself that you’re focused on the present moment. It can help to have an affirmation to repeat to yourself when this happens to gently redirect your attention. Try something like “I’m focusing on the present moment now,” or paying attention to your breathing to help you stay present. 

How can mindfulness help with a bad day? 

Mindfulness teaches us to notice without judgment. When you’re having a bad day, you might have a hard time admitting that it’s a bad day, because that sounds like giving up or giving in. However, we can’t change anything if we don’t recognize it first. Admitting it’s a bad day won’t make it any worse, it just means you can acknowledge it and try to move on from there. 

Do a body scan

Where are these bad day feelings living in your body? Do you feel a heaviness in your chest or gut? Do you feel tension in your neck? Close your eyes and scan your whole body, from the top of your head down to your toes and see where the discomfort is hanging out for you. When you recognize that your feelings can be felt in your body, you can have a little more compassion for yourself. After all, if you have an ache or pain, it’s okay to treat that! It’s the same with emotional or mental pain. 

Remind yourself of the facts

Mindfulness can also help us realize that our feelings aren’t facts. We might feel like our world is ending on a bad day, but what do the facts say? Take a deep breath and separate your feelings from what’s actually going on. Remind yourself that you’ve had bad days before and you’ve gotten through every single one. If it helps, remind yourself that all days end and this one will too. 

Get it out on paper

Sometimes no matter how hard we try to focus on the present, our thoughts continue to jumble up in our heads and make us feel worse. When that happens, it can be helpful to talk or write out what you’re feeling. Grab a journal or make a voice memo in your phone and let yourself write or talk for a few minutes. Try setting a timer and give yourself that amount of time to write about it, and when you’re done, imagine closing the cover of your journal or pushing the stop button on your phone as letting go of those thoughts. It might take some practice to help you get used to dumping your thoughts and worries this way, but it can be freeing to get them all out of your head so you can focus on feeling better. 

Distract yourself

When you’re in the middle of a distressing day, a distraction might be helpful to take your mind off things. Not all distractions are bad - if it helps you to stop ruminating on what’s wrong with your day, it can be a game changer. Try distracting yourself with joyful movement, cooking, making art, cleaning, or something else that is fun but also challenging. 

Use your senses to self-soothe

If you’re feeling extremely distressed, soothing yourself can be essential. Try using your senses to soothe yourself. Pick 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Keep going through these until you feel less agitated. You can also do breathing exercises like box breathing to help calm yourself down. 

Having a bad day is no fun, but it’s the reality from time to time. Instead of being stuck when those days come up, adding in mindfulness skills to your mental health toolbox can help support you so you can get back to feeling like yourself in no time. If you’re looking for support starting a mindfulness practice, our therapists can help find what works best for you. Contact us today to book a session. 

Learning How to Connect Emotions and Body Sensations

Learning How to Connect Emotions and Body Sensations

Do you know how emotions feel in your body? 

Emotions aren’t only felt in the mind. Our bodies react to our environments just like our brains do, and it can be helpful to connect emotions with body sensations so we can better understand what’s going on within us. 

It’s very common to feel a separation between emotions and body sensations. 

We often don’t receive much education when we’re young about emotional regulation and mental health, so lots of people don’t learn how to tune into the connection between emotions and sensations until adulthood.

Not only that, but in our culture we’re often encouraged to avoid our feelings. Think about how it’s considered a sign of “strength” to appear emotionless, especially in areas of power like politics or medicine. People cheerfully respond “Look on the bright side!” when confronted with the painful emotions of others. We’re taught that uncomfortable emotions like fear, shame, anger, and sadness aren’t as acceptable to express as positive emotions like joy, satisfaction, pride, and hope. 

It can be hard to describe what you’re feeling in your body, particularly if you have a history of using dissociation to cope. 

When you learn how to notice how your body reacts to certain emotions, you’ll be better able to spot difficult emotions when they come up before they cause distress. 

Learning how to connect your emotional experience to what’s going on in your body gives you another resource to turn to when you’re not sure what you’re feeling. If you can’t name it based on what’s going on in your head, turning to the body sensations you’re feeling can help you identify your emotions. 

So, how can you learn how to connect emotions and body sensations for yourself? Here’s a guide on how to approach it: 

Pause

Our bodies use emotions as messengers. They give us information about what’s going on in our environment, and it takes practice to tune into that communication. Give yourself permission to interrupt that communication so you can have more of a say in how you react. Taking a pause before you get carried away with an emotion gives you and your rational self a chance to intervene before things get worse. 

When you notice an uncomfortable feeling, whether it’s in your mind or a sensation in your body, take notice and give yourself space to take a few breaths. Remind yourself of the present moment, and ask yourself what’s actually going on. Taking this time to pause gives you more agency, or control, over the situation. 

Notice and Explore

Once you’ve interrupted your emotional spiral with a pause, it’s time to loop in what’s going on in your body. Do a body scan and try to notice any tension or discomfort that comes up. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Start from the top of your head and work down to your toes (or vice versa) while exploring any sensations you feel. What areas of your body are activated? 

For example, let’s say you’re feeling angry. When some people feel angry, they experience a tightness or pressure in their chest or throat. Some people feel a churning in their stomach or tension in their muscles when they’re angry. Everyone is different, so you’ll have to take the time to get to know your own personal tendencies about how you experience emotions in your body. 

Name

Have you ever heard the phrase “Name it to tame it”? This means that it’s easier to control how we react when we understand what it is that we’re feeling. When naming your emotions, it might be helpful for you to reframe your thoughts from “I am” to “I feel”. 

Why is this change important? Remember, you are not your emotions, you feel your emotions. 

There’s a difference between “I am sad” and “I feel sad,” even if it seems miniscule. The first phrase implies that we are the emotion that we’re feeling, that it is even part of our identity. The other phrase describes what’s actually happening - an emotion, sadness, has come up and you are immersed in it. 

If you’re wondering where to start when naming emotions that you might not be familiar with, using a tool like a feelings wheel (or even an emotions-sensations wheel like this one). This can help give you language to describe what you’re experiencing. Sometimes it will be easier to identify emotions based on the body sensations you feel, and sometimes it will be easier to name an emotion and then connect it to body sensations.The more you practice identifying your emotions and how they show up in your body, the easier it will be in the future. 

Give yourself resources 

Learning how to recognize and name your emotions and body sensations can help you get to the source of your feelings. Once you’ve uncovered that source, it can feel uncomfortable to sit in that emotion fully. How can you give yourself resources to help you cope in the moment? Is there anything you can do  to make things easier for yourself right now? It may also to be helpful to use your newfound emotional identification skills to use and search for any positive sensations that are happening along with what’s going on. Some resources that might help you when you’re in an uncomfortable moment are:

• Grounding practice or mediation

• Mindfulness meditation

• Reminding yourself of where and when you are (you’re safe, you’re in the present moment, not in the past). 

When you have the resources in place to help you cope, it’s easier to sit with an emotion, even if it’s intense. This is because you know that you have the skills and the resources to turn to when you need relief from those intense feelings. 

Express

Now that you understand more about what you’re feeling and where you’re feeling it in your body, you can take action to express that emotion. The way you express your emotion will likely vary from emotion to emotion and even day to day. The key is to tune into both your body and mind and try to meet the needs that they’re expressing to you. 

Are you wondering why it’s necessary to express emotions instead of just ignoring them? When you ignore your emotions or push them down, you can actually do more damage than you think. Suppressing emotions can be linked to poor communication in relationships, resentment, explosions of anger, and even physical symptoms like sleep issues or heart problems. 

People like to express their emotions in all sorts of ways. Here are some ideas to try: 

• Cry

• Scream

• Rapid movement, like running or jumping jacks

• Dance

• Sleep

• Write it out in a journal

• Talk it over with a loved one

• Play a game 

• Make a piece of art that shows your emotional experience

Learning how to connect emotions and body sensations is something that takes practice and lots of compassion. Working with a therapist can give you even more resources to take with you into the world so you can feel confident knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way. Get in touch with our office today to get started with one of our expert clinicians in. 

3 Ways to Build Interoceptive Awareness

3 Ways to Build Interoceptive Awareness 

Did you know that you have way more than 5 senses? 

When we were little, most of us learned that we had five senses - sight, taste, hearing, smell, and touch. In fact, there are many more ways that our bodies pick up on information in the world around us and make sense of what’s going on. 

Some of the less commonly understood senses are proprioception (sensing where your body parts are in space), thermoception (sensing temperature), nociception (sensing pain), equilibrioception (sensing balance), and interoception (sensing what’s happening in your body). Interoception, in particular, can play a role in decoding the emotional messages we’re getting from our bodies.

What is interoception? 

Interoception is being in touch with what’s going on in your body. It’s a mind-body connection that lets us tune in to the messages that our bodies send us. When we have experiences, our bodies are often heavily involved, but many of us don’t have a lot of practice translating what they have to say. Decoding the interoceptive signals that our bodies send us is something that comes with practice and patience. 

Interoception allows us to feel things like: 

• Hunger 

• Thirst

• Urge to use the bathroom

• Emotions

• Tired

• Itchiness

• Heart rate

• Muscle tension

• Body temperature 

Many of us are more disconnected from our bodies than we realize.

It’s a cultural norm, for example, to learn to ignore body cues about hunger and fullness in order to meet beauty expectations. It’s such a struggle to learn how to tune in to the messages your body gives you about its hunger needs that there’s a whole framework called intuitive eating that teaches people how to re-learn those signals. 

Some people are disconnected from their bodies for painful reasons. Folks who live with chronic pain may not be able to handle being fully present in their body when it is in pain, so may feel easier to ignore those body messages. Survivors of trauma may not feel safe in their bodies and so may not know if they can trust the messages they’re receiving. 

We all have a level of interoceptive awareness, or the ability to understand the messages we get from our bodies. Some people have lower levels of awareness of their internal body sensations, or lower interoceptive awareness. The messages our bodies send us can be tricky to understand if you’re not sure what to look for, but it’s possible to increase your level of interoceptive awareness. 

Why interoceptive awareness is helpful for mental health

It would be helpful if our bodies and our brains spoke the same language, but they often don’t. The messages our bodies send us come in what are known as interoceptive signals, and they can be easy to miss if you don’t know what you’re looking for. These interoceptive signals help us identify our emotions, which is an important step in emotional regulation.

For example, let’s say you’re frustrated about something. You might have a sense of unease that you’re picking up on, but you’re not sure where it’s coming from. It could be mistaken for fear or anger. There might be subtle signals that set it apart from the other emotions, but if you don’t pick up on them, it might take you longer to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Some signs to look out for that distinguish your feeling of frustration could be:

• The level of tension in your muscles (are your muscles tense, like you’re ready to run or strike? Or are you feeling more relaxed?)

• How fast your heart rate is (often your heart rate will speed up when you’re afraid or angry)

• Feeling hungry or thirsty (if you’re afraid, often your sense of hunger will disappear as fight or flight kicks in)

• Feeling tightness somewhere in your body (some people experience frustration as a tightness in their chest or throat)

It can feel like a full time job just trying to ride the waves of your changing emotions sometimes, but emotional regulation is even harder when we can’t name the emotions we’re feeling.  It’s hard to regulate something you can’t name, because you don’t know what to look for. When you are able to read the messages from your body, though, it becomes easier to regulate what you’re feeling. 

How to strengthen your sense of interoception

It takes practice to learn how to engage the sense of interoception. Interoceptive awareness builds with time, so the more you can be curious about what’s going on in your body, the better. Here are 3 other ways to strengthen your sense of interoception. 

Practice mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is often one of our suggestions, because it really makes a difference. Learning how to focus your attention on the present moment is an important skill that is a foundation for mental wellness. 

Instead of letting your thoughts or feelings carry you away, practicing mindfulness teaches you how to notice and name what you experience. It also helps you learn how to let go of judgments you have of yourself. We tend to judge ourselves a lot more than we’d ever judge anyone else. That sense of judgment can make it hard to fully express yourself, even to yourself. 

To build up your sense of body awareness, try a body scan meditation or a grounding exercise that focuses on the senses. These will help you get in the habit of checking in with your body as you check in with your mind. 

Connect body signals with emotions

Sadly, many of us don’t learn how to notice and name our emotions until they’re causing us distress. We can feel a wide range of emotions as humans, and sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint which one you’re experiencing. It may be easier for you to identify your emotions if you’re able to connect the signals of your body with the emotions you feel. This not only helps you tune into the signals from your body, but it helps you understand how you personally experience each emotion, which will make it easier to identify in the future. 

It may be helpful to consult an emotion wheel to pinpoint which emotion you’re feeling. This is a fantastic one because it links emotions and sensations, so if you’re not sure what you’re feeling, you can explore the sensations you’re experiencing and try to determine your emotions from that angle instead.

Practice body curiosity

Occupational Therapist and interoception expert Kelly Mahler recommends practicing body curiosity to build your interoceptive awareness. Body curiosity is what it sounds like - practicing being curious about your body. The key with body curiosity is to remove judgment from the equation. There’s nothing your body is doing that is bad or wrong, it’s all just information. When you can remove the layer of judgment, it’s easier to be honest with yourself and understand what is really going on. This is especially helpful to teach to young ones as they grow so it’s a habit for them to check in with their bodies without judgment. 

Try keeping a body curiosity journal to get in the habit of checking in with your body. You can quickly note what your body feels like during daily activities, so you can pick out patterns and learn more about how you physically experience emotions.

There are many different ways to support your mental health, and learning more about how to listen to the messages your body is telling you is one. It builds trust between you and your body when you make an effort to be a loving parent to yourself. Working with a therapist can help you uncover more ways to support your mental health that work for you and your lifestyle. Call or email us today to get started. 

Getting Started with Hiking for Mental Health

Did you know just going out in nature is good for your mental health?

It’s true! Just going for a walk in your neighborhood counts too–anywhere there is some sort of green (trees and plants) and fresh air is good for your mental health. Lisa Nisbet, PhD, a psychologist at Trent University in Ontario, Canada told the American Psychological Association: 

“There is mounting evidence, from dozens and dozens of researchers, that nature has benefits for both physical and psychological human well­being. You can boost your mood just by walking in nature, even in urban nature. And the sense of connection you have with the natural world seems to contribute to happiness even when you’re not physically immersed in nature.”

One easy way to spend time in nature? Hiking! It’s a wonderful way to build both physical and mental health. Here are a few benefits of hiking:  

Benefits of Hiking: 

It gets your body moving:

While you definitely don’t need to be hitting the gym five days a week, it’s still best practice to find gentle & joyful ways to move your body–both for your physical and mental health. Our culture has an odd relationship to exercise, where it can very easily become toxic if not navigated intentionally. That’s why something like hiking can be such a wonderful way to fill that need for moving your body! No matter what experience level you’re at–whether hiking to you is a leisurely stroll through the woods, or an intense mountain climbing experience–there’s a way to make hiking work for you. 

It can also be a social activity: 

Hiking gives you the opportunity to explore paths all around where you live (or further, if you’re an adventure hiker!) If you have a favorite trail, inviting friends or loved ones, or taking a date there can be a great way to spend meaningful time with people away from the distractions of technology. 

It offers a chance for meditation: 

Spending time in nature is a great way to give yourself a chance to just slow down. Put your phone away (or pick a trail where you don’t get reception anyway) and use the hike as a way to engage with your senses, your surroundings and the present moment. What are you seeing on the trail? What sounds can you hear? Other hikers? Streams? Animals running through the woods? Wind blowing through the trees? Can you smell anything? How does the trail feel under your feet? If finding a way to fit a meditation practice into your day to day life is a challenge, using hiking as an opportunity for mindfulness can help strengthen your ability to slow down and stay present. And since you want to be enjoying nature anyway, hiking is the perfect time!

It can help you get to know your local history: 

Some hiking trails follow along historical landmarks or areas of local history, with placards marking different spots to tell you what happened there. You can also learn about what sorts of plants and animals are common and native to your area, learn the history of the trails and why they are where they are. Using hiking as an opportunity to get to know your local area can be a fun way to feel more connected to where you live, which reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation. 

Getting started with hiking: 

If you’re new to hiking, it might seem like an intimidating hobby. But you don’t have to be an expert adventurer to have fun on the trails. Here are a few tips to help you get started if you’ve never tried hiking before: 

Look up family friendly trails: 

If you’re unsure about your hiking skill level, no worries! Plenty of trails are designed for families, and are a great place to start out. Go on yelp or google or alltrails and look up family friendly hikes in your area and you should be able to find plenty of places to get started. 

Crowdsource hikes in your area: 

There may be a local hiking enthusiasts facebook or meetup group you can join. You can also make a post on a local subreddit to see if anyone has favorite trails to recommend. Even social and dating apps like Lex (a classified style app where you post about social groups/dates/community events) to search for good trails and new hiking buddies in your area! 

Work with what you have: 

You don’t need to go out and buy a bunch of outdoor equipment to get into hiking. If it turns out to be something you like, a comfortable sturdy pair of hiking boots might be a good idea, but other than that, if you’re just taking walks on local trails? Don’t worry about it! Start off with your best pair of sneakers and some comfortable clothes you don’t mind getting dirty, and just have fun! Remember, you’re not hiking to be the best hiker out there, you don’t need to level up every time you go out. Do what is comfortable and enjoyable for you. That way you’ll want to do it again!

Hiking has many benefits, for both your physical and mental health, and it’s a coping skill you can keep in your mental health toolbox for when you need it. If you’re looking for other skills and tools to help support your mental health, working with a therapist can help you find what works for you.  

5 Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

5 Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

Have you ever felt mentally refreshed after spending time outside?

The idea that getting some fresh air can be beneficial to health is not a new one. It’s go-to advice for many people, because being outside in nature actually is good for you in a number of ways. 

Physically, moving your body can help you release stress, process emotions, and feel more energized. Mentally, spending time outside in nature can leave you feeling more mindful of the present moment and connected to the world around you, which can boost feelings of happiness. 

Most of us spend almost all day staring at some screen or another, and it takes its toll on our mental and physical well-being. Our bodies haven’t evolved to support us as we sit and stare at a screen, so spending all day doing that can lead to some pretty serious aches and pains. Heading outside when you have the chance is a nice change of scenery!

Nature means different things to different people. You don’t have to be deep in a forest or at the top of a mountain to benefit from nature - you can get just as much from a walk down the street as a long hike. What matters is being present to enjoy the moment and notice what’s happening around you. 

Why is nature so good for mental health? Here are 5 mental health benefits of spending time in nature: 

Helps you practice mindfulness 

Research has shown that feeling connected with nature plays a role in how it benefits you. The more strongly you feel connected to nature and the environment around you, the more positive impact on your wellbeing.

To feel more connected to nature, practice noticing your surroundings, and using your senses to take in all the information that nature has to offer. Focus on each sense one at a time to help make sense of what you’re experiencing and as a bonus it will help keep you in the present moment to enjoy it while it’s happening. 

Lowers your stress level

Life moves pretty fast, and it’s hard to keep up sometimes. Stress is something that we all deal with, but we don't all deal with it well. Some coping skills are more supportive than others, and spending time outside might help you feel less stressed than your other options. 

For example, if you’re stressed about work, you can cope in a number of ways. Just to name a few, you could vent to your friends, zone out in front of the TV, move your body, engage in a hobby, or practice positive affirmations. You could also go outside and let nature help. 

Spending time noticing what’s going on around you - which plants are growing, what animals you see or hear, the feeling of the breeze on your face - gives you something else to focus on while you calm down. In fact, research has found that being outside lowers levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, so the stress-lowering powers of nature can actually be measured. 

Improves concentration 

If you feel like you have a hard time concentrating on things these days, you’re not alone. Research has reported that our attention spans are getting shorter with the popularity of screen time and social media. In 2000, the human attention span was measured to be approximately 12 seconds, and by 2015 it had shrunk to just 8.2 seconds. 

Fortunately, spending time outside can help improve concentration and other cognitive abilities, so when you’ve had enough screen time, try heading outside.  

Gives a sense of wonder and awe

Life is a beautiful, wonderful mystery, and spending time in nature can reinforce that. Nature is often beautiful, awe inspiring, and helps us feel connected to something larger than ourselves. When we spend time in nature, we can see the ways that everything interacts with each other and realize that we are part of the interaction too. 

We can walk on ground that’s been there for millennia, and gaze up at trees that have been growing for hundreds or even thousands of years. Nature can inspire gratitude, wonder, and awe, which are all beautiful parts of being alive. 

Changes your perspective 

Nature can give us a perspective that is otherwise too abstract for our minds to understand. We often think of time in terms of the human lifespan, but nature is on a different timeline. Nature takes her time, and the bigger picture is slowly revealed. 

Think of the Grand Canyon, which started with water flowing in a river on a flat plain, and slowly dug away at the rock to form one of the most beautiful canyons in the world. Nature doesn’t worry about anyone else’s timeline. Day by day, you probably couldn’t see the changes in the rock, but after thousands of years, the difference is clear. 

Zooming out and thinking of the big picture can help you manage worries and uncomfortable feelings, because you know they won’t last forever. 

So, the next time you have a few minutes, get outside. See how it feels!

Spending time in nature has many mental health benefits, and it’s a coping skill you can keep in your mental health toolbox for when you need it. If you’re looking for other skills and tools to help support your mental health, working with a therapist can help you find what works for you.  

5 Ideas for Soothing Your Nervous System in Tough Times

5 Ideas for Soothing Your Nervous System in Tough Times

We all go through seasons in life, and some are harder than others. When times are tough, it can feel like it’s impossible to make yourself feel better. Understanding how our nervous systems respond in tough times can help us come up with better ways to soothe ourselves when we feel distressed. 

It’s no secret that times are tough right now. Not only are we still dealing with the pandemic and its aftermath, we’re also dealing with war in Europe, rising inflation, climate disaster, and the biggest ideological divide in the US in history. In short: it’s tough out there. 

Even with all of this going on, most of us are still holding ourselves to pre-pandemic standards  of productivity, which is leading to burnout, resentment, and stress. This constant stress and fear can lead to our nervous systems being overwhelmed, leaving us feeling distressed and out of control. 

Why does my nervous system get activated when times are tough? 

You may have heard of the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is activated when we’re in hyperarousal - it controls the fight or flight response. Where the sympathetic nervous system brings you out of your window of tolerance, the parasympathetic nervous system brings you back down and helps you feel calm. 

When we feel threatened, our bodies take that seriously. This can happen even if you’re not consciously aware that you feel threatened. Whether you’re on board or not, our bodies look for ways to keep us safe at all costs. This can lead to several responses you may be familiar with: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. 

Humans are animals, and as such we have animal-like instincts that take over when we sense danger. 

Fight or flight is when you either prepare to run away from danger or toward the danger to engage. These reactions take you above your window of tolerance, into hyperarousal. 

On the other hand, when feeling threatened leaves you feeling numb and disconnected, you experience the freeze response. Similarly, a fawn response happens when you try to please someone else to avoid conflict. These responses take you below your window of tolerance, into hypoarousal. 

Ideally, we stay within our windows of tolerance because that is the state of mind where we’re most likely to make good decisions and meet our own needs. Going above or below can feel distressing, so the goal is to get back to that window of tolerance. 

What’s wrong with how I cope now? 

The ways we cope aren’t always supportive of who we are now and the goals we have. We learn coping skills when we’re young, and what we need to cope and feel safe as youngsters is often not the same as when we grow up. Running away or fighting aren’t how we tend to solve problems as adults. It’s hard to get things done if you’re stuck in a freeze response, and the lengths you often have to go to avoid conflict when fawning are exhausting. 

Even if a coping mechanism you use seems like it’s a problem now, remember that you developed it to keep yourself safe. It’s okay if it no longer serves you, but try your best not to judge yourself for doing what you needed to in the past to cope. Just as you learned to cope before, you can develop new coping skills that actually help you instead of causing distress. 

How can I soothe my nervous system in tough times?

Here are 5 things to try, see how they work for you: 

Move your body

Many times, bringing your focus back to your body can help connect your physical experiences with what’s going on in your head, and can help you feel less out of control. Moving your body is also a great way to shake off the excess energy that comes up when our nervous systems are activated. If you’re feeling numb or disconnected from your body due to hypoarousal, movement can help get you back in touch with your physical self. 

Sometimes intense movement can feel good when your nervous system is activated, but it doesn’t have to be difficult exercise to have a benefit. Anything that gets you moving around - dancing, cleaning, gardening, etc. - can help you feel better in moments of distress. 

Hum or sing

Did you know that humming or singing can help soothe your nervous system when it’s activated? Both humming and singing can stimulate the vagus nerve, which is basically the connection between your brain and your body. It helps control things like your heart rate and digestion. When this nerve is stimulated, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system and can bring you back into your window of tolerance. 

Since this nerve runs from your brainstem to your colon, right through your throat and past your larynx (voice box), it can be stimulated by your voice. When you feel like you need to soothe your nervous system back to your baseline, try singing or humming for a few minutes.

Play with temperature 

Using temperature to soothe your nervous system can also be helpful. Whether you feel your system is hyper or hypoactive, focusing on the temperature of something can help distract you back into the present moment where you can realize you’re safe. 

Try holding onto an ice cube in each hand or even taking a cold shower. Some people also find dunking their head into cold water can make a big difference in lowering distress. It might sound strange, but it gives you something else to focus on while your nervous system calms down enough to relieve your distress. 

Lengthen your breath

When we feel stressed, often our breathing rate picks up and becomes more shallow. It takes mindful effort to take deep full breaths when this happens, but it can make a huge difference in how you feel. 

Sometimes our breathing rate shifts without us noticing, and focusing on taking slow, deep breaths in and out can help with calming down. Breathwork is the practice of conscious, controlled breathing. There are many different breathing patterns that can help with various goals: relaxation, meditation, sleep, focus, and more. You can try different breaths on your own, like box breathing, or follow a guided breathing session on youtube or a meditation app. 

Meditation session or guided mindfulness session

Sometimes our nervous system decides it senses danger (like when life gets tough) and it feels like it takes off without us. Before we even know what’s happening, we’re in distress. That can be such a frustrating feeling. Our systems were set up to look for danger to keep us safe, but that system doesn’t always work perfectly. 

Sometimes our system warns us of danger that isn’t there, or shuts down to protect us when there is no reason to. When this happens, focusing on the present moment can help you regain your sense of awareness. Instead of your body and brain running away without you, you can remind yourself where you are and that you’re safe. It might even feel helpful to say to yourself “I’ve got this now,” or “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Knowing you have your own back is a powerful feeling. 

Are you looking for more ways to soothe your nervous system in tough times? Working with a therapist can help you explore what’s going on in a holistic way, where we take your whole life and experience into account as we support you with your goals.

Therapy is a great opportunity to learn coping skills that you can take with you into the future, no matter what comes your way. Get in touch with our office today to set up an appointment!

What to Teach Your Child About Worry

We’ve talked a bit about anxiety in children before, but what about regular worrying? How can we teach our children the difference between the two? And what can we do to help them develop healthy coping skills for both?

While worrying isn’t a chronic condition the way an anxiety disorder is, it still is something kids need guidance on how to handle. Like all big emotions, they can feel scary and overwhelming when that emotion is new to you. 

So first, what’s the difference between worry and anxiety?

Worry tends to be specific, and grounded in reality (ex. I’m worried I won’t do well on this test because I’ve been struggling in this class) while anxiety is typically more generalized and does not necessarily use logic to assess risk. Anxiety is chronic, long lasting, while worry is temporary–and usually due to a specific, high-pressure circumstance. Along with these differences, the way worry and anxiety show up in us is different. While worry is mainly just your mind (worried thoughts) anxiety can be both mind and body. There are many physical symptoms of anxiety to look out for, which can help you distinguish whether you’re feeling anxiety or worry. 

The main difference between anxiety and worry is that anxiety often impairs function, and worry does not. Worry may actually work as a motivator, while anxiety can often make you feel frozen and unable to make any changes. 

If you think what your child is experiencing is anxiety, not worry, you can find more signs, symptoms & tips on how to help here. 

But, what do we need to teach children about worry?

Worrying is normal

Everyone worries! So if they are feeling worry that’s, well, nothing to be worried about. (If it begins to impair their functioning, then it’s time to get outside support). Let them know that you worry about things too! Share some things you worry about, and how you find healthy ways to cope with that worry. Ask them what they are worried about, and let them know they can always share when they are feeling that way. 

Worrying comes from somewhere: 

If your child doesn’t typically feel nervous or worried, when they do, it might be hard or overwhelming for them to handle. They might not know enough about themselves and their feelings to figure out why they are feeling worried or what caused it without help or guidance. Take some time to listen to their worries. Again, if you think it will comfort them, share one of your own worries and how you manage it. Then, sit with them and find some possible methods of easing that worry. 

If your child is worried about a presentation for school, for example, you can ask them if they are worried about the work they’ve done, or if it’s the pressure of presenting in front of peers, or if they are just worried about their grade. Help them find ways to problem solve the worry as much as you can (ex. Practice the presentation in front of you, go over their work with them to be sure they didn’t forget anything, remind them of how much hard work they put into the project, etc.). 

Worrying isn’t always bad: 

We worry for a reason. Just like we have pain receptors for a reason–a little discomfort can signal to us that something is wrong and needs to be taken care of. When you’re in a dangerous situation and you feel worried–that’s not anxiety being irrational or your brain trying to punish you. It’s setting off a little alarm saying “hey! Something’s not right and we need to do something about that.” Teaching your kids to investigate their worries and listen to that little alarm that goes off will help them to strengthen their own intuition, and help them later distinguish between a gut feeling telling them something is wrong, and anxiety setting off an alarm for something that isn’t there. 

If you're looking for support for your child, or if you're not sure where to begin, contact us today for help! 

Mindfulness To Help Anxiety

Do you ever feel like you are overwhelmed by all of the thoughts and feelings taking up space in your head? Most of us have days where we feel like our brains won’t knock it off, but for folks living with anxiety, this can be a constant battle. Your thoughts, feelings, worries, judgments, and decisions take up a lot of space in your brain, and it can be hard to focus on anything else sometimes. One way to give yourself a buffer between you and the noise in your head is to develop a mindfulness practice. 

You’ve probably heard of mindfulness before - we’ve talked about it on the blog a few times before, and mindfulness is kind of a buzzword right now, especially in mental health and wellness spaces. Mindfulness is a practice designed to teach us how to be in the present moment.  According to PsychCentral, the act of mindfulness is “paying attention in the present moment, on purpose, nonjudgmentally.” The two big things to remember when practicing mindfulness are awareness and acceptance. Mindfulness gives us an awareness of what’s going on in our own inner world. When practicing mindfulness, it’s also important to accept yourself. Do your best to shut down any judgment or negative self-talk when they come up, and just remember to focus on the present moment. 

Mindfulness helps to take us out of the mindset where we do things automatically or out of habit.

When you’re living with anxiety, you might feel like you don’t have enough time or emotional energy to change up your routines, but when you make time regularly to notice your surroundings, both internally and externally, you will start to notice patterns that you might not have seen before. Taking note of the patterns that come up for you in your daily life can help you make better decisions in the future, plan for tricky situations, and remind yourself that you are capable of doing difficult things. 

If you’re looking for some ways to practice mindfulness that can help you manage your anxiety, here are some tips: 

Make your space more mindful

When you have a set space to practice mindfulness, you will signal to your body and brain that it’s mindfulness time every time you sit there. You don’t need to use a whole room in your house for this, but if you have a cozy spot that you can dedicate to mindfulness, even the habit of sitting in that spot can help you get in the headspace to be present and aware of your surroundings, internally and externally. Try sitting in your favorite chair, or by a sunny window, or even in a corner of your bedroom. You can personalize the space so that it is ideal for your exact needs - have soft things to touch, smells that make you feel calm or grounded, play calming or happy music. 

Don’t go it alone

Anxiety is something we largely have to deal with on our own, but mindfulness doesn’t need to be a big secret! Try involving someone else in your mindfulness practice. This doesn’t necessarily have to be someone you sit down to practice mindfulness with, but it can be someone who holds you accountable to your goal of practicing mindfulness more often. When someone else knows that you’re working toward a goal of being more mindful, it can be really motivating. 

Morning journaling

Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting still with your eyes closed. Mindfulness can be anything that makes you feel connected to the present moment, whether that’s sitting quietly on a cushion, taking a walk through the woods, or even washing your dishes. One way to help combat the overflow of thoughts that comes with anxiety is to spend some time each morning journaling. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind, without judgment. You can set a timer and just free write until you feel more focused on the present, or you can find journal prompts to help you get there if you need a little guidance. 

Notice your breathing 

Getting out of your own head can be really tricky. Try starting with your breath. Focusing your thoughts to the present takes lots of practice, so if you can’t stop your thoughts that is okay. Do your best to move on from each thought when you notice it pop up. Try to slow down your breath and really focus on each inhale and exhale. Close your eyes if it helps! 

Mindfulness is a great tool because you can practice it anywhere- all you need is your mind. When you have anxiety, you take it with you everywhere you go, so it’s extremely valuable to have tools you can use in the moment to soothe yourself. With practice, mindfulness will become easier and you can use it anytime you need a reset to focus on the current moment. If you’re trying to figure out how mindfulness can help you manage your anxiety, our clinicians can help you come up with a mindfulness practice that works for you.