Do you feel a bit at odds with yourself during winter?

In a world that prioritizes productivity above all else, the natural rhythm of winter can feel at odds with our cultural expectations. While there are of course the serious concerns of seasonal affective disorder and managing the ways in which that impacts our daily wellness, but winter can often feel like a challenge because it’s asking us to remember that we’re beings of nature, not machines who can work at an endless pace. Winter demands we slow down and rest, and we struggle the most when we’re not able to engage with those needs.  

What if winter isn’t a time to push through, but an invitation to slow down? Even if we can’t get there fully, like bears hibernating until spring, can we meet our need for slowness and rest this season halfway? Can we learn to welcome a season of rest? Embracing rest during this season can be a radical act of self-care and healing.

What are the Barriers to Rest?

Our relationship to rest is shaped in part by the social and cultural norms we’ve internalized, by observing them in action in those around us. In a society reliant on white supremacist capitalist ideals, we’ve learned that we earn worth through productivity and accomplishment. The extension of that thought, is that instead of deserving rest because we exist and all beings need rest, we must earn it. We are praised for being busy, for hustling, and idealize those who  “push through” adversity, when in reality many folks cannot push through the obstacles in their path because they are systemic inequalities that only compound any obstacles encountered. 

The function of this is to keep us tired, lacking self esteem, not knowing how to take care of ourselves because it has never been a priority, and constantly feeling as though we need to prove our worthiness through running ourselves ragged. (If you’re interested in exploring the connection between capitalist culture and white supremacy, Tricia Hersey, founder of the Nap Ministry, explores just that in her book Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto.) 

This cultural relationship to rest is only one part, but often our personal and family histories only reinforce this toxic imbalance. Think of the environment you grew up in, did those in a caretaking role prioritize rest for themselves? Was rest viewed as a reward, or something that was nice when you were able to do it, but not a necessity? 

We’re often getting the same anti-rest messages on a micro level in our families and communities as we are from our culture at large. It may not be on purpose–while there is a larger function to keeping folks exhausted within capitalism, the lack of rest, or the inability to prioritize rest on a micro level is often due to the constraints of capitalism, where people are struggling to pay their bills, while working more than ever. 

Recognizing these patterns can help us understand why leaning into rest feels so difficult. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these histories and begin rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us.

The Challenges of a Slower Season

While it can be a calling to slow down and embrace rest, winter presents its own set of obstacles to navigate. The shorter, darker days make it hard to maintain energy and motivation through the day, while Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can negatively impact mood, sleep, and daily health. Because of this–and our toxic relationship to rest–winter often becomes a season of struggle. We push ourselves to maintain the rhythms of our usual lives, even when our bodies,our minds, and our environment are all signaling the need to slow down.

But humans aren’t machines, and we can’t try to operate as though we are. We’re beings of nature, and just like everything in nature, we need seasons to rest. Nothing in nature grows or blooms all year long, so how could we?. This season of rest lays the foundation for growth and renewal in the spring. What if we allowed ourselves the same grace?

Unpacking the roots of our discomfort with rest is a powerful act of healing. 

Tips for Embracing Rest in Winter:

Give yourself grace if these practices don’t come naturally to you–we’re all unlearning and remaking our relationship with rest the best way we’re able to. Don’t give up on them if they’re hard. Give yourself permission to let go of the need to achieve:

1. Honor Your Natural Rhythms: Listen to your body and mind, and notice when they’re asking for rest. Try to take note of what your body’s patterns are. When do you have the most energy? Can you embrace that as your “productivity” time, and allow yourself moments of rest and ease in the times your energy wanes or struggles to show up? Can you shift your daily routine for a season to make room for these needs? 

2. Create Rest Rituals: Build small moments of rest into your day. They can be small things like lighting a candle, brewing a cup of tea, or spending a few minutes in quiet reflection. Try to keep a list of small ways you find rest through your days that you can turn to when you mind itself is too tired to come up with one. You can also use these small moments to signal to your body that it’s time to transition into resting mode.

3. Remember rest serves a function: We are socialized to see rest as a luxury, or even a waste of time. But without rest, we cannot fully show up in other areas of our lives. Rest allows our mind to wander, strengthening our creativity and sense of self, and allows us time to tend to our body, which has needs that can’t be met when we’re productive. Remember rest nourishes you and enables you to show up more fully in other areas of your life.

4. Seek Connection: You are not alone in your need for rest. Can you give a friend or loved one permission to rest with you, and in turn be granted permission from them to rest? Winter can feel isolating, and that isolation can make it hard to treat ourselves with the kindness we deserve. Relying on loved ones can be mutually beneficial as you start to rework your relationship with rest. 

Embrace the Gift of Winter

Winter invites us to pause, reflect, and restore. By leaning into this season and embracing rest, we can learn to honor the natural rhythms of our lives, and feel more assured in ourselves and our self worth. 

Are you struggling to keep up with the demands of everyday life during the winter? You’re not alone, and working with a therapist can help give you an outlet and find ways to cope in the winter months. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians.