Naming Your Emotions
Do you know how to name your emotions?
It sounds easy, but it can be harder than we imagine. Often when our feelings are so strong or overwhelming, it’s hard to actually pick out what specific emotions you’re feeling. But learning to name your emotions is important and can help you manage them better so that you don’t find yourself getting as overwhelmed by them.
Have you heard the phrase name it to tame it? It a phrase psychologist Dan Siegel introduced to summarize a series of studies that all supported the idea that this process of naming our emotions in itself helps us to self soothe.
Instead of feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed by your emotions, learning to identify them not only kickstarts that self soothing process, but also helps you to unpack where that discomfort is coming from. When you know how you’re feeling, you can start to get into the why.
What happens when we don’t name our emotions?
Do they just go away? Nope! Ignoring our emotions does not make them go away, so there is really no benefit to not naming our emotions. In fact, when we ignore how we’re feeling, the feeling often intensifies, and can manifest in physical symptoms–your body’s way of demanding you pay attention to what you’re feeling.
Not naming our emotions impacts other areas of our life as well, not just our physical health. It can also impact our relationships! Our feelings impact our behavior–if you’re feeling anxious, you’ll behave differently than when you’re feeling joy, etc. Without communicating what you’re feeling, your behavior can be interpreted incorrectly by friends and loved ones, or closeness in relationships can suffer. Understanding your feelings helps you understand how they impact how you behave with everyone in your life, and also gives you an opportunity to be open with those around about how you’re feeling so they know how to best support you.
So how can you practice naming your emotions?
Use the Feelings Wheel
The feelings wheel is a great place to start if you’ve never tried identifying your feelings before. The wheel starts with 7 general emotions (bad, fearful, angry, disgusted, sad, happy, surprised) at the center, and as the rings move outward, the terms get more and more specific. So if you only know that you feel angry, you can use that as a jumping off point and go outwards until you find the specific thing you’re feeling.
Pay attention to your Physical Sensations
Naming your feelings might feel impossible, so instead focus on how those feelings are showing up. What sensations are you feeling in your body? Physical sensations are also linked to our emotions; things like tension in the neck, clenched teeth, headaches, stomach aches, dizziness, shakiness, sweating, etc. can all be expressions of upset or anxious feelings. When you noticed these sensations in your body, stop and think about them. Is there a reason you’d be feeling those sensations (ex. Did you not have caffeine so you have a headache or are you outside in 90º weather so you’re sweating, etc.) or was it triggered by something and could be reflective of a larger emotional response?