Why are life transitions so stressful?

It’s a cliche but it’s true: change is the only constant. So why does it always feel like such an insurmountable task? Change can be exciting, but more often than not, we find ourselves fixated on everything stressful about change: how we’ll soon be navigating something unknown, how we’ll be saying goodbye to things that are not only familiar to us, but comforting. 

Sometimes it’s not until our routine is disrupted that we realize having a routine isn’t the same as being in a rut; our routines can give us structure, provide us with resourceful ways to meet our needs, and give us the comfort of knowing how to take care of ourselves. So it’s natural that when our routines are disrupted with some big life change, we feel apprehensive in the face of losing that comfort and stability. This is just one of the reasons big life changes–even ones we want–are so stressful to us. 

Transitions require a lot more from us than our regular day to day lives. 

The stress of building new routines, the grief of saying goodbye to familiar parts of our lives, the fear of the unknown we have to trust ourselves to make peace with when starting something new–emotionally, life transitions require a lot of us. 

Preparing for specific life transitions isn’t always possible–some changes in life are sudden and unexpected and we have to find ways to navigate them quickly and without hesitation. But preparing for life transitions in a general sense is a key component of the therapeutic process. 

In therapy, along with navigating crises as they come up and exploring your internal experience, you get the chance to practice skills that make it easier to navigate life transitions when they come up. These skills can include: 

• Learning how to stay present when stress comes up 

• Remaining centered and grounded when problem solving and exploring feelings

• Effective and productive stress management 

• Prioritizing self compassion as you navigate stressors and learning to manage them productively

• Examining stress as a means of moving toward the life you want, rather than avoiding it whenever it comes up

• Learning to look critically but compassionately at your own behaviors: which maintain the stress you experience, and which help you break free of them?

• Building a stronger sense of self empowerment

These skills are taught and practiced over and over again in therapy. 

While you may start therapy for support in one area of your life, you’re also building the foundation you need to go back and practice those skills. And every time a new life stress or transition comes up, you get the chance to practice and strengthen those skills once again. These practices help us not just in single instances, but with lots of obstacles we face, like: 

• academic stress (starting a new school, applying for programs, keeping up with requirements, etc.)

• workplace stress (balancing responsibilities, navigating difficult professional relationships, feeling pressure to perform, burnout, etc.) 

• housing stress (finding housing, affording housing, keeping up with housing responsibilities like bills and chores, etc.)

• relationship stress (ending a relationship, starting a new relationship, navigating relationship milestones, managing relationship conflict, etc.)l

• chronic health concerns

We work with kids, teens, young adults, and adults going through various types and times of stress and life adjustment concerns, including academic stress, work stress, divorce, the end of significant relationships, moving, job changes, and chronic health stressors.

If you would like more support in coping with life transitions, our therapists at Hope+Wellness can help.