Dealing with Food and Body Image Stress During the Holidays
Do you find yourself stressing about food and your body during the holidays?
You’re not alone. The holidays can be a happy, exciting time of year, but they can also be a source of major stress, especially around food and body image. In a world that glorifies unrealistic beauty standards, it's no wonder that so many of us feel an immense sense of pressure about how we look and how others perceive our bodies. This is particularly during the holidays when food-based social gatherings and family interactions are in full swing.
Why is body image so complicated?
The term “body image” refers to the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs we hold about our bodies. It’s influenced by a mix of personal experiences, cultural messaging, and societal standards. For many of us, body image is complicated, especially in a culture that idealizes unrealistic and exclusionary beauty standards, particularly for women.
Our society often equates worthiness with appearance. Our culture values thinness, youth, whiteness, and wealth above all else. These harmful ideals make it difficult—if not impossible—to feel at home in your body. If you've ever felt "not good enough" because of how you look, you're experiencing the effects of these cultural pressures.
The holidays can intensify these feelings. Holiday gatherings often come with comments about appearance from family members, unsolicited advice about food, and the pressure to look a certain way in photos or at events. For those navigating disordered eating or eating disorder recovery, these pressures can feel even heavier.
Why are the holidays so stressful, anyway?
The holidays are supposed to be a fun, relaxing time, but that’s often not the experience people actually have. No matter what holidays you celebrate, the holiday season is steeped in traditions, many of which revolve around food. While sharing meals can be a source of joy and connection, it can also bring up things like:
Food Anxiety: Whether it’s facing judgment for how much or how little you eat, navigating fear of certain foods, or feeling triggered by diet talk, food-centric events can feel overwhelming.
Body Comments: Many people dread the comments they receive on their bodies during holiday celebrations. Relatives or friends may feel entitled to comment on your body, often under the guise of "concern" or "compliments." These comments can be triggering, even if they’re well-intentioned.
Recovery Challenges: If you’re working on healing your relationship with food and your body, the holidays may stir up old habits, fears, or negative self-talk around your appearance. The holidays tend to be a difficult time for those in recovery from eating disorders or disordered eating.
Family Dynamics: Being around family can bring up childhood wounds or patterns, particularly if body shaming or diet culture were a part of your upbringing. These dynamics can make it difficult to maintain your boundaries and values around food and your body.
It’s okay, and normal, to feel a mix of emotions during the holiday season. You might be excited to see folks you don’t normally get to see while also dreading the food and body commentary. Acknowledging that the holidays are complicated—and not always picture-perfect—is an important step toward treating yourself with compassion. While you can’t control every situation or every comment, you can take steps to protect your well-being.
Here are some strategies to help you navigate food and body image stress during the holidays:
Be clear about your boundaries
You have the right to protect your peace, and it’s okay to have boundaries about what you will and won’t accept. If you’re not comfortable discussing your body, food choices, or appearance, you can let others know in advance. Remember that boundaries outline what you will do - not what someone else will do. Try phrases like:
“I’m not comfortable talking about my body. Let’s focus on catching up instead.”
“I’d rather not discuss dieting. Can we talk about [other topic]?”
“If you continue to talk about my body that way, I will have to walk away.”
Create a game plan for mealtime
If you’re anxious about food-focused gatherings, it can help to plan ahead. Imagine the event in your head, and come up with options for each different scenario you’re worried about. It can be calming to know that you have a plan in place ahead of time. Think about how you’ll respond to family and friends who bring up difficult topics. Make a plan for how you’ll nourish yourself throughout the celebration. This might include eating regularly throughout the day (even if there’s a big meal coming up), practicing mindfulness during group meals, or bringing a dish that feels safe and satisfying for you, regardless of what everyone else is eating.
Think about who you can lean on
We all need support, and knowing you have someone you can talk to outside of the situation can be comforting. Choose one or two supportive people to lean on during holiday events that you’re worried about. This could be a partner, friend, or therapist. Let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re concerned about. Remind yourself that you can ask for help if you need it—whether that means stepping outside for a breath of fresh air or figuring out how to redirect a tricky conversation. Think about what kind of comfort you’d like during difficult holiday moments, and communicate those needs to your support person so they know how to show up for you in a way that feels supportive.
Don’t be a jerk to yourself
You might not get through every holiday moment without feeling triggered, and that’s okay. What’s important is that you treat yourself with compassion. When upsetting emotions come up, treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend, or even your younger self. If you find it hard to treat yourself with kindness, remind yourself:
“It’s okay to have a hard day.”
“My worth is not defined by my appearance.”
“I’m allowed to take up space, exactly as I am.”
Consider limiting social media
Social media is a highlight reel, but it’s hard to remember that when you’re upset. Scrolling through perfectly curated holiday photos can increase feelings of inadequacy and comparison, instead of being a cheerful reminder of the season. Consider setting boundaries with social media or unfollowing accounts that promote diet culture or unrealistic beauty standards, especially during emotionally vulnerable times like the holidays.
Get help from a therapist
Working with a therapist who understands food and body image issues can provide a supportive space to process your emotions, identify triggers, and develop tools to navigate the holidays with confidence. If disordered eating, body image struggles, or family dynamics feel overwhelming, therapy can be a game-changer for finding peace and healing.