3 Ways to Build Trust With Your Body
Do you trust your body?
Body trust might not be something that you’ve ever considered much before. It might seem like a strange concept, but working toward trusting your body can be helpful with self-image, confidence, and self-compassion.
When we’re born, we know to trust our bodies. When a baby is hungry, they don’t question the hunger cues they’re feeling. They just feel hungry and cry for food. When that baby gets older, though, they might not be as able to tune in to what their body is telling them to determine that they’re hungry. Why is that?
Over time, they began to question the trust they have in their body and their trust in themselves to listen to and care for it.
Body trust is the concept of feeling connected and compassionate toward your body, and trusting its innate wisdom. Our bodies know a lot more about what they need than we think. Our bodies send us messages all of the time, but it’s often tricky to pick up on them when you’ve grown up learning how to tune them out.
The Center of Body Trust has a great explanation: “You were born with an inherent trust for your body. Somewhere along the way you became disconnected from that way of knowing. Body Trust is disrupted by many things including and not limited to trauma, oppression, illness, and social constructs of gender, race, sexuality, beauty, health, and weight. Body Trust is an invitation to return to a relationship with your body and yourself that you want to be in for your lifetime—flexible, compassionate and connected.”
It might seem a little odd to have a term for what is essentially just listening to your body, but it’s necessary for many reasons. As we grow, we become influenced by the culture that we live in. We experience discrimination and oppression in some cases. Many of us experience trauma. These experiences teach us to disconnect from our bodies as a way to fit in, and often to stay safe. For example, someone in a larger body might internalize the message that they can only get help from medical professionals if they ignore their body cues for hunger and rest. To avoid substandard medical care due to anti-fat bias, they work to change their body size.
This is just one example of the ways that we lose trust with our bodies. Any time you have felt that your body isn’t good enough or felt pressure from someone other than yourself to change your body, it reinforces the concept that you can’t trust your body. After a lifetime, it is hard to unlearn.
What does a lack of body trust look like?
You might not even realize the messages that you’ve taken in about bodies throughout your life. There may be cultural messages that you disagree with on an intellectual level but have a hard time disconnecting from for yourself. You’re not alone. It’s hard to disengage from the constant messaging that your body is not good enough and that you can’t trust what it’s telling you.
When you don’t trust your body, you might have a harder time picking up on body cues like hunger or thirst. You might ignore your body’s needs, like needing to take a break, because you feel you should push through.
For many of us, it’s a habit to tune out what our bodies are telling us. It will take time and practice to learn how to tune back in. If you’re working on rebuilding the trust you have with your body, here are 3 things to try:
Notice and appreciate what your body does for you
Lots of us are disconnected from the ways our bodies support us. When we learn how to ignore the messages from our bodies, it makes it harder to appreciate all of the ways our bodies show up for us, day after day. The truth is that there’s probably something you can find to appreciate about your body. Maybe you really appreciate the way your senses allow you to experience the world. Or maybe you really love how your arms allow you to snuggle your pets.
Take some time to tune in and notice what your body does for you. It’s gotten you this far, after all! Chances are, there is something, even if it’s small, that you can find to appreciate about your body. This will take time to learn. It’s taken a lifetime to learn how not to trust your body, and that won’t go away overnight.
To get in the habit of tuning in to what your body is telling you, try doing a body scan. Take a few minutes to close your eyes and mindfully imagine your gaze scanning over each part of your body. Take a pause at each area to listen to what your body needs. Does your body need something to eat or drink? Does your body need a hug or to move around a little? Listening to the messages that you get from your body and meeting your body’s needs will help to reinforce that you can trust each other.
Remind yourself that your body is not the problem
Most of the messages that we get about our bodies being a problem come from people trying to sell us something. If marketers can convince us that it’s our bodies that are the problem, then it’s much easier to sell us a solution. When you notice negative thoughts about your body creeping up, try to remind yourself that there are a lot of people who make a lot of money making you distrust your body. Who is profiting from you feeling this way? It’s probably not you.
All of our bodies are different. They don’t always work the way they should, but that doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to always hate your body. Sometimes feeling positively about your body is not possible, but body neutrality can be helpful in those moments. Your body doesn’t have to be perfect and you don’t need to be its biggest fan. You just need to treat your body with respect, because you’re on the same team.
Treat your body like a friend
Your body is the only body you’re ever going to have. You’re in this together for as long as you’re here, so you might as well treat your body well. Try to connect with it like you would a friend. If a friend expressed a need to you, would you ignore it? Probably not! When you receive information from your body, don’t ignore that either.
It takes time to build trust, so it will take time for you and your body to learn that you can trust each other. When you show up for yourself and consistently listen to the messages that you’re getting from your body, you reinforce the trust you’re building. When you get a cue from your body that you need something to eat and you eat, you teach your body that it can rely on you to meet its needs. Over time, it will become a habit to meet the needs of your body. Being consistent with listening to your body is a powerful way to rebuild body trust.